Jan Cox Talk 1051

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The News

When life passes in a certain direction, it always waves….
……but few ever notice it.

***

All tried, proved, and approved city ideas are always “On
Sale” over there………….at a discount.

***

Down a side street we find one man and his latest theory:
“Mathematics were — after man got a good gander at the alphabet
— his attempt to compensate.”

***

One guy was nicer to his dog than he was himself; his
explanation being the he “knows” him better.

***

More of, “Kyroot’s Interesting Facts” — (well he thinks
they are!): One guy was so stupid that he could sometimes pass
for somebody else.

***

…and Kyroot, (speaking on behalf of man), said: Putting
names on human behavior has sure meant a lot.

***

Sometimes when alone, this one man would sing this little
refrain: “Ohh, I had a fit……………..but it didn’t do me
any good.”

***

…and from Kyroot: “More Of History Finally Explained!”:
Hormones never forget.

…..and from Kyroot: “More Of How Men: — ‘Manage To
Survive’!”: Their tongues say: “I forgot.”

…..And now “A secret,” from one guy’s “Secret Files & Rasps”:
The History Of Man: That which he doesn’t care to recall.
Only the densest of little painted horsies would ever be so
imprudent as to say: “I’ve been here before!”

***

The man leaped from behind a sycamore and began shouting:
“Look it up! — Check it out! — Get a dictionary! — Get
an encyclopedia! — Just look and see: All of man’s
shortcomings came from some where! — Check it out!”
…(And just like a sudden summer shower — he was gone as
quickly as he arrived…..[and left my clothes all soggy].)

***

…and from capital “K”, Kyroot, a capital, “D”, definition:
The secondary world: The combined effort of the collective —
and vice versa.

***

…and Kyroot observed: As he pulled up to the city
library’s Drive-In-Window this one man said: “Can’t no mother’s
son badmouth ’empty calories’ in front of me — no sir! Not so
long as I’ve got these two fists, my library card, the will to
live, and a di-rect hunger for empty calories.”
Query: How to spot a more civilized zone? It would be the
area in which the last place they’d ever install a weapons’
detector would be their library!………(well, either that, or
the first place!)

***

A guy told his sister’s daughter: “The operational way that
most people use religion and a notion of an individual god is
that whenever they’re actually in the market for a Toyota,
they’ll call and chat with the Cadillac dealer first.” The way in
which the human mind protects itself would make the defensive
line of Attila A & M’s football team look like a bunch of wimpburgers.

***

Two strangers at a bar fell into casual chit chat, and one
of them said: “The stronger I get, the wiser I become.” And the
other mused: “Then I figure it’s more likely you’re a king than
a philosopher — right?!” The Public Service Announcement said:
“Guns were invented as compensation by those who couldn’t think
good — and it worked.” …(What a service! — What an
announcement! — What a public!)

***

Then whilst in a colloquial mood Kyroot commented:
Revolutionist thinking: Sort of like a non-stop epiphany.

***

“Dear Advice Doctor,” so opens the letter, “I would like a
second opinion. My family physician says I have a ‘Humor
Tumor.’ …(although, P.S.: He’s not laughing over my unpaid
bill).”

***
Men Talking To Men: “Men with a hobby don’t need a hobby.”

***

And thanks to a non-grubby grant from the Big K Trust &
Foundation, we bring you: Another episode of, “Life In The City:
Life In The Mind”: As the scene opens a man, reflecting on the
impermanence of life, says: “It is certainly a great comfort to
know that things will probably be even worse — after we die.”

***

A “Conversation” — (and a pretty local one at that): “When
a book is really-y-y bad, they’ll always wanna do a sequel to
it.” “Are you sure you’re talking about books?!”

***

One woman said: “A man’s ‘best-friend’ is who ever he says
it is.” — and she looked over where the revolution had just been
standing.

***

The cheap ruler of this one kingdom told some of his henchmen
and family, as they peered over at their adversaries: “If you can
laugh at them, you can feel superior to them.” And his eldest
son asked: “But that’s not the same thing as actually being
superior to them, is it?” And his semi-Grace replied: “Well
what the hell do you want!”

