Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93046 -1115
Transcript = None
Key Words =
An idiot doesn’t know anything- —
Nether does an ordinary, educated man,
But there is a difference.
(Note: This news story is followed by a string of alternating question marks and
In this one reality —
Without the use of drugs you couldn’t even tell if you were IN the reality;
As soon as you begin to think, around these parts,
You’re given your own personal drug: The ability to think.
Or — lose-it,
Or get arrested for just having-it impotently IN your possession. *
Once men began to realize how little they knew — they started writing it down.
Corollary (in the apparent Math Allegory Mode):
The “numbers system” wouldn’t work’till man came up with the idea of zero — of “nothingness.”
Once men began to realize how little they knew — they started writing it all down. ….(Better, huh?!)
Every night as his bio-systems would begin to run down,
This one man would say: “It’s eleven o’clock! — Do you know where your brains are?!”
And then he’d roll on the floor and roar with laughter:
“Hell! — I didn’t even know where they were this morning,
When I got up!”
All plagiarists are intellectually fighting a rear-guard action.
..(And for all of you late-arrivers,
We’ve already well established that
All ordinary, partisan-based thinking is some form of plagiarism.)
And now for that portion of the program we call the “School of The Air:
In his attempt to participate in what he perceived to be the
“Interconnectedness of ALL operations with IN a closed system,”
One man, who wouldn’t eat roughage, began to grease his toilet bowl.
All Philosophy Freshmen who understand this,
Can go on to Mr. Cannon’s Woodshop Class — now.
According to the creation myth on this one world,
Immediately after the first two creatures, Bert and Brenda, began to talk,
The first thing they said was: “What in the hell are we talking about?”
An ordinary man with “something to prove” is a double-edged sword
In that he can prove nothing — and — everything.
In place of our, “Viewer’s Mail Bag” segment this evening
We’ll having another, “900-Number, Viewer Call-In Poll”;
Tonight’s question is: In items like the one just read, that said:
“An ordinary man with ‘something to prove’….”, etc.,
Would you prefer to leave them using the word “man” in such contexts,
Would you be happier if we used instead, the term “ordinary MIND”?!
P.S. Ohh: Which EVER way you want to answer,
This can also constitute yet another one of those: “Tests You Can Administer to Yourself at Home.”
As a child,
One man dreamed that he would someday go on an “immense journey” —
But once he got grown, he just settled for an immense “tiredness.”
Another Glimpse at The Hierarchy Game:
The universal slaps life around;
Life slaps local conditions around;
Local conditions slap the local creatures around,
And a real thinker slaps ’em ALL around — and they secretly just LOVE-E-E it!
Living is an experience — talking about it, an “act.”
Note from our, Musicology Desk:
Even though the older, less sophisticated relatives in man’s nervous system
Still want to sing songs with lyrics about illness,
death & despair:
The weird thing is,
They won’t hesitate to put them to up-beat dance rhythms.
That IS correct! — the “secret word” for the day IS: “Weird Thing.”
…That along with: “Man,” and “Mind,” and “Charity,” and a few others that have slipped my slopes.
Hormones KNOW when “things are going well” –
Neurons can only second-guess, and babble about it.
Things finally reached such a pitch with one man
That he began privately asking of himself: “Who you gonna listen to?!”
Many who can’t think good go into the charity biz.
One man thought: “Hey, it’s a dirty job, but I’M not gonna do it!”
Precept: The unexpected, and nonsequential have NO place in “good works.”
— (I’m just telling you what local reality TOLD me to tell you.)
Precept-On-Steroids: When you’re KING of your own territories you can acceptably
Kill all messengers who bring you “bad news” — Hey! — that’s the way it is!
Men have fun —fun has real thinkers.
There are two things about a man who can only talk about himself;
One is: That he doesn’t have anything to talk about,
And two is: That he REALLY doesn’t have anything to talk about.
Some of you alert viewers may recognize that this story relates back to one the team
Was covering for you last week,
Wherein ’twas noted that if NON “hot-shit” people didn’t THINK they were “hot-shit,”
Why they wouldn’t even be the tepid shits they are now.
And also remember: “Alertness” ONLY counts in horseshoes, and” Blindfold-Gran-Prix racing.”
As long as you will intellectually wrestle with local conditions,
The match is fixed —
You’re goin’ down for the fall,
And life wins as always.
That reminds me, Bobbie Joe,
I have a little quiz for our news-hounds out there:
Just how DUMB-B-B do you HAVE to be
To keep betting on a game you KNOW-W-W is rigged.
Ha ha, folks — it’s just a little joke — you don’t really have to answer.
And now for some City Transportation news from Doug (over at his desk) — Doug:
Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin’,
Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin’,
Just a ‘keep on a’rollin…
Now on to the International News Scene:
When a real thinker encounters some new folly and stupidity,
His first step should be to quickly examine himself — then move on to the matter at hand.
Okay, a follow-up for those who may have thought they didn’t “get it” the first-time round:
“Living life is an ‘experience’ — talking about ‘living it’ is an act.”
(Now! — as long as we’re back here, let us press forward):
While the actual “living-of-life” remains THE “experience,”
The independent THINKING about life-being-lived is an “art” — nay — THE art.
Many silly people move to foreign countries where they’ll immediately
seem more serious.
Wimps who live in a sumo neighborhood find making sport of academic areas a safe past-time.
History, history! – How Many Times Have I TOLD You About That!
So long as men consider themselves creatures of their environment,
And to some ears the word merde sounds better than “shit,”
Mayflower will not go broke.
One man re-named himself “By God,”
So that each morning — (as was his wont) —
When — (immediately after awakening) — he would go and look at himself
In the mirror he could say: “Well, by god….”
