Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See below
News Item Gallery = jcap 97031 -1819
Transcript = None
1819 97031 03/31/97 Copyright J. M. Cox 1997
The Doctor’s In (And You’re Not Gonna Like To Hear This, BUT)
He’s In You! (Anyway, here it is.)
There’s a dozen reasons for the illness of waking up in the morning in a
trance, but the nice counterweight to the problem is that there is only one
cure (so at least you’re not even further frustrated and annoyed by having
to run all around, here and there, wondering what you can do).
One man in fact announced that “the name of this life is ‘There is only one
thing to do.'”
…(And of course if this makes things too simple and boring for you, you
can always just keep singing and dancing, which afford an endless variety
[if you wanna call it that] to life.)
– – –
Myth tells of a long-ago world on which, after good defeated evil, as a
token of good will and to give evil something to do to keep it out of future
trouble, good gave it the keys and a lease to a “Dime A Dance” joint
catering primarily to the local riffraff…oh, I’m sorry, I forgot — you
live over in that neighborhood, don’t you.
…Yeah, but! one of the many benefits of
waltzing away your days
in that low level haze is that
it’s not necessary to pay others to provide the music —
you’re your own…”DAZZLING DISPLAY” (if you wanna call it that).
Concerning The Consciousness Related To Conscription (Or The Lack Thereof)
After being drafted, one man found himself at an isolated outpost, in charge
of guarding…well, he couldn’t tell what. As far as he could see, there
was nothing there to protect — but this is mortal existence we’re
discussin’ here folks, so all that’s irrelevant — and he went on
a’guardin’ all the same.
* * *
The few live in a different world than the many;
they live in the same world, but only the few know it,
and this makes it different.
While on a pondering spree, a man surveyed the human form and asked himself,
“Why do we have eyes in our head, and not for instance in our…feet?”
Just on the outskirts of a small town was a large billboard that announced,
“Nature (In Her Wisdom And Drive For Maximum Cost Efficiency)
Puts Mills Next To Rivers, And Ski Lifts Near Mountains —
Always Letting Need Determine Location.”
…(And our pondering man [mentioned supra] one day, by pure accident,
happened to drive past this sign, and upon instant digestion of its message
momentarily lost control of his car and almost ran off the road.
“Oh no,” cried Captain Toad, “not ‘ran off the road,’ anything but that!”
…(And a certain hare [who was a professor of philosophy at a well-known
university, and off on a research sabbatical was passing by, and hearing
the frog’s cry, stopped and accusingly said, “Hey-y-y, you tryin’ to steal
my material, or what?”
And Nature obligingly whispered the reply, “Or what, dear boy?”
Always — “Or what?”
One man narrowed down his total approach to what’s contained in this idea:
“Take everything you own with you,
everywhere you go.”
One man had a rocket up his ass — the man next to him, his mind.
The first man was a soccer player — the other, a philosopher.
The first man found life “okay” (as long as he didn’t think about it too
much), and the other man couldn’t find life “okay” or otherwise without
thinking about it a whole bunch.
And the moral to all this is — missing!
“Missing-in-action” (as some would say), and “missing-because-of-action” (as
others would have it).
And a viewer writes:
I object to you at the very last moment introducing into the conversation
the idea of nuts.
I resent it, and I’m sure so do many others.
Manny and Estelle Others,
New Brunswick, CT.
…Oh, and that reminds me: Some guy in Thailand (or Bogota) has come up
with this theory that he wouldn’t be so periodically annoyed with his mind
if he did not so consistently take the darn thing seriously!
…(He says just thinking about it enough to be able to express the theory
gives him the Bermuda “willie-jillies” sump’in’ awful.)
And now for The Farm Report:
Well sure, everybody hates opera,
but the only people who really hate it
are those who listen to it.
And another viewer writes:
Oh!…now I get it…or maybe I don’t…
I either heard what you just said backwards! — or else you said it
(Guess it makes little difference…sorry I brought it up.)
Apologetically yours, etc.
Machines are machines — and non-machines are non-machines.
