Summary = None
Condensed News = See below
News Item Gallery = None
Transcript = None
Key Words =
Jan’s Daily Fresh Real News (to accompany this talk)
THE MOST STRENUOUS OF CERTAIN EFFORTS RESULT IN THE MOST
STRIKING LACK OF
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Averting The Few From Angsting: “What’s The Use?!” Since 1462
May 16, 2003 ©2003: JAN COX
One city park speaker opened his day’s declaration thus:
“Just as religion is psychology lite,
and just as psychology is mysticism lite — no, wait — let me start over:
just as religion is mysticism lite,
and mysticism is philosophy lite, and — all right — here we go:
just as philosophy is psychology lite and……………okay — listen:
we’re going to take a short break —
our next show will begin in thirty minutes;
you’ve been a great audience — see you then!”
One man notes: “Learning-from-others will at least teach you one thing —
how little others know.”
From Our Definition Desk.
The Mind Of A Man Who Knows: A nose that furnishes its own grindstone.
How Availability Creates Unforseen Demand.
Whenever he would see a crowd, one man would rush up and exclaim:
“Let me through! — I’m a doctor,” and when someone would say: “No one here is ill,” he’d retort: “Well now they can afford to be.”
Public Notice: this story is in no wise related to one yesterday
concerning men’s minds and the thoughts they tend to entertain.
And one man says: “If it’s over-the-counter — I don’t want it,
and if it is by prescription — I can’t afford it — so:
where do I turn for neural medicine that will cure that unknown sickness?”
Public Notice Follow-up: those who have it — don’t try to dispense it,
and if you can afford it — it won’t do you any good
(not that is: as long as you can afford it).
And one man says: “I feel pretty sure that all of this is just an initiatory test
to see if I am actually qualified to receive the secret info — (but in case it’s not: BAWLLLLLLLLLL!”)
Military Bulletin: from The Army Of The Dense — there are no defectors.
Trans Combat Communiqué: the true enemy is: human nature,
the only true victor: the man who knows.
One Brief History Of Human Progress In The City.
Things have gone from:
Awe of Nature — to:
Fear of God — to:
Respect for the King — to:
Dread of the IRS.
(And someone asks:
“Is that the: Internal Restriction Structure in our brain’s consciousness?”)
Advised the synthesized voice issuing from the loudspeakers placed strategically throughout city park:
“Always remember, faithful citizens:
‘Caution’ and, ‘correctness’ begin with the same letter,”
“As do,” mused one man passing through, “Understanding’ and, ‘up-yours.’”
A man is not the independent rebel necessary to ever get to the bottom of things
if he (as is man’s natural proclivity) exempts his own familiar cortical activity
from his resistance.
One man thought: “The great thing about being a politician is that whatever matter is under discussion you can proclaim:
“Well — I said about that, back in nineteen eighty seven…”
Some people have breathing problems,
some people have digestion problems,
some people have circulation problems, but everybody has THE problem,
(fortunately [you might say] most are not aware of it,
[or you could say: they pretend not to be]).
One day a man came to the very heart of the city, where two promenades diverged, and as he paused and pondered the circumstances, he reflected:
“Is the intellectual component of man’s civilization a pretend playing of:
‘Let’s Make A Deal?’ — or a quite real version of a coo coo clock?”
From Our Legal Desk: The Marital Bed vs.The Neural Hayloft
All men’s fanatical hatred of the concept of paying alimony to a female
they are no longer fucking is similar to the certain man’s attitude toward
his old, natural born thoughts (which continue trying to fuck him).
One guy says he’s decided to start paying somebody else to think for him —
but he says not to worry,
that he won’t hire anyone smarter than he is.
The nice person who showed you to your seat when you arrived
is also the guard who will later bring your bread and water.
A tug at the father’s sleeve indicated that another query could be forthcoming,
and sure enough ‘twas followed by the son asking:
“Dear pa pa: why is it so difficult to spot the great men of understanding while they are alive?” and the elder’s mind began to drift back to a time when he was the lad’s age, laying on a warm, tropical traffic island,
gazing up at the clear sky of infinite possibilities, when he had wondered:
“Why do so few men attempt great understanding while they are alive?”
(“Like father like son” has meaning only when a man becomes his own physician/instructor, and for himself, cures that certain sickness.)
How Some Things Affect All Men The Same.
One man was so touched/taken by the term: “Gates Of Hell”
that he had his mother’s weight tattooed on his bicep.
A man said to his partner: “How come when a man gets seriously ill
he loses all his critical feelings toward other people?” —
his inner associate pondered the matter for a bit, then replied: “Aw – that’s easy!”
“So how come you don’t do it!” — a notion which — for just an instant —
the partner came close to grasping! (but, thanks be to the merciful,
prevailing gods of normalcy, not close enough to have any effect on that half).
At the official commencement of his weekend, one man would turn on the music,
grab his crotch, hoist high a can and declare:
“Here’s to beer, Bird and big breasted womens, and two whole days of not being me!” (as though that was something special).
Ode To The Parallel Worlds Of Hormones & Neurons.
There is eating,
and there is dining;
there is sleep,
and then reclining;
there is sex,
jump right in when you spot a chance.
When queried regarding his apparently unjustified “high spirits”
no man with real ones will reply.
To live an internally unsatisfying (that is): routine life,
merely requires that you live in a continuing, near catatonic intellectual condition, (which is readily supported by accepting the rustling of the leaves in the wind
as the essence of trees explained [or for the advanced dazed: taking the audible racket in your brain to be an expression of your ability to think and comprehend]).
Being on a ship-to-nowhere is no problem as long as
you remain in your assigned cabin.
(And one salt sang: “Sailing, sailing,
over the bounded me…”)
Ruminated one man: “No doubt about it: the great fun in being ill is getting well —
just like the best part of being originally dazed and dozing was………was…….wait,
I’ll get it in a second — was……….”
Whenever his natural-running mind would become upset over some goings on in the human drama, one guy would upbraid his own mental goings on: “Hey —
get a haircut and — CALM DOWN!”
One man nicknamed his beer cooler: “For Your Edification” —
(his wife insists: “Just as a joke” — [leastwise to her family and friends]).
How The Public Calls Even When It Doesn’t Intend To.
Seeing all of the news people and cameras, a man rushed into their midst and declared: “I want to express my personal outrage regarding…”
but when told he was not the purpose of their presence, he hesitated,
looked thoughtful for a moment, and said: “Then fuck my outrage!” and left.
One man is of the semi firm belief that
if you pass along the news of someone else’s death
it moves you up a thousand places in line for same.
Inscribed on the base of the statue honoring one city’s founder were these,
his reputed last words:
“’Tis a fine thing to point in one direction — then go in another.”
And from the never ending city elections:
the votes are in — (and as always):
the ballot counters win.
(This is why the certain man never trusts thoughts that agree with him.)