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Audio of Jan Cox 11th of April 2001
Notes by CF
Suggested Title by Cecil: “Methods” Another View
Suggested title by Derek is ” Like trying to talk to yourself through an Interpreter”
Begin: It struck me that it might be interesting to describe my view of what this is: (Man is asleep and he could be awake) in a very specific way. First there is the state you are born in, and then you hear or read about the state that man is asleep and he could be awake.
When I first read that man is asleep and he could be awake I thought that is what I want. I will achieve this and then I would worry about everything else. ( Some of this is my view and some of this is what I see in other humans. ) After years of struggling to awaken, I woke up.
I had my moment of enlightenment. There was nothing to base the experience on. I did not know how long it would last. It turned out it lasted a little over a day. And I was aware in my head of the experience slipping away. It was like standing on the beach watching the tide go out.
05:00 Sometime during the first four or five hours of the experience I started seeing the old “me” return. The noise in my head started talking, bitching, and complaining. But for all verbal intent during that twenty four hour period I was somebody else in my head. Almost a blank person.
But a blank person that realized everything that had gone before. ( It was like everything that I knew that was worthwhile and not worthwhile was in another room with “me.”) It was not all that mystical. And I did not talk to anyone and no one talked to me.
The twenty four hour experience was everything I imagined and a whole bunch of stuff that could not be imagined. (ex. the blank person) And the experience was not a one shot deal but they did taper off. (I know some of you have had similar experiences.)
10:00 So there is the desire to awake, the experience, and there is a third view we don’t talk about. What I want to talk about now (without being specific) is the running battle between being awake and being asleep. I have used all kinds of terms in the past to describe this running battle. (being mindful-not being mindful, self remembering or not self remembering etc.)
But tonight I want to say it is “I am in my self critical mode or I am like everyone else.” (Self critical mode is referencing the aim to awaken. It is not about your bad temper or the size of your nose.) All methods to awaken are dressed up self criticism.
15:00 I say if you do anything full time you would be awake. And some of you would say being anything full time is not being awake but if you were asleep full time how would you know? Its the “Damn-There I was asleep.” (Self-critical mode)
(Nobody knows what being asleep is. Its possible I may know as well as anyone and I do not know what it means. And anyone who says they do know what being asleep is knows less than I do.)
20:00 Lets say in my pretend view of all this “the self critical mode” words were changed. (People say they do that already.) Self criticism became consciously conscious, I have to self remember, or I had to constantly be mindful.
And lets say the state of being awake was explained as a stable objective awareness that is aware of “here I sit.” And you forget that awareness because it is normally swallowed up by passing emotions and thoughts, and external things beyond your control. (ex insults and disappointments)
But if you establish this stable objective awareness that you exist apart from all that, our kind of people would understand it. But what remembers or is suddenly mindful that it is not self remembering or being mindful? Its constant self criticism.
25:00 Self remembering, being mindful, etc., appears to be the method to hold your consciousness on your consciousness. These “methods” are a “phenomenon in your brain.” They are as real as any other thought and it is something the brain does not normally do.
No matter what you call it you are trying to make the brain be conscious of its own operations. From one view the brain does not see much use in wanting to wake up. But then we are left with why do we want to do it?
The brain cannot do self remembering, so the method is “I can’t do it”, or “Damn, I wasn’t self remembering, but now I am. Damn, did it again.”
What I am saying and trying to get you folks to consider is that being awake, self remembering, being mindful, or being consciously conscious is endless self criticism.
The reason I bring it up is, if you can see it, it will give you a shot. I am just poking at all these methods.
(Meditation, Self remembering, going without sex etc.) All people engaged in awakening are engaged with endless self criticism. And no one looks at it that way, and if you do it will give you a shock.
30:00 You can not be mindful and not be mindful of it (being asleep) or you suddenly realize I wasn’t being mindful of being mindful and now I am mindful of it. (Being momentarily awake) Don’t be sure you know what the point is when you see the self critical mode for yourself. ( it’ll make your socks roll up and down when you realize what it is )
The mind can hear all this but does not want to deal with it. notice that this is not anyone’s view.
35:00 Do you think anyone in the prime of life who gives up sex and joins a monastery to “wake up” and after thirty years the daydreams about sex and hamburgers would stop? It is thirty years of dedication to self criticism, self condemnation, but no one calls it that. Self criticism is the only “method” out there to awaken, if there is a “method.”
