Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93022 -1091
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The News
“Hi there.”
***
Under ordinary conditions, men say that words have a
distinct significance based on their specificity; they say this
in hopes that it might come true.
***
…and Kyroot noted: A certain man said: “Boy, am I
pissed!” Then asked: “And just what is it you have to be pissed
about?” And replied: “Being a ‘certain’ man.”
***
Everybody knows what’s coming next.
…..and Kyroot added: Even in the dark, one way to tell the
ordinary is that they pretend they don’t.
***
And while never having to interrupt normal broadcasting
(noted Kyroot), life brings you public service announcements.
***
…and Kyroot picked back up again: One purpose of human
institutions is to keep humans from immediately realizing that
they do know what’s coming next.
***
…this short item from Kyroot: When questioned the doctor
said: “In healing people we have two main jokes — I mean,
jobs…”
***
…and this useful tip from Kyroot: Information to help you
repair your washer & dryer, or to unstop an unruly drain: When
things were slow at home, one guy’d sit around and start making
insulting comments until he came across one that he took
personally!
***
…and Kyroot noted: A man (acting as his own task-master
— which for some is the only way to fly) said: “Self-
discipline that’s not fun is no fun.”
***
…and Kyroot told about: The rebel’s motto that never
ends: If you get up at five-thirty, why not get up at five?!ù
This is of course, coordinated and supported by the sister
slogan: If you sleep ’til six, why not sleep ’til six-thirty?!ù
* Everyone has “back-up singers,”ù but few people even realize
they’re in the studio. *
***
Oh! — Speaking of matters aeronautical: One local reality,
in a last-ditch effort to keep some form of religion aloft and
alive, told the creatures that now the only “sin” was in not
taking life seriously enough!
***
During their daily conversation one ole man told the kid:
“If you want a wider grasp on the distinction between secondary
influence, and primary power then consider this: In a political
campaign, when a candidate presents his ideas and proposals, is
he trying to make-a-point, or get-a-vote?”
***
Oh! — and speaking of still other things what whiz & sail
in the sky: At noon, standing high atop the tallest soapbox in
speaker’s park, the man raised his arms and voice and
theatrically declared: “We all-l-l play our part in the Great
Human Drama!” And as he skipped and frolicked away one man
shouted back over his silly shoulder: “Not I!”
***
…and Kyroot expanded on a previous point: A pie is not a
pie until it’s cut — and the local does not exist until the
universal is sliced.
…..and Kyroot expanded the expansion: A pie is not a pie
until it’s cut — and the universal is not the universal until it
is sliced — then it is the local — and then it is the universal
no more…but in your dreams. * Related Definition Update: A
true neural artist: One who can put together a puzzle that
others just imagine exists; and one who can construct a new model
others don’t even know about.
***
One thing about riding the bus is that you never have to
tell anyone: “Hey! — save me a seat.” In secondary reality,
the collective never throws anyone off the bus — except when you
die — …which is kinda what that is, after all.
***
There is no explaining the make up of one’s hormones, and
even less that “no,” the constitution of their thinking. …(And
Kyroot kindly added: Anyone overly distraught by this may
reverse it and be doubly distraught.)
…..then pretending to be carried away by the exhilaration of
the moment, Kyroot went on: There is no explaining the “nature
of man” except by those who could do so — and if they did do so
they’d then understand why there’s generally no “doing so” —
since no one can hear it if it’s actually did — I mean, done.
…..Whenever this one man’s mind would have anything
approaching an original thought, he’d say to it: “You’re almost
back in my will.”
…..and a man said to himself: “God!, you make me laugh!”,
then replied: “well it’s about time.”
***
A correspondent writes: “Surely the revolution was the
original model for the concept of: The Magnificent Nothing.”
***
To set up and activate his own mental, “nuclear-chain-
reaction,” one man decided he should have one personal thought
about every single word in his dictionary. …(He says that even
though he thought of it first, feel free to try it yourself.)
Query: What can be less costly than writing a check you know
will never be cashed. …(Local reality looks on such mental
matters as the “height” of energy-frugality!…[Not to mention
that it helps it keep its super-cushy job! — No-o-o!, not at
all!]
