Jan Cox Talk 0916

Calling for Buddhism (and not a Buddha) Isn’t Independent Thought

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Summary

#916 Jan 3, 1992 – 1:00 
Notes by TK
Kyroot to :23. The ordinary man strives to be able to think independently, to be mentally creative. But he calls out for Buddhism and not Buddha; accepts grape soda for champagne, is satisfied with the collective while seeking the individual. Yet note that everything continues to progress and prosper a tempo.


The News

The attempt to “think independently” is akin to going for an individual swim with the oceans of the world chained to your leg.

***

Unused ad for The Revolutionist’s Candy Bar: “Informal On The Outside — Tricky Within” …(A later version adds, “Sometimes Covered In Silliness.”)

***

The king used to arrest everybody, ’til an efficiency expert showed him to just arrest their development.

…..{A mind is a terrible thing to overflow.}

***

This one reality just about quit talking to its creatures ’cause every time it’d tell them something interesting, they’d think he was talking about himself.

***

{Pretending to be serious, the ole man told the kid, “Sad to say, but truth is, my boy, anything you can already think about yourself is a gross-gross waste of time.” …(On some planets they throw out the garbage first!)}

***

{One of the daily park philosophers began and concluded his remarks by asking, “Why have you never heard of the `Quicksand Religion’?” and as the crowd was dispersing, someone further thought, “Or the Quicksand Party?” and someone else wondered, “Or the Quicksand Science?” and so it went — once the subject had been raised.}

***

{Tyrants remain popular literary subjects since everyone’s nervous system longs for one.}

***

At Evolving City College, the professor surveyed the scene his class represented: He (at least, literally) looked to the forward, then looked to the past, surveyed the immediate scene once again, and announced: “Either shut-up or zip-up.”
…(Tech-footnote: Trying to “move-knowledge-along” in a finite world requires more patience than it does strength, although neither is of any significance if you are actually stupid enough to know what you’re doing.)

…..{One man said he could tell when he was learning something new because he always felt insulted.}

***

{(And as per a Kyrootian view) — Ah, give us now our daily Fairy Tale: There was once a man who, after a lifetime of struggle and study suddenly understood what life is about and how humanity works, and as he stood to leave, said these words: “Man’s critical faculties — ah, yes — man’s critical faculties.” (And — “Poof!” — he was out of here.)}

***

{News Brief: It’s reported that as the gunman opened fire on the commas, several bystanders were injured.}

***

{After the initial commotion and hullabaloo regarding their arrival had subsided, one of the locals asked him, “Why do they call you `Wild Bob Gallop’ and your brother `Extremely Wild Bob’?” and he replied, “Why do you think?” (But none of the townsfolk really wanted to think about it all that much!)}

***

{At night, as he slept, one guy laid in a bundle; he enjoyed it so much that during the day time he began to live in a bundle.}

***

{The World Cup Philosophy Game came down to a match up between those who proclaimed the superiority of erasers and those supporting scissors and large paper cutters; (the crowd seemed underwhelmed).}

***

{…and Kyroot continued: The Royal Philosopher’s apprentice stood before the king and proclaimed, “My mind is like a merry-go-round.” His grace handed him a quarter and climbed on the brown spotted horsey. …(Monday’s fax pax brought a complaint from the Local Thinkers’ Union. They say we make F-A-R too much use of them in our stories when there is actually a higher proportionate number of bus drivers and vice presidents in life and available. [But — Hey-now! — let’s all remember: When only brains have feet, only brains can laugh at feet.])}

…..{After being unable to start a cult, this one guy started himself.}

***

{On his first day in stir, an old con took the kid aside and said, “Being in prison ain’t so bad — if you `just don’t care.'” And the lad thought, “Jail’s not that much different than how many see life.”}

***

{“Ah hah!” the man cried out, “I am at my best when I am at my worst!” and his wife, taking some new note, said, “S-a-y, didn’t you use to be in a fairy tale…and of a different sex?” and the man cried back — “Ah hah!” (…and Surgeon Kyroot prescribed: A man who would diagnose himself without benefit of well-trained and qualified seriousness is just “asking for it.”
…[“Nurse, quick — hand me that whoopie-enema-bag.”])}

***

{Anthropological Update Seven: There are tribes of unknown people all around you.}

***

{Then there was this other reality who used to “sing to its creatures” and — (bless their little hearts) — they all imagined they were humming to themselves. …(And Kyroot added: The sound of blood and life has been mistaken for many things, but never for what-it-is.)}

***

{The public hours of the Botanical Gardens were extended to five-thirty, so this guy walked up to me and said, “If there was a final, conclusive answer in life there wouldn’t be two sides to a piece of paper.” (What can you say to a man after that? Especially at that time of day.)}

***

According to one theory, cows originally produced fertilizer for man just as a joke.

