Jan Cox Talk 2626


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Tape #2626
Notes by CF

01/03/01 MP3

Begin: I am going to try to tell you something I have never tried to tell. I started to write about it. It is the trickiest thing I have ever discovered. It is included in the “No one knows what being asleep is.” It is a physical occurrence in my brain.. (Much better than trying to remember yourself or waiting for the fried chicken of enlightenment.) I have no idea if I can bring it on sitting here telling you about it. I will see if I can build up to it. This is connected to it to me. From one view, in the non tangible world, everything man talks about, thinks about under ordinary conditions are all examples. Mathematical formulas are almost the exception but I will not go there tonight.

02:13 It is never the entirety or full manifestation. Education, Religion, Politics or economics. Anything that is a non tangible subject, under ordinary conditions, that you think about, everything is an example.

04:00 Pick out any subject. (Example: education) You cannot think of it in it’s entirety. There is not a universal education. You cannot think of anything in the non tangible world as a separate self contained whole. You think of examples. You are not thinking of the thing. That pleased me for a long time. I found it useful. After a few years of that it struck me that there was nothing amiss. We cannot think of non tangibles. We only think of examples of referenced non tangibles. This is not a judgement not a fault.

06:31 READS: “Non tangibles exist only in examples.”
The examples are the coherent entirety.( I think some of you got it. I would not be surprised if it was unclear.) Our minds do not grasp the entirety of some non tangible subject…area…matter. It gave me something new to work on. The assumption was I would somehow see the coherent whole rather than the example. Seeing examples would be a manifestation of sleep and seeing them otherwise would be enlightened. I would be able to see things in their entirety. The discovery was that there was nothing behind that. Seeing the examples of secondary affairs is seeing the coherent whole. There is “no such thing as education.” Your mind says “No, not true.” It sees pictures of dormitories, Oxford’s campus. These are examples. That is not education. You cannot see anything but examples. You have taken a pie that does not exist and cut out a slice and say I can perceive that. If the pie does not exist, what are you looking at ? Somewhere later I realized I was wasting my time looking for the pie. The only things that exist are the slices.

10:43 How singular an activity. You work and work and work. You understand what you work on even better. This is the only thing, once you make a breakthrough you finally understand “I do not understand what I am doing.” It is one of the greatest pieces of freedom because you are no longer studying examples. You realize “Trying to wake up” is an example. The mind takes the idea as a whole. You have got to start somewhere. You start with whatever system you are wired up to dance. Dropping a glass, misplacing your keys, walking from one room to the next thinking important thoughts about being awake and closing the door on your foot. It is an example of being asleep. Assuming there is such a thing as being asleep. That is an example of it.

15:25 It is a great boost to realize on your own that you do not know what you are talking about to yourself when talking about “Well, I was asleep.” I say that no one knows what it means to be asleep. Here is what I am trying to get to tonight. I hate to do this but this is so good I am going to try it. Anyone who has been in this for any length of time never questioned that you can think that your thoughts/your ideas of what being asleep is are correct. They have so many examples. That is not the problem. You cannot understand what being asleep is. No one understands what they are thinking about being asleep. . No one understands what they are thinking about anything. I will give you a hint. That was it that just went by.

20:25 Try it this way. Years ago I pointed out that what we call conscious thought is not working in real time. It is easy to observe and easy to forget. It seems to be instantly. (Let’s forget physical stimuli. The whole scene of waking up has to do with non tangibles, not the physical world.) Lets say something triggers a thought in you. A statement and your thought. says “Thats ridiculous.” (The example means nothing) By the time you react to the mechanical thought it is too late. Advice is too late. Knowing what to do is too late. The only good advice or self condemnation is before the fact. People like us, no one else notices, have thoughts that bounce back and forth. The mind seems to catch itself, (You think it is you.) being out of its own control. When out of your own control you give yourself advice or constructive criticism. “How can I be that asleep?) It is not useful. There is no way to avoid it to start with. I do not see many people getting past this point.

26:22 If I ask you right now “How can you be conscious of yourself?” You could be trailing after what I am saying. (In a sense put to sleep. which scares the piss out of me) Be conscious of your own consciousness. No criticism/just awareness of how it is running by itself. You cannot do it. You think you are doing it. Picture a racoon. (You picture a racoon.) Now picture grabbing its tail with you hand. (You picture your hand grabbing the raccoon’s tail.) Now I initially thought about using a possum. “Did you let go of the racoon tail? (You say UH…OH…) I did not say let go the raccoon’s tail. After a while you realize you did let go. That is being asleep. If a man was awake he could hold on to an imaginary raccoon’s tail until he got sick of it. You could practice and you still could not do it. How could you hold on to something that is imaginary? I don’t like that one either.

