Audio = Stream from the bar; download from the dots
06/23/1993
Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93075 -1144
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The News
Unlike those on the physical prowl – whose intentions are quite obvious –
Men-on-a-mission must EXPLAIN TO YOU what they are up to.
* Yes, it’s – “Think about it time.” * 93075-11
As told in the legends of this other universe:
One creature finally tracked down the god who created all of their news and told him that if he didn’t “do better” he was not going to purchase any of the products advertised on his show. 93075-12
A child asked his father:
“What would happen to life if everyone could be serious who wanted to be EXCEPT FOR Those who do so just to cover up their idiocy?” 93075-13
At one time a man’s best friend was either his stomach, his sex organs, or his mind
– But now you must add to the list, — the collective.
Standing alone, a single cow can appear – dumpy,
But placed in a herd — fashionable and spiffy. 93075-14
Sitting, one day — feeling-of, and examining his life,
This one man suddenly went: “Ouch! — Genes are too easily bruised and impressed.” 93075-15
What cities actually said to the people entering them, In flight from their savage past & paradise, was: “Welcome — welcome to your NEW home.” 93075-16
Alchemy Update;
Believe it or not, but real thinkers really CAN produce “something-from-nothing!” —
They have to! —
What do you think real thinking IS!? 93075-17
To help ease his fears, one man sent himself a note that unequivocally stated:
“I am NOT a cult” 93075-18
And to Help check on his progress, this one man had himself hooked up to a. ” Weenie Meter”. 93075-19
Well it’s comparisons time, comparisons time.
Put down that remote – it’s comparisons time:
The local is to the universal as the simple is to the complex,
as the city is to nakedness,
as fun is to work,
as thinking is to merely existing. 93075-20
In the struggle between life and mortals
The former’s ammunition is not death, but – change!
And a man thought : “Change?!?! — Yuk! – I’d rather DIE first!” 93075-21
There is one thing safe to assume,
And that is that human minds will “assume things” —
And that half of them will be things that the other half doesn’t assume. 93075-22
Physics – Update:
Reindeer know of no chaos but then again — they can’t THINK.
A viewer sits and says to himself: “Can you actually ‘go. ahead ‘ withOUT thinking? ….” And the answer: Perhaps not the individual elk, but certainly, the herd.
— And a real viewer — that is, a thinking viewer — would not find this satisfactory.
93075-23
Men must believe that they’re on an “extraordinary journey” – buses KNOW where they’re headed.
— Thus does the city provide “public transportation.“
And a man hesitates for a moment:
“Hey-y-y…… I always suspected I’as being taken for a ride!”
Paving Contractor’s Codicil:
Where but in your highly urbanized and sophisticated areas can,
“Suspicion-of-the-obvious” be utilized as perfectly acceptable cover for blatant inanity!?
93075-24
In his address, the speaker told the crowd:
“The human brain is simply a physical organ, no different than the liver, or lungs.”,
And all of the educated in the audience replied:
“Thats patently untrue, but if it were, it sure would be interesting,
and certainly would explain a lot.”
* ”Hey”, thought a man, “Who the hell wants a lot explained!?” * 93075-25
On our last broadcast it was reported that:
“The only variety that is true variety is that which is original.”
And now it can be added that you cannot find the, “original” any where outside of yourself.
Stay tuned, as we will bring you any further developments in this story as they occur.
93075-26
One man’s photographic advice: “Never pose with your ancestors.”
93075-27
Some Life & Show Biz Buzz:
If you don’t have a lot of talent it can·sure help to act real friendly.
93075-28
The answers to your current two main questions are: Yes, and, yes.
93075-29
In a fit of attempted freedom and self-reliance,
One man threw away his glasses,
his hearing aid,
his band aides,
and his brain aid
– then suddenly realized! —
“I don’t HAVE a ‘brain aid’!” 93075-30
An item from the local Tourist Directory:
You’ll note that all bad poetry and country & western songs are
written to hormones! — NOT neurons.
…(If this is immediately obvious to you — you’re on the right tour!)
93075-31
From our Definitions Desk:
A Politician: One hoping he’s on the way to becomlng an institution.
93075-32
One man’s personal, “what-ever”:
“I understand much of what people say,
And I understand much of what is said to me,
But that which I understand, I never say to other people.”·
93075 – 33
A rat said to a zebra :
“Who , but man –
By being pissed-on –
Can feel singled out for important recognition!?
A lad asked his dad :
“If the truth were known —
Do you think maybe plants and animals, and rocks are silently, ‘having-at-us’!?”
…(And the truth was, that the old man didn’t even want to THINK about it.)
93075-34
Mere attention given to a problem can sometimes be its cure –
It can, at other times, become part of the problem.
93075-35
And now for some , “News News”:
Many of the things that are reported happening in the world Don’t actually happen until they’re reported .
That’s right!, ordinary viewers –
You sure the hell don ‘t wanna think about THAT one!