Now the question is —
how do you tell ’em apart.
…Uh-h-h-h-h, no…that’s not quite right.
Okay, here it is:
Machines are machines — and non-machines are non-machines.
And the question is — how can you tell them apart if you
Now, that’s much-h-h better, huh?
Huh? — you don’t think so?…
One day a mighty voice appeared to a man and declared, “I am life, and I am
at your disposal. My only purpose is to serve you.”
And the man (being no rube right off the farm) caught on quickly and said,
“Ahhh, you’re not the REAL life.”
And as always we’re right back to the question of how do you tell ’em apart.
“What?” — everything, you apple-cheeked ninny-kins.
One man developed his own personal method, which is to sit and try to stay
continually balanced on the point of a needle.
…(This of course works optimally when undertaken nonphysically.)
One man always knew what he was talking about…while he was talking!
But when he looked away, he no longer did.
This man is you — this man is your mind.
– – –
One man was clever as a goose —
but geese get cooked —
he never did.
Balanced! — on the point of a needle.
* * *
A boy asked his father, “What is the difference in being here and thinking
that you’re here?”
“Being here,” he replied.
An Adult Playtime Tip
If you go outside, you’ll be sorry.
* * *
The Matter Of Uncertainty — And Tripping-The-Light-Fantastic Traumas
When just dancing, the feet have no questions, when singing and dancing,
the feet ofttimes hardly have feet.
The difference between the many and the few is not whether they stumble or
not, but whether or not they think there was some specific reason for it
…other than them being (momentarily at least) part of the many and doing
the kinds of things the many always do.
A genie on another world once offered a wretched creature his choice of
either being normal or being something not quite known which was somewhere
between and beyond being either wretched or normal (figuring that the poor
specimen would pick being normal as part of the predictable process of a
creature gradually working its way up and improving itself), but the genie
misread where the being stood, the being considered normalcy just a worse
form of wretchedness.
The Fact: You’re usually not at home.
The Question: Does it make any difference if you care or not?
People who don’t know how to converse with themselves talk to god, the dead,
unseen forces, books, and other people, in the futile attempt to learn
what’s going on.
(I must apologize to any normal people who may have heard what I just said,
since the word “futile” is inoperative in their lives.
Pardon this verbal inconvenience, but I was attempting to convey something
unspeakable anyway, and the inclusion of this concept made it a bit less
Concerning Extraordinary States Of Consciousness And Their Lack Thereof
“Enlightenment” implies that there is something in the dark, and all you
have to do is look around and you realize this is not so — it is in fact
not possible, for anything you perceive to be in the dark is so only
temporarily (day invariably following night, spring — winter, etc.) and
everyone fully knows this from experience, yet mentally pretends otherwise.
(Gives something more interesting to write home about, I guess.)
A man so pondered, “Is my mind a centrifuge — or is it in a centrifuge?”
To a knowing man, the exact locations on maps are unimportant, while the
names given to them might not be…at least for an instant.
The Mental Two-(Or Even Three-)Step
You can dance with the past,
you can dance with the future,
you can even dance with your own reflection —
which takes care of all possibilities.
…And a slick gigolo lounging by the bar said, “Is that last line to be
taken as positive and encouraging, or otherwise?”
But what would a truly slick man be, other than wise, and able to see
between his own two feet?
“Okay, count it off, boys:
A’one and a’two and a-FIRE!”
* * *
One man divided up his week into alternate days whereby on one day he’d
believe that anything was possible, while on the next he’d believe that
nothing was possible, and so on.
He says it worked so well
he eventually couldn’t tell
which one (if either) of them was true.
(Plus, no matter,
it had no effect on
what he could do…or not do.)
One man had a plan:
He’d never say a word that started with B until he’d said one that started
with A (and so on with every other letter in the alphabet, always saying
first a word beginning with the letter right before it).
Must I go into further detail telling you what a happy, happy man he proved
to be? …(And if you feel inclined to mention that you don’t get the
point and want to ask me what it is, don’t bother. Your act of asking is
proof itself that you’ll never understand.)
