Assets

Around the largest tear in the front parlor’s carpet, he gathered all of the family and announced, “We should get this settled at the outset – as far as I’m concerned, there are only three kinds of humor:  that which I think is funny, that which I don’t think is funny, then all the rest.”  (An ole man with a low-tech sense of humor can indeed be a ballistic terror on a familiar battlefield.)

 

The producers and sponsors of this program are proud to announce the beginning of a new, weekly feature which will take a penetrating, behind-the-scenes look at matters of specific intellectual interest to our target audience, matters which are normally either unknown-to or simply avoided-by the general media.  For tonight’s initial segment, we don’t have anything.

 

One man
“preserved his assets”
to such a point that
they backed up on him.

 

After years of meditation, medications, spiritual studies, and numerous mystical exercises, this one guy reached a place where he could pick up invisible sounds from the air, just by turning on his radio.

 

At times of extreme blandness, one man, just to console his troops, would write down again on a slip of paper, “I was within minutes of giving our enemies the time of their life.”

J.

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