Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 94011-1241
Transcript = None
Key Words =
One man’s mind said to his consciousness: “Now that I
understand what you’re trying to do, and have in fact had a taste
myself of your periodic successes therein, I want to tell you
that I will, with pleasure, submit to your expanded authority,
and only ask that whenever I must so be dispatched that you kill
me as quickly as is possible.” And consciousness replied:
“‘Twas unnecessary for you to ask — since ’tis exactly what I am
attempting to do from each moment to the next.”
A man who tells his “philosophy of life” doesn’t actually
have one, that is, he doesn’t know how to live, so he adopts a
scheme of how to.
…..It is thus that there is nothing at which to scoff
regarding men’s involvement in the trendy and fashionable,
civilized world, in that it is natural for cows to feel more
comfortable and secure in a herd, with the periodic cry of a
cowpoke directing: “Yo!, little doggies — over this way!”
Social Custom On A Stick
Everybody loves a man who “knows what’s going on” — except
of course those who have no idea “what’s going on.”
A History You Never Hear
First, man believed in silence, then he believed in sound,
next he believed in the sun, then he believed in the forests,
then he believed in gods, next he believed in submission, then in
his own abilities and domination of silence, sound, the woods and
the sky, and soon he will once again be looking back to the sun.
At the routine, mental level, there is no substitute for
ignorance! — No, not even knowledge! …Okay, there is one —
originality, but who the hell’s ever gonna go to all that
trouble!? …(Know what I mean.)
One day one man took some of his hormones to the library
with him, and after they’d looked around for awhile, they said to
him: “If you don’t mind me saying so — you people could sure
save yourselves a lot of needless effort with all the separatin’
and classifyin’ cause everything in here is fiction.”
A viewer sends along this question for today’s guest expert:
“Dear Professor Exacto: Does the ratio of muscle-to-fat,
physically have any relationship to the ration of thought-
to-consciousness, mentally? P.S. Please excuse the lack of
sufficient postage, but I didn’t realize the letter weighed too
much until after I had put it in the box. Yours,” etc.
Baby Ken asked Baby Barbie: “Wanna play some ‘Make Believe’
again?” And she said: “Sure — what’ll it be this time, Mama &
Daddy, Doctor & Nurse?…” And he replied: “No, this time let’s
go for the ultimate — let’s play ‘Being Civilized’.”
Even with the assistance of alcohol, religion and drugs,
most men would still find it difficult to “make-it-through-the-
night-of-life” were they not able to believe that they are
individually, in some way, someone, somehow — “special.” **
This in fact is such an integral part of normal mental existence
that men do, from the other corner of their mind, simultaneously
condemn the excesses of pride, vanity and egotism. …And of
course, excel in your condemnation more than the norm, and be
considered just that much more “special.”
In time of stress the dumb will inevitably begin to refer to
themselves physically. The dumb live under constant stress.
Those who don’t “know who they are” be all the time wantin’
to tell you “who they are.”
“Hey chump! — What chu lookin’ at!?!”
…..Hysterical (I’m Sorry) Historical Anomaly
Regardless of what you thought they said — Buddha or
Socrates neither one owned a mirror.
And a viewer has this question regarding a recent subject:
“When you said that the best way to catch fish is to teach them
to say ‘I’ and they they’d simply drown, were you in fact making
reference to what occurs when men’s minds tell them that they are
entities somehow separate from their physical environment?”
Our question for the day is: Would a man with his own
originality be bothered by its lack in others? …Or perhaps
better put: Should such a man be? — Yes, that’s much more
A faithful father asked his son: “Are our individual
‘personalities’ no more than the total sum of our mental
operations?” And the lad replied: “Should I not be the one
asking you that!?” And the elder reflected for a moment and
said: “I don’t know — should you?” And the boy thought on it
for a bit and answered: “I don’t really know — what’d you
think?” And the father said again that he wasn’t sure either.
…..it is the ticking of genes that you hear every time you
look at a clock — or at the past.
…..Generations come, and generations go, but generations
neither come, nor go — just man’s perceptions thereof.
