Jan Cox Talk 0398

No One Can Do The Stuff They Feel Guilty About


AKS/News Item Gallery = jcap 1988-09-26 (0398)
Condensed AKS/News Items = See Below
Summary = See Below
Diagrams = See Below
Transcript = See Below

 Diagram # 186 video grab

Diagram # 186 video grab


9/28/88 0398
Notes by WB

There are those who primarily live in their head.
There are those who visit…
Those who live there find it hardest to ‘look around.’
Watching out: look around not at object–Red circuit person being told that, would see it as obvious; Yellow circuit person would marvel at it–could take it as religious/martial arts, etc..People who pray are head visitors mostly because prayer helps focus yellow circuit activity.

Guilt–City def: feeling you should have behaved in certain way–nay nay, Guilt is the feeling you have when you should have done something, but then at that time it was impossible. Man suffers over the inevitable yet each NS knows that it wasn’t inevitable.
Everyone feels guilty–you believe you can do the thing but NS knows it can’t be done. Ie. No one can do that which they feel guilty about.

Institutions can’t do what they purport to do. They are protective element between action and goal–layers of fat–they extend the available energy–prolong it.
No such thing as world-wide phenomena–we each have our own Dark Ages…

And Kyroot Said…

A Real Revolutionist can’t worry about always letting his
engine warm-up.


In the City your safest travel rule should be: Don’t wander
off alone, or with other people.


It would seem that you haven’t fully explored, and
experienced the possibilities of a thing until, while examining
it, you drop and break it. (Are we talking only about actual


In the City they’ll ask you what it means even if they don’t


Only the inferior get mad.


No, I never said that CO2 was Larry’s brother-in-law…


No matter what they may try and make you believe otherwise,
trust me: If you’re in debt, you ain’t really rich.


Remember: Over in the City EVERYthing’s contagious.


One rather tall fellow pronounced, “I’m sorry, but I can’t
afford to be stupid… I refuse to go any further into debt.”


If it makes you tense and angry, it ain’t a hobby.


History’s only interesting after it’s over.


All criticism is pissing on a urine stain.

Even god wouldn’t fool with people he didn’t like.


More City, Complex Logic Queries: Which is the funniest,
the comment regarding an athlete’s lack of intellectual prowess,
or the speaker making such a comment? (P.S. If you had to think
about this, YOU’RE in the running.)


The hidden patterns in the chaos can only be seen through
the holes.


There’s a Man who lives in Lisbon, and Baghdad who knows
where everyone is.


Back in the City a guy was playing around with a dog, and
kinda mumbling to himself in pleasure, complimented god on making
such a delightful creature, “Great job,” he said, “of course
that’s just MY opinion…” he thought for a moment, then added,
“but you SHOULD be impressed — YOU gave it to me.”


In any open-ended Olympic gathering, never bet against the
Armenian Tickling Team.


One curious fellow, about eighty-five years back said, “To
know there IS a secret is to know half of it,” yeah, yeah, but
who’s noticed it lately?


In the City do it like this: First announce your specific
plans (for both you and your listeners to consider). Secondly:
Begin to immediately work on your upcoming explanation as to why
the plans weren’t fully executed (like pointing out how an
intellectual person like yourself is always altering plans as
unfolding circumstances may wisely dictate…) Yeah, that’s
it… they’ll buy that like white bread on sale.


…and Kyroot concluded: The essence of this activity may
not only be simpler than you have ever imagined, it may be
simpler than you CAN imagine.



Copyright (c) Jan M. Cox, 1988

Document: 398,  September 28, 1988

Those of you who have determined that you’re sufficiently involved with This — who feel as if it’s the matrix, if not the actual crucible of your existence — should look at This as being an exceptional gift from Life, not a curse. There are no guarantees that you will pursue This to the end, or to my end. Still, if you feel that This is a major part of your existence, forget my jokes about your having no choice about participating in This, being a mutant strain or picked on by Life. That may all be true, but it’s not the profitable way to look at This. You’ve been given an exceptional, unusual opportunity and gift. This is unlike the usual gift: it’s not the same as someone offering you a rubber ducky, and you already have three and don’t take it. You can’t refuse This. Still, the opportunity to participate in This is a gift.

By and large, the world can be divided temporarily into two groups of people: those who live primarily in their head and those who only routinely visit there. There are areas on this planet — parts of Life’s body — where whole communities or groups of people only visit in their heads. And then there are other groups who primarily live there. The more you live in your head, the harder it is to look around, though it would seem otherwise. In the City it appears that those who live in their heads are more responsive and aware, open to studying things. But, when you look at the bell curve of the normal population of Life, it’s otherwise: those who live most in their head find it the hardest to look around.