***

Then Kyroot served up the “Save Yourself Some Time” segment
of the program: Why waste your time telling life: “Don’t do me
any favors!” (?!)

***

…and Kyroot, (your neighborhood mail carrier), said:
Those who want to stare at “magical clouds” and study mystical
matters, are the first ones who can’t accept, or explain their
all-too human nature every time it pops up, center stage.

***

One man said: “In a previous life I was a rat.” And
another asked: “So what happened?” And the guy said: “I don’t
know.”

***

A correspondent who says he’s seen many of our shows writes:
“I believe there are some things about man and about life that
men should not talk about.” There are, sir — there are.
***

Over hot tea, a chap confided: “I simply don’t care what
people think of me! — well, with one exception: What they think
of what I think.”

***

A man counseled a young friend: “Do note the generally
uncredited chemistry and mathematics of all things secondary, in
that, for instance: There is no religion without impossible
demands.”

***

The camp D.I. told some recruits: “Every time a rebel
engages in self-reference, an angel dies!” He spat and
continued: “And even if this ain’t so, if I ever hear you do it
— I’ll shoot one!”

***

…and Kyroot noted: The Strolling Brothers went for a
walk. …and Kyroot further noted: This is kinda how secondary
life grows. …and to himself Kyroot chuckled real good over his
use of the term, “kinda how”.

***

Now from Kyroot’s department of, “IYI”, (If You’re
Interested): In the apparent struggle between “artists and
philistines” — the artists will ultimately triumph — except the
philistines will never realize it……….nor will ordinary
artists.

***

The Sergeant At Arms for this one reality remarked: Men
with little teensy minds tend to squirm a lot.”

…..The “smart men” of this one planet had a secret saying
among themselves: “Act dumb”.

…..Two guys were talking and the first one said: “I don’t
know why, but stupidity really makes me horny!”, and the other
guy got up quickly and left.

***

The man handing out tickets at the parking lot entrance was
also dispensing these words: “A man with a pea brain is your
friend.” And an incoming motorist in a light green sedan
thought: “Well, hell! — a man with a pea brain is everybody’s
friend!”, and a voice in the car said: “Hi, pal.”
***

…and Kyroot, in so many words, kodified one idea into a
seditious method: Part of the revolutionist’s extraordinary
mental activity is in being able and determined to: Not think
about ordinary things in an ordinary way. …(And the Squirrel
Choir sang: “Is that ex-traordinary enough for you?! —
Hummmmmm.”)

***

And by request: “More Proverbs Providentially Updated”: A
holy book is no prize to a blind man — unless he needs something
to prop the door open.

***

…and Kyroot noted: One of the city’s “Critics,” (who in
truth used to be one of the “ole soreheads” we’d periodically
report on, but who’s now assumed the more sophisticated sounding
title — and says he’d appreciate it if we’d spell “critic” (in
his case) with a capital, “C”), had this to say today:
“Knowledge is like many forms of phonograph records; some are
large with small holes, and some are small with large holes; and
some play fast, while others play slow; and then! — THEN, the
human mind is like a three-speed turntable — with only one
speed.”

***

As the other-reality creatures prepared to get on the bus
for their visit over here the driver cautioned them: “Just so
you aren’t too surprised by it, let me warn you now: Some of the
beings over there believe that they’re at their smartest after
they’re dead?!?!” …(And with much, “Ooo-ing,” and “Ahh-ing,”
and shaking of heads, they climbed on board.)

***

…and just for fun Kyroot pointed out: Men who have faith
that men’s institutions, such as governments, will, “See them
through”, are like condemned prisoners awaiting pardons from
trustees.

***

One man, after much time spent reflecting on revolutionist
ideas, and how they compared to what men have always ordinarily
believed, finally sat himself down and aside and asked himself:
“Just who does really want to know, ‘what’s going on around
here’?” And upon silently realizing the answer — lay down and
cried! …(A lad shouted out: “Ahh, I know Kyrootian humor by
now when I see it.” …[“Damn smart-ass kid!”, muttered local
reality, “Blew my best shot at some meaningful melodrama!
Damn!”])