We interrupt to bring you this announcement: Everyone has
two minds: The mind, and the talking mind. …Okay: Everyone
potentially has two minds. Now back to regular programming:
“Killer Roller Derby From Hell And Back Again,” brought to you
by The Wooden Horsie Intellectual & Charitable Trust. ** And a
viewer corresponds: “Whenever I hear such as this, I do so wish
that you’d let me go back to believing in grand conspiracies.”
— Ohhhh, alright! — But just this once.
One guy has his own simple, all-inclusive approach (states
he): “The dumb are whoever I say is dumb!” …Friends, we could
be witnesses to the beginning of a whole new religion…or
political party…or social movement (or something).
The Matter Of Fame, Fricasseed
If you’re not pissed about something, it’s hard to draw
attention to yourself.
Timid wolves will follow an aggressive one, sheep will submit
to a shepherd, and weak genes will ride the wake of healthy ones —
the question now is: To what expansive intellectual force will
your mind give chase? ** This “private” query is balanced by
man’s public institutions assuring him that no such decision and
subsequent effort is in fact necessary for an adequate life.
To certain singularly sharpened eyes, objects are vague, and
only actions, clear and distinct. ** “Our guest optometrist for
the day is Dr. Edward Nipples who will be speaking on the
subject: ‘How To Stare’. Now here’s Dr. Nipples.”
The weak of mind like to reminisce — the dead like to talk
about how good things used to be!
…..And a boy asked his dad: “Is there just some simple ‘rule-
of-thumb’ I could use to get through all this?” And his pa pa
replied: “Yes, just do this: Take whatever it is that ordinary
people say are the attitudes and efforts necessary to live an
acceptable life, and to yourself — silently, and with no rancor
allowed — say: ‘Fuck it!’
— You see — that is how good things used to be
— Before the polarization into — me & thee.”
** …And a father-fish-viewer nudged his young son and said:
“Huh!? — What’d I tell you!?”
…..Antiquarian Aquatic Addendum
The original pattern for “me & thee” was the mental picture
of an “in-here” and an “out there” — the cortical conception-of
& division-into an I and a Not-I. …Bye.
The Human Heartbeat On The Half-Shell
Did not alcohol and drugs have their equitable “hang-over”
costs, men would stay forever drunk and high; were not similar
circumstances prevailing in the worlds of religion & education,
ordinary minds might actually — get somewhere. Mr. Daniels said
to Mr. Dickle: “Don’t hold your breath, old dear.”
That Is: The Limitations-Of,
Trying to Figure Out What Life Is About Using Only Your
The left foot believes the primary impediment to progress is
the right foot.
A man stood before the planet’s largest collection of books,
manuscripts, and research, and said to himself: “All of this! —
All of this, and it’s all about nothing.” And his mind replied:
“Ah yes — but all about the most important ‘nothing’ imaginable
From The Ballrooms Of City Romance: A Definition Done To A “T”
Apologize: What partners do between dances.
The best part of one man’s awareness told the everyday part
of his thinking: “It’s not that I know that specific things that
you know are wrong, it’s that I know that everything that you
know is wrong.”
…..One of the unscheduled reasons that the transcendental
experiences seem so mystical and complex is because they are so
unprecedentedly plain and direct. …That is, unprecedentedly
so in your adult lifetime.
After studying on some of the matters we’ve been discussing
around here, one man spat out: “Boy! — isn’t that just how
things go! — We end up asking the birds if they, or the cats
should be in charge!”
In his on-going effort to rearrange and restructure the
workings of his own mind, one man’s “Approach For The Month”
currently is: “Danger does not frighten a dead man.” …And his
mind is not at all sure it understands this…and even if it
does, it’s not sure it likes it.
The Math Of Culture On A Bun
The public side: Talent plus anger equals art; the personal
side: Originality plus cold-blood produces creative perception.
All of man’s known myths, legends, fables, tales and
allegories, are for those who forgot the original one.
When the contracted, ass-delivery-service failed to come
through, the children at the party decided to play another game:
“Pin The Answer On The Question,” and one little nipper got it
going by asking the others: “What is it that actually holds
civilization together?” And one girl shouted: “Rules of law!”
