Life: The Ultimate Culprit
Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap jcap 95061-1443
Transcript = None
The News
95061-1
There was once a people who had forever been haunted by something unknown, but assumed to be of extreme magnitude and complexity —
Then one day, one man saw it,
And it was actually quite simple,
But when he described it, no one would believe him,
So he had to make it sound more complicated than it was.
95061-2
One man wished he was a bird —
Then wished he was a worm —
then a bird again —
then he wished he was a cat….Then a worm…..Then went back to wishing he was a bird….
And finally wished he could quit wishing he was something other than he was.
* * *
As the grand prize winner,
One man won the right to have his porch removed..’
* * *
A man wrote to the secretary of transportation:
“Dear sir: if the times keep a’changin’,
Which should I be more concerned about: the traffic going by my house,
Or my porch’s particular position in relationship thereto?”” and the secretary wrote him back to say that his biggest concern should be that traffic doesn’t run through his house,
But as those wired-for, and given-to the bureaucratic life are further wont to say, he also noted that this info was probably “Too little, and way too late.”
* * *
95061-3
A man full of complaints) problems, and useless questions
Went to see-a mystic who told him that he was worrying about the wrong things and the man asked which ones specifically, and the mystic could only shake his head in disbelief.
95061-4
Over-heard at the party:
“What’ll we do when the drugs run out?” “Huh?”
Over-heard at the party:
“What’ll we do when our dreams run out?” “What?”
Over-heard at the party:
“What’ll we do when our fears run out?” “Huh?”
Over-heard at the party:
“What’ll we do when our thoughts run out?”,
And some one then mumbled something about it being, “About time,” or something like that.
95061-5
From chapter 4 of our: “Unpublished book of unnecessary psychological data”:
You can’t simply, “Not care” unless you know how to do it correctly.
* * *
95061-6
Whereas an ordinary man might say that
Your luck has not run out until death is holding a straight flush, one of the few might see it as a pre-demise possibility with stupidity replacing death at the table.
A viewer writes: “Would you please clarify a…”
— yes, certainly:
To a non-routine person involved in that certain type of activity, “Stupidity” means simply: “Mentally, running on automatic.”
And the viewer asks: “So it has nothing to do with…” — that’s correct,
L nothing to do with education, sophistication, or intelligence,
“Intelligence”, in our use of the word, as one’s automatic mental level. “So”, said the viewer — that’s right again:
So there’s no explaining it away — and no thinking-your-way-out-of-it, only the matter of getting off of neural automatic.
95061-7
The last stop at the end of the not caring road
Is in not caring what you think of either caring or not.
“Papa, is this in any fashion related to, ‘consciousness without comment’?” “Either that son, or else, ‘traffic without a porch’.”
* * *
The reason that,
In the city you must have a chauffeur’s license-separate from your regular driver’s license is to minimize the possibility of you
Driving yourself crazy.
* * *
4
95061-8
From amidst the din, smoke, stench, and chaos of the battlefield,
Arose a voice that cried out: “Live by the body & sword, die by the body & sword,” quickly followed by another that noted: “Hey, I’m in the wrong conflict!”
* * *
Knowing who your enemies are does you no good if you have no enemies.
* * *
A man wrote to himself and asked:
“Does it really, ‘do-any-good’ to know anything!?”
95061-9
And from our “Unpublished criminal law dictionary” we find this entry:
Life: the ultimate culprit.
95061-10
The more civilized and mentally driven is a routine man
The less concern he has over whether or not his heroes share this trait.
….(“The less concern”, to say the least.)
95061-11
Some mornings one man would stay in bed long after he’d awakened just to see what his mind would try to do before he got up.
* * *
According to a certain unpublished legend,
There was once a people who tried to un-civilize themselves in an attempt to reduce the useless influences of their mind.
…This could be crude, but this could be effective.(!?!)
* * *
95061-12
In certain matters, “Rate-of-speed’ equals control.”
95061-13
In re: doing and thinking:
Is it harder to be: a blacksmith who’s a mystic? — or, a mystic who’s a blacksmith?
…And furthermore:
No one but a damn-fool, with a damn-fool porch, painted with damn-fool stickum
Would worry over damn-fool questions like this! —
.. .(but the answer happens to be:
It’s harder to be anything
Than it is to be nothing –
…Unless of course you’re still on the porch, still wantin’ to be some body.)
“Papa, why come you never hear those-who-know
Seriously speak of whether knowing makes it harder or not?” “What?”
95061-14
Still another scene from: “The great struggle”:
‘Yet another day arrived wherein the people decided to attack the palace, and being already well experienced in such attempts, they prepared for the strongest defense and counter-attacks -yet on this particular day,
They were greatly — greatly surprised
To encounter no resistance at all.
Note: this is either a fictional scene from the struggle, or else the final one (wouldn’t you say!?)
* * *
.95061-15
From our “Unpublished city dictionary”:
Art: science for the dense.
….(did we leave any one out!?)