Consider this: If you’re going to correctly guard or study something, you can’t do what Line level intelligence tells you to; you can’t stare at a person and guard them successfully. If you stare, you only see an impending threat when it moves into your view; and by that time it is already on the person. The threat will seem to come out of “nowhere” or out of your field of vision or awareness. You’ll say, “My eyes never left the protectorate. The threat took me completely by surprise.” The threat is the overlapping of the layers of Life. You must look away from or around the person or thing you are guarding. The more someone lives in their head, the more unnatural it seems to look around.

Instructions to “study something by looking around it,” would seem natural to someone not living in their head. A Red Circuit based person would have no problem understanding this advice; it would seem obvious. You could tell an ordinary brick layer: “The king wants you to watch over the prince. He wants you to guard him by looking around him, and not at him.” The brick layer would have no problem understanding this, yet it would seem extraordinary to someone living in their head. And once something passes the line of being extraordinary to them individually — enters the realm of worldwide extraordinary — it seems “spiritual.” That’s the basis of the martial arts taking on a spiritual tone to some people. The martial arts didn’t originate as a spiritual form, but in this country (which consists of people primarily living in their head) the idea of looking around by not looking in your head takes on a mystical quality. When you get beyond the realm of what you do naturally, everything seems spiritual. Rolling around and saying, “Hi ya!” is unnatural to you, and so seems mystical; someone can do some unusual gymnastics, and that takes on a spiritual nature.

It may seem that This Thing appeals to those living in their head. Is that really the case?

When a group of people collect, they normally need a common denominator. In all City groups, from apparent spiritual cults to bird watching societies, the members have a common denominator. When This Activity is done correctly (whatever that means) you’re hard pressed to find a common denominator in the group. Some people are focused in their head, others are not; some are focused on one aspect, and others are focused on another. This makes it harder to identify yourself or anyone in the group. I can be talking here and some people will be very moved and excited, while others are falling asleep. Some people look at others and can’t understand how they get anything out of what I’m saying. Some listen to me and have no idea of what I’m talking about, and they don’t care. This is a frightening or hilarious possibility. The dance goes on.

A song has a melody, lyrics and rhythm, and you can compare this to humanity’s nervous system. There’s a rhythm or melody that people who are almost deaf to the words can derive from This, or someone can be deaf to the melody and Hear the words. Words aren’t always the hook or pickle of This Thing. Some people can just hear the melody and say, “That’s it.” Others think, “He’s at least as intelligent as me, and I’ve never known anyone that intelligent. He knows it. I would have never thought to put it that way: it’s darned clever.” But even with them, it’s more than the words.

Most of you fall within a middle ground: you live for long periods of time (or with a certain intensity) in your head, and spend other periods when you aren’t focused in your head. To be the proper kind of mutant, you have to have the ability to move the focus. Participation in This doesn’t require that you remain focused at either end of the nervous system. When running, it’s not necessary to think about running, moving your legs, breathing in and out: you might think, “What should I think about? Should I memorize poetry while I run? I shouldn’t live so outside the head.” But it isn’t necessary to live in your head for that period of time, while running.

You can look through a hole in Line level reality and See something in the apparent struggle between the two forces or two types of systems in all aspects of Life. Look at the apparent conflicts between different religious or political systems, or the conflicting opinions between people. One group will live primarily in their head, and the other conflicting group will only visit their head in a routine manner, when absolutely necessary. Neither is right or wrong. Life is moving in the head direction, but it can’t move simply in that direction; just as you can’t live only in your head, Life can’t live only in its head.

Certain activities in Life serve a certain purpose and are misnamed. Look at prayer. Who are the big prayers in the world? Those who live less in their head. Those who live in their head seem to become the atheists or agnostics of the world. You’ll hear, “If you want your son to become a great believer, don’t send him to Harvard, Yale, or Princeton.” The majority of established intellectuals are not religious. You don’t see physics professors praying for an answer to their equations.

The head visitors are the people who are most religious. I’ll give one, just one, reason for this. One purpose prayer serves is to temporarily focus Yellow Circuit energy. The preacher makes people feel properly guilty and devoted, fall on their knees and pray. This runs the person into their head: they have to focus brain energy, neural activity. This phenomenon was also apparent in the 60’s, when masses of people took up meditation. That is a temporary focusing of brain energy, through outside direction, for people who don’t normally live there, or who live there in a different manner.