93075-36
One man, new to sophisticated city life,
Studied the situation for a while,then asked:
“How do you get to be a famous person’s brother?”
93075-37
A “Remembering Tip”:
Remember : The sarcastic, and smart-assed know EVERY thing.
And — A Thermostatic Reminder :
“Cold comfort” is just the same as warm comfort!:
…. for those who NEED comfort .
93075-38
It is the routinely mindful who most like to hear OF the “mindless boogie”.
….(I’m sure that with you regular viewers there’s no need for me to Label this as something like:
The “Go Figure” Department — right !?) 93075-39
How Life Goes, {As Per SOME Unrecognized Views):
Chimps wanna be men,
And men wanna be chimps in nice suits….
with nice haircuts…
in nice cars with beautiful blondes beside them
…{Come on! — you said I didn’t have to identify stories like this as a,
“Go Figure”, or a, Surprise!, Surprise!” feature.)
93075-40
Now for another: “Out Behind The Barn — Not Cause For Alarm” segment of the show:
One kid concluded:
“Ordinary thinking must be to the individual variety ‘Bout the same as a hand-job is to screwin’.”
93075-41
And a “no-longer-a-kid” man rubbd his chin and thought :
“After sex, things seem so clear, direct and simple! –
Why can’t I get my MIND to have a climax!?”………….
93075-42
Only a self-made thinker can now properly, UN-civilize himself.
93075-43
The battle is not won by either the forces of good, or evil, or of truth or error.
but by the battle itself.
The third, ghost-partner in every binary dance, leads — no matter what the other two believe.
93075-44
And one man thought:
“Isn’t it neat the way things work out now that I see how things work out.”
93075-45
One city told the people: “Hey — have. fun on your own time.”
And the people replied: “But we don’t have any time of our own.”
And the city said: “Hey – what’d ya want from me!? — I’m just trying to run a city!”
93075-46
While it could be said that man’s collective progress is marked by
an increase in the complexity of language,
It could further be noted that an individual’s might come about via a simplifying of thinking.
93075-47
A man told his son:
“0nly the weak will take, ‘No’ for an answer.”
And his uncle injected: “0nly the ordinary will take ANYTHING for an ‘answer’.”
93075-48
Even the most UN-sociable hermit has family working for the city — his mind.
And the Monument To Bureaucracy inquired of the people:
“Would you all like to join me in singing:’ You Can’t Get away – You’ll Never Get Away.’?!” ,
And although, (truth be known), some did not — they all DID!
93075-49
From any ordinary view, probably one of the more unexpected, if not disturbing aspects of being a “big boy or girl” AND a “real thinker”
Would be that you then have no where to “lay off” any responsibility! –
– Including – you-know-where-and-who.
93075-50
In the city you live and die by your ratings,
your wardrobe,
your haircut,
and your ability to smile pleasantly,
as a herd of cows stampede across your foot.
93075-51
Time for another fine item from our Definitions Desk:
Man: The world’s ONLY unfinished ‘fait accompli’.
Meanwhile, in another reality: Some men, out of the city on a picnic,
Took a fresh look at themselves and concluded:
“If man is truly a, ‘done deed ‘ – then some of us aren’t quite ‘done’ yet.”
93075-52
And one man looked over toward the city and said:
“You call THAT entertainment!?”
93075-53
If you have an ordinary mind — you need help,
Hence, the herd –
Thus, the collective.
According to one far away legend, One man once muttered:
“Well — if I’m gonna ‘stupid to death’ at least I’m gonna do it in private!”
93075-54
One man looked over toward the city and said:
“You call THAT, entertainment!?”
And his mind said:
“You tell’em, Champ!”
93075-55
In the middle of a most unusual physical illness one man damn near had an original thought –
— But he recovered and got over it.
93075-56
A Wrap-Up Of Several Recent Items:
First: Unlike work, the point of fun is that there IS NO point.
Second:The simplistic equals work, the complex, fun.
Then: You almost have to work at being dense.
And Now: If your thinking is not fun then it is not sufficiently complex to BE real thinking.
93075-57
Why Things Can’t BE – SOME Ways:
If the herd,”understood itself” – it’d disintegrate.
93075-58
The actual odds of being able to ever, “think independently” are:
Everything-to-one!
— And they’re not even that!– unless YOU’RE the “one”.
93075-59
One man confides that he seems engaged in a running, alternating process of
Thinking-of-his-‘thinking as being either ,”stunning”, OR,”stunningly stupid”.
BUT: All sane sheep know PRECISELY what all sane sheep should know.
* So, There! — Booger Bear. *
And the day came when the thinker found two roads diverged in the woods, and said he: “Both of them, shall I take – and all the while, on the lookout for more.”
93074-60
And finally,
One fellow,
As he became relentlessly better-&-better at what he was doing intellectually,
Would say to his minds as he would leave the house each morning:
“I’ll be thinking of you! – all-l-l the way to fun.”
93075-61