32:44 This thing I am trying to describe is a physical jolt in the brain. I cannot do it at will. I do not want you to feel dumb. Ordinary people do not think about what they are thinking about. That is one description of being asleep. People are conscious of their physical environment. To people like us the whole struggle is to be conscious of our consciousness. Self remembering, mindfulness, etc when I am doing it the right way my whole consciousness shifts. I can feel it shift. You can bring it on.It is a feeling of depth of perception if nothing else. But the whole idea of being conscious of consciousness “mentally” is not true. It is an imaginary hand holding on to an imaginary raccoon’s tail.

35:00 Another one. My whole life it is like I have been wrestling with the activity in my brain to wake up. I did not take it personally or blame it on anyone. It is like this disturbance right outside my door. It is like the cartoon of the dog and the cat that get into a fight. They get going real fast then it is just this big poof of smoke and when it calms down you see what happened. This skirmish right outside the door, (It does not matter who.) could be a dog or cat fighting or memory X fighting memory Y. It is just there.

It seems the proper way to approach it is to stabilize your attention, stand outside the door, and you are aware of “There it is” and I have got to deal with it. As long as you can hold your attention there, it does seem to stop it. It is an illusion. You are not really doing anything. There is nothing “To me” and I assume “to you” there is nothing more real than that to someone wanting to wake up. That I can split my mind is an illusion. The great liberation is to realize it. I cannot explain it. I thought I might do better than I have.

38:23 It is not just ‘no one knows what being asleep is’, no one knows what anything is. You are never so deranged, after a few years of this to say, “There it is. I am enlightened.” So it is always a feeling “If I could just get it.” No one knows in their mind what it is. But the great liberation is no one knows in their thinking anything they are thinking about. You are not thinking about what you think you are thinking about. There it was again. I know if your mind wanders it just sounds like bullshit. It is liberating to see it. You just get flashes of it at a time.:You are seeking extraordinary understanding and see that is not what the mind is capable of. That is not what consciousness is able to do. The experience seems to belie what I am saying. There is something else afoot going on. There is nothing you can think about that’s actually about the thing you think your thinking about. (I am beginning to wonder if I am just wearing you out. If you’re just laughing out of nervous reflex.)

43:00 It makes no sense verbally. There is nothing wrong with the acid test of “Are you conscious of consciousness?” None of that is incorrect. The impression of what goes on in your head and that you are working on that and that you are closer to being aware on a regular basis. When you are conscious of your mind you are not conscious of what you think your conscious of. When you see that it all becomes irrelevant. Your thoughts say otherwise. Your thoughts cannot be talked out of it. They are based on prejudice. But notice, nothing is relevant. All they have is examples. Remember we are cutting out the physical world. Beyond that (the physical world) there is nothing important.You tell thoughts there is nothing (beyond the physical world) there is nothing important. They tell you there is religion, education, morality. There is no such thing. They are examples.

47:00 Anything you are thinking about is an example of something that does not exist. That does not exclude being asleep and being awake. You do not know what it is because it exists only in examples. Whatever the subject is, you are not thinking about that.

50:00 Simply…what you are thinking about, that is not what you are thinking about. If you see it your whole relationship to the “struggle to awaken” changes. You are suddenly aware of me wrestling with my thoughts is more than useless because no matter how good you get at it you are not thinking what your thinking about. I am not saying there is something else. Another universe..Subconscious thoughts…You are not thinking something else. To be more conscious is like the idea of studying a painting. Trying to stabilize in you mind that the painting is awakening and that is not what it is. It is the canvas and you cannot see the canvas. No one thinks of that.
They think they are looking at a picture.

55:00 There seems to be nothing more real to a person than what he is thinking. And I say you are not thinking what you are thinking because what you are thinking is a dream. Your thinking about what your thinking is a dream. Picture my cartoon ball of smoke as being the sleeping mind. There is nothing inside of that. That is not the cartoon. The cartoon is you saying I got that. I will work on that. Trying to wake up is a dream. No wait a minute.


Jan’s Posted Daily Fresh Real News

January 3, 2001.

The most fascinating thing about the neural state
known variously as:
Liberation, Enlightenment, and Awakening
is that you cannot think or talk about it;
all you can do is think and talk about
what you have thought and said about it.

For all its history has someone been confiding that:
It is not possible to put the Enlightened state into words, but most of such voices were merely admitting unwittingly that they had never experienced
that unusual and eye/I opening neural vacation.