You have to look somewhere else and not just at what I’m talking about. Once you get a fancy education, you seem to become more sophisticated and ideas of a god living in the sky or heavens seem mythical and outdated. In the City it seems that education corrupts people into not following their forefathers’ religion.

In the City it seems that everything is explained. But is it? I’ve just given you a different explanation that’s not available at Line level. Prayer is a focusing of brain energy: you have to get into a certain position, feel the proper passion and put your feelings into words. The god isn’t going to read your mind. You have to say, “Hey, this is Bunky down here. I need your help and I’m willing to pay for it.” You have to focus your energy, bring up all your feelings, channel that energy into your head or Yellow Circuit, and pray.

I’ll tell a you a great coupe de matrix. It’s about “guilt.” Everyone feels “guilt.” What is it? Everyone can describe: “A feeling you get when you didn’t do what you should have,” but that’s not what guilt is. All people in the City experience guilt as: The feeling of remorse that you have when you know you should have done something that you didn’t; whether it be cultural or religious. This description is incorrect.

Here is what guilt is: (Savor some of the juices of this when I pop it into your head.) Guilt is not cultural, religious or acquired; it’s a name put on some flows of energy which pass through your nervous system and make it react in a certain way. This causes something. Everyone describes guilt in the same way, and the description is incorrect. I hate to tell you this because it’s so good, I hate to ruin it. The basis that no one has seen is: It’s the feeling you have when you believe or think you should have done something, but it was impossible. You feel you should have done something, but you were too weak, or just didn’t do it. Guilt arises when you couldn’t do something you believe you should have done. Your nervous system knows what it can and can’t do… IT KNOWS THAT! Your nervous system knew it was impossible, and you suffer over this impossibility. You suffer (a neurological, chemical, nervous system phenomenon) over the inevitable while believing that something else was possible. The real basis of guilt is that you wanted to do something, which the rest of the nervous system knows couldn’t be done.

Non-verbally every nervous system knows what it can and can’t do. If it didn’t know what’s impossible, Life would commit a form of slow suicide. Anything less than that and you’re not playing with a full deck; you’d be running and hopping over rooftops. The nervous system KNOWS that there are things that it will never Understand. “I can’t jump that. Other people might, but I can’t do that.” And the head is thinking, “If I practiced, I bet I could learn to jump that far.” The head thinks that it can practice something or learn to react or respond or act in ways that it can’t. But the nervous system knows otherwise. Guilt occurs when one end of the nervous system wants to, or feels it should do something, and the other end knows it’s impossible. People believe that guilt is the proper suffering over this inaction; the feeling that they have when they didn’t do something which they should have done. Who’s going to demand that you do something that you can’t do? Nobody except one person, if you want to call it a person.

I consider this information a real gift. If you aren’t immediately struck by this, apply yourself to remembering it for the next few days. Everyone feels guilty, whether he’s an atheist or a religious person. Guilt can be religious or self induced; based on ideas about how you should eat, how you should sleep, what you should or shouldn’t do. But the unspoken part of guilt is always the feeling that you could do it, but you were too weak. That’s not what guilt is; it’s not even close. The nervous system knows what it can’t do, but you still feel bad about it.

If you feel this is too obtuse, or you’re missing the point, notice that you hear certain religious or other doctrines, and don’t feel guilty for not following them or doing what they say. Someone says you must do something, you don’t, and you don’t feel at all guilty about it. It just strikes you as moot and passes you by. This occurs when there is a possibility that you can do what was recommended.

If you express a strong belief in something — you say that you’ll carry this belief until you die — you’re saying that you can’t do that thing. You can’t learn to; you can’t pray or trick yourself into doing it. It cannot be done. That is the beauty of it. Guilt is so effective, it’s better than being simply opposed to an idea. Opposites… Hell, Walt Disney can do that. Guilt goes off at what I call a “right angle,” and that doesn’t cover it. Look at the opposite of it and then go off at a right angle to it. If you’re really good, turn the corner in one direction or another, then stop at the edge; go off at a right angle from the edge. That’s how good guilt is. It’s the kind of thing that might cause a Real Revolutionist to say, “Golly, would-be sergeant Life. You did it to me again!”

Can you See how this contributes to an inherent widespread motivation in all of humanity? All of humanity feels this guilt, as it should. All of humanity feels bad that it didn’t do something that it can’t do. Can you see the inherent, inescapable beauty in this? It’s a symmetry of justice from which none can escape. Even death won’t get you over guilt, because there are people who feel guilty about dying. It’s funny and beautiful.

