Jan Cox Talk 0955

Men Most Comfortable With Dead Ideas

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Summary

#955 Apr 3, 1992 – 1:00 
Notes by TK

Kyroot to :28. Men have utmost confidence and feel most comfortable with the dead (ideas, institutional holy scriptures). There is an individual version /use of “holy scripture”: “external authority, greater wisdom, exists than mine.” This is thinking within genetic intellectual template—impossible to resist.


The News

Continuity is the refuge of the weak.

***

One man stood tall and declared, “I hear what I expect to hear,” and Life replied, “Well, you came to the right place.”

***

And as always, just before the bus pulled out of the station, the driver announced, “All passengers, please buckle yourselves firmly into yourselves.”

***

A “natural” change of mind ain’t much of a change of mind.

***

…then Dr. Kyroot made the following diagnosis: An ordinary man is sane so long as the elevator goes up and down.

***

…then Kyroot offered this combo: Entertainer’s Note & Thinker’s Dope: If you have a “hometown audience,” you’ll play to ’em sure as shootin’.

***

…then during first period class Kyroot gave this: Historical & Synaptic Peek-A-Boo Boo: Just before the “fall of the old” it’ll always say, “Hey! I ain’t goin’ nowhere!”

***

The ordinary are continually concerned over whether they’re being seen as being too ordinary.

***

And one guy thought, “Well, if you’re satisfied with being you, what are you doing here?!!”

***

The human emotions that ordinarily cool man are driven by a fan with two blades…for stability, don’t you see.

***

Then one ole man said to the kid, “Neatness counts in two particular areas, and one of them is the cemetery — and note that those most directly involved are required to make no effort.”

***

Many beasts became domesticated through watching man say to his intellect, “Here boy! It’s dinner time — come get your food.”

***

Whenever he’d act real dumb, this one guy’d swell up; what a swell guy.

***

The man who insists on standing near the car dealership in the city has started his own new religion and tells all interested prospects that when his “paradise” is realized, everyone who lives in Lawrenceville will be named Lawrence.
…(Plus, you’ll be able to eat saturated fats and get cable free.)

***

One of the ‘steady-Freddy’ regulars at the Ole Soreheads’ Bar says he thinks the real path to “success” is just to “fail in private.”

***

Probably, before he leaves the stadium, a revolutionist should connect all the dots, fill in “Fifty-Two Across,” and do something with the garbage…probably.

***

A visitor to this planet found the presence of street signs, maps, and directions most curious for a finite landscape; and when he discovered they were also actually used in regards to man’s physical highways, he was even more perplexed.

….. …one chap’s latest theory is that “Other people exist just so’s you’ll have somebody to tell what they should do, and how they should live.”

***

One day a priest, a rabbi, and a used car salesman were traveling together on the way to Baghdad, and the rabbi said, “Is this going to be a joke?”

***

When the current is hot, even those with “no voice” sing to themselves.

***

…then stepping onto the Curious Train, Kyroot noted: A man who knows what he’s doing doesn’t have to so much “know what he’s doing.”

***

…and a viewer writes: “I don’t like weird stuff.”

***

In the primary — and then in the secondary world, people will “hang together” even should you fire off a drunken insurance salesman in their midst.

***

Although the city judges are not yet so informed, part of the real beauty of mortal dances is how they so effortlessly glide around in circles.

….. …near midtown is a man who says he’s always wanted to give his own “mental two-step” a big old “10,” but that he can’t count that high. …(Truth-And-Justice doesn’t always ride a white horse — sometimes it’s the ground you travel on.)

***

According to one guy, his “guiding light” (when he’s not stumbling in the dark) is, “Dead ideas are good ideas! …and cheap, too.”

***

And a viewer writes: “Do you realize that thus far tonight there hasn’t been a single Kyroot about kings?!…”

***

Whenever this one little kid would head out toward the bus stop, his ole man would say to him, “Remember: Don’t make any of those parts inside of you any smaller than they already are.”

***

For a revolutionist’s mind, that which is familiar is already too familiar.

***

So as to give the people another holiday, the mayor announced that the second Tuesday of every fourth month would be known as “Words Are Funnier Than Anything Day.”

***

In that cleared out area of city park reserved for speakers, one speaker yesterday so spoke: “There is a difference between a man’s hormones and a dog’s,” and a fellow in the crowd shot back, “Yeah, the dog’s hormones are in a dog.” …(“And the speaker was astounded, and suddenly enlightened.” …[You see, that last line moved the little story over into the realm of myth.])

***

From local views, no process is up-to-speed until man has identified and tagged it.

***

…then Kyroot noted another “Unknown, Let’s-Forget-About-It, Historical Fact”: The primary world once had its own religion; one of its central tenets was “Hate thy enemies.”
…(In the city they don’t like to talk much about it any more.)

***

Whenever this one man would think about “human emotions,” for some reason these words would always spring to mind: “Do not press buttons while the car is in motion.”

