Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 97043 -1843
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1843 97043 04/28/97 Copyright J. M. Cox 1997]
Two soldiers in a tank were conversing and one of them said, “It’s important
to ‘cling to life.'”
“Ah, so,” replied his cohort, “but knowing which part to cling to, being the
And the first fighter was suddenly stunned by an enlightenment, having never
realized that indeed there was a “secret” regarding survival, lurking unseen
It’s important to cling to life, but even more profitable to know exactly
which part requires clinging.
And a boy said, “The Romanoffs are not all dead, my cat buried them in the
* * *
Referring to the voice he continually heard in his head, one man said,
“Just who are you that I accept as being me?” “Never mind questions
regarding being more conscious and enlightened, here’s the immediate
mystery that must be solved.”
Some creatures in one solar system were given a particular talent, but for
some reason they adopted the belief that to properly exercise same they
needed to plan and practice it before putting it into action.
Many of these poor creatures ended up not only with bad skin conditions,
but unpredictable glimpses of sunlight as well.
Back on this planet, one day, some hippos were “taking the waters” at a
local spa, and as he reached for a fresh heated towel, one of them said to
his friends, “There is a strange theory being floated over where my brother
lives, which claims that our health would be demonstratively improved if we
would but ‘think more about it.'”
And as they all enjoyed a rollicking good laugh over this, one of them said,
“What is ‘more’?”
You know, it’s way, way easy to spoil the hobby of “being lost.”
Talking to that voice in his head that he’d always taken to be him, one man
said, “You call this a me?”
There was once a man who went into the high mountains of a faraway land to
study at certain schools devoted to the discovery of The Great Secret.
The first school he attended was called “How Amazing.” The next one was
known as “I Can’t Believe It.” Then he went to one named “The Hell You
Say.” And next he attended one called “Oh Yeah?” And studied lastly with
a group known as “Why Ask Us? — You’re High Mountains and Faraway Lands —
Look Where It Will Do You Some Good.”
A myth says that when the supply sergeant was handing out binoculars to all
the creatures of this universe, he mistakenly issued men minds which had a
trick mechanism therein such that when you look through them, little
invisible needles would pop out and stick you in the eyes, causing
undiagnosable eye damage.
…And of course, you’re correct: if it is “undiagnosable,” what difference
can it make?
Such, as always, is the benefit of not knowing. (And the curse of those
who at least suspect.)
It is its uninterrupted flow that insures the purity of a stream.
On another planet, a father said to a son (neither of the two being of
emerald persuasion), “Continually thinking of yourself as being green, with
no resistance, will result in you ultimately taking yourself to be so.”
Some years later the elder added, “Believing that it is either good or bad
to think of yourself as being something other than what you naturally,
nonverbally are merely adds support to the conceptual trompe l’oeil;
how better to exhaust the energy of a misspent arrow than by glaring,
public news coverage?”
And some years after that the boy said, “So you’re still saying (as I’ve
heard you, all my life) that the proper approach and cure for everything
is in its impartial study?”
And his father replied, “Yes, I have long so said to you, but you are no
longer a child.” “It is time you ask and see for yourself what the ultimate
payoff is of looking at an illusion (whether objectively or otherwise).”
And the lad thought for a moment and said, “The reward surely is in
recognizing a misrepresentation as a misrepresentation.”
“But where is the ‘reward’ if the illusion still persists? More is needed.”
There is a certain poison that is not deadly, only if you drink it
A boy said, “I feel uneasy.”
And his father responded, “It’s because you’re alive.”
“No,” countered the lad, “I mean I feel REALLY uneasy.”
“Oh,” replied the father. “In that case, you’re thinking about being
A man once dreamed that he’d swallowed a “me,” but couldn’t tell if it’d
become part of his container, or its contents.
– – –
One man’s latest motto declares, “Don’t cut me off in the middle of a–“
– – –
A stranger noted to a man, “The truth has no children.”
And the man said, “By that, do you mean–“
“By that I mean,” said the stranger, “that reality has no sub-realities, but
such a picture is perceived due to men’s minds being subdivisions of a
universal, undivided intelligence.”
