Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See below
News Item Gallery = jcap 1999-02-03 (99016) -2310
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The News
99016-1
THE NEWS FOR FEBRUARY 3, 1999
WHAT FOLLOWS IS A PIECE OF WRITING I HAVE IN MY POSSESSION THAT IS HERETOFORE UNPUBLISHED AND UN-KNOWN, AND OBVIOUSLY FROM A MAN WHO WAS A COMMENTATOR ON
THAT ACTIVITY COMMONLY REFERRED TO AS THE, “STRUGGLE FOR ENLIGHTENMENT, ,
OR THE AWAKENING OF CONSCIOUSNESS”.
“MY INTEREST IN THIS MATTER BEGAN AS EVERYONE ELSE’S DOES: BY BEING INTRODUCED TO THE EFFORTS OF OTHERS BEFORE IN THIS AFFAIR,(IN MY CASE THIS CAME ABOUT VIA THE WRITTEN WORD). AT FIRST, AS I BELIEVED I GRASPED THE MATTER THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT, I ADOPTED IN WHOLE MEASURES, THESE DEAD MEN’S TERMS & DESCRIPTIONS IN THE BEGINNING I WAS STRICTLY ATTRACTED TO THE FORM I HAD FIRST READ ABOUT, BUT THEN EXPANDED MY READINGS, GOING FROM ZEN TO YOGA TO SUFISM, TO CABALISM, AND CHRISTIAN MYSTICISM, IN A SIGNIFICANT ORDER, BUT JUST AS THEY WOULD COME TO MY ATTENTION, AND UPON EACH NEW DISCOVERY, THAT PARTICULAR SCHOOL WOULD FOR A TIME BECOME MY FAVORITE, BUT I EVENTUALLY FOUND THEM EACH TO BE, IN THEIR OWN WAY, A SOURCE OF DIRECTION AND PLEASURE, AND REGARDED NOT, ANY OF THEM SUPERIOR TO ANOTHER.
FOR A LONG TIME MY ATTITUDE TOWARD THIS THING ABOUT, “WAKING UP”, OR, “BECOMING ENLIGHTENED”, WAS THAT IT WAS A SOMETHING THAT A MAN SHOULD DO
TO CORRECT HIS PRESENT [N-CORRECT STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS. I TOOK NO CONVINCING:
IT ALL IMMEDIATELY STRUCK ME AS IRREFUTABLE, THAT MAN’S ORDINARY MENTAL STATE WAS MUCH LESS THAN IT COULD BE, WITH SUCH “TRICKS” I READ ABOUT AS:
“MINDFULNESS, SELF-OBSERVATION AND SELF-REMEMBERING” GIVING INSTANT PROOF OF
THE ASSERTION. IT ALL SEEMED CLEARLY A CHALLENGE TO “ADD TO” WHAT WAS PRESENT
IN AND ABOUT ME: TO “GAIN” NEW, IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT MY CONSCIOUSNESS:
TO “OBTAIN” NEW TALENTS, (MENTALLY & PERHAPS OTHERWISE), ALL-IN-ALL, THE
SO-CALLED EFFORT TO “AWAKEN” APPEARED TO ME WITHOUT QUESTION, TO BE A POSITIVE, “SOMETHING” TO BE ACHIEVED WHILE TOTALLY ABANDONING MY OLD MENTAL WAYS WHICH WERE SURELY A NEGATIVE.
FOR MANY YEARS, WITH SUCH AN OVERALL VIEW OF THE MATTER,
DID I STRUGGLE TO AWAKEN, (AS I IMAGINED IT TO BE:FROM MY READING),
AND EVENTUALLY ON MORE THAN A FEW OCCASIONS, DID I UNEXPECTEDLY FIND MYSELF IN
A MENTAL STATE SO BEYOND ANYTHING NORMALLY EXPERIENCED, THAT I HAD NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER THAT IT WAS SOME FORM OF “AWAKENING” NO MATTER HOW SLIGHT OR TEMPORARY
SO THEN I KNEW — NOT JUST ACCEPTED THE CLAIM THAT
SUCH AN EXTRAORDINARY STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS EXISTED, AND IT SEEMED THEN THAT ALL I FURTHER NEEDED WAS THE ABILITY TO SPECIFICALLY BRING ON THIS STATE, AND TO MAINTAIN IT WITHOUT END.
