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News Item Gallery = jcap 97081-1988
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97081.988 10/22/97 Copyright J. M. Cox 1997
On the quiz show “Dumb,” who would be the winner, that is, who would be the
dumbest? The person who thinks that they’re dumb? The person who thinks
that they’re intelligent? The person who thinks that they’re intelligent
and other people are dumb? Or the host? — for even being a party to it
“Daddy, are they still reading news about the mind and they’ve just changed
“Son, I believe that, based on that, I’ll buy a vowel.”
“Gee, that’s great, Dad — here’s a ‘u.'”
“Har, har, and here’s a ‘u’ to you too, son.”
And with that, the bartender told ’em both to get the hell out…of his
One guy’s latest view of the whole affair:
“Living the life of a thoughtful human on this planet is like being on the
beach, and someone has wandered off and left a radio playing next to where
A reporter visited a mystic and said, “I understand that you won’t do
To which he replied, “More precisely is that I can’t do interviews.”
And the reporter said, “Wait, if we are trying to be more precise, then
shouldn’t it be that you won’t do interviews? — because you clearly could.”
And the mystic replied, “No, you do not understand.” “The reality of it
most precisely put is that I cannot do interviews. For no one awake can,
without putting their state in jeopardy.”
To understand what the enlightened think of as a “metaphor,” you must take
anything you hear regarding two or more people as having occurred in the
mind of one.
A speaker declared, “That unique inner world, available only to man, depends
entirely on thought!”
And someone in the audience muttered aloud, “So, that’s what they’re calling
bullshit nowadays, huh?”
There was once a man who had two homes, both of which offered their own
joys — but he (for some unknown reason) began to wonder if there was not
someplace somewhere just in between the two where he might reside more
Until you realize that all thought is only about words, and hence all talk
is solely about itself, words will forever confuse, if not torment, you.
Just as alcohol is of importance only to those who drink, so too is thought
of significance only to the ignorant.
A man said, “Once I was imprisoned, but now I am free.”
And someone asked where he had been imprisoned.
And he replied, “Oh, I was not actually imprisoned, I just thought I was,
then I got over it — and that was my freedom.”
To be asleep is to expect tomorrow to be better (or at least different).
(Yeah, you’re right, ordinary minds apply this same definition to an
entirely different concept.)
Here’s The Big Doctor’s Only Prescription
“There are no medicines — only poisons; live with this fact and save
yourself a heap’a trouble.”
First man says to second man, “Are you the one I heard who’s suddenly
developed the ability to know what’s going on in people’s minds?”
“Yes, I am,” he replies.
And the first man says, “Well, I just wanted to stop by and express my
– – –
A citizen walks up to a bunch of cops standin’ around together and says,
“Okay, what’s the problem here?”
As memory said to association, “If bunches aren’t the problem, collections
* * *
On one planet their motto is, “If knowledge is rated, it’s overrated.”
And one man changed his name to “Reaper” in the attempt to bring himself
closer to that actual location where the separation of wheat and chaff takes
A man verbally engaged a mystic, “I hear it said that there is a limit to
To which the wise one grunted his agreement.
And the man continued, “But could you tell me when this limit is reached?”
And the mystic replied, “When you have said the first word.”
There are bursts of noise — then moments of silence,
bricks — then mortar,
wide-open spaces — then bunches of stuff.
(Are you catching the pattern? Yeah, you, mind — I’m talking to you!)
Since life is not packaged up into predictable bundles, thought makes up
for this deficiency.
In his will, one father bequeathed to his son this piece of advice, “Never
answer the door.”
(The boy had the wherewithal to realize that this was direction intended
for his mind. And never mind that he’d been hoping for the old man’s
New Knowledge: The repositioning of yourself on an imaginary merry-go-round.
Believing that things thought-about provide the reasons for them being
thought about is the same as believing that looking at the sun will reveal
the cause of night and day.
Question: If you entered a race imagining the prize to be a solid gold
sword, and upon finishing found that you received not the imagined gold
sword but a real steel shovel, would you be disappointed?
One man was ultimately surprised to finally find that — except in his
mind — he didn’t dislike anybody, wasn’t critical of anything, didn’t want
anything in particular, and just all-in-all didn’t really have much of
anything to say about being alive.
A certain man, with certain experiences, had this to note: “What is
enlightenment but being free of your attitude?”
