Problems of Life Are Not Right or Wrong Till Someone Says So
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#1264 – 04/01:
Notes by TK
Soap operas are popular because they exactly mimic the ordinary inner dialogue of people. Institutions can never escape their original name despite the inevitable deviation from its purpose. Ditto for man’s personality. Problems of life have no right/wrong answer until it is SAID so by someone.
Two sets of Local Conditions were talking one day and one of
them said: “You know what’s fascinating in the distinction
between my native reality, and my natives’ artistic sense? Well,
for instance: The creatures on one of my worlds, while producing
a popular television series brought on, one week, a rather
dis-likable character, (played by a well known, well liked,
actor), just for a one shot appearance, then shortly thereafter,
their lead actor died, and the consensus was that the ideal
replacement would be the actor who’d played the unfavorable
character in the episode I just mentioned. So — what a dilemma
they faced: to bring back an actor so already identified with a
negative persona, and present him now as of leading man stature.
So — What a dilemma! What to do? But no problem for the little
ones. With the help of artistic license — and the assistance of
the audience’s limited scope of memory & awareness, they — with
no introduction, explanation, or excuse — simply brought the
actor and his character back on, now in the lead role, and,
voila! Instant rehabilitation! Unbelievable, I tell you —
absolutely & delightfully, Un-Be-Lieve-A-Ble!” But the other set
of Local Conditions shook his head, “No, no!” And said: “Forget
your ‘World of the arts,’ and dig this: I’ve got creatures on
one of my planets who do the same thing in real life!” And the
first set then shook his head and said: “Naw-w?!? Come on.”
Collectively, up until now, men have used religion as the
way to handle their evolutionary responsibilities.
The man picked up his ringing phone, said hello, and the
voice on the other end asked: “Who is speaking, please?” And
the man replied: “Fred Lumbarregent.” And the voice said:
“Could you spell that please.” And the man said: “F, R…” And
the voice on the phone said: “Wait — F, R…” And across town
another man wrote his mother and said: “Is it just me, or are
most famous people pretty pathetic?!?” And no viewers wrote in
about either one of these — so, we now move on, humanely, to the
The philosophy of one ancient people went thusly: “It is as
pleasurable to be hungry as fed, to be tired as rested, to be
agitated as at peace. This is either true to the mind and the
body knows it not, or else it is the other way about, and we
recognize it not.”
…..”Daddy,” said the boy tugging at the elder’s cuff, “That
does not, to me, sound like the sort of philosophy one would want
to screw around with.”
Civilization as played out in some places is the
transplanting of Wilson Pickett’s head to the body of Bach.
There is a certain kind of pretentious “seriousness” that,
when introduced into a living adventure, becomes like the
permanent creases in a folded map, distorting, even obliterating
certain destinations drawn thereon.
A mother told the child on the day the young one was to
first move to the city: “Double check that you are taking all of
the necessary tools with you that are required for a minimal
existence over there: Be sure you have a clock, something to
make notes on, some money, and something to make notes on,
suitable clothing, and something you can make notes on…” And
the offspring interrupted her: “No need to keep mentioning,
‘something to make notes on,’ I’m taking along my mind’s spare
On a world away the people have abandoned the triadic
conception of time, (into the past, present, & future), and
condensed it to a division of two: “The present,” &, “All that
In the crowd a man raised a placard that said: “The
Extroverts & Materialists Will Rule The World,” and there was no
one present to object.
The King’s Director Of Housing & Social Entanglements
presented his most recent findings: “Dangerous people always
come from another country, while the merely stupid can come from
just-around-the-corner.” His Grace thanked him for the report,
then, — sensing the beginnings of a severe headache — retired
to the garden for a private walk.
…..Those in real estate love to say that the three most
important things about a piece of property are: “Location,
location, and location,” an idea they pilfered from the
significance of where, precisely, the seat of consciousness is in
a man’s own nervous system.
…..To challenge his son, one father said to him: “Then think
on it in this manner — Take any word you want to, and you can
look it up in the dictionary.”
One guy nicknamed the area where his upper hormonal
operations met his lower neural ones, as, “The Pertinent Rascal.”
…..After the main dinner was completed, the guests retired to
the library where cordials were served, along with this comment
from the butler: “When hormones are tickled in a ‘certain-kind-
of-way,’ what else can the mind do but smile!?”
….. Criminology Update
Ground floor burglars seems dreary and indifferent, while
second-story jewel thieves appear spry and happy in their work.
….. Geological Bulletin
One man called that area of his intellect that he so
profitably worked, his, “Metaphor Mine.”
A knight said to the Royal Priest as they stood looking down
at the people of the village: “Even among the non-religious,
they still embrace their ‘I’ as a kind of god.”
At a town meeting a man stood and said: “In my personal
view, I don’t think that civilization is all that bad.” And
across the room another man leaped to his feet, pointed an
accusatory finger at the speaker and declared: “Ah HAH!
