So, even though what has thus far been limned is in no wise mysterious, occult or out of the mainstream of ordinary human awareness, a relentless, constant personal consciousness thereof is extremely rare, (forever on, in fact, a secret endangered species list). Everyone knows that they are subject to ever changing moods, and can express their love for another one instant, and be assaulting them the next. They are always with after-the-act explanations, but at the time of these lifelong incidents, they just happen.
The actors take no conscious notice of what occurred within their consciousness simultaneously with thehas-to-be-explained speech or behavior. The self in them that perpetrated the necessary-to-justify deed is long gone, leaving it to another self to verbally clean up the mess. This is simply the way of man, but more accurately, the way of man’s consciousness. His liver, heart, lungs and hands do not change in nature, attitude, or mood; not from moment to moment, (and taking into account the inevitability of normal aging), not throughout a life time. Men’s bodies are tangible, permanent, solid, stable and predictable. It is only his inner, invisible, self – his personality – that betrays these attributes. Remind yourself a final time that this is not pathological – this is humans’ natural, normal psychological condition.
For the few with the need to see it, your private, non-physical, inner self is composed of nothing you can find other than the never ceasing thoughts which pass through your consciousness. Delete them and there is no “you” there. To see this is, (to say the least and confess the obvious), extremely tricky. Even for the few with the potential, you are in essence asking an apparent something, (your mental, inner self), to see that it does not exist. This description, while honest, is yet as incomplete as is the nature of words themselves, but once you vigorously interrogate the situation for yourself, you will come to appreciate its poetic perfection and precision.
On the verbal surface it verges on the insane, or at least, improbable: to get something which can think, speak and command, to comprehend its own non-existence. The statement itself is the height of irrationality, nay impossibility, for if something does not exist in the first place, it could not be present to contemplate its proposed, non-existence. Oh, no doubt about it, it is a most bewildering notion in words, and one almost totally lacking in common human expression. Historically, even the most bizarre, out-of-it, mystics will not touch it, preferring instead to deal in thoroughly irrelevant ideas of gods, fates, and other supernatural forces to explain man’s otherwise inexplicable condition of looking to be as solid an entity as any other living creature, but turning out to be a never ending string of unpredictable, unreliable, apparently different people inside of one body.
J.