…..One man would only run when his shoelaces were untied. He
says he now can’t recall whether he started doing this
intentionally or not. …(“Damn dumb-ass man! — Blew his best
chance!”)

***

One People’s Defiant Cry & Brilliant Motto: “‘Words-Of-
Wisdom’ SUCK! — And Those That Don’t, Aren’t Wise.”

***

A chap holding some glasses told a visiting group: “If men
were any less removed from their animal brethren, their insistence
of how far they are would drive us all coo-coo.” (Visit, visit,
visit.)

***

Just as a kind of “little joke” on life, this one bunch of
guys would sometimes pretend to be really shocked by — even
aghast at — their displays of their own humanity. …(ha ha.)

***

One man wrote this note down, and left it on his bureau:
“It’s one thing to think you hear loud noises behind your house,
but quite another to really think you do.” “Yes,” said the
professor in charge of the lab, “I suppose it is possible to
amplify the sound of brain waves more than we presently do — but
who-o-o would want to?!!”

***

…then Kyroot interrupted to say: Although few people ever
realized it, at one time life gave out a mailing address so that
you could write to it directly. This was just a test! —
Repeat: This was only a test. We now return to your normal
programming.

***

…and from his, “Big Book Of Simple Auto Repairs,” Kyroot
selected this timely definition: Talk: The anchor that holds
many ships together. …and from Kyroot’s, “Relatively Large
Tome Of Tumultuous Tidbits Of History”, he presented: And it was
from talk that the utility companies got their original idea to
exist.

***

In the midst of the continuing activity, a man stood and
said: “I don’t mind having to, ‘Reap what I sow’, but I’d like
for someone to tell me where I got to select what it is that I
want to sow!” A certain impartial observer who was there reports
that not a single person showed any sign of having heard what he
said. A man asks: “Is it in fact progress to go from feeling
like life itself may be doing the laughing behind your back, to
suspecting it might be the ‘secret’ itself?!”

***

Question: What is a mystic? Someone who couldn’t sell his
book, or get his new religion off the ground.

***

Having a good heart-to-heart with himself, a guy said: “If
those who ‘know-a-lotù don’t say much’ — how do you explain
you?!” And he said back to himself: “Jeeze! — it’s just a
hobby!” And yet another distinction between a revolutionist and
your ordinary person: When regular people get mad at themselves
they actually get mad.

***

We received this letter: “I watch your show a lot, and
really get a lot out of it. Sincerely — (P.S.: When do I get
my money for this?) — Yours”, etc.

***

One way to spot those of local, limited intelligence is that
they are given to referring to the more common aspects of them
and their cultural neighbors in terms of their uniqueness.

***

And we received this letter: “I’ve seen your show several
times, and what you say mostly pisses me off. Sincerely —
(P.S.: When do I get paid for this?) — Yours,” etc.

…..The “Battle between good-&-evil” is staged; so too the
struggle twixt truth-&-error; also the one involving everything
else.

***

…and Kyroot relayed this little item: In lieu of overall 
fun, one guy’d bunch it all up, and have it all at once. …(He
says there’s no immediate plans to try and franchise this
approach.) At the monthly Condo Owner’s Association meeting it
was moved, and agreed upon by all tenants from all areas of the
building that: “Bodily functions are not a fit subject for
public discussions.” …(Although the Recording Secretary said
that she had not the slightest idea as to how this was in any
way related to the Kyroot that started this page.)
***

Standing near the sunshine, a man rubbed his head and
thought: “When you almost know what you’re doing, it’s almost as
though: Talk-is-to-friendship as sex is to romance.” (Then
having thought this, he felt a little better, and a little
worse.) I suspect he was “right on the rubles” when he began his
thought by saying, “When you almost know what you’re doing”.

***

The postal services delivered the following letter to our
Dear Miss Etiquette: “Dear Miss E: From whom can I seek a
refund if I do discover that domesticated animals are laughing at
me?”

