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2035 97087.035 12/17/97 Copyright J. M. Cox 1997
An Explanation Of Many Things In The Unique World Of Man,
Which (Truth Be Told) Have None, Or At Most Need None
Under the pressures of mortal existence, many people forget things they’ve
done. …They also regret things, and they also forget what it was they did
that produced their regret.
This is all you need to know to understand all of man’s behavior, and to
realize that all explanations are bullshit and meaningful.
(Unless you’re alert and expected to hear “meaningless.”
Hey! let’s bring on the fog to explain the clouds!
“Pardon me, but did you say ‘clods’?”)
And in a personal attempt to help resolve the ever-increasing imbalance
between the number of births and deaths, one man made this public statement:
“I may be poor in spirit, but I am even poorer in my bank account.”
(Hey, let’s bring on the letters to explain the numbers.
“Pardon me, but did you say the DUMBERS?”)
And now, from all of this, The Derived Principle:
That which needs explaining, will get explained; nothing needs explaining!
So privately viewed one man:
“We live amidst an unseen conspiracy, and will never be free from our
masters — all that is possible is to be free of the illusion that we are
(Hope he keeps it to himself, huh?)
Since the sole source of man’s unique reality is the mind, if you would just
stay permanently aware of the mind, would that not free you from all of the
meaningless entanglements and confusion of that imaginary reality?
Speaking to a man who some had long believed was enlightened, a woman asked
him why he was so reclusive and didn’t meet more with the public, and he
replied that whenever he had made himself available to randomly collected
groups they always consisted predominately of the mentally unfit.
And the woman protested, “But I came here to see you.”
And the man made no reply.
The speaker declared, “Never trust a man who looks serious.”
And from the audience a voice asked, “Does that include your own
A boy asked his father to explain the meaning of the story about a man who
was falsely accused of a crime and who refused to defend himself.
And the elder responded with these words, “There is a stream that can drain
a river — whenever it proceeds straight; the secondary will submit to the
primary, thinking will give way to doing.
“A man who cannot recognize weakness will have no strength.”
One man’s most favorite recently discovered book title is “All The Great
Methods Of Awakening Will Also Keep You Asleep.”
(He says he can’t remember where he saw it, but that he’s not going back to
look for it.)
Without “mindfulness” there is nothing (unless you can achieve LACK of
One man’s daily spiritual ritual consisted of this:
Immediately upon awakening each morning, the first thing he would do would
be to cry aloud,
“Dear Buddha, on this day, please help me to catch-a-skunk.”
To be fully human, it is essential to think;
to be alive — it is not.
The premature termination of many who wanted to awaken is due to — plans!
(And when not plans, decisions.
And as long as you have any plans,
you won’t understand this.
You gotta admit this: fair’s even more than fair.)
If you quit talking, you’ll stop complaining, and if you quit thinking,
you’ll stop suffering.
(Bring on the camels.)
It is “essential” to stay alive — everything else is a hobby.
A Suggestion Related To The Possibility
Of A Certain Type Of Exceptional Life
If your mother has a “premonition” that you will be a man of unusual and
powerful mystical qualities, arrange to be born to someone else.
As they stood near the bedroom, a boy asked his father what would assure him
of sleep, and the elder replied, “Thinking of the behavior of others.”
* * *
Yeah, But What Does It Have To Do With Travel?
The speaker so declared, “It is the man who doesn’t know where he is going
who can be counted on!”
And from the audience a voice called out, “Don’t you mean to say a man who
doesn’t imagine that he is going anywhere?”
And the speaker brushed the comment aside, “Same thing.”
* * *
Success And Failure
At the essential level, there is no failure other than death, and at the
nonessential level there are no such things as success and failure.
– – –
In the ER, the cry was continually heard, “Code Blue! — Code Blue!”
And one day someone asked what it meant. No one knew for sure, but since
they were in the emergency room, everyone felt certain that it had something
to do with an emergency.
* * *
When one man heard about out-of-body experiences, he said, “Hell, every
time I think, I have one.”
Under some conditions,
when the secondary’s words
try to explain the primary’s acts,
the speaker can appear insane.
* * *
Even if you don’t know what’s going on, a quiet man will appear to, and even
if you don’t know what’s going on inside of you, if you’ll stop talking
about it, you will.
* * *
A courier from court came to a mystic with a message, “The king is upset
And when the calm one failed to respond, the courier pressed him, “Don’t
you want to know why?”
And the mystic finally spoke, “If someone is upset with me, it is their
problem, not mine.”
A response that did not satisfy the messenger, who countered, “Well, that
may be an attitude typical for one of your position, but let assure you most
strongly, His Majesty is extremely upset with you, and it could cause you
And the mystic closed the conversation by saying, “If I let someone’s being
upset with me cause me problems, I deserve the problems.”
Whatever an ordinary man thinks is essential is essential for him; to be
“ordinary” is to think that anything is essential.
Question: What is the only thing more foolish than trying to describe
Answer: Trying to describe being asleep.
‘Cause, since you’re never there when you are, how can you ever say what
(Bring on the grandmothers.)
Everyone can see that, nonphysically speaking, men are being continually
accused and are continually defending themselves, and everyone can
understand that if men were not accused they would not defend themselves,
but what only the awake understand is that if men did not defend themselves
they would not be accused.
The correct understanding of the Samson story is that man’s downfall came
when his SILENCE was cut off.
When the mood would so strike him, one man would look skyward and
exuberantly exclaim, “Help me, Oh Lord, by poking me in the eye — for thy
greater glory (and as an example to others).”