***
Then Kyroot provided a rhyme to help reveal how the
relatively simple minds of the collective can keep city
civilization moving in ever more complex directions:
Men with small brains
Will go to great pains.
***
There is a unique & fascinating dance within man, and the
ballroom floor is his brain stem. “This is station WHOR
providing tonight’s music — broadcasting on both your electrical
and chemical dials; and thanks to our secret and miraculous
sponsorship, you can never quite tell where we’re coming from, or
remember how you got your radio, or figure out why your mother
told you to turn us off at ten and go to bed.” Those who can
force the dance within, to merge with the one without, never have
to go to sleep.
***
A man stopped a rebel and said: “You know what I think? —
I think the purpose of this revolution-thing is just to fuck
around with your nervous system.” He looked to the right, then
looked to the left, and added: “Course I also think that’s about
the purpose of life itself.”
***
…and Kyroot (that sly ole historian) said: “Great
Literature” is what they used to call, “waiting on the next bus.”
***
…and Kyroot offered you this reminder: In meaningful
areas, five words can say it all — (as in): The collective is a
shill.
***
Two city guys were sitting on a bench talking, and the first
one said: “The mind is like a potentially, free-flying
dirigible, temporarily tethered to parochial hormones and
physical considerations.”; and his pal dropped his head into his
hands and moaned: “Yes, and I sometimes feel as though mine is
the Hindernberg, and I’m in New Jersey, and it’s 1937 all over
again.” From a certain unorthodox view, you could conclude that
life ordinarily offers everyone the intellectual “flight-
alternative” of either: “Crash & Burn,” or, “Sit On The Runway &
Burn.” As far as a rebel traveler might fit into this
conversation, we’d just have to say that he’d still have ’em
looking-for-his-luggage even though we all know he brought none
along. “Crash & Burn — Ya’ll!”
***
A kid looked out his bedroom window and thought: “What
would happen if you had just one bus filled with thinking people
who didn’t take the ride seriously?!” (The kid smiled as he
thought and looked out the bedroom window.)
***
One guy says: “They stole the whole idea of science from
me!”
…..Item: When local reality would notice that the cats were
about to come outside, it’d make the rain stop. …(And that guy
says: “See!, that’s what they get for stealing the idea of
science from me! — they get it all wrong.”
***
An observer observes: “Ordinary people seem to enjoy their
hobbies more if they claim they are of humanity-wide
significance.”
***
One day a rebel psychiatrist ( a little more Kyrootian “Ha-
ha-stuff”) thought: “As regards what ordinary men call ‘guilt’
— a revolutionist doesn’t so much want to be forgiven as he does
not to be so stupid.” …(The night-shift guard at the front
desk hollered out: “Hey, somebody go wake up Freud and Moses and
tell ’em to go back to sleep.”)
***
“Humph!”, groused the cook, “the educated continue to try
and pass off their excuses as ‘explanations’!”; “There, there,”
soothed the cashier, “they deserve some reward for being
educated.” …(“Still — Humph!”, groused the cook.)
***
And Kyroot presented: “The Unappreciated Progression”:
Anyone who criticizes life is normal; anyone who criticizes life
is wrong; anyone who criticizes life is a fool; anyone who
criticizes life is normal.
***
In the fueling of the secondary machinery: Man is the fat
he throws in the fire.
***
At a recent rebel public convention and self-help seminar
(mein gott! — is there no end to Kyroot’s humor!), a man in the
audience stood and said: “The more I grapple with this neural-
revolution-thing, and the attempt to think always anew, the more
it strikes me as like trying not to ever eat on an empty
stomach.”
***
One modern city-iet’s mind made this observation: “The
great thing about letting someone else entertain you
intellectually is that you don’t have to entertain yourself.”
But the better part of his brain unexpectedly muttered: “You
call that entertainment?!”
***
To try and save the kid from fruitless fretting over why
things in the secondary world don’t work more efficiently —
(when at all) — one ole man tried to explain just how that
singular realm operated by telling him: “Economics, for
instance is a totally concocted affair invented for the sole
purpose of studying Economics.”