***

{…and nearing “beddy-time,” Kyroot read a story: In a place far, far away (at least far enough so that you won’t take the tale personally) lived a man who, after finally realizing what the revolution was actually about — left. And thus, according to their mythology, was their first religion born.}

***

{The ole, On-The-Outskirts-Of-Town Philosopher told a group of passing tourists: “Life’s not yet all that interested in protecting its intellectual investment — just look at the number of good-looking women who still take up with stupid men.”}

***

{…and Mr. K. said: One guy’s mind gave him more trouble than did other peoples’ — Hah!! — that is, until the day he realized the connection between the two. Hah!!!}

***

All by himself, this one kid figured out, “In many words, if you’ll put in an `a’ where an `e’ should go, you’ll have a whole different ball game.” (He was given to sports analogies.) just what in the hell this meant.
***

{The Chief Of Thinking About Things told the convention (including guests and families), “If the workings of the mind were as straightforward as the operations of the liver, then it would be comprehensible.”}

…..{In this one land they would only recognize “distinguished visitors” if they weren’t all that distinguished.}

***

{…and the masked Kyroot said: As people move closer together, more predictions are forthcoming. …(There was once a king who had a Soothsayer who only sayed good sooths; he ain’t got him any more.)}

***

{…and Chef Kyroot made note: Even in the most vocal, front ranks of progressive city affairs, life is so arranged that men call out for caviar while actually only wanting some peanut butter and jelly.}

***

Everybody wants to “get out of town” while everyone’s own thinking remains the unrecognized City Limits sign. (…and Kyroot said: One day, for your benefit, I started to write to myself and ask why so much otherwise useful and positive rebel news ends up sounding rather negative — but someone beat me to it, plus, I’m sure it’s no longer necessary, since you’ve begun to see how things around Polarville are actually, inescapably arranged. [So much for that.])

***

There was this one man who’d only take credit for things he had really thought of himself: (He did this in secret…which was just as well…)

***

{In lands where they keep no scores, there are no scores. (P.S.: Such lands would be short one dimension.)}

***

{One guy had a theory — he called it “his theory”; his theory was that if you finally talked about everything in the world, none of it would matter any more. (Yes, he called it “his theory.”)}

***

{Only humans “press on” when it’s not necessary. (“Hey!” yelled out a bunch of trees, squirrels, and people, “Is this more fault-finding, or what?!” — Why, I thought you’d never ask!
…[See, it’s all a little joke — within a joke… within a joke… inside another joke, you see.])}

***

During some of the private, quality time he would spend alone with himself, this one reflectively-given chap’s mind said to no one in particular, “Wanting to `go down in history’ is sort of like wanting a better looking nose — not exactly — but close enough.”

***

{Advice For Our Times: When your reality has to start wearing glasses and a hearing aid — look out!!}

***

{Once this one guy personally understood the use of the objective and subjective cases, some of his ideas fell apart, and others came together.}

***

{In one household, every morning before the ole man would awake, the kid would slip to his bedside and whisper in his ear, “Now let this be a lesson to you — let this be a lesson to you,” so that when the elder did arise, his first words were always, “Now let this be a lesson to you…” etc.}

***

{At a very early age, one kid thought to himself, “When I grow up I can either be an artist, a scientist, or an idiot.”}

***

{…and Kyroot said: “Now for our humorous Fairy Tale of the day”: Long ago and far ago, when the creatures of this one land would get all curious and anxious and wanted to go searching for answers and stuff, their reality would keep ’em in line and everything calm by sending them off on the roads of Sincerity and Seriousness.}

***

{For the official state ceremony commemorating The Twentieth Anniversary Of His Inauguration, the king dressed up as a cheeseburger.}

***

{Over in the city a man sought employment with the Postal Service, but in his continuing attempt to “improve himself” he insisted he be given the route covering the University and Science Institute. …(In another part of town, as he sat watching his foot, amidst the swill, in the gutter, another chap thought, “Who — What — Okay, Who, but the collective-thinking of man could ever come up with the idea of a `Public Library’?”
…[He kicked around at the slop and dreamed of Goethe and clean restrooms.])}

***

In spite of, and right after, his visit to the city Psychic Tailor the man realized, “Even a mind `re-fitted’ is still just a mind.”

…..{…And the ole man of the forest told the little woody ones, “Save your money, children; for that which you can afford — won’t work, and that which you can only dream of won’t either.” (And they all saved until the day it didn’t matter.)}

***

Those peoples most passionately embrace tyranny who most fear their own thoughts and freedom; thus can you account for an individual man’s fanaticism. (In man, as in life, the motto remains — “Safety First.”)

***

{…a viewer writes: “Dear Kyroot: Recently you said (or had said for you): `There’s no accounting for taste — unless you can count to two,’ which I thought informative, if not clever, until I thought about the place down the street that offers 26 flavors — and I thought, `Hummmm,’ until my brother-in-law noted that there were still only 25 flavors you couldn’t order, so, never mind. Semi-Gratefully Yours,” etc.}

***

By some reports, there is one city so progressive that they’ve ceased giving buses and exceptionally sharp people (when they can spot them) individual names.