99016-2
BUT THEN THINGS, (IT SEEMED TO ME), TOOK A TURN FOR THE “BLANDNESS”:
I FELT LESS SURE OF WHAT I HAD PREVIOUSLY BELIEVED I DEFINITELY UNDERSTOOD
ABOUT THIS ENTIRE AFFAIR: I VACILLATED IN WHAT HAD BEEN MY LIFE-LONG
ENTHUSIASM FOR THE ENDEAVOR, AND I BEGAN TO HAVE RE-OCCURRING FEARS THAT I HAD SOMEHOW “GONE ASTRAY”; HAD GOTTEN OFF ON A DANGEROUS, IF NOT, DEAD-END PATH, FAR, FAR AWAY FROM THE PROPER-ONE REFERRED TO IN ALL OF THE ENLIGHTENED WRITINGS I HAD SO DILIGENTLY PURSUED.
AS UNBELIEVABLE AS THE NOTION SOUNDED EVEN TO MY OWN EARS,
IT SEEMED TO ME THAT I COULD NO LONGER BE CERTAIN IN ANY PRECISE, MEANINGFUL WAY WHETHER I WAS “AWAKE–‘ASLEEP — SOMEWHAT AWAKE — SOMEWHAT ASLEEP” — I SIMPLY, (FOR SOME TIME), FELT LOST AND ADRIFT,
EVEN AMIDST AND IN-LIGHT-OF MY PAST, UNDENIABLE EXPERIENCES OF BEING IN THAT EXTRAORDINARY MENTAL STATE WHOSE VERY “EXISTENCE” (LACKING A BETTER WORD), NOW AT TIMES, SEEMED DOUBTFUL AND MY-UNDERSTANDING OF WHICH APPEARED TO BE RAPIDLY RECEDING FROM ME.
THEN SOMETHING,TOTALLY FRESH HIT ME;
THE DISTINCT & REAL POSSIBILITY THAT SOMEHOW, “AWAKENING” WAS NOT THE
SUBSTANTIAL, “ADD ON” — THE “ACHIEVEMENT OF”. THE ‘”GAINING-OF” SOMETHING,
BUT THAT IT WAS THE ILLUSION OF A “GAINING-OF-SOMETHING”,
AND THIS, (I MUST TELL YOU), WAS A FRIGHTENING TIME:
BEING FACED WITH, (IN MY THINKING), THE POSSIBILITY THAT,
“BEING_AWAKE”_WAS SOME HOW A MIRAGE….THAT IT WAS NOT WHAT I HAD ALWAYS
TAKEN IT TO BE….AND YET, NEVER IN DOUBT, WAS THE REALITY OF MY PAST EXPERIENCES
WHICH WERE,'(WITHOUT DOUBT), WHAT THE EARLIER SCRIBES HAD MEANT BY THE TERM.
BUT THEN SLOWLY,FROM WITHIN THIS NEW,LESS CERTAIN MENTAL PERCEPTION OF THIS UNUSUAL AFFAIR, ANOTHER POSSIBILITY BEGAN TO PERIODICALLY STICK-OUT-ITS-HEAD; THE POSSIBILITY THAT NEITHER MY, NOR ANY OF THE PAST WRITERS’ CONCEPTIONS OF WHAT AWAKENING IS, ARE CORRECT….IN FACT AN EVEN MORE BLUNT,POSSIBILITY BEGAN TO FREQUENTLY PRESENT ITSELF, THE QUITE REAL POSSIBILITY THAT NO ONE CAN, OR EVER HAS UNDERSTOOD WHAT AWAKENING IS….THAT ITS EXPERIENCE IS COMPLETELY OUTSIDE ANY REALM OF “MENTAL UNDERSTANDING”, AND IN FACT MY OWN EXPERIENCES THEREWITH, I AM EVEN NOW STILL AWARE THAT WHILE IN THAT,EXTRAORDINARILY ALERT, AND INFINITELY CONSCIOUS CONDITION, I WAS WITHOUT ANY “MENTAL UNDERSTANDING”, THAT IN TRUTH, THE LACK THEREOF WAS WITHOUT QUESTION, THE BASE OF THE STATE.
