Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See below
News Item Gallery = jcap 97082-1994
Transcript = None
Key Words =
97082.994 10/27/97 Copyright J. M. Cox 1997
A father told his son a story:
“There was once a man who decided all that was needed to accomplish that
special task of changing his state of awareness was to constantly look at
his feet. And sure enough, when he’d do so, his awareness would
immediately shift into the state he sought.
“But a problem quickly became apparent. Almost as soon as he’d remember to
constantly look at his feet, and the shift in awareness took place, he’d
start to think about the whole affair, how successful and simple it was,
how often he forgot about it, how delighted he was to have discovered it
and so forth, and in doing so would cease looking at his feet and lose the
With that the father appeared to have ended the tale. And after a bit of
silence between them, the lad said, “You do know that you’ve already told me
basically that same story several hundred times already in various garb?”
“So why’s this one any different? What’s new with it? And why do you keep
repeating it to me?”
And the old man responded by taking a bus schedule from his pocket, which he
began to thumb through while muttering just loud enough to be heard, “You
know, I’ve never gotten around to actually going anywhere. Hmmm…let’s
A certain man recently seemed unable to not pose this question to himself.
“Is there any chance that the so-called ‘state of sleep’ from which mystics
believe they suffer and against which they struggle is caused not by a
faulty use of the mind, as they maintain, but rather by a faulty
understanding of the mind’s purpose?”
After proposing this possibility, he fell silent for a bit as he considered
it, then said, “Boy, if so, wouldn’t the joke be on them?”
you can’t fall down without the mind,
and you can’t get up without the mind,
you know, under these circumstances,
thinking of your “getting back up” as progress
doesn’t somehow smell per-zactly kosher and FDA approved.
* * *
One man had what he considered to be a bad habit, which he couldn’t seem to
give up, but he would feel momentarily “better” each time he’d remember his
desire to do so.
There was once a man who lived far up in the mountains who supposedly “knew
the secret,” and when anyone would come to him, asking how they too could
learn same, he would tell them, “Go off and sit silently among the trees
and do nothing but ‘think about thinking,’ and after twenty or thirty years,
if it all doesn’t become perfectly clear, then I will invite you to be my
guest and push me off a cliff…and talk bad about my mama.”
Homeowner’s Tip: If you want to rearrange your furniture, there are two ways
to approach it — one is poetic, theoretical, metaphorical even; and the
other is to just move the stuff around and be done with it.
While but a child, one man’s parents gave him a radio which played all of
the time. When young he hardly even noticed it, but later in life its
continual noise began to bother him greatly. But no matter what he tried,
he could find no way to permanently shut it off.
Damn! — what a sad story!
And now for a listener’s response to this story.
“I find the man that you reported on who had a radio always playing, that
he couldn’t turn off, to be a dunce. No one could be that stupid. There
had to be something that he could have done to shut it off.
“Jeeze, I can’t believe how dumb some people can be. Can’t you find more
intelligent and inspiring men to talk about? Surely there are a few people
out there not too big an idiot to locate their own nose…or tie their own
“Come on now, don’t keep telling us about just these few imbeciles…well,
have to stop here, ran out of paper.
“Yours, A Thoughtful Viewer.”
Pointing to an article in the newspaper, a man said to his basset hound,
“Well, Winfro, here’s something new to think about.”
And the dog’s impression was, “I can’t see that you need anything additional
to think about.”
(“Bet cha’ can’t eat just one!”
“It’s a bit late to come up with that now.”)
A Story Concerning The Constant Pressure Of Space
A man said to a mystic, “How are you doing these days?”
And the mystic replied, “Better, when there are no days.”
(The man later asked what space had to do with the story, obviously having
missed the point [had there been one].)
– – –
There was once a man who had a motto, “I don’t want to be too specific,”
whose ultimate success living thereby ultimately rendered him unseen.
A father advised a son, “If you are going to indulge in thinking, take up
To which the lad responded, “Judo, you mean?”
“Yes, that too — why not?”
* * *
Question: What is the average man’s error rate in his judgements of life?
One hundred percent, of course!…what’d you think it was?
The speaker for the day addressed the crowd thusly, “Those who undertake a
study of their mind, and pursuant to such attempt to bring same under their
control, are like men who proclaim that they will leap from the tops of
their ankles and soar away into the heavens.”
And a voice from the crowd called out, “That’s ridiculous — who in their
right mind would attempt such a thing?”
And the speaker feigned shock at the words, responding, “Who said anything
about people in their right minds?”
(At which point both he and the crowd had a good laugh over the obvious
joke. Well, that’s how the station manager told me to conclude the story
to take into account the sensibilities of some of our viewers. [Though, I’m
sure, not you.])
Long have men promoted the idea (accepted as meritorious and commendable) of
“the perfectibility of human existence,” which in truth would be “the
realization of no flaws existent.”
Or, as the chief of police said as one of his patrolmen drove a car across
his foot, “My cop runneth over.”
* * *
A certain man so pondered, “Is it truly correct to say that we think too
much, when we have no choice? — since the brain never ceases to think?
“Is the intent of the comment to actually say that we think too much to no
profitable end? Or perhaps that what we normally call thinking would be
more accurately identified by some other name or description?
“Ummm…who knows? (Certainly not thought!)”
Far ago and long away was once a school dedicated to the struggle to
achieve enlightenment, which called itself by the name Don’t Waste Your
Time. (And, I might add, was the astounding success of its day.)
