Jan Cox Talk 0958

The Worst Thing About “Last Year’s Ideas” Is That No One Notices

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The News

Then, just before takeoff, enough passengers changed their mind to abort departure.

….. …and a first time viewer asks: “Does this have anything to do with the collective hanging on to the wheels of the revolutionist?”

***

One chap’s latest tattoo (done in Old English Script, I might add) reads: “You can learn a lot from listening to other people talk, if you don’t want to know much.”

***

A part of speech’s routine duties is to act as a comforter.

***

A certain man, alive in this universe, used to “make up” things. (He said that “turn about” was only fair play.)

***

One of the city’s longtime, would-be “thinkers” now has this to say: “Personal hygiene is simply an excuse — a mere cover-up.”

***

The king’s latest gift from the Court Magician is a machine you put words into, and they come back out in the order you always intended.

***

Another conversational fragment extracted from city life (while it wasn’t looking): “Some people’ll get mad at the least little thing.” “Yeah! Like themSELVES!” “Yeah!”

***

And now for today’s math results from the fourth race: Crude people have crude hobbies; everyone has a crude hobby.
…(A man up on the Club Level says he resents us talking about him and his family in this manner.)

***

Neo-Myth 428: Whenever the gods have a “Fire Sale,” the creatures are always very happy. …(At least as much so as is possible under the circumstances.)

***

One man declared, “Great minds do ‘work together,’ and Thank God I’m a Siamese twin!”

***

Previously unrecorded Law Of Chemistry: Art means little to a man with a blown head gasket.

***

When it came time to think, one guy would always look around to see what everybody else was doing. …(I assume you don’t really want to know who the guy was?!!…)

***

After dinner, as the family was sitting around, the ole man addressed the kid, “What’s the use in having a phone if you’re not going to answer it?” He paused to sip his brandy, then continued, “What’s the use in having a book if you don’t read it?” He paused to sip again, then said, “What’s the sense in having a house if you never paint it?” and his wife broke in, “You surely aren’t going to say, ‘What’s the use in having a mind if you never use it,’ are you?” And I ask you, what could anybody say after that! …(And the kid replied, “I ain’t ANYbody, Clyde!”)

***

After the city library had burned to the ground, one man looked at himself and said, “Okay, let’s get on it.”

…..And a viewer asks: “Is it possible that a revolutionist is the only person who knows what he’s talking about?” Well, yes — as long as he’s not actually talking.

***

At the beginning of the week the Court Philosopher had short, terse thoughts which grew longer and more complex as the days progressed; he said this was because he was usually hung over on Mondays.

***

While sitting amongst some ducks down by the pond, a man reflected on it all: “A great effort to ‘get out of here’ becomes somewhat questionable if there is no ‘here.'”

***

…and now this message from Kyroot, Inc.: Maximum urban update: A man with fleas can sleep better…assuming he can sleep at all.

….. …update to the update: Some ships can only tell they’re sailing when they spring leaks.

….. …okay, update to the “update update”: The mind is a more wondrous thing than it can ever imagine…(at least at sea level).

***

The stupid always like to be reassured.

***

And a chap thought, “When your own thinking is the captain of your ship, at least you never have to wrestle with the question of whether to ever ‘go down with it’ or not.”

***

The speaker in the park declared: “Driving-yourself-crazy is not possible — you need help!”

***

One king told his people: “I don’t particularly care what you have on your minds as long as it’s not me.”

….. …(foot & toe note): Some of the world’s great memories come from forgetting.

***

…and Kyroot conveyed: The Three Proverb Brothers got on an early cross-town bus and the first brother said, “I feel a pithy saying coming on.” And the second one said, “I told you to go to the bathroom before we left home.” And the third one added, “Do either of you have the exact change?” And as always, the riders all took notes of this conversation to ponder later.
…(During an afternoon break, the driver said there was probably a parable in all of this, but that he wasn’t paid to figure out what it might be.)

***

According to legend in one land, the gods gave men lips just as sort of a …”joke”…

***

Early on in one city, the children are taught, “Having fun is no fun if you know it won’t last.” (End of conversation.)

***

One guy’s theory: “Some people who think funny, walk funny.”

