Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93054 -1123
Transcript = None
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On Earth, there are two distinct categories of The Dumb: The Dumb, and The Super Dumb;
The Dumb are those who are…just dumb,
While The Super Dumb are those who feel superior to the first group.
Blood, Brains and Equilibrium as Indicative of The Individual’s Position IN Society:
If you bend over real fast you can make yourself dizzy;
If you bend over real, real, REAL fast — you can make EVERYBODY dizzy.
Every time there was a lull in his mental life, and he’d look at himself,
This one man would say: “Hey — don’t look at ME!”
Manufacture’s Follow-Up Notice to All Customers:
If you were originally born around these parts,
You were: Thrown out a window! —
Kicked down the stairs! —
Run over by a truck — and drowned!
Now — Welcome to life.
One man went up to a pen of cows and offered to set them free — Wow!
(Several of the lethargic., brown-eyed-ones mooed to one another:
“Boy, I Sure am glad we’re cows and not MEN, or this here story would be a REAL ball-buster!”)
Note: Parables, mythology, and religious allegories are provided to man so that he won’t
Have to directly face up to what MIGHT be possible for MEN to do —
…say, as opposed to: talking dogs, alien gods, angels, and other assorted, non-human anomalies.
With no apparent structure, rhyme or reason — hormones can accidentally make you nice —
Creative thinking for yourself can do even better.
Sex As Symbolic Of Man’s Intellectual Evolution:
When men silently fucked — all was known;
Once men could talk — they became lovers;
All lovers have secrets.
One man said:
“I now have my post graduate degree, and my professional position in life.
I am now ME! — and symbolic-of nothing!”
(P.S.: Lots of civilized blow-hards like to talk like that
Once they get off the farm, get away from Eden,
And start acting grown-up.
Well, “P.S.” again — I’ve got to run back down town now,
And pretend some more that I’m somebody, too.
Local conditions don’t really care just how dumb you are — just so long as you’re
sufficiently serious to make up for it.
And now for some Ecology News:
The human mind was the planet’s first recycler.
Between bites, a man pondered:
“If everybody here knew it was a game — would it still be a game?!”
When the plane is apparently, undeniably headed, “straight down” –
Many on board will exclaim: “God damn! — we’re headed straight down!”
Benefits Taken Note Of: Merry go rounds can’t crash.
Now this story from our Conversations Desk:
First man: “A person who could truly think for themself, wouldn’t care.”
Second man: “‘Wouldn’t care’ about WHAT?”
First man: “Guess.”
Condemnation: Domination attempted through bombast and bluster.
Condemnation: Superiority attempted through bombast and bluster.
As played out by the ordinary, what difference IS there between domination, and superiority?
(After appropriate pause, this hint):
Hint: The civilized must pretend that there’s a LOT of difference. ….(Hint, hint.)
Sitting on a soft knoll, gazing into a beautiful sunset, a man reflected,
“Why does a blow struck by an ugly man hurt worse than one thrown by others?!”
And now some — Sports News:
Dumb people get an extra shot.
After the war,
In place of an artificial leg,
One man received this poem:
I am a check,
In the mail with a letter;
Post-date me now,
Then I’ll feel better.
The Three Head Brothers sailed forth into life, each on their individual quest;
One went to seek the origin-of-things,
The second struck out to find the conclusion-of-all-things,
While the third brother set out to find a really good five-dollar haircut.
Moral: Questies Ls a queisties do.
And now another: Description in Words in The Classroom:
Understanding What Life Is All About: Step 1: Erasing the board.
Having apparently passed a certain stage in his life,
The man seemed to snap — crackle, even…
And gathering up all of the local conditions he could readily lay his hand thereon,
Held them hostage at gun point, inside a discount electronics store,
Shouting out a warning, every time the authorities would start to draw near;
“Make me any madder —
And I’ll shoot ’em in the bladder!”
Moral: Civilization DOES take its toll on us all —
But in decent neighborhoods it at least has the courtesy to say,
“Have a nice day,” as it takes your money.
The ability to admonish and correct others is all that is necessary to be partially stupid
…to an exhilarating degree.
City Social Note:
High class people like to look and act high class
…To help keep them from having to BE high class
Anything that can’t be thought of, a real thinker already thought of several years ago.
Survivor’s, If Not, Thriver’s, Tip:
How to tell if other people, “know what they are doing”: Simply ask yourself this question,
“Are they ALIVE?”
Streets are the arteries of the city — sewers, its digestive system;
Guess what the land-fill is! — just guess!
Around the house the child began singing:
“Oh, I’m a wind-up toy — Just a wind-up toy.”
And his old man laid down his newspaper and said:
“Shush, boy, I’m trying to read —
Go on outside and play-pretend that you’re a free-willed, normal human being.”
Whoaaa! — Life’s got shills EVE-RY WHERE!
Religious Scripture: The work of those who couldn’t hack it in fiction,
And who decided to try and scare everybody to get even.
Myths: From those who chickened out.
