Everything Known, Even by Experts, Is Just Opinion
Summary = See below
Condensed News Items = See below
News Item Gallery = jcap 1991-07-03 -0903
Transcript = None
Key Words =
Summary
#903 Dec 4, 1991 – 1:00
Notes by TK
Kyroot to :33. The only traditions recognized and honored by the City are dead ones. The mind has always had a distrust of its own workings (opinions, Points of View’s) and this is prime proof of the health of the Secondary Level World, not the contrary. The Primary Level World knows what to do and can’t talk about it while the Secondary Level World can talk about it but doesn’t know what to do. Telling What-Kind-of-Guy-I-Am is held to be reprehensible on a basis of quantity (i.e., doing it too much, too often or too abrasively) but not on a basis of quality. It is unheard of that it never be used, or for no reason. Everything that everyone knows, even “experts”, is just their opinions.
The News
One neural gun-fighter put a golden bullet in the first chamber, a silver in the second, a lead in the third, and so on.
***
Explorer’s tip: If they begin to ration events, take care; if they begin to ration thoughts — run for your top-notch life.
***
From the lifting of a cup, to the invasion of a country; from the caress of a lover, to the reflection on ideas — opposing forces control and prevail.
***
Getting confused is easy; getting UN-confused is even EASIER — just don’t think about it! …(Remember: Free advice has no moral! …[Which may be why so many people talk to them self].)
***
{…a chap sitting next to his TV set, taking all this in, told his cousin-in-law from out of town, “You better watch it; when that guy talks about people ‘talking to themselves,’ he don’t mean what everybody else means by it.” (The cousin nodded; what else can a poor relative do?!!)}
***
Thoughts have a pulse and temperature.
***
On his forty-fifth birthday, just to, as he put it, “Clear the air, and get things straight,” he climbed on top of his world’s highest mountain and shouted — mightily shouted, “O-h-h-h, how I hate anything new!!!”
***
Every day, for a while, this one chap would sing a particular song to himself; and while the melody was not original, he took the words from another tune and imposed them thereon; he did this until he began composing himself.
***
Then there was this other guy who offered to drive himself crazy. …(and a voice arises and says, “I resent being called an ‘other guy.'”)
***
In attempting to give verbal breath to the glory of finite fairness, one ole man told the kid, “Around here, the percentages favor the mathematicians, and around here, the mathematicians don’t play.”
***
In the non-sequential world of the revolutionist, once you’ve destroyed all possible paths of retreat you realize there were none.
***
One man says he’s now trying to live a condensed version of his ordinary life.
***
In this one place, the results of I.Q. tests are based on body odor. …(And as always, your local consultants, Rand & McNearly, remind me to remind you not to try this at home.)
***
Someone left a note on our doorstep that reads: “I’m as upset at the international banking community as the next person, but I still see no justification for you using music as a metaphor.” Signed, “A Friend”.
***
A “sense-of-reality” is not much of a reality…unless that’s all you’ve got; …(and if that’s all you’ve got, be advised:…)
***
Sometimes when he was alone with some of his “creature-buds”, this one god would break down and tell them personal anecdotes: He made ’em up, but he told them some just the same.
***
While never telling anyone else, he decided, “The only way to do this will be to vacuum the spot every thirty minutes.”
***
“Attention, city shoppers: All harmless tales, and inspirational parables came from the Paint Department. That is all; carry on.”
***
The speaker on the east corner declared, “No man can stand on his own shoulders,” and his counterpart across the way rejoined, “Yet no real man will settle for less.” (The population as a whole decided that this just about covered the matter.) …A passing king asked why I hadn’t used him in this story, him being so near-by and available and all; okay: A man who can intellectually “crown himself” would have to stand on his own shoulders.
***
A rich guy stopped by the studios and left this message, “Regarding your comment that, ‘The rich don’t need proverbs,’ may I tell you that that is one of the reasons we get rich!” (As Mary and the Lamb waited for their drinks to calm down, the wooly one mused, “Maybe we should change it to say, ‘Never shoot a rich man who’s just taken a laxative,'” and the bartender looked up and said, “Hey don’t look at me — I’m overextended already.”)
***
One ole city sorehead says that it seems to him that men invented religion and psychology so that they’d have somebody else to hate besides themselves.