***
A certain man has written a new adventure book — but all
the action takes place in his head; …he doesn’t know what to
call it; …and he doesn’t know where to sell it; …and people
don’t know whether they want to read it or not.
***
A man wrote to the Advice Doctor: “My brain seems to
operate at a different speed as to what my mind wants it to.”; he
then wrote himself back and said: “What?!!”
***
…and Kyroot drew your attention to this: The singular
grace and beauty of the world of words is that it had a specific
beginning — but now, no end.
***
In the everyday secondary world of ideas, when you don’t
know what to do, what you do is — attack other men’s everyday
ideas. A kid (not so much of a kid as he once was), looked at
this, then said: “The mind we’re given when we’re born is like a
Ferrari wrapped up to resemble a Volkswagon beetle; they’ll both
crank up and run — but, Jeeze! — give yourself a break!”
…..A viewer writes: “What would happen if you said what you’re
trying to say just plain and direct, without any metaphors, or
allegories and little stories?” …(And the correspondent
suddenly thought in response to this own question: “Jeeze! — I
better give myself a break!”)
***
…then Kyroot rapped you on the knee with his cute little
rubber hammer, set your cute little, backless paper robe on fire,
and had the front desk prepare your cute little outrageous bill,
then concluded your examination with this note: When hormones
start to slide down hill, they try to take thoughts along with
them.
***
To try and put his own problems in more of a musical
context, one man decided that henceforth he’d consider all of his
personal questions to be, “country & western,” and possible
responses, “operatic.” (After we had all gone, under his breath
he said to all of his own personal problems: “Take that!”)
***
One guy’s advice to his best friend (who turned out to be
himself, and one other person): Have a spare hobby in reserve.
Kyroot stuck his head around the corner of the door to note that
a rebel doesn’t actually need a spare hobby — since it’s
not…(and he said you knew how the rest of the sentence went.)
***
As a private joke on, “Let’s Be Publicly And Literately
Serious Day” at school, one kid stood and recited these words:
“Sadness slips up on man like bad poetry on a rainy day.” And
damn is they didn’t award him First Prize. …(And all he could
do was look out of the window and smile.)
***
This Zoo’s For You: Similar to a dog: One man wouldn’t
“lay down with” an idea until he’d turned around with it 3, or 4
times; another man, similar to an inebriated tiger, wouldn’t rest
with an idea until he’d; ripped it to shreds, chewed it
unmercifully, and called to the waiter: “Another round over
here!” The private manner in which a neural artist manhandles
the notions of the collective gives fresh meaning to the idea of,
“Pawing” something, that is, to: “Treat something with an
unwelcome familiarity.”
***
Just as each individual is a local version of the universal,
so is their mind the local noise the universal makes.
***
…and from Kyroot (and his: “Who Else Did You Expect?!”
files) this: Unnecessarily Detailed Definition Number Two
Hundred & Thirty-Four (more, or less-o): Corollated
Delimitation: Among the collective, you appear fashionably-
insightful and sophisticated by aping the herd’s latest myopia.
***
A guy finally realized, then told himself: “There’s an
over-night delivery system of energy that makes UPS, and Federal
Express small, slow potatoes — dreams!” Even though “man, the-
energy-transformer,”ù never sleeps — life really never does!
…(And a viewer sits momentarily and ponders: “Should that
really read that way?, or should it say: ‘Energy never does’?!”)
Subscript: The mind’s concept of the two forces of “good &
evil” would shift if the latter would just appear to be more
judicious and predictable in it’s “nap times.” …(Or: Everyone
can chuckle over their cheap brother in law — when he’s out of
town!)
…..a viewer says: “I don’t appreciate you screwin’ around
with my mind — …I enjoy it — but I’m pretty sure I don’t
appreciate it.” * Pertinent Collective Moral-cum-Motto: The
mind is a terrible thing to tickle. *
***
…and Kyroot recorded: When it came time to entertain the
collective, the universal called out the local; when it came time
for the rebels to be entertained they could only look for other
rebels.
***
…and Kyroot offered: A side lesson, outside the main
classroom: Until the universal is cut, its parts can’t be named;
and until its parts are named, man’s mind can’t come to be; and
until that happens, you know what the story is. …(and Kyroot
said: That’s why I like you so much.)
