title tbd
Audio = Stream from the bar; download from the dots
06/17/1994
Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 94054 -1297
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The News
94054- 1
How human life began — a comprehensive survey
After the first man was born, (and learned how to think), he immediately started making things more, “complicated.”
The whole idea of, “secret knowledge”
Would lose much of its pazazz
If the situation was seen not as one of, “info being hidden,” but of men being too dense to see it.
94054- 2
Your mind is your glory — except under two conditions:
One is when it won’t be quiet,
And two is when it’s getting its fuel from an outside source,
And all interested parties should take note that the mind is never quiet, and is totally dependent on outside fuel supplies.
…(the really, really interested should further check out the possibility of extending the everyday store hours of perception.)
When things don’t seem connected, you have two choices:
One is that you’re incorrect, and they are connected,
Or two, you can just forcibly sqoosh ‘em together, (and like that).
On the great inner adventure,
When you unexpectedly feel like you just can’t go on,
You have two possibilities — and both of them are complex concepts, driven by ultra obvious & direct fuel, and spelt exactly the same.
94054- 3
Only ordinary people “care” what happens to everyone else –and that’s only because they’re forced to!
Only ordinary people “care” what happens to everyone else -that’s because they’re ordinary!
Only ordinary people “care” what happens to everyone else —
And that’s only because they talk about it! — yeah, that’s right —
— ‘cause they’re forced to “talk about it”!
If there actually is such a creature as a “mystic”
Then he’d surely have to have at least this one distinguishing characteristic: he wouldn’t be “forced” into any thing human;
Human things he’d do, because of being supremely human.
94054- 4
And now today’s: spiritual lesson & quiz
Why don’t cats go to heaven?
Cause there’s no “reward” for cats being cats.
94054- 5
While thumbing through some cd’s, a man said:
“you know, I’ve gotten to where I don’t like hearing recordings of performers who’re no longer alive, and his friend replied: “yeah, I’ve started feeling the same way about authors.”
And a man standing near-by, overhearing this, turned and gave his mind a most unusual look.
94054- 6
Genes care for family, and life looks after the herd, but who’s to see to an individual’s mind, save himself!?
94054- 7
The comment that covers how mental accounts stay balanced in city condos, as regards those living in the basement:
“the sex is in the mail. “
A man asked his baker:
“is it possible to live in the present and yet in the past simultaneously?”,” and the yeasty one replied:
“not if you’re not normal with residency in more than one time zone.”
Moral: it’s hard enough to stay upright using two legs — just imagine what it’s like to have three!
Anyone who believes that there is any “moral” to reality would believe that the, “sex is in the mail.”
94054- 8
Time for a define:
Talk, as ordinarily practiced by the ordinary: sport for the un-sportsmanlike.
94054- 9
The human mind can be like a record, stuck in one spot, spinning on a turntable that never stops.
“daddy, I want a cd player as my intelligence.”
“why son, that’s right insightful and contemporary of you to prefer a digital storage system over an analog one —
A vast improvement in memory-retrieval potential.”
“naw, I just want one cause I don’t have one, plus, it’ll cost you to get it.” “why son, that’s downright cute and shitty of you to have such an attitude” and they commenced to throw good-natured, fake blows at one another, as they each privately pondered the possibility of somehow extrapolating some kind of “moral” from all of this —
— but alas — ”’twas not to be! For reasons I think, quite obvious.
Recapping our top story:
The human mind can be like a record store, stuck in the same spot
Until the neighborhood completely runs to ruin, and they double its rent.
Regardless or not whether it is part of known history, everything that man can, and could have done — he’s done!
Everything that is, but this kind of thing.
As necessary proof of his continuing distinction, a mystic unilaterally triples his own rent every few years or months.
94054-10
Rituals: complex efforts simplified …way-y-y too much.
94054-11
The individual part of one guy’s brain looked out at the collective part, and thought: “it’s tough to be popular when you have no peers.” it pushed this a bit further, and added: “but then again,
Non-peers never recognize their status, so how comes this to be?”
The independent part pondered even onward until it was face-to-face with the realization that, “how-things-are” doesn’t necessarily always respond to questions about itself.
The independent part of that man’s mind was tickled to see this, and took the joy quite personally — and as useful.
Definitions–
Psychologists: sociologists afraid of crowds. Theologists: priests afraid of crowds.
Power-brokers: politicians afraid of crowds. Collective thought: minds afraid of everything.
….(well….Everything new…unexpected…or, stimulating.)
A man asked his doctor: “is the stimulating always, ‘controversial’?” “only if you talk about it,” he replied.
94054-12
Question: in the long run, who’s actually worth more to life, an outlaw, or a mystic?
Answer: don’t ask.
One homeowner says: “for a while they were making noise in front of my house -then after I complained, it started coming from behind my house -now I’m hesitant about saying anything else about it. Wouldn’t you be!?”
Another happy comment from another satisfied resident.
Or: an alternative way to look at it:
When it comes to everyday, neighborhood, “7-11 thinking,”
If he could, a mystic would hold-himself-up, every day of the week.