***

“Collectively, men are smarter than they are individually.”
…(“Say,” said some, “is this the joke-of-the-day, or what?!!)

***

And the rebel sergeant noted to the fresh recruits: “The excited may be easily shot down, but at times, not as quickly as the turgid.”

***

…and Kyroot noted: Animals can be pleasant, and man can be pleasant, but Horace and Henriette must make effort to be so.
…(And the king looked down and declared, “Equality! Equality? If they want to discuss equality, let ’em all meet down in the stables.” …[The balance, or lack thereof, between a man’s head and stomach continues to dictate the settlements struck ‘twixt labor and management.])

….. …and a chap who heard this suddenly thought to himself, “If I was smarter than I am, then I could be smarter than everybody else!”

***

After studying a certain area of civilization for several generations, one redwood mused, “Morality would seem to be a pointing of a finger-of-accusation at one who doesn’t really care, followed by a swift kick and slap.”

***

Then, on a slow day (or at least what passed for a “slow day”) a man wrote the Advice Doctor and said: “I just love it when you ‘tell me what to do.'” And the Doctor replied, “Go to hell.”

….. …and a viewer writes: “I don’t believe there is such a person as the Advice Doctor! But if there is, ask him what he thinks of my theory.”

***

Then one ole man told his kid, “Even on a bad day, you can at least be as serious as the next guy thinks you are,” and the lad replied, “Is ‘a bad day’ the worst you can call it?!!”

***

…and now, Kyroot’s Myth For The Day: Once while unusually drunk, Life said to its creatures, “Get-in-the-way at your own risk, but — Hic! — certainly at no one else’s — Hic!”

***

And then a man appeared who offered, at no charge, to act as the town’s “ad hoc mayor,” and as a teaser offered up this morsel: “Do not have ‘negative thoughts’ — unless you have to.”
…(The check’s in the mail.)

***

And during the second semester of “Ballistic Economics” the students were given this well known maxim: “Do not a borrower or land-mine be.” …(Now the check’s in somebody else’s mail.)

***

For his own unpublished purposes, one rebel concluded that a revolutionist should have only “hot wishes.”

***

…and Kyroot said to the rebels: To be a part of the “collective seriousness” is to be an active participant in your own execution.

***

Over in the city, a man disguised as a kid was standing on a corner asking, “Why do all of the really great and famous commandments begin with the words ‘do not…’?”

***

…and that Ole Counselor Kyroot said: The surest way to cement the relationship with yourself is to take yourself seriously. Next.

***

Just because you don’t think about the laws that actually run this universe doesn’t bother them. …(And viewer asks, “Are you sure???…”)

***

As this one family would move closer to town, then back away again, then up closer again, the mother warned all the kids, “Don’t wear your guts on the outside of your clothes.”

***

Even in the freest states in secondary lands, the king keeps files on everybody. …(A man once wondered, “If I could forget who I am, maybe I wouldn’t be it.”)

***

When he’d retire for the night, one man would place a dust cover over his mind. …(“Dreams come in all forms, noted he, “but I’ll be damned if they’ll get me without some kind of fight.”)

….. …which of course brings up this little news item: A chap in the eastern district has begun calling himself “Sunnybrook’s Whirlwind,” and entering quarter-milers for yearlings; “And why not?!” says he, “Since I can already sleep while standing up.”

***

Then one local reality told all the creatures to “look to the right”… …well, it told some — okay, half — of them to look to the right, and the rest — well, surely you can guess.

***

Then, grinning like a freshly scrubbed and rubbed m.c., the m.c. announced, “That’s right, contestants, the correct answer is: ‘Life holds the mortgage!'”

***

Whenever he grew melancholy and would look at his own mentality, he was prone to open a half pint and croon to himself, “I’m a f-o-o-l to want you…”

….. …and over on Chestnut Circle lives a man who finds it difficult to be sad in a civilized manner, since he finds it impossible to remember how to spell “melancholy.”

***

For a revolutionist’s purposes, being civilized is like chocolate syrup.

***

While on a short trip, one ole man said to the kid as they were unpacking, “Religion was initially an attempt to expand man’s perceptional horizons beyond the boundaries of race or nationalism, but like everything else that works in the secondary world, it didn’t work.”

***

“Why, yes,” said the Service Manager, “if you don’t have a car in for repairs, you may call any time you like and ask if it’s ‘ready yet?'”

***

…and Kyroot said to the troops: If you try to measure energy by material costs or profits, you’ll always be cheated.
…(Which of course, in a finite land, is not possible, which is what makes it seem so excruciatingly expensive.)

***

One guy who had his own neural neighborhood, after realizing exactly what is going on, began refusing to make house calls.
…(Said he, “It’s my mind — it’s my call.”)

***

Over in city park, a man dressed in unusual clothing and speaking in a soft voice was addressing passers-by with this observation: “Yea, my brothers and sisters, the power of love and of reason is such that they can ‘stop-a-bullet’ — if you’re already dead.” …(In urban, cortical areas, it’s sometimes about as easy to “cheer people up” as it is to “bring them down”
…yet one seems to predominate. …[And one fine citizen remarked, “What I really like about the movies is that they don’t really exist, and you can get double butter on your popcorn.”])