THE VALIDITY OF THESE POSSIBILITIES, WANED IN ME FROM DAY TO DAY,
MOMENT TO MOMENT, AND AT TIMES MY MIND FEARED THAT IF THEY DID PROVE TO BE TRUE, THAT I WOULD HAVE WASTED ALL OF MY EFFORTS — SOMEHOW!?! — IN TRYING TO AWAKEN, ENLIGHTEN, AND ENLARGE MY CONSCIOUSNESS OF LIFE AND:OF BEING ALIVE
99016-3
AND THEN….AND, EVENTUALLY THEN,
A MUCH DEEPER, MORE EXPANSIVE POTENTIAL BEGAN TO APPEAR IN MY MIND,
THAT ALL ATTEMPTS TO “UNDERSTAND”, (MUCH LESS EXPLAIN), WHAT AWAKENING IS IS THE SURE BAR TO ITS EXPERIENCE.
UPON MY COMING TO GRIPS WITH THIS IDEA, THE POSSIBILITY I HAD PREVIOUSLY SUSPECTED AND FEARED, THAT “BEING AWAKE, OR “BEING ASLEEP”
COULD JUST BE IMAGINARY CONDITIONS — THIS POSSIBILITY THEN BECAME RATIONAL, AND UNDERSTANDABLE INASMUCH AS,
IF ALL ATTEMPTS TO UNDERSTAND OR EXPLAIN WHAT AWAKENING IS, ARE UNREAL,
AND MEANINGLESS, THEN WHATEVER EXPLANATIONS, DESCRIPTIONS, OR UNDERSTANDING YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE OF WHAT THE STATE IS, MUST BE EQUALLY AS IMAGINARY AND MOOT. MUST PERFORCE BE EQUALLY AS UN-REAL AND MEANINGLESS.
AS THIS GRADUALLY BEGAN TO BE PART OF MY PERMANENT VIEW OF THIS MATTER WE’RE DISCUSSING. IT BROUGHT WITH IT A SENSE OF .FREEDOM — OF “RELIEF”
THAT I HAD PREVIOUSLY NOT KNOWN
WHILE INVOLVED IN THIS STRANGE AFFAIR.
I BEGAN TO EXPERIENCE MYSELF MENTALLY AS – STUPID — LACKING IN ANY USEFUL SENSE OR KNOWLEDGE,
BUT THE REALIZATION ALSO SOON CAME TO ME THAT I WAS NOT JUST NOW, “STUPID”, (IN THE WAY IN WHICH I INTEND THE WORD), BUT RATHER THAT I WAS JUST BECOMING CLEARLY AWARE THAT I (ALONG WITH EVERYONE ELSE), HAVE ALWAYS BEEN — STUPID, LACKING IN ANY MEANINGFUL UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT LIFE IS:ABOUT,’ MUCH LESS WHAT SOME INDIVIDUAL HERE &:THERE IS UP TO IN THEIR ATTEMPT TO “WAKE UP”.
I WANT YOU TO HEAR ME CORRECTLY IN THIS: WHAT I WAS SEEING WAS IN NO MANNER NEGATIVE, OR DISCOURAGING…NAY, IN FACT MY ENTHUSIASM RENEWED ITSELF,
AND I COULD FEEL MY EYES (I’s) GLOWING WITH A FRESH VITALITY & FIELD OF INTEREST. WHAT COULD, (AT THIS MORE ADVANCED STAGE IN MY ADVENTURE), BE MORE EXCITING THAN THE POSSIBILITY THAT EVERYTHING I BELIEVED I KNEW, OR THAT ANYONE ELSE_BELIEVED THAT THEY KNEW, ABOUT BEING “AWAKE, & ENLIGHTENED” IS STRICTLY IMAGINARY.
THIS SIMPLE STATEMENT, (KEEPING IN YOUR MIND THAT THE STATEMENT ITSELF IS IMAGINARY), THE SIMPLE REALITY BEHIND THE STATEMENT THAT ALL UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT “BECOMING AWAKE” OR “ACHIEVING ENLIGHTENMENT” IS — IS MEANINGLESS,
AND IMAGINARY, (PROPERLY REALIZED), MUST BE THE SUPREME DOOR TO THE WHOLE AFFAIR.