(And neither he nor The Lord was quite sure what he meant by it, but I
believe I have a pretty good idea.)
More Regarding Reading
Any author who punctuates his books with “examples from his own life” should
be watched care-ful-ly (if you’ve nothing better to do).
The awakened wanna-be’s cry:
“I may not KNOW it all, but I can CRITICIZE it all.”
(Bring on the guys in vests.)
The most pathetic words ever spoken by man: role model.
One man says he’s discovered how you can stay awake continually: you
continually ask yourself if you’re awake, and viola! there you are.
From the Earth, one day, went up a cry to the sky:
“I didn’t know you were gonna get serious!”
Later, from the sky, came a cry back to Earth:
“I didn’t know you were gonna get serious.”
If you think that anything outside the primary level is essential, you will
believe that thinking is essential.
(Are you beginning to catch on?)
First voice to second voice:
“Say, wasn’t it you who first said timing is everything?”
And second voice replies: “It was me who first said everything!”
(And a passing third voice said: “Who were those unidentified voices?”)
A mystic said to a man who’d asked questions about the matter, “If a man-
who-knows says there is no such thing as enlightenment, he does not mean
that there is no such as enlightenment, he means that there is no such thing
as enlightenment as you think it is.”
But the man objected, “But he doesn’t know what I think it is.”
And the mystic replied, “All right, have it your way.”
One man suddenly concluded, “It’s all a matter conservation of resources —
that along with the impossibility of conserving resources.”
(After a short cooling off period, he revised the last part of his
realization to read “the absurdity of conserving resources,” which, I
suppose, may or may not make it make more sense to the torpid.)
The Struggle To Awaken: For some, the most astounding journey you can ever
take without leaving home.
(Also, even if you do.)
And then there’s this man who will mentally ask himself “is that you?”
And mentally reply, “Yes, it’s me — who else would it be?”
(Are those words to die for, or what?)
As they neared the bedroom, a boy said to his father, “Tell me a story.”
“I do each time I talk to you,” he replied.
– – –
Some “nut” stood under the window of a well-known fabulist and chanted,
“You can write about people,
you can write about pigs,
you can write what they say,
you can write what they do — but just remember this:
it’s still just writing!”
(Bring on the gas-drenched critics.)
* * *
Stunned, as he stepped into his trousers one morning and discovered that
their length finally matched exactly his height, he raised up his hands and
looked to the sky and exclaimed, “Praise be, for the ‘Immaculate
(Even plastic plants can benefit from the human touch…but not too much.)
* * *
For years, one man sought a single, infallible “trick” that would “keep him
on course,” but came to realize that there was not one only, many, then
later came to the further realization that one and many are the same thing.
Then ultimately he awoke to the fact that there could not be an “infallible
trick,” since by its very definition it would have to work automatically,
a concept that by its very definition is antipodal to the goal for which he
The reason that all methods, teachings, and disciplines for awakening are so
difficult (may we say) to execute is because they are all “made-up weapons”
by which men attempt to slay “imaginary foes” — “illusionary tools” by
which men seek to erect “fictitious structures.”
(Bring on the clean-up crew.)
Oh yeah, and don’t ignore the pertinent cop-out possibilities (to wit):
The longer you insist “I don’t get it” the more time you’ll still have to
not have to “get it.”
(Now bring ’em all on!)
Where Do You Thing You Live Anyway
Regardless of what their spokesmen say unilaterally (not that they never
hold joint press conferences), the relationship between Spain and Portugal
is not real. (Fact of the matter is, neither is Spain and Portugal — by
A man said to a mystic, “The more I hear you speak, the less sense it
And the mystic replied, “Ah, I see you’re beginning to get it.”
If you think that you understand what someone is saying regarding
enlightenment, then you’re being mislead — by your own thinking, that is.
(Bring on the half-full know-it-alls.)
Good And Evil, Right And Wrong, True And False — Fully Explained
One day one of ’em’s the bread and the other one’s the meat, and the next
day the other one’s the bread and the first one’s the meat.
– – –
One day a father jabbed his son and said, “Don’t you find it extremely
curious that the word “explain” has two syllables?”
* * *
On his death bed, a certain mystic said that no one had fully understood
him…including himself. And — bang! (or maybe puff) he was outta there.
The Obituaries Editor of a local enlightenment paper, after hearing of this
episode, wishes us to make note of his comment on the matter. Comments he:
“The way to fully understand anything — no, make that everything — is in
finally realizing that there is no such animal as understanding, in other
words, Sweetheart, you can’t understand anything.
“Now shut up and go on about your life, or else die like that mystic and get
it the hell over with.”
And he signs off with, “Have a nice day, ya hear.”
(You think he actually works for a paper?)
To admit to anything is to confess to everything.
While with the ordinary the only essential thing is to be alive, with those
who would awaken it is also essential that they REMEMBER that they are
To admit to anything is to confess to the worst crime of all — the
stupidity of talking.
The title of one mystic’s current favorite book is “To Write Your Memoirs
You Must Know Nothing (This Also Applies To Thinking About Yourself).”
(He says he got it through The Crook Of The Month Club.)
Cliches: Verbal shortcuts for those too intelligent to waste unnecessary
To be “enlightened” it is only necessary to see one thing — the mind!
To see it clearly and constantly, under all conditions.
To picture enlightenment in terms more complex than this is to insult your
Thinking: Mental shortcuts for those too intelligent to waste their time
simply being conscious.
There are two dangers in asking a mystic what something he said meant:
one is that he will tell you, and the other is that he’ll say he doesn’t
The Game: If you become addicted to words, you’ll lose.