94054-13
Psychology shot out of a botanical cannon
The human mind is the world’s only flower that can thrive simply off the fumes of a septic tank.
The international body lobby registers the strongest possible complaint! …(yeah!, boy, don’t it wish it could speak and raise such objections! …[yeah, but why, (even if it could), would it stoop so low!?])
Now on to some real hip, “city news”
One way to show how modern you are in your thinking
Is to discuss the increasing evidence of a direct connection & interdependence between man’s mind and his body;
This is also, (at no additional expense), a way to display the
Laggardly condition of your personal perception.
94054-14
And now on to today’s: ”news of psychology” -this particular item headed:
“the counselors & the committed”–
There is quite a difference between being a “rat,” and being a “rat catcher’s daughter”! —
Yes, quite a difference — but not quite e-nough!
94054-15
Before giving up his normal life, and all of its incidentals,
A man stood before the monastery door, and addressed the head monk: “will the grand undertaking equal the joy of fine wine and dining? Will the supreme struggle match the ecstasies of sex and sport?
Will the great experience itself surpass all of the other pleasures of life?” and the monk said: “will you shut up!?”
94054-16
The king sat and thought:
“if squirrels are just rats with better P.R.,
Then maybe mysticism is simply insanity camouflaged.”
This gave him some comfort…at least more than when he used to wonder if transcendental thought was actually a cover for insurrection.
…(of course a few know that it’s “all the same thing” —
…[the few, that is,
With nothing more to lose].)
94054 -17
Only those of “non-local mentation” can talk to the dead,
But the way in which they do it, you wouldn’t recognize as communication, plus, they don’t have the same definition of “the dead” as you do, plus, they call collect.
94054-18
On this one world they have a saying that says:
“friends don’t let friends go off to other planets while drunk or disoriented.”
How come you don’t have such a catch-all in your own mind!?
Dumb people are “straight-forward” people — they have no choice —
And in this context, “straight-forward” is not to be confused (over 2 amps), with any form of individual intelligence;
Docile cows in the midst of a stable herd will believe anything they hear…. …or else, reject it …which to bovinial brains is all the same — quite simple, and, straight-forward.
Minds are moons — mystical thought, orbits.
94054-19
Specialized health watch–
Mental hostility is a morbific form of gravity for would-be astronauts.
94054-20
The reason that talk is so interesting and meaningless is that it’s a perfect reflection of civilization.
A man asked his plumber: “is the interesting always meaningless?” “Only if it has to do with the mind.” he re-gurgled.
One man could “make himself sick” just by thinking about it, while another guy could just be being himself.
A man asked his accountant: “what does this have to do with anything?” “if I were you, I’d switch from a calendar to a fiscal year,
And transfer those capital investitures to an off-shore dummy corporation,” and the man asked: “you mean like my brother-in-law!?” and the accountant replied: “what are professionals for!?”
And the man didn’t know.
94054-21
The reason that talk is so interesting and meaningless is that it is a perfect reflection of civilization — oh, I’m sorry, we just did that one.
94054 -22
Intelligence, (as practiced by the ordinary): accepting or rejecting what others have said.
…(is it any wonder that mystics have been viewed as so deranged!?)
To prove his superiority to other creatures.
For every time his dog turned around three times,
One man would turn around four — before he lay down!
And What was the ”moral” and final line to Aesop’s very last fable: “ooo! — it sure is dark in here.”
94054-23
“self-effacement” reexamined–
Man has two ears, and only one tongue so that he can get screwed twice by what he hears for every one time he can complain about it.
The kid of one mystic one day thought:
“the actual best thing about, ‘ancient wisdom’ is that,
Just like with old people — it’s easier to knock-down and kick-around.”
While strolling in the garden one afternoon, the king stopped and thought: “just what the hell does the church need an army for, anyway!?” and from behind an arbor, the choir began to sing:
“you can knock me down, step in my face,
Test my power from place to place,
Do anything that you wanna do, but,
Don’t let a country be governed by two.”
…and some mystics,
(who’d been laying in a daisy bed),
Quietly slipped out, holding their head.
94054-24
How to handle visiting relatives:
If you talk long enough — everybody will eventually leave.
How to handle routine thought:
Same way.
(oh yeah — you can, in both instances, also use the “silent treatment”.)
How to tell if you belong in activity like this:
If you hate riddin’ this bus, just imagine how you’ll despise flyin’!!
94054-25
When dead, the ordinary are buried in a mass grave. …same too, while they live.
Civilization! — what a concept! What a bargain! —
What a thoroughly delightful place to escape from.
While you still have the chance.
94054 -26
The grasp of the great mystery begins with the great hunger — and likewise continues.
94054-27
The same as with fleas — if you talk about problems — you’ll have problems.
…(those of you with pets, or in the pest control business, can dispute this all you like, but
For whom the bell tolls is goose for the gander.)
94054-28
Even more hallmarks highlighting the distinction between mystics & the ordinary
Weird stuff fascinates simple people,
While simple stuff fascinates weird people, …(“weird people” of course, being ”mystics.”)