Proverbs Unduly Aroused:
Better off is he who understands humility
Than he who pretends to attempt to try and practice it.
Someone go throw a bucket of cold water in Dante’s face.
After considering the consequences of becoming employed in life’s normal neural affairs,
A man said to himself: “You can’t be fired,
If you’ve never been hired.”
At LEAST if a real thinker ever had to stand in The Welfare Line
He wouldn’t have to jockey for position with anyone but himself.
“You see, Doctor Crockter, (pardon me while I clear my throat
There, that’s better) —
You see, Doctor,
If you are NATURALLY and secretively a ‘hermit,’ why it doesn’t count against you at all.”
Even a man with a pea brain,
Can find a woman with okra hair, and
Mix up SOME kind of salad.
While there are physically, opposite sexes,
All thinking attracts other thinking, just as all electric fields are magnetic;
But ordinary minds tend to zero-in on the specific content of thoughts,
And wrangle over the propriety of this-or-that cargo in the hull,
While missing the pleasures possible in a study of shipping.
As a reward for giving a genie directions to an all-night market,
One man was given his choice:
Either be dumb and die now or,
Be dumb and die later.
…(He asked if he could have “extra time” to think about it.)
Ordinary minds want to be encouraged — unfettered ones want to be entertained.
If what you think about a subject,
At times brings a kind of hostile glee towards those who think to the contrary,
Then do think on it some more.
If another is not harming you physically
Then there is no cause for scorn to him personally;
Any humor possible and profitable arises naturally from the inherent silliness of
Men “thinking-about-being-alive” — and no more.
Although they may be yet again, on the air, playing your very least “favorite song,”
Who but an unreconstructed blister brain would, in retaliation, attack the boom box.
Civilization is relentless in its insistence that almost all writings,
And utterances made at public gatherings,
Contain SOME inspirational comment.
Yes, Duffy, how true —
Which I’ll just bet
Is why some people enjoy wars more than they do civic, public spectacles.
But now on to some fashion news.
Although people do not ordinary want to think for themselves
They have even LESS interest in hearing about how they might be ABLE to.
Yes, Dickerson — info like this is ALWAYS fashionable.
Stepping back into our, “Electronic Classroom,”
We move over to our Social Sciences Desk for this unsociable item:
Lit. His. In A Glass of Piss:
Once men fully realized just how annoying and totally useless was fiction,
They moved on almost immediately to inventing biographies.
To escape — you’ve gotta have a “plan”!
And then of course –
You’ve gotta get away from the plan.
See — ordinary prisoners don’t understand the,
“And then of course” part of the plan.
As long as dancers never realize the necessity and futility of
Conjunctions, constants and exceptions,
The ballroom floor will never lack for mortal feets stuck there to — Sue.
Local conditions in this one place
Had one of its cities give each new birth a card with these “Rules for Living”:
Always heed the serious, and
Eat lots of roughage.
Hat size has nothing to do with brain size,
Any more than does education, exercise, wealth, fame, or increased social position,
Or any other environmental condition you and Professor Anderson might think of.
And now from our, “Don’t Sweat It When You Can Just as Well FRET It” desk:
Life is arranged so that EVERY body has SOME body;
And those who don’t have any “any BODY” always have some THING!
And those who don’t have anything — have plenty to worry about.
* Just, “being alive” can make you feel a WHOLE LOT better about the WHOLE thing! *
(And, by-the-by, to you ole “doubters” out there,
The proof of this is in the fact that you DON’T have to “stand in line” to DIE!)
And now — “Simile Time from Hell”:
A man’s emotions are like a pilot light
To his total, nervous system furnace,
And his mind is like a gas meter that keeps thinking:
“I wish they’d send some water, or electricity, or something new, down the line here.”
93046 4 2
If you believe in governments you’ll believe in gods,
And if you’ll believe in gods you’ll believe in the arts,
And if you believe in the arts, you’ll believe that there is good and bad art,
And if you can progress along this far, you can possibly get a job with a major daily as a critic.
SEE!! — that’s where a whole BUNCH of this kinda shit can LEAD!!!
The Backyard Scenery in This Solar System:
As some kids were attempting to jump out of a tree, they sang this little song:
An ordinary man is a
He could be your Pa Pa;
An ordinary man is a
He IS your own Pa Pa.
And as they awaited someone’s father to come along and show them how to leap from the limbs, They sat and discussed the relative merits of rhymed vs UN-rhymed verse,
And Elliot’s potential place in the history of forestry.
Who lived on a farm with his hormones,
After he got more in sync with their seasonal and periodic flow,
Let his pigs take over keeping track of the time.
Fact: Equivalency cannot define itself;
Thus can no words audible in a three-dimensional universe explain
Fact: Get this straight, Gate-face.
Two things about a man with a “flat tire”:
He can feel miffed —
And he can experience irony.
Moral: Everyone’s ridin’ on “may-pops” — and don’t you forget it!’
At times, one man’s mind made funny sounds, like: “Spurt! — spurt! — spurt!”
Self-referral: The sure sign of a dead man.
One man told himself: “Hey, take a break.”
There’s a secret place where you can stick your own finger in your own nervous system.
Humility: A ‘sissy’s substitute for an Introduction.
It’s hard to pin a happy mind down —
In the city, most mental butterflies want to be dead butterflies.
Ordinary minds believe that some talk is intrinsically more important than others —
A more independent thinker KNOWS this to be untrue, but further knows that it COULD be.
According to legend,
If just as you’re dying,
You can make up a brand new, never-before-heard curse,
You’ll get a little something “extra.”