You start by considering this statement or this possibility, (if you must think of it in that term), that you have no real idea at all what, “wanting to wake-up” means – even though you have been sincerely trying to do so for forty years. Working this finally out in the privacy of your own head will, in a split second, change everything. The forty previous years of struggle, discovery and frustration are gone in flash – gone and forgotten. You are free then to begin your even more rewarding and exciting investigation of the question: Exactly what IS the urge to awaken? A question you can only confront once you realize, (in a most pleasing, joyously staggering and fuzzy fashion), that you have no earthly idea in the first place what those oh-so-important-words-to-you even mean.
Quite simply and totally non-mystically, it is the everyday fact that until you recognize that you are ignorant in a certain matter, you cannot cure the ignorance. And be fully confident that if you believe that you really do know what your “wanting to wake-up” IS – you do not.
This is literal, and unconditional, and the heartburn of frustration you continue to feel. In spite of your burning desire and interest in becoming enlightened, and seeing the truth about everything for yourself comes from the simple fact of you not realizing that you have no idea whatsoever what “wanting to be awake and enlightened” means – none.
Work this out for yourself, and the instant you suddenly see it through will be a moment you will never forget.
For the few who ever take it that far, it is their first day of freedom…
freedom from totally meaningless and needless frustration.
J.
This is Bliss.