***

…then Kyroot addressed ’em all (who were disguised as you): “All of the secondary world is a prelude.” And they all cried back, “But by its very nature, it cannot be!” And as is so often the case, they were all either wrong, confused, reversed-in-their-thinking, or else just as right-as-reindeer, which would certainly help speed up the present rate of growth around here.

***

…and Kyroot noted: The difference between the heavenly skies and the human mind is that one is out there, and the other is in here — maybe.

…..And a viewer complains: “I didn’t go to all the expense of cable service just to be told ‘maybe’!”

***

One universe’s Sixteenth Commandment: “Thou shalt not be serious in the face of real reality.”

***

Bearing the title, A Full Explanation Of Everything,” an author submitted a manuscript to a city publisher which consisted of these twenty words: “The human mind can never come with an Owner’s Manual since it is only mortal mentation that can write one.”

***

…being as how he’d had his license lifted in his home state, Ole Doctor Kyroot slid into your neck of the woods-o and offered this drive-by diagnosis pertinent to rational ills in a sequential setting: “If frogs cause warts, then causes cause frogs.” …(He says that’ll be twenty bucks for an office visit, and that he don’t take post dated checks.)

***

The more that ordinary people want to think, the more civilized they become; …which is not actually the same thing as “thinking more.”

***

Then from the Finite Consumer’s Handbook, Kyroot read: “It’s hard to be defrauded in a closet — not impossible, just hard; …w-e-l-l…not hard, just impossible.” …(Revised Edition due early spring of next year.)

***

In a peculiar way, some people find the revolution to be far too obvious. …(One king, who considered himself a great hunter, would only track imaginary game.)

….. …As a kind of “reward,” this one reality would sometimes change the destination point in the middle of the trip without telling the passengers…(as if that made the slightest difference to them). …(And standing outside the bar, one reformed ole sorehead said, “That’s another of the really neat things about being alive, ain’t it!”

….. …Posted below the city’s official welcoming sign was a notice that said, “Those who know what they’re doing thought-wise need not seek employment here.”

…..Construction jobs remain available only so long as the building is unfinished.

***

Standing tall, proud, clean, educated, and sophisticated, one man declared, “Our leaders do not have to be right — all that is necessary is that they be in charge.” …(Even he later wondered if he was “talkin’ politics,” or discussing his own mental processes.)

***

“Well at least,” muttered one ole sorehead waiting in the clinic hallway, “at least one thing real physical problems do is to remind you of the bullshit nature of secondary ones!” …(In a limited dimensional reality many creatures will leave their den saying they’re going to “seek relief” — when what they’re really after is just a breath of fresh air.)

***

And now for some even fresher results from the fifth race: The human mind is the only creature that can’t defend itself: It doesn’t have to! …so, there!

***

…and while some of the other children were getting their brains and oil checked, Kyroot gave the rest of you this instant “new math” lesson: Complete pretense = full participation in secondary affairs. …(Many people proved a quart low — [but you’d guessed that already!])

***

…then, cashing in your chips on your behalf, Kyroot rolled this one on you: If you give something your “best guess” it’s proof you live in the city; if you call it something else — you’re moving up in the world.

***

A fellow who used to live just over yonder recently said, “The good thing about having other people around is that there’s always somebody else who can be wrong.”

***

…Cortical Culinary Curio: When the food gave out, they began to eat the grease. (“When DID the food run out?”) Shortly after they learned how to eat.

….. …and a viewer responds: “Some of what you say would disturb me if — thank god — I didn’t feel so bad already.”

***

Playing both parts of the consumer and the dealership, one man kicked his own tires, reflected on the journey thus far, then remarked to himself, as though he was the latter, “I can’t say that the car itself has been that much of a joy, but your service of it, I must say, has kept the whole affair at least ‘interesting.'”

***

Once the king had appointed a full complement of ministers and advisors, and had directed a division of labor as was reasonable and appropriate, he said, “I still don’t see what good it will do.”

…..And a man once thought, “Hey, buildings can’t talk.”

***

Continuing quiz-show-conversation between two well known personages: The first one asks: “Is it possible to be dumb and not know it?” and the second one replies: “I don’t know.”

