Jan Cox Talk 0934

Things Fall, Then Men Invent Gravity

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Summary

#934 Feb 14, 1992 – 1:00 
Notes by TK

Kyroot to :30. Life is what happens; man is what explains it. Second version: things fall, then men invent gravity. Third version: Life is verbs/process, men “noun-ize” it. It is the only way that the mind can talk/think. “W/o men Life wouldn’t need explanations, but w/o explanations there would be no men”. First half of quote makes sense; the second half doesn’t to ordinary men but it shows that genetic lines of evolution can go in more than one direction.

In the beginning was the “word”…an explanation (a single word wouldn’t work). It’s provable that things aren’t limited to one direction of evolution. To wit: people can oppose evolution, be angered by a particular direction of it. This is the absolute efficiency of omnidirectional growth.


The News

“Gads!” exclaimed one guy, “If life wasn’t such fun, it’d be frightening.” And (as may not surprise some of you), he had a partner who would say just the opposite.

***

As he walked away from the crowd, his final words flung back were: “Well at least having a headache proves you have a head.”

***

One guy decided that there were worse things than being dumb, but he was too stupid to ever figure out what they were.

***

After each successive failure, this one fellow would remind himself, “Remember: The higher you climb, the farther you have to fall.” — An axiom, which in his case, never got actually tested. …(Dirty Dick’s Dirty Question Of The Day: Is his case your case???)

***

It could be said that in one area of life there are two pertinent hobbies possible: being yourself, or not being yourself — and almost everyone is involved in the former, one way or another, whether they particularly like themself or nay.

***

In a certain other solar system that on several occasions has attempted to get trains to float, one man had himself committed to a women’s prison in hopes that therein he’d discover a handful of pardons. …(Important scientific footnote: This is indeed a spurious tale inasmuch as the primary world, in this example represented by sexual desire, never runs backwards — [like some other worlds we could mention].)

***

In one city lives a man who has concluded as follows: “The younger end of the human nervous system is far too delicate to fool around with — unless you’re going to do so quite harshly.”
…(And a viewer writes: “Some of your ideas sound to me potentially dangerous, but which is not my problem, since I won’t ever try to use them. Yours,” etc.)

…..{…and in an unrelated area, one man sent himself a post card that asked, “Why do all kings — that’s right, I said all kings — have armed guards?” …(I assume he meant all external kings-you-can-see — right? …Don’t you hope?…..)}

…..{…and in a matter even more disconnected than the previous one, another man turned over on his side and wondered, “If you never reached the place of at least internally resisting change, and seeing life as regressing, how would you ever be able to die?”}

…..{…and in yet another subject so far removed from the previous ones as to need no disclaimer, you might want to note that normal intellectual maturity was the original inspiration for the processes of pickling and canning.}

***

Sometimes as he walked down the street he would glance into the glass store fronts and before he could speak, his reflection would look at him and say, “There but for the grace of god go I.”

***

{As day would change to night, then night drift back to day, then day continue the endless process, a sign would sometimes appear in the heavens for the land-captive creatures to see and ponder: “Without melancholy there is nothing.” …(It proved to be a favorite.)}

***

As the Chief Engineer stood near the main dynamo considering some of the customers’ questions regarding the possibility of “overload,” he wanted to tell them, “Only the weak never know how weak they are.”

…..{…and a viewer takes this opportunity to write us thusly: “That just read little story is but a splendid example of what your `modifier-bashing’ has wrought. (To wit): Had you said, for instance, `Only the TRULY weak never know how weak they are,’ then fairly ordinary people like myself could better accept the idea at face value — at least immediately sufficient for us to perhaps consider further, in more depth at a future time. My point being, Mr. Kyroot, that although some of what you say might be of potential value, I feel that you ofttimes deliver it too briskly and directly for your — I mean — our own good.” It was kinda hard to make out the signature, but I think he attempted to forge YOUR name to the letter.}

***

They normally let those in costume in first; they also usually permit them to be first shot. …(At times when he wasn’t real hungry, this one man would sit outside and think, “What’s the use in even being captured if you’re not sure they’ll mistreat you?!!”)

***

One man attempted to always postpone all important decisions to another day. …(That’s right! Just think about it!! All those lovely “A” words: Always, All, Another…)

…..{…having been called “off sides” for the ninth time, the East-Green team announced that “stupidity delayed is stupidity disarmed.”}

***

The speaker told the small group: “Yes, as many have suspected, there is a man in every reality, selected by the local god to be in charge of justice and retribution. He is blind, dumb, and impartial — just the sorts of attributes you’d expect of a bureaucratic appointee.”