***
Intensity is a seasoning that can lift most any dish — except a fallen souffle, which it simply helps flatten.
***
{…and a concussion — (I suspect that should be conclusion) — unrelated, but left over from an earlier train, states:} “Helping stupidity along is not much help.”
***
One man said that, “Praise be the gods,” when he died he planned to “go back home”. (Does anyone know where this man believes he’s been for the last fifty years?!!)
***
One man couldn’t speel worth a damn.
***
On city streets, everyone has a grudge; most just think of it as their “reason for living”. …(Fair enough.)
***
One synaptic over-pass gave a temporary bridge this hint: “If you look like you’re from out of town they’ll believe you’re from out of town.”
***
One guy, secretly to himself, began all sentences with the word “apparently” and concluded them with a question mark, tilted forty-five degrees.
***
Under the desire to move, many people will just back their train up.
***
Proverb recall, revise, and update: Under city conditions, familiarity can breed like a virus on steroids.
***
A gentleman writes to our program to say: “As a modern, well read person, I have for some time been intrigued with the notion of a ‘Catch-22’, the idea of a ‘damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t’ situation — that is, until I suddenly realized they were simple plagiarism of the revolution. Whaddya think of that.”
***
According to one, once-upon-a-time tale over in another universe, one man decided to “re-define” all the deadly sins, but choked to death when he got to “Seriousness”.
***
At the Ole Sorehead’s Bi-Monthly Ball, the band leader says the most requested dance number for the third time in a row was “Even A One Legged Man Can Trip”. (And a’one and a’two, and ah, who do I have to sue?…)
***
One guy moved; he said it was cheaper than changing his name. (“Hey, wait a minute,” cries a viewer, “didn’t you just recently…” — ‘Hey wait-a-minute’ my ass! Heads up! Heads up! Heads up!)
***
In one certain reality, (that some serious commentators were given to calling “flimsy”), they used the term “adult entertainment” to refer to the pleasures of being “all grown up”. (Nothing-Like-A-Moral: Those who’ve never been to Persia just hate it.)
***
“I knew I was getting somewhere,” said one guy, “when I suddenly realized that even I wasn’t in my ‘own league.'”
***
And from a viewer: “I realize I’m several months behind in writing this, but something you recently said still bothers me; what would be wrong in a man who realizes he’s losing his hair going out and buying glasses? Could this be any worse than wasting a physic on the condemned?!! Beyond this minor concern, I must say that I find you quite informative and interesting, even if I have no idea what you’re talking about, or why you’re doing it. (My brother says that’s why I like your show — because it reminds me of me.) Yours Turly — I mean, Truly,” etc.
***
The closer you get to the end, the more some people will say, “I smell smoke…or something…”
***
One guy seemed to have had a fit, and when those closest to him were asked if it were so, they said that they were too close to him to make an objective evaluation; (and somebody’s darling ole brain hollered out to ask, “Say, are you actually talking ‘minds’ here?”)
***
One of the near-by city’s “city-intellectual-critics” says that “All great thinkers have some small, meaningless disability;” like a spelling weakness; a typing disorder, or a bladder-control problem. (He assures us that in his bringing up the subject there are no vestiges of any self-interest involved.
***
Only the finite world, as seen by sequential eyes, makes any sense…and it doesn’t. (As His Excellency came striding through the portal, the butler by the door [you know, the one in charge of yelling out announcements], yelled out, “Make way — we’re proud to have with us at the party tonight…”)
***
Although he had already told himself for the last time, he still kept his ears peeled, and slept with a knife by the bed.
***
When told that his bite was worse than his bark, one guy concluded that this was because his pain was greater than his wound; (you see, as a psychological, he was childishly abused.) …And a viewer writes: “Hey, don’t look at me: I’m not gonna waste my time in pointing out the obvious to one who obviously chooses to ignore it — or at least, by-pass it.”
***
Another in our “Ole One-Two” feature: A man with no talent can go far; and why not?!!
***
More of the sub-atomics of the uncodified realms: Only the secondary world believes in a definable “justice”; without this curiosity the singular world of man would be no more than an abattoir with a dress code. …(“And so much,” said the doctor, “for gravity’s effect on seriousness.”)