IT IS NOT THAT “STRUGGLING TO AWAKEN” IS SOME HOW A “WASTE OF TIME”:
AND IT IS NOT THAT, “THE EFFORT TO ACHIEVE ENLIGHTENMENT” IS SOMEHOW A,”SORRY JOKE”
AND IT IS MOST ASSUREDLY NOT THAT YOUR TASTES-OF & EXPERIENCES-IN THAT MOST
AMAZING & EYE-OPENING STATE WERE JUST YOUR IMAGINATION NO,
99016-4
THE LIBERATING, AND “COURSE-CORRECTING” REALIZATION I REFER TO IS IN YOUR PERSONAL RECOGNITION THAT ALL MENTAL ACTIVITY NOT DEVOTED TO PHYSICAL MATTERS
IS WITHOUT SUBSTANCE, REALITY OR SIGNIFICANCE — INCLUDING —
— OH DEAR JEHOSHAPHAT –. EVER INCLUDING -ALL THINKING ABOUT “WAKING UP” AND “BEING ASLEEP”
IF YOU’RE “THINKING ABOUT BEING AWAKE” — YOU’RE ASLEEP:
AND WHEN YOU’RE ASLEEP IT’S NOT POSSIBLE TO HAVE ANY ENLIGHTENING THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS TO, “BE ASLEEP”.
AM I HEREIN ABLE TO CONVEY TO YOU AT ALL THE SENSE OF FREEDOM,
AND THE CLARITY OF A”NEW VIEW” REGARDING THIS, UNDERTAKING
THAT COMES WITH THE FULL, INDIVIDUAL REALIZATION THAT ANY AND ALL THOUGHTS YOU
MAY HAVE, OR ARE HAVING ABOUT WHAT IS, “BEING ASLEEP” — “BEING AWAKE”,
AND IN FACT, ALL THOUGHTS THAT ARE POSSIBLE CONCERNING “CONSCIOUSNESS” ITSELF,
ARE IRREPARABLY FLAWED &_LACKING,: _
AND CAN NEVER, UNDER ANY MENTAL CIRCUMSTANCES,
REVEAL TO YOU THE TRUE NATURE OF WHAT CONSCIOUSNESS IS.
CONSCIOUSNESS, (INCLUDING THE STATES THAT I AND OTHERS HAVE REFERRED TO AS: “SLEEPING” STATES, AND “AWAKENED” STATES),
CONSCIOUSNESS IS TOTALLY OUTSIDE THE GRIP & COMPREHENSION OF THE THOUGHTS THAT PASS THROUGH IT:
TO BELIEVE THAT YOU “UNDERSTAND” WHAT CONSCIOUSNESS IS, IS TO BE STUPID — AND — LESS THAN
MOMENTARILY AS CONSCIOUS AS YOU COULD ACTUALLY BE WERE YOU NOT THINKING ABOUT IT.
THERE IS THE FREEDOM — THERE IS THE CLARITY THAT FOR SO LONG IS MISSING IN THE REALIZATION OF THOSE SEEKING AN EXPANDED “REALIZATION”.
…YOUR MENTAL UNCERTAINTIES AND FEARS ARE THE UNBEKNOWNST BASES FOR ALL OF YOUR, UNCERTAINTIES AND FEARS:
….TRYING TO SOMEHOW “CORRECT” A CONDITION THAT CONSISTS SOLELY OF THE IMAGINARY CAN ONLY RESULT IN THE PERSISTENT SENSATION THAT NOTHING REAL IS BEING ACCOMPLISHED.
FOR THE PRESENT I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS:
WHAT COULD BE A MORE PRECISE VERBALIZATION OF WHAT IT WOULD BE TO ACTUALLY BE IN A STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS THAT WOULD TRULY BE OF ADDITIONAL PROFIT TO ONE WHO HAD EXPENDED EFFORTS TO ACHIEVE SAME THAN TO SAY THAT SUCH A PERSON NO LONGER HAS INTEREST IN THINGS UN-REAL?!
TO “BE AWAKE”, AS I NOW PERCEIVE IT TO BE,
IS TO SIMPLY BE A PERSON WHO IS NOTHING BUT REAL —
— TO BE A PERSON WHO LIVES AS NOTHING OTHER THAN — WHAT HE IS —
— NOT AS WHAT HIS THOUGHTS TELL HIM HE IS AND HOW HE SHOULD LIVE —
BUT WHO SIMPLY LIVES AS WHAT HE IS AND THUS LIVES ONLY AS HE SHOULD LIVE.
99016-5
IF I WERE NOW TO CALL ANYTHING, AWAKENING, OR ENLIGHTENMENT, THAT WOULD BE IT.” …(END OF QUOTE).