Civilization paid you to say that!”
A man paused and pondered: “Why, historically amidst most
all metaphysical thought, is it assumed that: ‘From The One
Comes The Many?’ Why could it not be that from the many comes
the many — AND everything else!?”
One man’s philosophy: “Any one who wants to be ‘admired’
should be laughed at.” His brother says: “Pitied,” but since
he’s the larger of the two, “laughed at” prevails.
For the problems &n questions of human existence there are
no correct, or incorrect solutions & answers…until you SAY that
The Way Things Work: Part Six Thousand, Seven Hundred &
Forty Nine (At Least)
The more important are taken to be the concoctions of man’s
mind, the more important they become.
Optics, Explained And Optimized
A boy asked his father: “Since the pupils of our eyes
expand in reaction to our interest in the things seen, why not
likewise with our minds!?”
….. Corollary For Civilized Urbanites
Maps, “too pliable” result in reality, too unreliable.
Those whose individual sense-of-identity is based on that of
some collective’s have in fact — no true sense of individual
Premiss: A sick man’s in no hurry. Now consider that,
“sick” means more than, “ill,” and that “man” represents no less
A Good P. R. Tip For City Personas
If you’re posing for publicity photos, and you’re dumb, look
One man told his mind: “If you can’t be original — keep
quiet.” And it replied: “Hey, don’t tell me — tell your
…..You Political Science majors, and diminisheds might care to
note that this is one of the five prime reasons that many
kingdoms fall apart, especially when several of them are located
in the volatile, multicultural region just north of your neck.
One chap’s current peer into the psychological depths of
homo sapiens: “The ever-shifting interplay in man of contrasting
and conflicting emotions is like an elaborate set of elephant
furniture.” And no viewer wrote in about this one either.
More Cliches Steam Cleaned And Hung Out To Dry
What “goes around,”
Doesn’t “come around,”
Unless you let it get,
You down, first time ’round.
…..To wit — El Exemplior! Some men feel good by pushing
inanimate objects around, some mountains — men.
One of the really-y tricky parts of being a mystical knight
is that no outside voice calls you to do it, nor offers much in
the way of assistance.
…..”Daddy, is that why drugstore warriors are still on the
…..Conclusion To Be Drawn: Creampuffs and over-the-counter
medications look after their own.
The people stopped & gathered round as their local
philosophers began to speak: “A man who lives a life not
continually reflected-on has lived but half a life.” And
someone asked: “But if a man never makes any initial attempt to
reflect on his existence how will he ever know of his error!?”
And the wise one smiled, tugged at his toga and replied: “Ahh —
I see we have a bookmaker in the house.”
The more alert need not be concerned over the possibility of
Bruno being questioned by the Church, or Socrates by the faex
populi, for the fact is that if a man-who-knows, stoops so low as
to respond to the questioning of the Philistines, he has become
one himself anyway.
At an early stage in the Earthly Game men decided that if
reality was going to be, “kickin’ asses and takin’ names”
they’d simply redefine what was reality.
Apparent Success: A Poem
One man moved the
Clock from his bed, but,
Couldn’t remove the
One from his head.
…..There is local time, and universal time, cellular time, and
organism time, components time, and systemic time, hormonal time,
and the neural variety. “Hey honey, the game’s coming on, while
you’re up would you hand me another way of thinking about it.”
A viewer writes: “I believe I’ve figured out why it’s hard
to listen to you, it’s because it’s difficult to either agree or
disagree with most of what you say.”
The king — in a drunken rage of lucidity — said to the
court: “I too am a shill for fate — but at least I admit it!”
The Most Recent Results Of One Man’s Investigation Of The
Elusive Linkage Between Man’s Invented, Verbal World & The
Natural, Silent One
(Summarizes he): “If you place the letter ‘N’ up against
your wall, and turn it just right — (sort of at an angle) —
it’ll look just like a roach! …Or maybe a praying mantis.”
A viewer writes: “Regarding an item you read on your last
show about a man who had the tattoo that read: “A Serious Man Is
A Goddamned Pathetic Man,” and next to it had surgically
implanted a small mirror, well — I’d just like to tell you that
I don’t need a mirror! I have ears! And they’re precisely tuned
to station, WHINE. Thanks anyway, Yours,” etc.
One Man’s Urban Survival Slogan
The humble, honest and honorable will prevail, but no more
often than will the arrogant, deceitful and disreputable.
….. Certain City Health News
A sick man’s a happy man.
You could conceive of several levels of the evolution of
civilization: From the beast to man, from man’s beastly deities
to his human ones, and ultimately — from man to future man.
…A viewer writes: “I cannot, (by-the-way), see metaphor
as being an acceptable substitute for clear understanding, my
older brother says he can’t see metaphor as being an acceptable
substitute for anything, and my younger brother says he can’t see
life as being anything but metaphorical.”
“Adjectives are for children.” “What kind of children?”
“Real young children.” Terminus.