***
One guy got married to himself; he says it’s easy once you become somebody.
***
Then, returning his trousers to their original position, the professor said, “The only tolerable tradition is a dead tradition.” “Does that,” asked a student, “account in part for history’s popularity?” “For some,” he replied, “for some, ‘A-some-o.'”
***
Trying to have the last laugh is no different than getting the first one for the man causing the laughter. …(From our viewing audience a gentleman writes: “My mind will not some times digest what you say; but I can’t eat liverwurst either.”)
***
If it were re-packaged, even more people might enjoy the revolution than understand it. (There is indeed a certain “trickiness” to comprehending that which is nipping at the heels of your faculty of comprehension.)
***
To “save money”, this one guy saved money. (He says it’s a trick he learned from finiteness.) …(Oh, by-the-bye, for those still yearning for extraordinary assistance: A three dimensional reality has no quadruple secrets. …[“Hey, Ethel, he did say a three dimensional ‘reality’, didn’t he, and not ‘mind’?” “Yes, Herb.” “Thank god.”])
***
After being informed that he would “definitely die” — this one guy left town. …(For some reason, this reminds me of that old painting of a particular reality that would jump up on its own back, and yell, “Follow that cab!”)
***
The speaker in the park proclaimed, “Everybody would still like to be a baby if they had some really great grown person in charge of them,” and several people in the crowd joined together in an ad hoc choir and sang out, “Where have all the great grown-ups gone?…” and the speaker’s aunt, just in town for the weekend, hollered back this inquiry to the singers, “Is this a comment on the present state of parenthood, or our continuing inefficiency at internally creating our own?” …(Even some of those not listening to all of this were taken aback [if not set aside].)
***
There was this one reality that was never sure exactly where it was going next; thus it always went somewhere. …(And that same ole loud-head says, “I still wanna know if you’re actually talking about man’s mind, and not all this other junk!!”)
***
{…and a viewer — (and previous “letter-writer”) — writes:} “My offer still stands if you can use ‘dichotomy’ just one more time in a rhyme.” (Don’t you just l-o-v-e a challenge, especially when it’s meaningless. …[And a fellow, high-on-the-mountain, and deep-in-the-sea, says he finds it unseemly to hear challenges made light of; he says “challenges” are what’s made the world what it is today. (He says he “rests his case”.)])
***
One man sometimes thinks that shadows are actually large, scary creatures; (he said he practiced when he was young by taking what he thought as being actual thoughts.)
***
Another quiz, un-arising in the normal trunk-lines of man’s communications network: Why do men grunt, shout and sing songs as they go about physical exertions? Answer: So they won’t lose their place. …(Side note: This last one made one viewer so mad he refused to write us. [Side-saddle note: There was once a man whose respectable density made him so mad he refused to respect it. …(Hey, keep that upper bunk open, looks like another recruit may be on the way.)])
***
“It’s weird,” said a guy who’d been hanging out around some apparent revolutionists, just outside of town, “but the better I begin to feel, the more I understand things,” and his friend skeptically asked, “Are you sure that’s so?” and the guy replied, “Well, I’m sure that I’m no longer so concerned over all the things I don’t understand — does that count?” (“Hanging out” can seem like harmless fun — unless you over do it.)
***
After killing and cutting up the king, the people still retained sufficient civility and respect for the royal office that when they mailed out his little pieces in envelopes, they sent him First Class.
***
{…every time he returned home, this one man would say to himself, “So, it’s you again.”}
***
“Well sure,” said the wily consumer, “if fans weren’t cheaper in the winter time why would cold weather both to come around at all?!!”
***
{…the actual anti-freeze of the mind is not the product commonly available.}
***
{…a loose fragment of one man’s mind says it hates it when someone tries to make stuff sound like it’s connected to other stuff.}
***
{…his cousin, however, holds to the contrary view.}
***
{…and a gentleman with certain leanings writes: “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard of a relative named ‘However’…”}
***
{…on a more respectable note, another viewer recently expressed his own sentiments by saying that despite our show’s sometimes “pseudo seriousness”, he believes that at some level it might actually be serious. …(You know, the best thing about correspondence you can’t respond to is not having to respond to it. …[And yet another piece of another man’s mind said, “I was going to say that very same thing about certain parts of our mental operations.”] …It remains fascinating, the number of dogs you can still get through the keyhole even after the kennel is closed for the night.)