***

…then Kyroot offered this: Neural Gardener’s Tip: Life grows in two specific regions: Out there and in here.

***

Some in the city have always believed that making a train run backwards is the ultimate proof that it does run. …(And I encourage you — think about it! — [as long as you’re already here on this 3-D world and all].)

***

And a viewer/listener says: “What I like best about your form of the ‘revolution thing’ is NOTHING!”

…..Legend has it in one universe that their gods at first planned to give the creatures an extra eye, but at the last minute substituted opinions instead.

***

Then Kyroot pretended to get a notice in the mail that directed you should receive the following survey: “If dining is the secondary equivalent of primary hunger, and love the secondary reflection of primary sex, then what is stupidity a human version of?” …(And a voice in the back asked, “How long do we have to answer?” And a voice up front replied, “I don’t know! How long to you plan to live?”)

***

Topographical news flash — news flash — news flash: A man who would cheat and swindle you — lives in a closet…with you!
…(End of flash — end of flash.)

***

One lad thought: “The worst thing about ‘last year’s ideas’ is that no one notices.”

***

…and Kyroot observed: There are several things you could say about the matter of “a way out”: You could say that if you know a way out, you’ve already as good as used it; or, if you know a way out, you should use it; or, if you think you know a way out, it’ll prove to be illusory — or, only a revolutionist really knows a “way out,” and it renders all of the above moot and pointless. …(“Thank you, and good night: and remember as you head home, to ‘think carefully’; good night and god bless you all — thank you ever so much.”)

***

Over in another ballroom, for their final number of the evening, the band played a song entitled “If You Dismantle The Secondary World — Then Just Look What You’ve Got.”

***

The sixth race, you say — the sixth race, now is it — so you wanna know about the sixth race — so, okay, I’ll tell you about the friggin’ sixth race: Only the stupid are ever serious: Everybody has to be serious sometimes.

***

…and Kyroot noted: Part of the collective’s “proof of sanity” is in the ability to depend on “external authority” even if it doesn’t exist.

***

Then Kyroot offered another portion of his Thumbnail Sketches Of History (this one concerning the progress of theology): “Once a man becomes civilized, only a god who talks will do.”

***

Out of sheer frustration and superior insight, one would-be king invented his own kingdom and subjects.

….. …”A great thing,” said the stable master, “about fictitious horses is that you don’t have to feed them.”

….. …and a viewer remarks: “The reason I prefer long stories and parables is that it gives me more time to imagine that I’ll eventually understand them. Thanks for nothin’. Sincerely,” etc.

***

The man yelling over in the park seemed to be yelling, “If the secondary world did ‘mean anything,’ then man wouldn’t have to invent it!” (Jeeze! He can yell loud.)

***

And a rebel sitting in the woods, gazing not unfriendly back toward the city thought, “If there was a local paradise or utopia possible, what could it be that would be better than just the old dance floor refinished.”

***

And according to yet another legend…okay, myth…oh, alright, a story I’m about to make up — according to this one story, one day this one man got so mad that his primary world turned one color, and his secondary another. …(So okay, what’dya think of it? Or do I have to make up your reaction too?!)

***

…and Prof K. observed: According to that segment of the collective’s thinking known as “historians”: “The past is far too potent to be left in the hands of the dead.”

***

Later that afternoon, in a return engagement, the Three Proverb Brothers played out this scene: The first brother said: “In the metaphorical world of the intellect, men are divided into two types — authors and editors.” And the second brother broke in, “What about critics?” and the first one revised his comment, “Okay, into three types — authors, editors, and critics.” Then the second brother countered yet again, “But that leaves out buyers!” And brother uno returned with, “Okay, they’re divided into four types — authors, editors, critics, and buyers.” But the deuce sibling was having none of it, and immediately replied, “But this includes no notice of the all important garbage men who must ultimately dispose of the work of the first four types.” Then the third brother finally entered the fray to ask, “Don’t I get any lines in this?” (Which may or may not prove anything regarding the sometimes unexpected nature of parables, telegrams, and routine test results.)

***

Hormones do the dancing — feet just take the credit.

***

The “cures” for serious problems must of course be serious — which is what caused them in the first place. …(And a testy viewer says: “I didn’t spend my hard earned money for cable service to hear somebody talk to me about ‘what-causes-what’ — so stop it right now.”