***

A king with any idea what he was doing would abdicate!
…in secret.

***

One lad, after visiting the city and other parts of his head, observed, “Some of them seem smarter than others, but what good do they make of it?…”

***

…then for your birthday Kyroot gave you this early present: A “law” that can be broken is not really much of a law (now are it?!). …(And a man’s duodenum said, “That’s what I like about things down here!”)

***

One chap’s Principle For Living was: “Do not hinder life’s growth — or else be prepared to be covered in fertilizer.”

***

In a rebel’s lands, only “squatters” have any rights.
…and Kyroot said: In a rebel’s mental lands, only “squatters” have any rights. …(Did I really have to add “mental lands” for you guys?!!…)

***

To help comfort the little creatures in his care during their times of grief, this one god would tell them, “Hey, take a flying leap!”

***

And a viewer writes: “I really enjoy it when you make me feel like a fool, but since they’ve disconnected my cable service, I just go look in the mirror.”

***

While they were visiting a certain area of the city, one ole mother told her kid, “Don’t waste your money paying extra for ‘authenticity,’ around here there ain’t no such things as ‘fakes.'”

***

…then Kyroot offered this: Money saving tip we can all use: In “man’s world,” a man with a dictionary knows it all.

***

And one guy thought, “I’d love to be a hermit…if I could figure out how to do it all by myself.”

***

In the secondary world, there are two ways to deal with any problem, and one of them never works. …but does that stop people from using it?!!

***

An astute dog, just passing through, paused to look, and once again impartially reflected on the nature of humans. (Reflected he): “If it weren’t for your unique and astounding motor skills, you wouldn’t be all that’a ‘big deal.'” …(He sniffed and split.)

***

In one sense, being “civilized” means “keeping your pants on” — and I don’t mean physically.

***

There was a man who, in an attempt to cut down on unnecessary connections between thoughts, would, whenever he reached a place in a sentence where he was automatically prepared to insert a conjunction, purposefully pronounce the word “and” as though it were spelled with a “b” instead of an “n.” …(The latest flavor over at the emporium is called “It’s Easier To Stay ON Your Toes If You HAVE Toes…And Eyes To See Them.”)

***

Then, finally, in response, Life called back, “If ‘tiredness’ actually meant anything, man would go take a nap,” and the guy hollered back, “But I can’t get my mind to lay down.”

***

At least once a year this one man would say to himself, “If there was anything really to ‘figure out,’ then Life wouldn’t go to so much trouble to make us think it was hidden.” …(And then there was this other guy who could “cheer himself up” better than anyone else in the world!!… …[but that wasn’t the half of it!])

***

The primary survives — the secondary lives.

***

…then from the general area of Kyroot came this comment: “You’ll know that the closet may be tiring of you if it says, ‘Take out the garbage.'”

***

At one reported rebel camp was this alleged battle-cry, I mean, play-song:
“In the collective is wisdom;
In the collective is safety;
In the collective is — FUCK THE COLLECTIVE!”
…(And as always, neither the station nor our sponsors can guarantee the accuracy of this report.)

***

Human life on this planet is unusual in that it is both the field and the seed.

….. …”But, Pa Pa,” he asked, “Why do they call it the ‘funny farm’?” And the elder replied, “You’re laughing, aren’t you?!!”

***

…and Kyroot observed: Another use of “Holy Scripture” is that it makes the past seem less frightening.

***

…and Kyroot remarked: To ordinary minds, the contemporary seems just a bit “too frisky.”

***

With talk, all things are possible; with stardust, they already are.

***

Then one chap, acting as his own “speaker-in-the-park” and “audience” declared to himself, “That which you do in private doesn’t count,” and then immediately shot back, “Then do it all in private, you baloney brain!”

***

The ordinary mind somehow extracting-knowledge-from-areas-of-ignorance is not unlike a lion urinarily marking out his domain from amidst the common.

***

Every morning this one rebellious ole man would say to the kid, “Remember, if you ‘don’t watch it,’ it’s always possible to slip up and be ordinary.”

***

…then Kyroot (semi-cleverly, disguised as an intellectual) said: There are two main groups who serve the needs of Life: Those who don’t know they do, and the other one.

***

When operating at peak efficiency, all systems are mysteries.

….. …and one creature’s reactionary network said, “Hey, you can talk about my mama, but don’t you say nothin’ about my mind!”

***

Everyone is provided with an intellectual template — and who, besides a revolutionist or some other kind of nut, would try and ignore it.

***

Then, suddenly shattering throughout the universe, a mighty voice cried out, “It’s anybody’s guess!” and everyone immediately began to guess.

***

…and Kyroot noted: Some people took it more seriously than others.

***

The primary survives — the secondary lives, but stardust is forever.