***

When it came to city lessons in “self condemnation,” one father told his son: “Note: You have two buttocks, and two feet — does that tell you something?!!” …(As it turned out in this particular story, the lad did not grow up to be a complete carbon copy of the ole man, thus no total fool, and later he looked back on this idea and pondered, “Is the real significance in the fact that my lower cheeks and toe-holders are the same in number — or the fact that that number is two?!!”)

***

The revolutionist mind would be more inclined to take note of the movements of the merry-go-round rather than the riders. (Actions, NOT actors.)

***

As his ability to think became fresher and looser, this one man mused to himself, “Yet at times, to get it all going, it seems like my mind is electronic while my off/on switch is still mechanical.” …(Hey kids, did you know that in some universes, Santa Claus comes whenever you want him to?!! — Hey kids, did you know that?!! Can you believe that?!! Hey kids!)

…..{…Things that come withOUT packaging require no Assembly Instructions.}

***

In a certain intellectual woods was a man who could sing like a bird; unfortunately in his case, the bird was a vulture.
…(Of course, folks, my insertion of the word “unfortunately” was just to flag this as an obvious joke; the mother of all collective wisdom IS plagiarism, and the heraldry of all kings, thieves, and intellectuals IS the condor.)

***

ALL bus drivers will tell you that they know where they’re going…IF you ASK them!

…..{…To try and profitably deal with this situation, one driver (now long fired and gone) posted a little sign just over his head that read: “DON’T ask.”}

…..{…Oh yeah, (for all you transportation aficionados) another piece of overlooked lore: On some buses, the farther back you sit, the faster it seems to go. …(Almost as though each evolutionary time zone has its own chronological schedule and sense of tempo. …[And a chap sitting by a window glanced down at his own nervous system and said, “I know I do.”])}

***

{…and Kyroot told of a: Conversation: First guy: “Without the brain — there is nothing.” Second guy: “Not so — there’d still be something left.” First guy: “Not enough to talk about.” Third guy: “You can say that again.”
Son of Conversation: First guy: “Only creatures who can talk about themselves do so.” Second guy: “Only creatures who want to talk about themselves do so.” Third guy: “Only creatures who know they can talk will do so.” First and second guy together: “We thought we told you to stay away from here.”}

***

{And this from another viewer: “Sir: I do not understand why the hell you pick on personal anecdotes so much; after all, what does a person actually know beyond this? (My brother-in-law says that that’s just your point, but I don’t see what he means.) Sincerely Yours,” and like that.}

***

In certain situations, this one man would say, “Muscles don’t fail me now,” and in others he’d exclaim, “Brains don’t fail me now.” (Since it’s your birthday and all, I’ll let you make up your own punch line.)

***

{When his everyday, work-a-day problems would seem to get too big, this one regal carpenter would cut a few more inches off his tape. …(The armed, and always dangerous, Keeper Of The Royal Tool Museum advises us: “Don’t you LAUGH at what works unless YOU know HOW it works.” …[They’re closed on Thursdays.])}

***

The warden whispered to number seven-three-six-four-nine, “You’re never prettier, or closer to me than when you’re kicking and insisting that you’re not a prisoner at all.”

…..{…One man said, “You can just hold it right there! I don’t want to BE in any prison that’d have me.”}

***

In the city districts of collective thinking, being behind the times is no bar to leading the pack. …(That which would be regressive and suicidal in the primary world can be quite proper and normal in the secondary; and that boils & gills, is why we have the secondary.)

***

Whenever he didn’t know exactly what he was dealing with, this one universe — I mean, man — would stand loudly and declare, “Well I’ll tell you exactly what we’re dealing with here!…”

***

{…and Kyroot noted: In one of the city’s sophisticated districts, two gentlemen were talking: “Why do we so seldom see truly memorable dramatic performers?” And the second one responded, “It would seem to me that the greatest difficulty in being an actor is in keeping your own personality from overwhelming the words and ideas you are attempting to convey,” and a waiter serving an adjoining table said to himself, “That would also seem to be an honest description of what man’s thinking processes are faced with.”}

***

At a severe hairpin curve, right near that high, joyous overpass, was a sign that could be seen by a few: “Beware Of Hormones Old, But Not Tired Or Serious.” …(Then at the bottom of the hill was another one that said, “I Told You To Beware — Dammit!”)

***

A chap who spent his life pursuing collective, city dreams says, “It’s easy to go wrong once you get started correctly.”
…(Hey, don’t be looking at me — I didn’t say it, I’m just acting as a reporter. …[But, You knew that, and I knew that; tell that man to grab his hat.] …(“Har, har,” chuckled Wild Bill, “One down, and only some over four billion to go.”)])