Here’s something else I’ve mentioned before, but don’t think this isn’t new. Like in a cartoon, you may recognize the background panels; but what’s going to go on up front is a whole new thing. I talked to you some time back about the use of structures and institutions. They are a kind of protection…but, I want to point you in another direction.

There are actions/goals and there are plans of action. The plans of action become the attempted systems, the institutions related to what should be the actions themselves. An example: After the Challenger was destroyed, NASA developed a whole commission to oversee the safety of future aircraft. Then, someone pointed out a flaw in a gasket used on the shuttle. The committee which was set up to oversee and insure aircraft safety was notified of this flaw, and they responded by saying they were concerned over their own reporting procedures. This is not ironic. The people on NASA’s committee for safety had insulated themselves for eight months and responded to allegations that the aircrafts produced weren’t safe. They developed a set of procedures to check anything that could possibly go wrong with any equipment. Now they find that there may be some faulty material used in the rocket. And what’s the major concern of the chairman of the committee? He’s concerned about the problems with their safety checking procedures; the failure of the committee’s policies and procedures to check for faulty equipment, not the actual safety.

The purpose of anything, of any system or institution, is not what it’s purported to be. I’ve pointed out that the function of a committee is not to provide the service which they feel they are assigned to provide. For example, a city incorporates and forms a Chamber of Commerce. They try to fight crime, pick up garbage, hold elections and such. But once something takes on an institutional reality, the goal or original purpose is no longer the focus. The crime rate goes up, the garbage men strike and the garbage isn’t collected, they have to pay the police… They have new problems. The committee’s function now becomes the maintenance of it’s own structure. There is nothing incorrect or ironic about this. It’s the way Life works.

Remember the two correctnesses: the external and the internal. They’re both existing in my examples, whether I’m discussing NASA or a city incorporating. Carry it all the way from that to what goes on in a person, with the Partnership. There appear to be different entities inside of you, different incorporated areas with apparently conflicting interests. Structures or bridges are built between the goals and the plans to move toward the goals. But the bridges act as protecting layers of fat between the goals and plans, impeding the execution of the plans. This doesn’t occur because of some fault or lack of intent on Man’s part, or unthinking behavior. The function of a committee isn’t what it seems: the purpose is not that which is stated.

A committee keeps any particular line of energy from reaching an untimely end, or conclusion. Education, religion, government — none can accomplish what it purports to do. There’s no conspiracy afoot. It’s an unrecognized law of physics that this layer of fat between the goals and the plans is necessary. This law insures that psychiatry doesn’t heal everyone who feels, “I’m so guilty,” and that everyone doesn’t feel joined with the gods. If the goal of any institution was accomplished, that institution would self destruct.

Feeling guilty or being of a certain religious bent is natural and necessary, until the time when Life no longer needs guilt and religion. The dinosaurs didn’t make a mistake and then disappear. They were complete. Something becomes extinct when it has served its purpose and is no longer germane to what Life is doing. Institutions are set up to bridge goals and plans of action, but they do not. The system serves a contrary purpose: the bridge becomes its own entity. The institution’s concern becomes it’s own well being, and not the original goal. The safety committee at NASA is concerned that its manuals of policies and procedures failed; that the committee failed. It isn’t concerned that a faulty piece of equipment is being placed in the rocket. They’re putting together a subcommittee, not finding a replacement for the gasket.

In another city, a group of people gathered together and asked if I would come down and speak. I said that I’d come once a week, or send them a video of these talks, if they gathered enough people together. A handful of people actually came here to meet with me personally. They then met in their city, wrote me reports and for a year said they were trying to gain access to these meetings. I gave them a condition to bring together x number of people, and for over a year they did everything but that. Sometimes they would meet five times a week, send me minutes, tell me how they’d rewrite my notes — they even set up a committee in charge of publishing my notes when they got them. They were working, setting up subcommittees, and did everything but get together the number of people that I required. I tried to point out to them what they were doing. They weren’t unusually dumb, and this isn’t an attack on the individual people. They sent back detailed plans, outlines, schematics which would make da Vinci jealous: these were grand plans with diagrams and layouts. And they did not Understand. After months of this, they still had the same number of people. When I told them that they hadn’t accomplished their goal, and I wouldn’t send them the tapes, they were crushed. It was like I’d stabbed them. They never Saw what was going on.

I made this up so you wouldn’t take this personally, and the story exemplifies the nature of Line-level consciousness — of being in a common partnership. You stare at something and aren’t prepared for any threat to it — that is, you don’t see how things overlap. You then feel guilty about not doing what you feel you should have done. You rely upon the same nervous system structures, the nervous system which you’ve let spring up between you and others, between you and yourself. The system stands between you and what you feel are others; it’s a protective layer to keep you running round and round in circles in the same car, feeling guilty that you didn’t change the oil, hitting the same bumps, endlessly.