***

“Theology If Not Morality And Good-Grooming For The Masses
And Them”: Those who’re impressed with themselves — need it.
* Quicker than Temple, and half as expensive. * 
A man righteously declares: “I don’t have to take this shit
lying down! — I can take it standing up! — Or even while
walking around! — But by-Jehosaphat!, as a clear-headed,
educated man-of-the-world, my options are not limited to, ‘lying
down’!” …(Ahhh! — spoken like a true sufferer of terminal bed
sores. …[And just as you thought it was safe to go to sleep,
life threw the covers off and growled: “Roll back over! — you on
bottom again.”])

***

…oh yeah: Kyroot said to ask you guys personally if you
don’t find it “interestin'” that the stupid don’t have a lobby!!

***

…then Kyroot, the politician-cum-priest-turned-philosopher
said, (for all three): It’s hard to get men to accept patent
foolishness unless you charge for it.

***

In Scene 2, the actor, from somewhere in the condo,
portraying, “Humanity: As Reflected In Those Who Reside Some
Where In The Building,” moved down stage right and soliloquied:
“Judge me not too hastily my friends, for I am but ugly of face
and of body.” (And though obviously not-scripted, he suddenly
fell to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.)

***

Instead of a band during half time, a man came out on the
field and said: “The ordinary always proclaiming and defending
their ‘intelligence’ is not unlike a miser announcing that,
‘Tomorrow…or maybe, next week?!?…will be, “Charity Day For
All”‘.” The response this drew from those in the stands prompted
the bowl officials to quickly fire John Philip Sousa’s widow from
a cannon.
Two guys were talking — three guys were talking — one guy
was talking, and they all said: “People still don’t get it —
they just don’t get it.”

***

The wall stared back and said: “Okay, try it like this:
‘Having fleas’ may not prove that you’re a dog, but it sure proves
that you have fleas.”

***

…and a little story from Uncle Kyroot: A minister told
his son: “God put more sweat glands in our feet than in our head
so that publicly we’d appear more embarrassed about our poor
running skills than we would about our thinking ones.” A man
writes the Advice Doctor: “Why are there more jokes about
priests and religion than about philosophers and intellectual
activities?” And with a resigned sigh the Doctor replied: “Be-
cause!, my dear sir, the latter group still will not make the
effort necessary to match the first bunch’s humor content! —
that’s why.” Legend in one reality has it that some of the
creatures who finally figured out what-was-going-on, quit wearing
costumes on Halloween…………citing as their motivation, the
matter of “redundancy.”

***

Two seditious kinda guys were sittin’ around playing talking
games, and one of them said: “If you asked: ‘What kind of
revolution has a tradition?’, what would most people answer?” And
the other one replied: “If they’d been hanging around here they’d
probably say, ‘A dead revolution’.” And the first one hit his
thigh with his fist a couple of times and grinned — then said:
“Yeah, yeah!, but you know what’s an even better answer?”, and
the other one said: “Okay, I give — what?” And the first one
replied: “Okay: There are two kinds of revolutions that have a
tradition: Dead ones, and ones just getting started.” …(Both
of them then began beating on their legs and laughing at how
fascinating unrestrained reality can be, and how enchantingly it
can manhandle words when it’s dropped into their territory.)

***

All revolutionist thinking, just as with real art, is always
the work of one man.

***

…and as conveyed by Kyroot: Another, “Conversation” —
(And one not heard normally around these parts): “What if man is
not as smart as he thinks he is?!” “Ahhh! — but what if he’s
even smarter!!” A lad sat and pondered: “Through its
institutional mouthpieces, does life tell men that certain words
are profane and forbidden just so we won’t ever mention certain
other ones?!” The great Deity Of The Beavers declared: “Let no
one ever laugh at damns! — Do you hear me?! — Do you hear me
over there?! — Hey!, you guys!, Yeah you! — We’re talking
streams here! — You listen-up to me and quit looking off toward
the mountains.”

***

…and finally this, from Kyroot: A certain “ole man”, (who
found his physical self actually “getting” old), told the kid:
“If my mind ever gets as soft as my dick — shoot me.”

***