* * *
95061-16
Civilized men remain fascinated with those who live unrepentant lives of crime in that it represents to them, “A life of no thinking.”
…This further hints to them the possibility that:
“No thought — no regrets”
…(no small notion for the mentally driven.)
95061-17
Accusations shouldn’t necessarily produce explanations & defenses — even inside of one’s own mind, regarding one’s self.
95061-18
A woman wrote the fractions physician:
“Dear doctor: Are forty people,
Each 2.5% awake,
gathered together,
The same as one fully enlightened individual?”
Moral: figures may not lie, but not necessarily the same for correspondents.
And a gentleman writes to our moral editor:
“Dear sir: what did that last one mean?”
And our editor replied: “By, ‘mean’, do you mean, what does it mean!?”
Conclusion: by, “Conclusion”, do you mean like, “Totally complete”?’ as in, 2.5 times 40!?
A woman re-wrote the fractions physician: “Dear doctor: I wish I’d never heard of you. Sincerely — that’s all — etc.”
* * *
Although everyone talks to them self, the more-knowing, in doing so, either
Love it or hate it more than everyone else.
* * *
95061-19
The test:
If you can slow down, you were going too fast.
* * *
95061-20
A viewer writes:
“A viewer wrote you recently regarding your comment that:
‘the mind trying to understand itself is like a tree trying to climb itself’, and said that he found it most interesting, yet wished he’d never heard it -well, I’d like to add that at least you didn’t say that
It’s like a hand trying to grab itself.”
It’s like a hand trying to grab itself!!
95061-21
Above the second urinal on the right someone posted this note: “Speed bumps on the road to enlightenment:
– taking common, publicly-noted concerns to be your concerns.
– believing it is your duty to help and correct others.
– accepting, as your privilege, to be righteously outraged.
And: you listening to you think — seriously!
Please flush when finished.”
* * *
095061-22
The test (again):
If you can slow down, you were probably very close to being in a daze.
* * *
95061-23
The mind and modern man:
An inner commentary. Saying more and more
Regarding a life of doing less and less.
* * *
95061-24
The reminder, (regarding, “The test”):
You can always slow down.
* * *
95061-25
One man went to the wizard pawn broker
And offered to trade in everything he owned in return for freedom-from-all mental chatter.
According to one unpublished myth,
There was once a group of men, pursuing the extraordinary neural goal, who worshiped the multiplication tables…. Well…. …They were heard to apparently be continually praying to them (!?!)
* * *
95061-26
Stepping out for the morning paper,
A man found a note stuck in the screen door
that he’d left there for himself the night before, (which said): “Cheer up — it’s gonna be another miserable day any way.” And he knew from the tone of voice that it was definitely from him.
A viewer writes: “Please-e-e don’t explain that one any further!”
* * *
95061-27
“Things to know” time on the show:
A man’s mind can do more than one thing at a time–
a man’s mind can do more than two things at a time–
A man’s mind can do at least three things at the same time, and for all-the-hell-you-know,
Even that may not be the end of it.
* * *
95061-28
The difference described again this time, differently:
Although everyone works for life,
Everyone, save mystics, also spend their leisure time under its auspices.
* * *
95061-29
There was once a man who wanted to catch the world’s largest fish, and he made up so many stories about how to go about it
that he forgot all about angling.
The preceding was either our: depressing tale of the day, joke of the day, or,
Inspirational thought… for those who didn’t get hooked, today.
* * *
95061-30
Now a selection from our: “Unpublished book of un-thought-of proverbs”:
Silence is to dignity as aggression is to defense.
95061-31
A poem: untitled (this time)
You can:
Cut your own hair, pull your own teeth, break your own heart, give yourself grief;
Tell yourself no, tell yourself yes, lean on opinion, depend on a guess;
You can:
Think you believe, and, believe that you think, but never get sober if, you’re still gonna drink,
Now this little rhyme,
May seem quite oblique,
But it says; don’t wake up if, you’re going back to sleep,
…(someone better call out the porch police!)
95061-32
In the beginning all would—be mystics say:
“If I just knew exactly what to do — I’d do it.°
While later many of them wish they’d never discovered what it is to be done.
95061-33
From our: “Unpublished medical dictionary:
Consciousness without comment: a form of self-performed circumcision of the mind.
* * *
95061-34
A man wrote Dr. Jocose:
“Dear doctor: after you’ve laughed at absolutely everything possible — — what then!?”
* * *
One time some men went into business together -most of the businesses lasted —
A few did not.
— there’s your, “What then!?”
* * *
One man played with words — until he grew up.
— Most people never grow up.
* * *
95061-35
One man’s motto:
The best thing about making notes is – throwing them away! —
a mind of, ‘post-it’s.
95061-36
There was once a boat —
That had a wheel —
That some had lashed to the rudder.
95061-37
At certain times,
In certain struggles,
in action and silence is the proper battle plan —
This is true both externally and internally.
95061-38
Local reality asked one man:
“Why are you always making fun of me?”
And the man tried to kick him in the ankle.