** Look! up in the sky! — it’s a sky! **
One man would put his mind to bed…oh-h-h, at least several times a minute.
While on a journey to Istanbul, he kept dreaming of London, Rome, and Cairo,
and never got to Istanbul.
You cannot travel in a group, you must go as a self-collected singularity —
a unity — a true individual, taking with you at all times everything you
One man had a rash, upon which fleas feasted, and to maintain this
condition, all he had to do was periodically comment on it.
This man, one day, took a fresh look at the situation of the rash and the
fleas, and renamed it his — emotions.
On a faraway star was once a most evil (and gauche, may I say) spirit, who
tormented the inhabitants, not by actually “tormenting” them, but by giving
them each a small, initial notion of what torment might be, and from then on
simply urging them (from behind the scenes) to think about it!
No matter the galaxy, no matter the solar system, no matter the world, no
matter the creatures, just “thinking about it” will always — get the job
“Is this why,” piercingly pondered one mortal, “I sometimes have a
deep suspicion that hippos (and several other species) are secretly laughing
Rashes and fleas — rashes and fleas,
can bring physical passions — to their knees.
A Tip Regarding Extreme Living Arrangements
Make all your family stay with you.
– – –
When he heard it said that “the world is big enough for everybody,” one man
asked himself, “Out there, or in here?”
In retrospect, one man was forced to rename his life “Brunacelle And The
* * *
One man’s take on the matter of “ownership” is that “my body owns me, and
I own only my mind…and even that’s an illusion.”
One man thought, “If there’s anything I hate more than my caring about
conditions, it’s my commenting about my caring.”
And the man’s nephew mused, “Preferences are acceptable…as long as they
don’t exist, and pardner, they shore don’t exist around these here parts
unlessens you gab on about ’em.”
And the uncle pondered the sudden presence of the dialect appearing toward
the end of the lad’s comments.
…But, hey (as we often like to say), hey! you talks yer talk — and you
takes yer chainces.
(Yer supposed to have the National Amnesia
cued up to play right cher!)
A boy asked his father, “What is the difference between being totally
focused and being in a trance?”
“Being totally focused,” he replied.
A boy asked his father, “What is the difference in everything?”
“Nothing,” he replied.
In Re The Destination And The Costs
Everyone wants to go there, but few seem willing to pay a price — okay, few
seem able to pay a price once they’ve realized what it is.
* * *
A boy asked his father, “Is thinking about and talking about the realization
anything at all like the realization? — and don’t answer me by asking if
looking at pictures of food is anything like actually eating food.”
“Okay,” his old man replied, “Is chewing on pictures of food anything at all
like eating real food?”
“All right!” exclaimed the lad, “now we’re getting somewhere.”
One man once thought, “If I could consume what’s already in my mind, and
start all over with an empty plate, then perhaps I’d get somewhere.”
And the voice of his great-grandfather spoke to him and said, “Ah, but you
“How?” cried the man.
“Set yourself free from the idea that you have a plate, and that there is in
fact food on it. It is a matter of emptying yourself, my boy, of emptying
The whole idea of “awakening” from some state of sleep is a bit pretentious
in that no condition of slumber is ever permanent; as sure as six o’clock
follows five, so does a man’s awakening succeed his sleeping.
I believe what’s at the heart of this is a few people’s dissatisfaction with
our everyday state of walking-around awareness — which obviously and
demonstratively is quite sufficient for all of man’s normal needs!
But — Jeeze — some people are never satisfied. Just take a gander at
their cemeteries and all the plastic flowers there, waiting to bloom when
the Earth opens up, the zombies come out, and the dancing can finally begin.
(Or from their view, begin again…yeah, like it ever started in the first
And a viewer writes:
Is what you just said
still covered by your past assurances that,
no matter what it seems you’re talking about, it’s still and always about
Why, silly viewer, what a question.
It’s hard to see clearly while
singing and dancing.
And one man had this idea, “If I could do just one single, solitary, focused
thing — totally right! — I’d be okay.”
Why, silly man, what an idea.
* * *