And no one calls a “method” self criticism. Remember in my original preface. (It is not the size of your nose or your bad temper.) Its about not keeping “my mind” on the goal of being mindful, etc. I cannot keep “my mind” in its own backyard. I cannot make “my dog” sit. I cannot accomplish “my aim.”
My dog…….. My dog, god that’s funny.
My aim………MY aim, that’s even funnier, just harder to see.
Do you realize that by trying to awaken , you are talking to yourself through an interpreter?
Jan’s Posted Daily Fresh Real News
April 11, 2001.
Those claiming interest in achieving a state of mind
vastly different from man’s ordinary one
have always pictured the matter as being both
fragile and complex;
from top to bottom — this is an error.
For those with more than a mere claim of interest,
nothing is more misleading than this belief.
The minds of the merely curious support this notion in many ways, several of which are:
with the most simplistic people,
the ache for another mental state is always given a
supernatural setting where in the aspirants imagine that their efforts are connected to an attempt to
please a deity,
and certainly all dealings involving gods are going to be intricate & complicated, and must be handled with delicacy and tact, (to wit):
Trying to reach a state of enlightened spirituality is both fragile and complex.
More proffered evidence by the dilettantes is that the mind/psyche/personality of man is itself
fragile and complex,
and thus any efforts made to change same
must perforce themselves be fragile and complex.
Another historically salient explanation for the presence of this error is that the very nature of the undertaking is
SO far removed from mans everyday world that staggering complexity must be expected, and delicacy of handling, the order of the day.
People — to-this-sort-of-thing-born
are more dissatisfied with themselves than the average, and have a built in tendency to think of themselves as, unusually complex and sensitive —
which fits perfectly with the overall picture of
this sort of activity itself being fragile and complex;
After all, would say they, It is the humble, troubled souls of the world who long for enlightenment,
not the haughty brutes.
“Teresa of Avila,” they would say,
“Not Alexander The Great.”
All the above aside,
inside your own head do your thoughts weave a picture of you as a very complex, and uniquely fragile person;
such is part of the innate structure of people with that certain-hunger,
(and none of this in reference to your physical health,
The thoughts in your head not only think of you in such a manner, but also of any possibility there might be of you changing what you seem to be;
you are complex and fragile, and any way by which you might alter what you are must also be complex & fragile.
It all fits, and seems air tight — it feels air tight —
— but it is in error.
All of the well known teachings & systems presenting themselves as portals to another state of mind,
appear one and all to be extremely complex,
and intricate, and are treated by their followers with an instinctive reverence and delicacy.
The great awakened masters words are both
difficult to understand,
and their metaphysical significance delicate, and fragile.
It all feels right —
and makes those involved feel good — feel spiritual,
and slightly, otherworldly
which presents no problem for anyone —
if that is all that is desired.
Waking Up, achieving Enlightenment,
becoming Liberated, and realizing directly for yourself,
is a matter in no wise fragile nor complicated,
nor will any method, teaching, ritual, or
feeling deliver you to this condition.
Seeing whats-going-on is simple, direct,
and wouldn’t break if you dropped it from a rooftop —
— and by the way — same goes for you.
What you think-of, and call your I — your self —
the internal my thing, possessor of all that is you —
is also non fragile, and definitely not complex.
In the beginning, those with the interest in this,
see life as fraught with unfairness and inexplicability,
and based on everyone else’s apparent
soon judge themselves to be unusually sensitive,
and with a much more complex view of life
than everyone else.
This is how all start the adventure,
but unless you get over this delusion,
this is also how it will conclude for you.
The secret knowledge — the Truth
that all of the would-be enlightened seek
is simple & unbreakable — not fragile & complex,
and is surrounding you — every moment of your life.
You couldn’t get away from it if you tried.
The truth is: What happens,
and the secret is: To see it happen — period!
In metaphorville, Alexander treated the Great Knot
as an alert man should the matter of:
I am Asleep, and should Awaken.
Alexander didn’t understand the Knot,
and how it was tied,
and neither do you, being asleep, or, waking up,
but his solution to the challenge by passed any
mental questions that could have appeared in his mind, he simply cut directly to the core of the problem
Do the same.
Your present consciousness of life — whatever it is —
is an enlightened one;
a man cannot have a consciousness of life that is invalid, but what he can do is suddenly realize the
unexplainable reality of this paragraph.
Hey, I’m free — I never was in jail.
Hey, I’m not fragile — I never was.
Hey, I’m no longer being imposed on by a world of idiots!
……………..whats for dinner?