The reason that this extraordinary mental state cannot be described is the same one that keeps mans ordinary state beyond the reach of words & thoughts:
the mind cannot conceive of itself.
This simple, obvious reality is the basis for the notion, under sundry titles, that man is:
Asleep, in-the-dark, and a captive.

Men talk about what they SAY they think,
but they do not;
they only talk about what they are now thinking concerning something previously thought.
Men will claim to be describing their state of mind
when they are expressing their present view of a
past one.

Thought runs in real time, but not analysation thereof.

The normal brains & consciousness of men seem completely unable to see this stark fact — but understandably so.
Thought is the last to know.

Not being able to think about ordinary thought,
thought regarding an extraordinary version is also
obviously out of the question.

If you believe that you are contemporaneously conscious of what you are thinking
you will never understand what is really going on
with thinking.
If you think that you know what it is to be asleep
as it is happening — you will always be so.

At first blush it might seem that nothing is more personal to a man than his own consciousness,
but from a personally demonstrable,
objective perspective — this is plain foolishness.

Men not normally noticing this was the original inspiration for the verbally clumsy concepts
describing him as being: asleep, deluded & captive.

If it still seems to you that you understand what you are thinking or talking about regarding any subject that you cannot hold in your hands,
you have no clear view of what life is really about.
All you have, (same as six billion others),
is a view of a view —
— a photograph of a postcard.

Every person who undertakes the search for Enlightenment initially thinks in terms of it being something that they will learn, or acquire,
and due to the natural operations of thought —
and of non conscious instinct itself — this is inevitable in that creatures are not given to making efforts that do not lead to the acquisition of something pertinent to their survival, or pleasure.
But that unusual — and unusually informative
neural anomaly known as waking up
is not food, water or sex, or any other form of
material substance that you can bring into your literal possession to fill a present void.

If you do not think about awakening in the right way,
you can never awaken — and —
there is no way to think about awakening.
All you or anyone can do is think and talk about
what you have thought and said about it.

The situation is indeed the mother-model for the word,
picture a scene wherein a certain group of people want to go to The Lost City of X;
they are full of descriptions thereof,
and directions thereto,
and yet not one of them knows what
they are thinking and talking about,
and I do not mean just that
none of them has ever been there,
I mean that they do not realize that
what they are after is not really,
The Lost City X — an invention of their mind —
but an understanding OF their mind —
but this is not the half of it
for they cannot understand their mind even if they get
ON that track — and that is still not the end of it —
for if they do finally undertake a journey to
discover their own mind
it is most unlikely that they will ever realize that
it cannot be done, and that they are NOT doing it.

This could be labeled: The mystics final frustration.

This could also be described as the most difficult thing human thought can ever attempt —
literally impossible, in fact.well, damn near.
It is so near impossible as for its achievement to be impossible to adequately describe, but this much can be said without any conditions:
that non standard neural state called, Liberation
cannot be thought or talked about,
and all apparent examples thereof are but
thoughts and words about what has been
thought and said about the matter.
Just in front of the first thing ever thought then said
about Liberation — WAS liberation.
When you think about thinking you are not actually thinking about thinking,
you could only have done that right BEFORE
you began to think about thinking,
and when you think about being Enlightened,
you are not actually thinking about Enlightenment
for that is possible only the instant before you start to think about it.

Talk is about words, and thought is about
what you are thinking right now about
thoughts you have thought before.
When it involves any matter that you cannot touch,
you only talk about words, and think about thoughts,
and never get to heart of what is actually going on inside of your own head.
This is the attraction of thinking that the information you need to achieve Liberation is on the other side of the world;
Better that the info be in Tibet than in my head —
for indeed it is easier to get to Tibet than it is to get —
— inside your own mind.

No one actually ever reaches, The Lost City Of X, (Enlightenment), as you imagine happens
when you start this journey;
but those who DO reach it
do so by the realization that you do not.

The Lost City is your desire to go there;
being, Awake is the motivation to be so,
& Enlightenment is knowing that you cant think about it.

Amateur waker-uppers are always upset to hear such as I herein have put to words — and understandably so — to inexperienced mental ears
it sounds pessimistic and discouraging — but
I assure you that it is anything BUT.
No one can be told this, and comprehend it at the beginning of this most marvelous of adventures,
and damn few can tolerate hearing about it
somewhere down the line —
but — there it is — nevertheless.

The most fascinating — AND instructive thing about the neural state known variously as:
Liberation, Enlightenment, and Awakening
is that you cannot think or talk about it;
all you can do is think and talk about
what you have thought and said about it.

.and INSTRUCTIVE, (please note.)

My Regards To All Semi-Pros,

2 things cannot be known directly,
only thru examples of their manifestation:
one is life, the other is the mind.