There’s this one guy
who has this motto,
“You’re only rich
when you can laugh
at nature.” 

(A man has written to say that he believes I make up all the characters who supposedly say these things, just so people won’t realize that they actually came from me. He says he believes this.)


While lecturing his post-graduate students, the sheet metal instructor informed, “The history of man began a long, long time ago,” and looking directly at a guy in front added, “But not that long.”  (Many of them later went on to much bigger things, but not that many.)


      Dialogue recently heard in the City: 

     “Look, up in the sky — it’s a bird,”

     “No, it’s a plane,”

     “No, it’s Captain Irony.”

     (Fairly long pause right here, then):

     “Noooo, it couldn’t be Captain Irony;
whenever he flies, he takes a cab.”


One guy began to believe that he had lived before…which helped compensate for the paucity of his present existence.


He led his men to the edge of a high cliff overlooking the thunderous, breaking seas, and standing tall in his saddle, hoisted his lance and declared, “Force – I’ll show you force; cunning – I’ll show you cunning; follow me brave hearts and we shall overcome even the oceans – if we take them one – wave – at – a – time.”


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