***

{To himself a revolutionist said, “I can take these cuts and bruises to my body, but I don’t think I should take any more blows to my mind.}

…..{…After having said this he thought, “What is the difference between `I SHOULDN’T take any more blows to my mind,’ and `I CAN’T take any more’?”}

***

{And over in yet another universe, a message would periodically appear for a while in their sky, and it said: “After all of the apologies and self-condemnation — life STILL must go on.”}

***

The speaker in the park said to those gathered about, “Man could feel before he could think,” and someone in the crowd called back, “So what?” to which he replied, “`So what,’ my ASS, muther-caller.” (Right after that, the potential of “philosophical-lessons-to-be-learned” fell off dramatically.)

***

{…and Kyroot noted: On this one world, historians come with directions that say, “Tear Along Dotted Line.”}

***

The first peep hole in the fence around one city construction site said, “You should not fool around with your nervous system — especially your brain — if you don’t know what you’re doing,” and the next hole said, “NO body in here `knows what they’re doing.'” …(Amongst the people passing by was a man who has watched our shows and wanted to say, “At times, I personally appreciate it when you say, `brain’ instead of `mind,’ or `intellect,’ or like that. Thanks again.”)

***

The way memory works in most people’s brain is not unlike a drunken truck driver without a clutch throwing ‘er in reverse at sixty miles an hour.

***

A man who claims to have two left ears (which proved to be irrelevant to what subsequently occurred) stopped me near the automat and said that he’d come to his own vision regarding the operational “breakdown” of certain matters; he puts it to us in these words: “The way I see it is that the study of the primary world is science, of the secondary — folly.” — (Boy! Talk about your easily discouraged!)

***

And now for another item from: The Invisible Parallel Files Of Stuff Going On Right Under Your Nose: While emphasizing it
F-A-R too much, one man said, “I can’t emphasize this too much…”

…..As it struggled for air, one man’s mind cried out, “Never forget — a watered-down version is better than NO drowning at all.”

…..{…and from Kyroot’s Kitchen we have this culinary Q-tip: All collective info is just “info-helper.”}

***

One day, while doing cortical sit-ups, one man said to himself, “Promise me that when I do die, you won’t tell anybody.”
…(Exercise Tip: The difference between sweat and fresh thinking is all according to how you spell “enzymes,” and what muscles you’re trying to expand.)

***

A certain visitor to this lovely planet later noted, after leaving, “Methinks that more suspect what’s going on than actually care to know.”

***

One sincere city chap in his desire (as he put it) “not to waste any of that precious commodity called time that life has so lovingly provided,” decided that each and every day, weekends included, that he would come to at least one “meaningful conclusion.” (The problems became immediately apparent once it was realized that he couldn’t distinguish between “conclusions” and concussions.)

***

There was once another universe which believed that man was a creation OF alphabets and numbers.

***

Dialogue that only a reality itself could love — hell, let’s be honest — probably even tolerate: Guy says, “Happy is he who is silent,” and a voice says, “Hey, who said that?”

***

One boy who’d hung around a rebel camp for a while said he was kinda disappointed to find that being different wasn’t all that different. …(And the winner of this week’s lottery in one land said, “It’s almost unbelievable what people can think, can think, can think, 0709-4970.” …[But then again, just think: If eagles could think, they’d look around their immediacy and think: “How come no one but eagles live in eagles’ nests?”
…(And a fellow with a card four numbers off injects, “You’re giving me a headache again!”)])

***

The sequence of things/ Is the sequence of things;/ ‘Tis only the mind/ That schedules the trains.

…..{…an aspiring city thinker once mused: “If you lived right next to the tracks, you could never then be mistaken as to which way the trains were running.” …(And a big eight-wheeler rolling by exclaimed, “Woo-woo! Don’t you wish, cross-tie-breath — Woo-woo!”)}

***

When this one man would pass bookstores, the university, and the speakers-in-the-park, he would say to his mind, “Don’t ever be fooled by fancy words, strange theories and false prophets from without. Always remember — you’ve got me.” …(Medical follow-up for those mostly already out of the woods: There are two ways of making yourself feel better: One is to `make yourself feel better,’ and the other is to really make yourself feel better by leaving yourself alone, where appropriate.)

***

Once the plane was airborne and out of sight, the captain announced, “The protection of the ignorant is additional ignorance.” …(One guy’s synapses looked out over the edge and declared, “Hey, I ain’t going up in that thing!”)