***
Just out of ear shot, two realities were talking: “You
know, ‘fear tactics’ won’t work on just any body.” “Yeah,”
responded the other, “just every body!” Up-Shot I: A man with
no mind can not be frightened. Up-Shot II: A man with no mind
is no man — so anything past that is irrelevant — Darling.
***
A guy told his cousin, visiting from afar: “Critics and
city artists who entertain their existence do a dance together
that is just absolutely delightful to see!…assuming that your
tv’s on the blink, and your brother’s borrowed your set of,
‘History’s Most Fascinating Dictators’ books, and you don’t have
to do your nails that night.” …(The sojourning relative
immediately comprehended that the urban had raised cultural
sarcasm to a level as yet unreached by his contemporaries back
home.)
***
The polar-based energy that drives man’s secondary world is
aptly captured in the two competing campaign slogans: “It’s time
for a change,”ù and “There’s no substitute for experience.”ù
…(The basic laws of culture and physics, conveniently wrapped
in ten little words.)
***
The distinction between knowing what you’re doing when you
talk about life, and not knowing is of little ordinary
significance. (Any doubt? — check with local listeners.)
***
To save the people the effort, one city went ahead and spoke
for them by noting: “News is news, but new news is no news.”
***
A man over near Third Avenue described average human
relationships as: “A dance done with both partners
simultaneously standing on each other’s feet, periodically broken
by interludes of discussing the relative propriety of the
arrangement.”
***
No matter their bravado & protestations to the contrary —
everybody does have “something to lose”: …(Funny thing is,
that from a more complex, rebel view, whatever it was is of no
lasting consequence or else it’d never been so relinquished.
…[On a still wider, less personal scale you might note that:
What’s in the loop can’t leave the loop.])
***
As the army of man marched along, one row said: “We are
overcome with disappointment.” And another declared: “We are
overcome with pain.” Still another row announced: “We are
overcome with worry.” And one more said: “We are fully — or at
least damn near fully — overcome, period!” …(And with a
hearty: “Hup, Two, Three, Four!” — onward, life trod.)
***
…and Vincent van Kyroot said: Only at the local level
does thievery pass for originality. …(And on cue, we all,
acting as “ad hoc chorus,” play our back-up part, and sing:
“Only here does thievery pass for originality — just as it
bloody should! — Darling.”
***
Then Kyroot lugged out: Definition Number Two Hundred and
Thirty-Five (more, & more, or less): The Neural Rebel: A
revolutionist with no aggression.
***
More sweaty western lore: One rebel cowpuncher’s favorite
neural song was: “Don’t Fence Me In.” But as was so often the
case (in those rowdy frontier times), by the time he’d gotten
around to discovering this particular ditty — it was — “too
late!”… — The local sheep herders had already cut up the open
range into irreversible parcels. Unrecorded historical suffix:
Whenever a rebel rider realizes this continuing situation, he
douses his campfire, kisses the wind, and rides off again, toward
tomorrow’s sun rise. Unrelated historical addendum: A
revolutionist with a typewriter is like a coo coo bird with a map
to a secret dodo mine.
***
Two creatures from outer space were talking and one of them
said: “Do you realize that there is no ‘outer space’?!” Men
have little interest in realigning Paradise, chasing Dante, or
visiting Augustine at home, if when they get there they find
Handel and Johnson sitting with a limp duck while a photograph of
Ibsen weeps in the background. (“If we must dream,” said a
voice, “let us always dream of the impossible!” And one of its
heroic counterparts replied: “Ah, Great Horatio, what choice
haveth we?!”)
…..An active rebel has no counterpart — except himself! —
which is neither good, nor bad — just fact.
***
Someone writes: “Dear Advice Doctor: Several times on the
Kyroot show I’ve heard him state that: ‘All that need be said
can be said in five words.’ — And my question is: Is there
something especially significant in the number five regarding
the number of words?” Dear Sir: I’m not sure, sure, sure.
***
There is quite a difference in “being on the cutting edge,”
and being the cutting edge; the first is a common intellectual
claim, the latter, a rebel’s reality.