And thus was the man made aware that truth indeed has no children, in that
all realization that comes to a man does so by him giving birth to himself.
(Thus, perhaps, the basis for the man’s motto of “don’t cut me off in the
middle of a–“)
On one world you are not considered “fashionably stupid” unless you are
stupid all the time.
Most thinking mens’ most pleasurable pastime is in them thinking about
themselves as individuals of much importance, but for a man who begins to
see what life is truly about, this is all the height of not only folly but
costly error as well.
“Why do you so commonly use such terms as ‘when a man begins to see what
life is truly about…” rather than ‘when a man sees what life is truly
“Two purposes: one, to satisfy the needs of children who may hear me; and
the other, to pacify me when I’m thinking as a child.”
The boy pondered this reply for a moment, then said, “Quite a waste, huh?”
“Quite a waste indeed.”
Fact: One thing always leads to another.
Fact: Only within a closed structure.
Fact: Those within a closed structure can never be aware of the structure’s
Fact: What’d ya expect? — what’d ya want from me? — why the hell you
wastin’ your time lookin’ over there?
And a man said to his cat, “It’s good that I have you so there’s at least
one person with whom I don’t have to have these little chats.”
– – –
And another man who heard it said that “birds of a feather flock to bad
weather” thought, “Even more reason to stay home…alone…in my mother’s
* * *
Many eons ago (in Atlantis’ South American sister city) it was believed
that the proper way to combat unprofitable thinking was to engage in certain
practices specifically devoted to this end. But later (in certain post-
Atlantis Siberian circles) the accepted view became that the only possible
way to ever directly deal with the thinking that involuntarily appears in
man was to ignore the son-of-a-bitch.
(And although the natives of that linguistic region lacked a term comparable
to “son-of-a-bitch,” that’s still how they looked at it, and don’t hound me
to death telling me that this can’t be, ’tis only men who are pathologically
entangled in the notion that, without specific words, certain ideas cannot
be thought of who are still bound by such parochial retina-bustin’ beliefs.
Where you from, anyway? — Earth or someplace like that?)
“The human mind is the universe’s only container which consists of nothing
more than its contents — thus the two are synonymous.”
“You mean the only thing besides reality?”
“And that also.”
And from our “Thinker’s Guide,” tonight’s tip:
If you’re full of thoughts, you can’t think.
– – –
…and from the “Secret Section” of our guide, this super cue:
If thinking amounted to no more than people normally think it does, it’d
hardly be worth thinking about.
– – –
And a boy said to his father, “Irregardless of the fact (and don’t bother
telling me that there’s no such word as ‘fact’) of talking about thinking
and thoughts, is it not across-the-board so that being full of anything will
keep you from doing anything?”
* * *
One man considered, “If you could abandon the idea of there being a you
inside of you that is you, the whole notion of enlightenment would take a
There was once a fish who began speaking metaphorically about the water
in which they lived; he began referring to it as “thoughts.”
A boy asked his father, “How can you tell you’re beginning to recognize
“You start to substitute the idea of escape for the fact that there is
nothing to escape from. …(And even if there was, there’s no place to
According to rumor, there was once a land of creatures so dumb that they
thought ideas of being more conscious actually had something to do with
being more conscious.
…(Takes your breath away, huh?)
One man said, “I’m my own favorite hobby.”
And someone corrected, “You mean thinking about yourself is.”
A man asked a stranger, “Why can words be fun?”
“Do words sometimes cause you to have fun?” he replied.
“Yes, they do,” said the man.
“Well, there you are,” said the stranger. Which made the man wonder just
where indeed he truly was.
Men are wont to claim that they can “drown in ideas,” but note that such
pronouncements come from his nonphysical side, and not the one which can
actually expire from lack of oxygen.
Only totally deranged squirrels believe they can be injured by trees.
And a chap with important credentials and a fur coat shouted out, “To hell
with my environment.” And all mirrored images of him collapsed.
And not tonight’s Moment Of Inspiration:
If you take thinking to be anything more than a passing pleasantry, you’re
what is known in technical circles as a moron.
(“Well, hey!” notes a well-known ex-moron, “I find it inspiring.”)