A man asked his gardener:
“how come there’re more young weird mystics than old ones?”,
And the weedy one replied: “but there’re not more older ones.”
So the man said: “so…okay…so, what if there were! – then why’d it be?” and the lawn laytician replied: “ah! — so you wanna get…get… …what d’ya call that stuff!?”
“manure?”
“no, no. It’s something else.”
“philosophical?”
“no-o, maybe it was manure.”
94054-29
One man used to dream that everything was connected” -only to awaken and see it was not;
Then he began to dream that everything was un-connected, and would awaken to discover that it was.
He soon caught on to what was happening, and quit dreaming altogether.
Moral: you can lead a mind to horses, but you can’t make it bet.
94054-30
Before committing himself to the great adventure,
A man stood before the monastery door, and addressed the head monk:
“what is this grand undertaking, but the attempt not to ever again undertake the moot and meaningless!?
What is this supreme struggle, but the effort not to foolishly struggle what is the mystical experience, but a clear comprehension of everyday life, simply, ‘as-it-is’!?”
And the monk said: “what are you — a nut!? —
Shut-up and come on in, if you’re comin’!”
94054-31
Those who “know the secret” also know an even greater one.
94054 -32
The “news of civilization” as defined from a mystic’s perspective: exhaustive coverage of uninteresting events.
A man asked a guy who’d made a comment regarding `”how a mystic might look at something” — “who are you to say what a mystic is,
And how he might behave?!” — and the guy replied: “would you have ever thought of what I had to say about it?’ and the man said: “no.” and the guy said: “I rest my case.”
And the chorus began to sing: “I rest a’my case on the bosom of Absolom.”
Oh, by the way —
While-you-were-out,
Some people acted more civilly than others.
“…oh, the bosom of bedlamham…
94054 –33
At the appearance of the deposed king, one of the town’s people so spoke: “my how the mighty have fallen.”
And a warrior standing near-by thought:
“and my how the simplistic project and levitate their own fears and uncertainty
Into a human form above their own heads only to moan and rejoice in its inevitable downfall.”
94054-34
The difference between the ordinary looking to a god for help, and a mystic looking at reality for information,
Is that the ordinary want to hear a voice say:
“take two of anything, and you’ll be all right by morning.”
While a mystic doesn’t want to hear from anybody — with mere advice.
“you see, my boy,
That’s the great thing about the obvious —
It doesn’t have to hint, -or allude to anything.”
94054-35
A validity-of-currency update:
To a mystic, all promises are, “funny money.”
94054-36
Life runs life,
And you can either do your job and keep quiet, or,
Try to quit and collect unemployment, or,
Try to burn the building down, and thus commit gradual suicide, or,…or…or
One man told his roofer:
“when I die, put on my headstone the inscription: ‘and — or’,” and the tarry one replied: “is that to be one, or two headstones?”
And the man was suddenly struck anew with the power, the beauty, the balance, and the griminess of a well-polarized mind.
The difference between a mathematician and a mystic is that a mystic knows how to really count. Where it counts!
94054-37
As a reward for “something or the other,”
Local conditions offered one man his choice of becoming either: king of the stomach, or,
Pontiff of the heart,
And the man responded:
“since your offer didn’t include, ‘magnus of the mind,’ could I instead just have a set of luggage, or a gift certificate?”
On a certain little-used road way,
The sign that used to say: “yield”
Has been replaced with one that says: “don’t be stupid.”
94054 -3 8
A mystic’s greeting card says nothing —
— and it’s slogan is: “when you care enough to send the best.”
…(yeah, I know it’s already been used, but here the emphasis is different)
One man thought he’d been viciously attacked by some ferocious rottweilers – …but it turned out to just be something he ate —
…which turned into something he thought.
“hi handsome — live around here?”
“yes, as a matter of fact — just upstairs from here.”
“upstairs!? — I didn’t know this place had an upstairs!”
“maybe that’s why we’ve never run into each other before.”
“upstairs!? — upstairs!? — I can’t believe I never noticed it before!?!?”
One comely miss renamed her mezzanine level “the bow wow room”.
94054-39
And now: “how life began on one planet” :
Well, things started out pretty simple — but stayed that way, and to tell you the truth —
Not much actually resembling life ever got much of a toe hold.
And now a special feature: “how to locate a mystic’s house anywhere”:
He’ll be the one who always has neighbors on both sides who can count to two.
94054-39-b)
And now for tonight’s final, “death feature”:
The burial of one neural knight is yet to be completed
Since they still cannot get the smile off his face sufficient to close the coffin.
Oh yeah —
Those of you so inclined may ask yourself if it is not time to consider updating your conception of what constitutes: demise, happiness & finality.
94054-40
One man spent twenty years writing, then twenty, editing the writing, and finally, twenty, erasing.
94054 -41
The way you could tell the actual leader of this one band of knights was that when things got dangerous & promising, he was the first one not to say anything.
94054-42
To help flog their cheesy merchandise,
Sleezy salesmen use the trick of continually addressing you by name throughout their pitch.
…shh!…did I just hear life calling you?