…..and Kyroot noted: Difference, and distinction are both
spelled with a “D”: Some ordinary men speak for god — a
revolutionist, for no body…
***
…and someone around Kyroot said: The energy that runs the
secondary world is so plain and obvious that men had to start
pretending otherwise to keep from going crazy. –Is that why you
don’t see any wild lions with mental problems? — Is that why you
don’t see any lions speak? — Is that why you don’t see any lions
attempting to socialize with man? A man observes: “I don’t like
‘not-seeing-stuff’ like that when it causes me to ‘see stuff’.”
— Well, Hey sir! — If I were you I’d go ask for my money back!
— (Just go over and speak to that nice puma over there in the
running shoes.)
***
…and Kyroot said that the following was for the few to
file under: “Use It, Or Learn To Treat Cliches Like The
Parasites That They Are! — (cha cha cha)”: One’s personal,
potential use of the revolution had a shorter shelf-life than
mayonnaise in the Mojave.
***
A certain extraordinarily plain conversation went like
this: “The aggression of a gourmet is not the same as that of the
hungry.”ù “Do you mean that in a moralistic manner?” “What are
you? — In training for the Dummy Olympics?!” * One way by which
the collective remain necessarily dense and confused is by
pretending that they are more dense and confused than they
actually are. *
***
…and this further from Kyroot: …pointing to the city, a
rebel remarked: “Pretty soon it’s all down hill.” …and in
response (pointing to itself), a city shouted: “Hey-y-y!!”
…..Item: The reason that men have to finally die is that they
can’t stand to live any longer.
…..Hormones are not a hobby! — unless you make them so.
…and onward pressed the “mighty Kyroot”: Hormones are not a
hobby — unless you’re a normal, ordinary, civilized member of
the collective. …(then shedding alligator tears, Kyroot added:
In which case — may the gods, and Roy Acuff have mercy on your
soul.)
…..Additional Item: Religion began as an excusez moi for
being alive.
***
A certain rebellious ole man gathered all the kids and told
them: “The only way to ever be a bigger fool than you are now is
to take being routinely foolish — seriously!” Some time later
one of the lads mused: “Wouldn’t it be just as correct to say:
‘To take being routinely foolish — personally?!'”; he then
rounded up his siblings and got them to join him in considering
the possible connections between: ‘Taking something seriously,’
and, ‘Taking something personally.’ And even the possibility
that they are not separate concepts. Of course, you could go
ahead and ask your own ole-self if you could continue to take
everyday life seriously if you didn’t take it personally, and
further-of-course, the ole ever-popular, vicey versey.
***
A certain rebel mused: “While sympathy-extended seems a
form of nourishment — inner-directed, is suicidal.”
***
As he sat quietly on a warm afternoon he began to dream; and
he dreamt of a place where you could pay someone to dismantle
your nightmares; but as he dreamed on he saw that in this place
such a service would also destroy your dreams. (After that — he
was no longer sure what to ever dream again.) And suddenly! —
here at the bottom of this page, unexpectedly appeared — a new:
“Kyrootian Definition”: Dreams: A poor man’s attempt to “think-
more-than-he-has-to.”
***
The revolution changes from minute to minute; it is only the
civilized world that is stable and dependable.
***
From the pages of the Kyrootian Street Journal: “More
Direct News That Few In The City Can Use”: There is a simple
answer to all of the troubling questions man has about secondary
life — but one which no one can ordinarily offer.
***
While sports became the way to determine who is best
physically, and the arts arose to show who is most popular, the
revolution is for the rebel to prove to himself that he can
think.
***
With the collective: When the truth needs to be updated —
they update it!; with a revolutionist, the situation is much more
dramatic, dangerous, destructive, and all-around fraught with
fun, and such inquiries as: “Is that your low-rider down on the
corner?”
***
Through the auspice of the Kyrootian Press Service we bring
you this news: City research and polling has once again shown
that “happiness” is not caused by wealth, health, or social
position. Sidebar: Rebels have long known that happiness causes
happiness, but have said nothing — since this cannot be proven.
***
Reflecting on his past compositions, a rebel song writer
mused: “Funny — but looking back, the words weren’t all that
important — though they were fun.” …(And later to himself
added: “A lot-t-t of fun!”)
***