(Have you yet to notice that you can get by telling the same setup to a
joke, over and over again, as long as you continually change the punch line?
And what is even more scrumptious is that the same is true vice versa.
One eternal, immutable punch line, repeating itself time and time again,
right before men’s eyes. And they, forever oblivious to the fact, through
being constantly distracted by meaningless, apparent shifts in the setups.)
One man privately designed this “Get Well (Or At Least Better)” card:
Without the mind, there are no problems;
without the mind, there are no questions;
without the mind, there are no fears;
without the mind, there are no regrets;
and without the mind, there is not ‘me’ to be asleep,
or to awaken —
what else the hell d’ya need to know, dammit!
Have a nice (or at least tolerable) day.
The actual difference between a mystic and ordinary people is this.
Ordinary people have one state of consciousness, while mystics have two:
the ordinary state, which everyone has; and another one, in which they find
grave fault with the ordinary one.
(“So that’s it for that bit of ‘news’ is it? So where’s the notion of it
being decision time come in? Hmmm? Just tell me that!”)
– – –
And Now For Some Important News Regarding What This Is All About
Those who have to ask what this is all about will never understand what this
is all about.
* * *
There was once a man with a home which he’d sometimes leave, and when he’d
return he had the impression that, when he’d been gone, he’d been another
(My god, what could you say to such a deluded man?…if you could catch
After a certain mystic had omitted that he liked music, and someone asked
him what kind, he replied, “The kind that is outside.”
And as everyone who heard him cut their eyes about in the attempt to see
where or what he was referring to, he did not, and was not surprised that
they, misunderstanding him, did.
There was once a man named Bob, whose life revolved around the slogan
“Help me, God!”…a deity (it turned out) whose own motto was “Help me,
Those most captive of the illusion of having a self are always those most
impressed by themselves.
How One Man Now Saves Money Previously Spent On Gossip Magazines
Explains he: “Once you know your life story, you know everyone’s life story.
At the briefing each morning, before the humans were sent out on the
streets, local conditions would always conclude his comments by saying to
them, “Okay, let’s do it, but remember, it’s a strange universe out there,
and by you believing that it is, you help make it so. Now, let’s go!”
The distinction between thought and all descriptions of life and the clear,
silent, direct perception of it is that the former is so…piddling…
While visiting a mystical lodge, a man asked the head master, “What are
At which the mystic became miffed, feeling insulted that he was mistaken to
Fable For The Day
Before man came along, no one had any questions, and now that he is here
(with all his damn questions) no one has any answers.
And a listener reacted to the tale thusly: “In that it had no animal
characters nor any clear moral, I believe you are unjustified in calling
this a fable.”
* * *
The oft expressed idea in the mystical literature that “I will not have
achieved supreme enlightenment until all men are enlightened” is in truth a
noting that you are not fully enlightened until everyone seems to you to be
enlightened. Which is to say that you no longer have any complaint with any
man, and that everyone seems to you to be fully realized, without flaws, and
Okay, how do you explain this?
There once existed two equally valid schools devoted to activity such as
this, who had two quite apparently conflicting names to describe their
approach. One was called Be Quiet, and the other was known as Make Your
Talking To Yourself Profitable.
…How do you explain this?
One chap’s query:
“What is thought but the ongoing attempt to give to some otherwise
meaningless brain activity the appearance of significance?”
(You wanna answer ‘im?…)
One man altered an old habit (to wit), one day when he again chastised
himself with the words, “I’ve got to do better,” he responded, “Than who?”
Then said, “You know who!”
And responded, “No, I don’t.”
Then insisted, “But you must!”
And responded again, “But I don’t — so tell me, do better than who?”
And ultimately, at that point, found himself at a loss for an answer.
(He later asked me to ask you if you had one.)
The booger-boo power of the “illusion-of-a-self” is not simply in the
illusion itself, but in its ability to produce a picture of itself in
Until you have a stable comprehension of the fact that all thought is
meaningless, you will be much troubled by thought.
There was once a man who undertook the study of an extraordinary subject.
He began with texts consisting of thousands of pages, then moved to some
merely in the hundreds, then later narrowed down his inquiries to ideas that
could be expressed on but a single page…then a paragraph…then a
sentence, and finally even less than that.
And even though he’d initially been a true lover of books, and still
understood why, he ultimately found himself allergic to, even made sick by,
ideas outside of himself.
On one world appeared a certain phenomenon which in some circles was
accepted as being of supreme importance!
Only thing was, these circles were made up entirely of the phenomenon
– – –
Once upon a time, a mirror looked at itself and asked, “Do I look familiar
* * *
Right after his daily lecture, the head of a mystical school said to one of
the young monks, “You remain far from enlightenment if you still find talk
about it interesting.”
And after a perplexing pause, the monk replied, “But that can’t be true!”
And the mystic said, “If it makes sense to you it can.”
And for thousands of years afterwards, whenever particularly perceptive men
would hear this story told, to a man their immediate and common reaction
would be, “Damn!”
And now, just for fun, a final little quiz game for the people here today.
Question: What is the worst thought you can ever have?
Answer: That it is you having the thought.
What’s an even worse thought to have?
Answer: That it is you wanting to awaken.
So, how’d you like it? And everyone said, “Damn!”
(Don’chu jus’ love it?)