***

The Advice Doctor and some correspondent seem to have acted out the following: “Dear Doctor: Why cannot the hereditary genetic line run in more than one direction?” and the doctor replied, “Who said it couldn’t?” to which the correspondent responded, “You mean you didn’t?!!…..Wait a minute! Have I already asked you this before?” and the good doctor began tapping the dial tone and shaking the jukebox as he muttered, “Who the hell tried to play B-17 again, anyway?!!” …(Oh, okay, for all the “serious” in the crowd, take it on like this: If progress does only go in one direction, then that would explain why it so often seems so constricted and timid, eh what. …[BUT — on the other-old-hand, let’s be reasonable: What sane general wants to fight a foe who has tanks that fly and ships that crawl all over you.])

***

One man said to all his closest friends and family, “The time has come for full admission: It’s H-A-R-D to get away from life!”

…..{…More cruise news: There are no buses leaving the primary world, so make your travel plans accordingly.}

***

Many people’s minds will lead them to where it believes fresh water may be found only to discover that the hormones of habit find such to be unpotable. …(As everyone’s collective thinking knows: Just because something is new doesn’t mean it’s better, and just because something is better doesn’t mean it’s better.)

***

In this one land, on this one world, in this one system this announcement was made: “Once the possibilities of `being human’ equal its limitations, your revolution can then begin.”

***

The rumor subtly persists that some realities — just as an entertainment for themselves and a few of their charges — continue to let out isolated voices telling what’s more-or-less really going on. …(Is that a hoot of a bruit, or what!)

***

One guy could make himself sick just by thinking about it; but then he said, “Ahh, I’m not really a `guy’ — I’m just a guy’s brain.” …(Note: “Truth-in-advertising” is only valuable in the secondary world [since it’s only there that it ever comes into question].)

***

Then just at the moment he about had it all figured out — the mirror looked back at him. …(And from the sweaty old mail pouch we extract the following letter from a viewer: “Dear Sir: Sometimes at the conclusion of one of your little stories or comments, I’m not sure whether I’m supposed to be encouraged or discouraged. Is this unusual, or will the colors finally `stabilize’ after a few washings?” Signed, “A `Standing-by-consumer, awaiting-word.'”)

…..{…One day, while just kinda engaged in a vague, perfunctory survey of his intellectual interstates, one guy pondered, “If you made a post script of page one L-O-N-G enough to run on into page two — what would you have then?” …(He later took a pocket knife to his toenails.)}

…..{…and then — (Yes, just right-about-then) a Special Delivery arrived with this message to our show: “My mind tells me not to watch your show.”}

…..{…would that last one have been “nicer” if I had added some postscript, punch-line like: “Hey, and can you believe it — it came with postage due?!!” …(If this continues a tutta prima to sound too abstruse, just check with the older city parts of your own mind and see if they still don’t like to have their spinach presented with at least the promise of ice cream to follow.)}

***

One man carried his own handcuffs with him everywhere he went…(just in case he ever found himself alone).

***

In the revolutionist’s world there are two kinds of seriousness: seriousness, and pseudo-seriousness; pseudo-seriousness is the kind of seriousness you can’t do anything about.

***

In the city, reasonable people believe they want to escape from family, friends, debts and responsibilities, while the revolutionists outside of town try not to waste good ammo at a crap shoot.

***

Over in city Cortex Square is a man who stops strangers and says to them, “Look at me — don’t you know me? I’m your old man — I’m your king — I’m the speaker in the park.”

***

The distinction between man’s world and the other forms of life on this planet is that he thinks there is one.

…..{…Oh, okay — the “big rig” version: The only distinction between man’s world and the other forms of life is that he thinks there is one.}

***

Double-Barreled News That The Gun Shy Can Use: “Not-taking-things-personally” can ruin both the holidays of the Celebration Of Sarcasm, and the Feast Of Info. …(And “A.V.” (Another Viewer) writes: “I am S-O-O sick of being confused that I am either going to quit watching your show, or else, start thinking for myself. So don’t say I didn’t warn you; now which will it be?” Signed, “A-man-who-knows-how-to-type.”)

***

{…And now for a combination penal and perambulation notice: Those who will not escape where and when it is possible do not deserve — no, make that — do not really want to escape.}

***

Once upon a myth-time, a man died and when he reached the gates of the afterlife he was told that if he was to gain entry to that part of the park he’d enjoy most, he had five seconds and one try to make a single admission of all things he’d done worthy of regret; the clock started to run, and he began to admit: “I rue all I thought that inhibited living, and all that I lived that inhibited thought.”

***

Once a man has some clear idea of where it’s all headed, he can then always safely say, “Sure, save me a seat — I’ll be along later.”

***