Let me answer a couple of questions. Someone asked whether messing around with Life in a certain way can do you harm. When you are conscious of Life in a greater or more direct fashion, Life does (without telling you) expect you to Do more. Even when you’re spending time back at City level, there are ways that you shouldn’t mess around with Life. You can’t be too weird. Life will only tolerate so much of that.

This is no retroactive threat, to make you worry about what you’ve done in the past. Still, it reaches into mundane areas. No matter how sincere you feel about This, if you’re visibly, sensually too weird (no matter how you want to define “weird”) — if Life Feels, Hears, Sees that you are too far out of the mainstream — you can get hurt. It doesn’t take much to See this. You can be put in jail; put away in a nice soft place, where you don’t have to worry about shoe laces and your belt. If you want to be deviant, you have to keep it hidden. That’s the only kind of deviation that Life allows. No one can know about it, except you and maybe Life. I just want to be sure you Understand this.

Another question: Someone asked me how I define a hobby and whether a job can be a hobby. By “hobby” I mean what you’ll do if nobody pays you, and a hobby may or may not coincide with what you do for a living. Never give up your hobbies, or as they call it in the City, your dreams. You may enjoy painting, art, music. There’s no guarantee that you’ll become famous or even make enough money to pay the rent from it, but your hobby does not require recompense: you can do it without recompense of money or attention, when you’re alone and without an audience. You should wallow in it (not necessarily publicly). You can fall down nude and alone in your closet and just feel happy doing your hobby. You don’t mind if others like your hobby; but if you love it, love it, love it — that’s a hobby. That’s a great thing!

Someone else asked if Life actually stumbled during the Dark Ages. Can you Hear this question on the direct level? Take Life as being an entity, and ask if it actually stumbled. This is a great question, a chance for you to See something. Someone living in Asia does not look at that time in Life’s history as being the Dark Ages. It wasn’t a world phenomenon. There’s no such thing as a worldwide phenomenon. There’s no one part that is in accord with everything, that has experienced everything or knows everything.

Try to think trilaterally while I narrow this discussion down to one part of this planet, or Life’s body. Realize that those living at about 1500 A.D. in Western Europe didn’t see the times as being the Dark Ages. This is only an interesting period when looked at historically. Someone working in the fields didn’t come home from work and say to his wife, “When are the Dark Ages going to end?” People weren’t sitting in bars, looking at their little calendars saying, “Geez, how long is it ’til the reformation? When’s the enlightenment going to start?”

It isn’t inappropriate to think that Life tripped in this localized area. But during the same time period there was an age of scientific glory blossoming in what is now known as China. Now remember, whatever is true in Life, is true in you. Can you apply this? If you haven’t had your own Dark Ages, tut, tut, because it’s coming up. I’m not being metaphorical. You have gone through a time when you blossomed, and before then you experienced a Dark Ages.

In the Western World, humanity moved from the Greeks to the artistic glory of the Romans; the people became civilized, artistically inclined; the intellect was just beginning to blossom. And then it’s as if the whole Western World went off on this huge weekend drunk, that lasted a thousand years. They vomited on some of the great paintings that they liked, knocked over a lamp and burned some of the books, threw things out or hocked them for another bottle, and then woke up the next day and said, “Whew, I’ll be a better person for it. I’ll be a better man or part of the planet for it; I’ll be a better civilization for it.” And then when humanity did get cranked up, it looked like someone put a rocket in Western Europe’s ass. It really took off. It looked like Life took a nap, almost drank from the Lethe River of Hades, and then woke up and made up for lost time. If that doesn’t look like your history, you have a couple of the pages of your history book stuck together; some of the gooey glue from the binding has stuck between two of the pages and they’re stuck together. You need to unstick that glue and look at those pages.

Here’s a continuation of the topic of not looking at something when guarding it. If you’re guarding something, you have to look around it and not at it, or something will sneak up on the protectorate from outside your field of vision. I’m trying to get you to See something else. You can’t stare at something you’re guarding, you have to look around it. Now apply this to the brain or Yellow Circuit, and See that you should think about something, not think on something.

I’m not just playing games with words. These words lend themselves to something. Think about something — don’t stare at it — or you won’t See the overlaps or the threats. You won’t see that from another view it absolutely isn’t true. You can’t see the possibilities, the combinations of all the forces at work, if you stare at something. Don’t think on something, think about it.