After the physician/priest/psychologist had examined the elderly patient/parishioner/client
(Who was old enough to be his great-grandfather)
And learned of his lifetime of bad habits,
He gave him a stern lecture and stringent list of changes he urgently recommended;
And when he was finished, the old boy gave a sigh of thankful amazement, saying:
“It’s a miracle I lived this long without you.”
Notice, Cup Cakes: No Matter WHAT You Hope-&-Wish, Life STILL May Work Like This:
To try and expand his intellectual vistas, one man hyphenated his name.
A place can be said to be “truly civilized”
When lapses in judgement count as much as do errors in pizza home deliveries.
And a man declared: “Civilization!? — Civilization!? — Hey!
I got chur civilization here in my pants!” — but he was WRONG!
Even “Visiting Time” is over in Eden once Philosophy becomes “serious.”
News Item Update:
To counteract the effects of our recent expose concerning everyone’s position,
Vis a vis the various branches of the armed forces,
Life has now announced that everyone has their NEW choice:
You can either be a cow, or a sheep.
(but everybody’s STILL in the goddam Navy!
One benefit of being dyed-in-the-wool, unreconstructed DUMB is that you’ll never know it.
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Most dumb people don’t care much for animals …ever wonder WHY!?
…(Can you spell, “fearful-envy,” and, “self-protection”?)
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Being Civilized: Making more out of life than ‘s actually there.
In the public rest room — the one closest to Zeus’ private office –
Someone again has placed an inscription on the wall — this time reading:
“In death we sleep — In life we snooze.”
— (And the Ole Boy is as upset as last time.)
On one world,
No one is allowed to invent a new word until they have
Tap danced nude for sixteen hours in front of everybody.
As he picked the hairs out of his ice cream, this one man was simultaneously thinking:
“My inter-personal relationships wouldn’t be so screwed up
If I didn’t have to keep dancing with all these personals.”
Query Concerning the Chronology of Civilization as Per the Individual:
Where should the middle “time zone” be in a man? — Around his chest? His waist?— Even lower?
Note: The question asked where “SHOULD” it be — NOT, where it still IS with most.
(Hey! — you there in the back — don’t hurt yourself on it! It’s JUST a question, for god’s sake!)
Many times, dumb people will try to pretend they’re shorter than they are.
If you feel like you have something to hide — then you have something to hide.
0ne rat turned to a friend and said:
“Yuk! — If the sewers were any more fair and just, you could gag me with a human!”
We may all eventually be given the opportunity to “tell our story,”
but only the civilized have one.
…(That’s one of its purposes, you see.)
A Secret Lover’s Secret:
Life’s all the time laughin’.
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Importance Is as Importance Does.
Importance — Wherefore Art Thy Sting!?
Importance Is Importance Is Importance:
Re The Matter Of, “Importance”:
If the NEWS is “SO important” then how come it don’t mean anything to the dead?
* Taking men out of a universe is like letting all the air out of seriousness. *
Dumb: Thinking that, “two plus two equals four” or some OTHER stable number.
A Warning! — (Though Too Late for Some):
The more civilized you get, the seriouser you become.
Oh, it’s a law,
It’s a fact;
You can’t shrivel up, and
You can’t go back.
One privately arrogant man,
Looked finally & directly at where, he-the-individual, that is,
At where his, thinking-processes were actually connected to life,
And said to himself: “After this — NO one’s going to tell ME where I can or cannot go.”
A man clutching too many modifiers and conditions can drown while waiting on a boat.
How Spatial Reality Gets Twisted to Accommodate the Unique Needs of Man:
Physically, each man is his own planet;
Mentally, his own solar system.
Note: Only with man can a larger go into a smaller
An octagon into a cube,
The outdoors into the in,
And all that is potential, eventually realized.
* The better he begins to look — the more those in older time zones despise man. *
Only the weak, witless and pitiful worry-about being… “taken captive.”
Description of: “Getting Ahead in A Cramped Closet” — No, I meant, life;
Description of: “Getting Ahead In Life”: Putting on someone else’s shoes.
A moth said to a bud:
“If these temporary storage areas we call home,
Were any more just and equitable,
You could gag me with just the aroma of a human.”
Those who can’t admit they’re dumb — aren’t! and RULE the world.
Anything without a name is not important in civilization.
One man thought:
“If life is so serious — then why do men take death so seriously?
City View: Some people THINK too much.
One man let all of the air out of himself — and guess what he found?!
Fact: You can’t be dumb while dancing.
Exception: Unless you’re talking at the same time.
A thinker who has a talent — and does not dance with it — belies his ability to think.
A man who insults his own mind has no one to turn to for help.
A Hermit: An intellectual malcontent without a book of instructions.
A Critic: A would-be thinker without a clue.
Said one man:
“As regards this idea of fresh, individual and creative thinking,
I say — ‘Let’s not be too hasty.”
And his mind said:
“It is not POSSIBLE to be, ‘too hasty’!”
A man who actually knows what he’s talking about can even amaze himself.
….(Okay — a-MUSE himself.)
A person sitting alone, peered down into the mirror of their coffee cup and reflected:
“Life is full of many regrets,”
And a mosquito that flew into the room added: “Yes, and people too.”
(Okay — a-MUSE himself.)