Metaphors Erroneously Accepted as Satisfying Conclusions
Summary = See below
Condensed News Items = See below
News Item Gallery = jcap 1990-08-13 -0752
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#752 * Jan 11, 1991 * – 1:10
Notes by TK
Kyroot to :10. Parables, metaphors, symbolic, non-literal thinking are man’s (admirable) attempt at superior, objective thinking, to think with greater insight and expansiveness. But polarizing conflict is still at the heart of such thought since it is assumed that metaphors are different than what they represent. Men take thought to be distinct from the thing; thus it is in a kind of competition with the thing and attempts to rise above the thing’s reality, but thought cannot rise above what it is in endless, seamless continuum with.
Thoughts are taken to be metaphors for things. What if all thinking/words are metaphors…for some other thinking? Consider: all of life might be a metaphor for another life!! Wouldn’t this explain a lot! Metaphors are accepted by men as satisfying conclusions, which they are not.
Header: THINKING ACCORDING TO LOCAL ELECTRICAL CODES
Subheader: Won’t Mean That Your Brain CAN’T Burn Down
“Remember”, reminded the guy dressed like the captain, “Just because something’s not working is no reason not to use it.”
Thinking according to local Electrical Codes won’t mean that your brain CAN’T burn down.
This one ole guy used to have such fits that his advisor told him he should become an advisor.
The reason the road out of town seems to get smaller as it reaches the horizon has nothing to do with the laws of perspective.
Although I’ve never mentioned it before, there’s another little planet whereon in races, the horses run backwards, which is all right since they have to pay off all the losers.
Header: THIS ONE CHAP WHEN HE WOULD COME TO THE END OF A PAGE
Subheader: Would Oftimes Turn It
As an experiment, (and unbeknownst to his friends), this one ole man replaced his hearing aid with a tiny FM receiver permanently tuned to a Heavy Metal station; after several years of this arrangement he told me the words, “experiment” was no longer adequate.
In a case of finding-the-right-audience, this one fellow, whenever he thought he might be full of shit, would say, “Now you might think I’m full of shit…” – and he was correct.
For some the worst is in considering the alternative.
This one chap when he would come to the end of a page, would oftimes turn it.
(What a chap.)
It’s hard to live on the edge when you’re full; if you think there are two ways of taking this you’re half right.
Header: TO BE FUNNY IN THE CITY YOU GOTTA KNOW ALL THE
Subheader: And Then Forget What They Mean
While “waiting for his dream boat to come in”, this one man abruptly and unaccountably began to smell like Herman Melville on a hot day.
To be funny in the City you gotta know all the short-cuts, and then forget what they mean.
In lieu, I suppose of an ordinary hobby, this one man instead saved all the thoughts he’d ever had.
One guy confides, “I don’t guess I fell guilty enough to ever be thoroughly respectable.”
A gentleman in West Somewhere writes to say that although he has purchased a quite expensive, multi-volume encyclopedia of music, and has completely read same several times, he still cannot carry a tune…he demands to “know what’s going on here”?
Header: IF YOU PLAY SOME OF THE DAILY NEWS BACKWARDS
Subheader: They Make Just As Much Sense
The telegram from the booking agent to the traveling troupe read:
“WHEN ADVERTISING THE HIPPO’S ACT IN MOUSEVILLE MIGHT USE DESCRIPTION SUCH AS, ‘A SUBTLE AND SAFE PERFORMANCE’ STOP.
CAN’T GUARANTEE SUCCESS BUT WORTH A TRY STOP.”
On a certain star the current wisdom says that the enthusiasm for mental stability has noticeably subsided, while on her sister planet they hold jus the opposite.
“When it doesn’t matter everybody and his brother’s an expert.”
“Would you give us an example of the exceptions to this?”
“I don’t know of any.”
Then there was this other guy who used to yell, “OWWWIE”, even when he wasn’t hurt, just he said, because he didn’t care.
Another happy viewer writes, “My brother-in-law’s youngest boy says that if you play some of the Daily News backwards they make just as much sense.”
Header: ANYONE WITH A “MODEST REQUEST”
Subheader: Ain’t Got Much Of A Request
Anyone with a “modest request” ain’t got much of a request.
On this one world, a group who called themselves, “Hard-Nosed, Steel-Eyed Sparten-Realists”, (but whome I’ve asked you not to spell “whom” with an “e”, but who their mothers called Billy, Gustave and Spanky), these guys have as their motto: “Nothing ventured, Nothing gained, They’ve not run who’ve not be lamed.” (My personal opinion is that their mothers didn’t call them often enough.)
There is this place where it is easier to lose weight than it is to eat ice cream and jellied doughnuts; trouble is the place you are now won’t tell you where THIS place is.
A couple of kings were chatting over their G & T’s, and one noted, “Taking away the people’s weapons won’t relieve them of their angers and frustrations”, and the other throne-warmer sucked on his lime slice and replied, “That may be, but I’ve discovered that at least taking away the people’s weapons will relieve them of their weapons.”
If you’re going to see at all in the Revolutionist sense, you’ve got to look at least a bit beyond the temporal edge; such would be a “near 5-D view”.
Header: EVERYONE’S BEST ADVICE THEY SAVE FOR THEMSELVES
Subheader: (Sad To Say – Har Har)
One afternoon one ole man offered his kid this parting advice in hopes that one day he’d part, “Me lad, even when times are tough don’t believe that a spider will tell a fly, ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t afford a parlor’.”
In one universe they called it the, “G.E.” – the Great Experience, and when the marriage broke up, just so’s not to waste the already monogrammed towels the aggrieved, departing party began to refer to it as the “Great Expanse.” (Certain relationships when rent prove more productive than any arithmetic progression might suggest.)
Everyone’s best advice they save for themselves…(sad to say – har har.)
As the people ran from the City its Institutional Voice cried out after them, “The truth hurts”, and they all replied – “So does everything else.”
The Commissioner announced to the assembled, “I regret to tell you, but as long as ten remains larger than nine there will be those who will take advantage of the numerical system.
Header: BEING ABLE TO READ BETWEEN THE LINES
Subheader: Cuts Down On The Number Of Liners Normally Required
When he heard it said that “Life requires only lackluster thinking”, this one fellow glanced about – pondered for a moment, then murmured, “Gads, what an efficient arrangement.”
On another world they have a sport called, “Hit Or Miss”, and from this bit of info if you can figure out what it is you could probably play the game.
There was another chap who, as evidence of his independence from, “The tyrannical grip of spurious culture”, would whenever hearing Mozart, cry out in apparent disdain – “What the hell was that?”
After hearing one impressive citizen say, “If you know how rich you are, you’re not really rich”, this one guy thought, “Praise-be-to-Mergatroid this isn’t applicable to intelligence.”
Being able to read between the lines cuts down on the number of lines normally required.
One day one ole man sat and suddenly thought, “Might I – as the ‘Ole Man’ – be little more than a metaphor for resignation and decay?” (He awaited the kid’s reassuring interjection…it proved to be an extensive wait.)