***
Another Brief History of Man: At the end of each day, many scores are posted, but it was all the same game.
***
Accosting me near what was previously a No Accosting Zone, a man told me that after much effort, he’d got life “down pat” just in time to discover that life was not Irish. (He apologized for such a “cheap joke” but explained that he was recently unemployed and was having to cut back on expenses.)
***
To stay respectable you must stay alert; (same for being provincial and dense, just not so much sweat required.) (Far away and long ago and far away, there was a man who once wondered, “Why is it that if you life in River City and you don’t want to stay there that it still requires effort to stay there?” …[Late at night he would sometimes cry out, “Does any body know what I’m talking about?!!])
***
{…the only reason that some places have a bus station is so you’ll think you can get away.}
***
{…a viewer writes: “My brother likes those long, complex and convoluted Kyroots, while I, my own sweet-self, lean toward the short, pithy ones.”}
***
Nap-time tale for nefarious nippers: There was once a man who, when hungry would eat; when sleepy would sleep, and when dopey, would have a snack and go to bed.
***
{…and one guy thought: “You know, it looks like any body could understand this stuff.” …”Hey,” he said, “I can’t believe I said that.”}
***
{…seizing the moment, (and a marked-down kumquat), one fellow asks, “Say is it something like this: that the primary knows what to do, but can’t talk about it, and the secondary can talk about it, but doesn’t know what to do? Huh? Huh? Is it?” Sort of, sir — sort of. (By the way, I just told him that to get rid of him, so that w-e-e could “be alone”.)}
***
{…and also, (apparently in a clutching mode), a by-stander looked at his brain, then looked at his brain-apparatus, and said, “Not with my hand-&-daughter you don’t!”}
***
{…and another viewer says he doesn’t think we have n-e-a-r enough complaints about the incomprehensibility of this stuff — or that if we do, we sure ain’t lettin’ ’em see the light of day. …(“Help, help, I can’t breathe down here.” “Hey! Who said that? …No, wait, I don’t want to know.”)}
***
Playing with your mind can be a most questionable hobby; (especially if your face breaks out and gives you away.) …and in a pith-of-a-fit, some chap just called the station to complain, saying that’s what the intellect is for, (and also noting that his own countenance is pockmarked from a childhood case of chicken-dithers, and nothing else.)
***
One guy used to scoff and say to himself, “You can’t fool me,” (and himself got the biggest laugh over this.)
***
{…Moral: What is family for?!!}
***
Only the ordinary can prove what they say.
***
{…that which tells you too much doesn’t tell you enough.}
***
{…there was once a horse who tried to explain his equestrian nature to a quadratic equation; they both became confused.}
***
{…words one ole man gave a kid to “live by”: “Wait ’til you get off the bus to stick your tongue out at the driver.”}
***
{…and a man wrote the Advice Doctor: “Can you be confused if you won’t admit you are?” …(One local reality confided to a bud, “Sometimes I fear that if these creatures keep on talking they might finally figure out at least the parts that talk covers.” He glanced out the window, spat in his beer, and concluded, “Naw!”)}
***
One guy says the only thing that frightens him now is being alone with himself when no one else is watching. (If you ask me, he looks like the kinda guy that enjoys a good fright.)
***
{…there’s a person out there who says they really like our show, but still concludes by saying that I still talk about far too much stuff.}
***
In the next apartment a man said, “Opinions are just like oatmeal — except lumpier.”
***
Thanking us for our informative assistance, this one man now says that without any doubt his greatest mistake has been in believing that what others say was meant to be taken seriously.
***
One guy asked the smartest part of his own brain, “If there wasn’t a way out — you’d tell me, wouldn’t you?!!” …(Have you ever seen a brain grin?!!) …and a viewer writes, “Why is it that even the worst parts of what you say sometimes make me feel so good?” …(“Hey listen,” said a brain, “if there was any more to this than this, wouldn’t I tell you?!!”) May we all now turn in our hymnals to that old favorite song of praise, “Fat Chance”.
***
As regards the future of human affairs: You don’t have to be a pessimist to prove you know nothing — just serious.
***