***

{The guy and his dog agreed, “Everybody’s in charge of something.” Then the guy and his brain agreed; then the guy’s brain and pancreas did, and so-on — up and down the line (according to how you look at it).}

***

{After being a lifelong student and critic of life and after graduating from City Philosophy College, this one guy graced the world by offering his: He says life amounts to “up, down, up, down; turn it off, turn it on; up, down, up, down — and like that.”}

***

On this one world the most vigorous struggle was between two groups, the first one who claimed that “Great ideas are born — not made,” and the second, who said that the first was “full of noxious swamp gas.”

…..{And a kid asked his apparent ole man why everyone seemed to believe that there is a struggle of some sort going on in the midst of man the species.}

***

During the better part of the last twenty-two months, one man has been quietly thinking to himself that if he could just get his mind to quit “mouthing off” to him about the absurdity of other people’s words that it might be able to actually tell him something. …(Engine update-cum-potential recall notice: Without corresponding effort, those who hope, wish, and believe that their best thinking will finally “straighten itself out” had best not hold their breath without lungs the size of Paul Bunyan’s bagpipes. …[It seems a shame to end again on what may sound like a cynical note — but Hey! — you are humans and I gotta stop somewhere.])

…..{…and a correspondent writes: “I personally no longer have any problem with — nor objection to — any sarcasm, taunting, sneering, or criticism of any kind directed toward me; you see — I’m dead, so fuck you; fuck you one and kindly-all. Sincerely Yours, One-who-once-cared-but-came-to-his-senses.”
…(The surprise question on the City Seminary’s Senior Class final exam was: “What is the sound of cemeteries situated in closets?” …[A visiting professor in the Anthropology Department brings a tale of a tribe he discovered who are so behind modern times that they still confuse coat hangers for neural synapses. …(And the Associate Choir Director reported, “Gag me with reliable tenure.”)])}

***

{When they told this one guy that thirty was too much, he immediately went to forty.}

***

{The kindly professor addressed the nine o’clock class thusly: “Sports are to the body as education is to your pocketbook,” and a kindly student said, “Don’t you have that wrong?” and the kindly professor said, “How would you know.”}

…..{…and Kyroot noted: I am reminded of a viewer who once wrote and asked if we ever had any post scripts or addendums left over that we weren’t using.}

***

{Our Religious Thought For The Day: A man on the corner with a sign said, “Who shall speak for life?” and a life on the man with a corner said, “Who shall speak for signs?” and a sign on the life with a man said, “W-h-o-‘-s b-e-e-n sleeping on my corner?…” …(“Yes, friends and neighbors, for each kind donation you receive not only the sacred biscuit, but a personalized message from me — yes, me. Which says, `Only god can bite himself on the ass.’ Thank you, friends and neighbors — thank you so much.” …[A contortionist in Dublin disputes this claim.])}

***

One reality told some of its creatures, “Being human is nothing to be ashamed of.”

…..{…and Kyroot added: Still waiting for the punch line, eh?!!}

***

For many years, over on a certain planet of both Metaphor and Reality, they believed that their desire to go to Mount Olympus could only be realized if they understood the allegorical significance of “Mount Olympus.” The few revolutionists of that world knew better; they knew the trick lay in perceiving the correct meaning of the word “go.”

***

{Some people waited ’til the last minute based on one man’s theory that if enough did, the last minute would never come.}

…..{…one of Kyroot’s young nephews once had a notion that “anything you don’t understand goes too fast.”}

***

{Being the sensitive sort he was, whenever the phone would ring, before he’d answer it, he’d run over and turn down the heat. …(In “decent” lands, the graves of the delicate and susceptible are easily distinguished.)}

***

{…and Kyroot announced, “Question & Answer Time”: Question: Since they were out of town and no one could see them, all the ducks ordered pork sandwiches. Answer: Digestion goes wherever you go. …(A man in the studio audience says, “I don’t like it.”)}

***

{One guy used to have a special little something he’d do for all occasions; now he says he’s just interested in having occasions.}

…..Progress goes by many names, but “ordinary views” is not one of them.

***

{As he began to find himself more attractive in the secondary light, this one man had a growing desire to “slip around and see himself.”}

***

{A kid said to an ole man, “Don’t you care what I think of you?” “No,” he replied. And the kid asked, “Is that due to your understanding or your age?” “Guess,” he replied.}

…..{…and in an adjoining recipe, Kyroot told of a world where everybody guessed at everything — but since they had no word for “guess,” no one ever noticed… …(I guess).}

***

{One guy summed it up — “My thinking drifts.”}

***

Truth be-known — the kid that everyone normally has was borrowed.

***

{…and helping spread gossip and rumors, Kyroot told this little tale: Late one night, just he and a young rebel recruit around a dying campfire, an old subversive sergeant poked at the ashes and mused aloud, “Which do you suppose is the hardest: Trying to make sense out of life when you don’t know what it means — or, trying to make it sound like it makes sense after you do know what it means?” (Poke, poke.)}

***

{…and Kyroot offered: Once you understand the reality of the set-up, everything else becomes a punch-line.}

***

He stood in his field and cried out, “I’m receiving — I’m receiving,” and life shouted back, “I’m a’sendin’ — I’m a’sendin’.”

***