Only to be followed by a kid proclaiming: “Nationalistic
fidelity!” And another lad yelled out: “Respect for personal
property!” And simultaneously two kids cried: “The concept of
romantic love & monogamy!” And still another youngster screamed:
“Double entry bookkeeping!” But the boy who had begun it all
shooshed them all into silence, and offered up his own “correct”
answer to the query he’d proposed: “No, my friends and fellow
party-goers — good guesses, one and all, but it strikes me that
the one, essential, obligatory prerequisite to civilization is
that peculiar sort of seriousness unique to our parents and other
adults.” …And I’ve got to tell you that this little
observation just about put an end to their little party. …And,
oh yeah — I’ve just got to ask you: Did you actually hear this
to be a story about children and a party, or perhaps about
certain functions within one’s own mind?!?
In the city’s public forum — a man with nothing to prove
can prove nothing to those hanging about. Thus are our cities
well protected even without physical fortifications.
Justice Fully Revealed Again At No More Cost Than An Afternoon
Though would-be mystics would seem to be, among all men, the
most self-absorbed, those truly of the experience would be the
…..And Moses turned to Zarathustra & said: “I don’t give a
damn how good she looks, I ain’t paying no fifty bucks for a
cheap bottle of champaign.” You see, friends & sports fans —
even in the arena of truth & beauty, inflation has taken its
…..And perhaps of some interest to you half-time snackers in
the audience, this item regarding the schematic game-plays still
in common use in the two major mortal leagues of hormones and
neurons: The insights of a man with a stomach full of chili
differ from those of a man on a fast. (Additional note: There
are those who’ve recognized this — they just don’t know what to
make of it — …cause it…it…well, cause it seems so, well
— obvious and all.)
The original inspiration for pork barrelin”, boon dogglin”,
and all other forms of “busy work” was the everyday, ordinary
operations of the human mind.
Criminal Procedure In A Creamy White Sauce
To a more perceptive man, his initial, normal mental life is
like a “Probable Cause Hearing” to determine if he will remain in
And Now, Mr. Once-And-For-All Says He Wants To Clear Up “One
Certain Matter” — (Yes, You Got It) – “Once And For All”:
The actual distinction between the mind and the body is as
follows: The mind believes there is one — and the body knows
Sometimes this one guy would slip up behind his normal
thinking, and pull down its pants while laughing and singing this
“Pick on the weak,
Pick on the strong,
Live it up now —
You won’t be here long.”
…..Who knows for sure whether he’s correct or not!? — But
who’s going to be around latter to try and collect if he’s not!?
A viewer writes to say: “If I let you take all the
‘mystery’ out of life — what fun will I have left!?” …And if
you’re ordinary — his suspicion is correct — none (I fear). —
But, what the hell! — The rest of us can “cheer up” eh what!?
** And several viewers look at one another and say: “Boy!, are
we glad we ain’t mere ‘viewers’!”
…..Definition Time Again
Neural Transmitters: The world’s first tv screen.
…”Quick Leroy — hand me that shoe!”
The Human Mind As-Is, Compared To How It Could Be, As Contained
In A Travel Analogy:
It is like the Queen Of England flying tourist.
While they awaited the pool table to cool down, one kid
asked his partner: “What would you have if you removed the truly
unknown from the imagined unknown?” And his pard brushed some
chalk dust from his vest and mused in reply: “Education with no
takers!?…Art with no critics!?…Religion sans real
estate!?…” And a rack-boy passing by with a large pitcher of
draft muttered: “How’s about just — civilization minus its
civility!?” …And some keen-eyed hormones at an adjoining
table announced: “Eight ball in the neural corner pocket.”
After which, they all went home for the night.
Definition A La Carte
Metagnostic Perception: A thinking fish with no conception
of a boundary to the water.
As the dutiful, did he say beautiful, son was headed out the
door in search of the coldest beer possible, his father reminded
him: “There is no such thing as ‘partial’ understanding.” — And
off he went.
Man’s ordinary thinking will never comprehend what life is
about for the same reason that kids never want recess to end.