Everyone believes they live by a river — they’re mistaken, they live by
an ocean. In other words, thoughts don’t actually “run” anywhere, they just
bob, up and down, forever…and ever…and ever…and ever.
To be enlightened is to not know whether you exercise free will in living
your life or whether by living your life you produce free will — and not
(Above all — and not caring!)
“Papa?” asked a lad. “Are there, as legends have it, marks, signs, and
extraordinary stigmas by which men more conscious may be recognized?”
“Indeed so,” his father replied.
“And what might they be?” the boy further inquired.
To which his pater replied, “Most distinct is their lack of concern.”
“About what?” asked the lad.
“Just lack of concern,” replied the dad.
There is hip, and there is non-hip, and then there is super hip, which
occurs when the hip and the non-hip cannot determine whether or not
something is hip or non-hip.
Myth tells of a road to another world, by which was a sign that said, “If
You’re Worried About It, Then It Is Not Life That You’re Living.”
The reality in which men’s thoughts tell them they live is forever
impossibly disjointed, irrationally selective, and uselessly limited, a
world that is seen solely through whatever words the mind has available
to describe it.
One man announced, “Two pieces of advice: one, old and worn out; the other,
new and worn out.” “Don’t be too quick to judge; don’t be too quick to do
anything! Okay, so I ‘m old and worn out! — so what?”
Here’s the way one man put it to himself.
“Okay, look, here’s the deal: I’m either thinking of thought, or thought is
thinking for me.”
Hey, is that a “deal” or what? (And upon hearing me say that, the man we
were just talking about said, “Cute, real cute.”)
A man inquired of himself, “When am I at my most ridiculous?”
And replied to himself, “When I am believing that I truly do not ‘know what
The Final Word Regarding All Forms Of Judgement, Discernment, And Criticism
Nothing you think about anything is correct.
* * *
One man’s motto is “Lie under a tree that no one wants.”
* * *
Concerning A Certain Non-Public Construction Project
A mystic must use whatever works — for the moment — but never get attached
* * *
A father said to a son, “Although they may strike you as being two different
things altogether, and while others may not understand your position, you
will do yourself great potential good by considering that words and thoughts
are the exact same thing.”
Compared to the physical life we actually live, the mental one we imagine
we do is like an unfinished impressionistic painting done by a drowsy,
parochial myopic…who is color blind.
An Important Fact, Hard To Keep In Mind (I Wonder Why)
The business of the mind is to think! — not think about what it’s thinking.
Now this, from our department of “Major Breakthroughs!” (Maybe.)
After years of struggling absolutely to the contrary, one man has presently
concluded that it’s “probably okay” to go ahead and be as asleep as you’ve
always been, as long as you “pay attention to what you’re doing!”
After the king had just been presented with a totally unexpected situation,
his prime minister said to him, “Well, I guess this gives you something to
And to himself the monarch said, “But if I was truly as wise as I am
believed to be, then nothing would ever give me something to think about.”
One man began to think of the experience that others have called “waking
up” and “being enlightened” as “I did it!”
(A bit further down the line he started to wonder if it should be “it did
There was once a man who secretly placed listening devices in the homes of
both his enemies and those whom he admired, so that he could learn their
most personal thinking through hearing their most private talk.
But he eventually began to worry that they knew of his deception, and that
everything they said in conversation (and to themselves aloud) was done
solely to confuse and mislead him, and was never in any way sincere.
(You’re not going to lower us both to the squalid position of having me add
a moral or concluding commentary to this story, are you?)
If the realization that you cannot think, period, outside the use of words,
and hence all thought is about words and nothing else, was held unbroken
long enough, it would surely scare the last vestiges of sleep out of the
weariest of you.
Once, on a national holiday, a father gave a son this festive advice,
“Always treat the words of others, that annoy you, as though they said them
just to annoy you.”
(And as he stuck a lit rocket in his pocket, added, “You’ll never go wrong.”
If the awakened mind were to perceive a demon, its name would be Gravity.
On a note,
one man wrote,
“If all thought is bullshit, then
is not all talk but the attempt to camouflage bullshit?”
One man walks up to the Customer Service counter and says, “I want to return
And the clerk on duty replied, “Don’t we all?”
* * *
As he lay peacefully on his life bed, a father looked up to his son and
said, “Still, the best advice I can give you is — get out more often.”