***

And from his illustrious alleyway, the Whisper Man delivers to us today’s message: “Psst! Popular culture is popular only with those who have none.”

***

…and Kyroot noted: Most men try to compensate for the loose feel of the bus’s suspension system by tightening themselves up. …(Hey! Query: Does it work? Hey! Answer: Are you nuts?!! Hey! Hey! Hey! …[“Hey Herbert, hand me that wrench — or do you think we’ve got it tight enough already.”])

***

One ole city sorehead defines a humanitarian as somebody who’s so tired of taking shit off life that they decide to take on everybody else’s.

***

A man in a house near a major intersection gave himself a multiple choice quiz which went like this: A man’s best friend is: (a) His Mama, (b) A life boat, or, (c) Everybody else’s Mama wielding marine insurance. …(He says it was the noise of traffic that made him do so poorly the first time through.)

….. …okay, all you laughing “know-it-alls” and smarty-pants, here’s a little quiz for you: Which will men dislike the most: Something they thought was serious that turns out to be a joke, or vice versa?

***

In the ballroom just behind the one you now see, the communication between the orchestra and the dancers is through stardust.

***

Then the warrior chief, after contemplating the nature of the conditions confronting them, commanded the troops, “To hell with a ‘bridge-over-troubled-waters’ — shoot the waters!!”
…(A “short cut” for a rebel is the only cut.)

…..And a gentleman writes to the Advice Doctor: “Dear Doctor: Do you think I’m going crazy?”

***

Darn near knocking down the man already speaking, a chap took over the park’s public soap box and demanded of the crowd, “Okay, if explanations can really explain anything — then explain this!” cried he, holding high a ripe eggplant.

***

The thinker-on-the-curb glanced up at traffic and said, “No one wants to admit they’ve been wrong; that’s why we were named ‘man’ and have the potential we do.” …(Even when cops or pedestrians aren’t around, cars go by; they never shut down the power plant except in cases of extreme emergency: Are you an extreme emergency?!!)

***

And we tune into channel nine just as Officer Obvious is squirting seltzer and telling the boys and girls, “Remember, you cute little neural rug-rats, you — remember, serious people say serious things. Now who wants some prizes and a pie to throw at Warren Harding?…” …(Are you sure that was channel nine?…)

***

One most excellent city constantly reminded its creatures — I mean, citizens — that “The past, the past is always here to help you.”

***

Then suddenly an all-encompassing “myth-fog” suddenly encompassed us all and the following may have taken place: A mighty-mighty voice cried out: “It’s an ‘either-or’ proposition: You either ‘Think more than you have to’ — OR — you’re GROUNDED young man! And you can just s-i-t i-n y-o-u-r r-o-o-m, a-l-l weekend!”

***

Then a man who’d heard some of all this (and who owns a convertible) asked, “So okay, so if you do get over taking life so…so ‘seriously’ — so, then what?” …(You ever notice? Just like with a hat, some men can wear a convertible and some can’t.)

***

For some, having children is like your genes saying, “Hey, I’ll be back in a minute.”

***

After having sat out several of the more important dances, one guy sashayed outside while thinking, “If the revolution wasn’t so funny, it could be a joke.”

***

And a correspondent writes: “After considering your words, I now think I understand what you mean by the distinctions of a ‘necessary world,’ and a ‘secondary’ one, but now that I do, whenever I think of the necessary one, I smile, and when I think of the secondary one I smile and shudder…but then I end up smiling some more.”

***

…then Kyroot served up this tasty, though optimistic, treat for the weekend: Being “satisfied” is being able to commit suicide without hurting yourself.

….. …oh, okay — super optimistic tip for those who may actually make it to Monday: Being intellectually alive and rebellious beyond any rational call-to-do-so will at least see to it that only you can make you feel mad, sad, guilty, or embarrassed. …(And okay, enough of that, now — “Look out lips! Stand back gums! Watch out brain…” [and so on like that].)

***

In the Stardust Ballroom the perfect metaphor for life is life.

***

A thinking creature with no “source of reference” has the best one possible.

…..One man secretly heard the sky talk to him.