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Jan’s Posted Daily Fresh Real News
Keeping Your Cross From Turning Blue Since 1942
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REBEL DOCTORS RECOMMEND
YOU BE WELL NOW —
PRETEND TO BE ILL LATER
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November 13, 2002 © 2002: JAN COX
NEWS FROM PLACES YOU WOULD NOT NORMALLY EXPECT
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One man upon realizing that he had a mind thought: “What’ll I do with it?”
and it said: “Why do anything with me?!”
and he replied: “’Cause if I don’t — just think what you’ll do to me.”
Fully functioning humans are like double barreled shotguns,
with but a single finger available.
– – –
A peculiar trait characteristic of non nourishing food is its redundancy;
and a distinct trait of ordinary minds is their slavish imitation of one another.
All shotguns dream of sounding alike,
since all normal hunters sense but a single bird aloft.
The certain man eternally hunts out of season.
– – –
Those who believe mankind is in a crisis are themselves in a reasonable facsimile of one
(as regards their powers of comprehension).
The certain man fires everything he has at once,
and hopes for the inevitable
(see, that’s the attitude that keeps his hunting season open
year round).
– – –
On one world you are not permitted to say that you are conscious unless you can prove to yourself at that exact instant that you are aware of your consciousness.
….(A chap in the back says that seems fair to him — how’d he get in here?!)
– – –
One man had a puzzle –
a puzzle with numerous pieces –
and a curious thing about the puzzle was:
when one of its pieces was present — the others weren’t.
….(Well — at least it seemed so……….to him.)
The certain man scoffs at your puzzle —
(just as it looks at him and thinks: “How’d he get in here?”)
– – –
One man proposes: “If we lived in a better universe:
education would serve to inflame the minds of the young,
and enrage those of their elders — (in an agreeable manner, of course).”
– – –
The great thing about mind-expanding-drugs and disciplines is how they so comfortably constrict the consumer’s understanding of what originally motivated them to want their thinking stretched.
The certain man ingests no funny-stuff that he did not
concoct.
– – –
After long dreaming of such, one man left his world and went to another one,
and as interesting as the trip was
when he returned home he eventually ran face first into the fact of:
“What good did it do him?”
Due to such occurrences was created the idea of Secret Knowledge, whereby those intrigued with such a notion could find same anywhere they decided they had located something they did not understand….I mean, who’s to say otherwise, after all, the knowledge itself is secret.
Corollary: Holes that someone can poke in your knowledge
is their knowledge.
……(Funny how that works out.
“Do you see me laughing?!”)
– – –
One man had toy soldiers who fought, fought and fought –everywhere he took them;
then one day, he entered the fray, for he (you see)
decided it was time to reel in his attention.
Question: what do toy soldiers, unruly dogs and kings with a populace who won’t listen to them have in common?
(Alternative Query: When the brain’s away
do the kidneys play?
And are men befuddled
when neurons huddle?)
– – –
No one is as evangelical as a reformed drunk,
nor none as annoying as the just recently-realized stupid.
Fact: It is bad enough to instinctively be a dunce,
but doubled by contrite confession
(see — the point is: admission of idiocy by natural idiots entertains no one — especially the idiot).
The certain man keeps his trap shut and thus is never even himself quite sure just how dumb he really is.
On every planet in better universes, secrets kept are secrets neutered.
– – –
The fungus most fatal to the few is redundancy:
the treatment — originality.
By repetition are the majority calmed —
but thereby is the certain man’s brain secretly inflamed.
Every ill besetting the certain man is cured by creativity.
– – –
One man had a reflecting pond
into which he fell,
we must assume that all is well,
since no more from him
have we heard.
J
How Mind Works: Part Reprise (for those of you who missed it first time ’round, or else didn’t like it & tried to forget it):
A man who wrote & spoke continually about this kind of thing was asked in an accusatory tone how he kept coming up with new stuff day after day after day and he replied that he got it all from a book some man wrote a few years back that no one seems to know about — and this answer completely satisfied the questioner.
(Can you believe that some still insist that among primates, chimps are the most intelligent!)