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1841 97042 04/25/97 Copyright J. M. Cox 1997
One man had two wives —
one man had two masters —
one man had two homes —
one man had two jobs.
Everyone has two of something,
a situation that a few find destructive.
Sitting on his back steps, a boy mused, “How come that sometimes things
seem simple, and at others seem complex? And why can even the same thing
at one time seem simple, then later complex?”
And after mulling on this self-proposed question for a bit he looked down
at his dog, lying in the yard, and said to him, “How come you think that is,
And as a lesson in nonverbal approaches to problems, Bosco was tempted to
jump up and run over and bite the lad with no warning, but withheld the
action, remembering that he had not had his most recently due rabies shots.
A man once asked himself, “What would it be like to be conscious but unable
to speak?…not merely mute, but lacking a language?”
More than a few people unknowingly speak of liberation and enlightenment
throughout their lives while having no awareness or interest in same.
(It seems as though, just like the rest of us, life daydreams.)
* * *
The speaker so spoke, “You live life physically, but think you do mentally.”
And a voice in the crowd called out, “So? The point being?”
A man went to a doctor about a complaint, and after a brief examination
the physician said, “Your problem is obvious.”
And the man said, “Strange…that’s what the obvious said to my problem
One man one day said to himself, “The most destructive aspect of knowing
that men before me have gotten free is that I want to compare myself to
– – –
And now back to The Big Prize Game.
Okay, contestants, here’s the final big question:
To a man of greater awareness, what is even worse than the destructive?
…Okay, what’s that you say, contestant number four?…you say “the
annoying”? Hey, we have ourselves a winner here!
* * *
Throughout his being, one day, a man cried out, “If I don’t start living
now, I’m a dead man. I mean NOW, dammit! — this (and every other) very
The question was asked, “Does talking about it always make it more
complicated than it is?”
“Yes,” he replied.
And was further asked, “Does it have to be this way?”
And, “Yes,” he answered for a long time.
On one world the creatures’ intelligence can be measured on a tripartite
scale, with those at the far dumbest end having little regard for
intelligence, then those in the middle having much respect therefor, and
then those at the extreme advanced end seeing through the whole facade.
– – –
A man once went to study with a wise teacher, and before long became even
wiser than the one teaching, but only he realized it — not the teacher.
How curious things progress
within the confines
an enclosed space.
(Hint: If in your personal dictionary the term “enclosed space” is not
accompanied by a picture of the human mind, your reference library is still
in its nascent stage.)
* * *
And the much-anticipated concluding speaker at the conference banquet had
these concluding words to his speech: “…and as we professionals all know,
perhaps the most dangerous psychological activity of them all is talking to
And from the audience a voice asked, “You are referring to thinking?”
“What else?” he replied. “Are we or are we not professionals?”
(Many of the waiters cleaning off the tables did not understand these
remarks. But then again, they are not trained professionals in the field,
they’re simply people.)
Two Facts For Your Morning Cereal
Fact: One man lived a charmed life.
Fact: There is no such thing as a charmed life.
Fact: How would you know?
“That’s three facts.” So sue me…or have toast.
As he reached across the table, a father said in a son’s direction, “You do
realize that, at the molecular level, every day’s Sunday?”
And as always the lad was pleased that the source of his existence would
take the time to notice him by way of a word play on his position in the
And while men ordinarily show no signs of recognizing such, life continually
does the same for them by way of allowing them to live yet another minute.
And a boy asked his father, “Just what was the purpose of the inclusion of
that last line about life’s awareness of us individually?”
And the elder made derisively scoffing noises as he jellied his toast.
And as they strung him up by his thoughts, he screamed in a dramatically
theatrical voice, “I am not a grain product — I am a man!”
(Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say…under torture.)
When one man heard a song entitled “It’s Raining In My Heart” he thought,
“How curious, that’s not at all where the rust is in me…”
And a boy asked his father, “What was the definition of satire before it
became ‘a homing signal for morons’?”
And a well-turned-out gentleman asked his local expert, “Do you by chance
have even the slightest idea what’s going on here?”
And the expert replied, “If I did, would I still be here?”
Words either blind you or direct you. And even when they direct you, if
you look at them more than a couple of times, they’ll still blind you.
Thought-based Enlightenment (or if you prefer, Intellectual Enlightenment):
The tossing of a rope to a drowning man while he’s being hanged.
* * *
Once men graduate from athletic activities, what they would then enjoy most
would be to read aloud the words of other apparently insightful men.
“Is this listed as scheduled in our TV guide, Homer?”
“Not yet, dear, not quite yet.”
(Don’t you just love it how, when certain things have not yet reached
fruition, life’ll make men, in reference thereto, use the words “not quite
yet,” implying that it’s close, that it’s certainly only a matter of time.)
“Did you say something, dear?…”
When a lad, a boy would ask his dad, “What is progress?”
And he would reply, “It is spelled m-a-n.”
Then when he matured, and he asked the old man, “What is progress?” the
elder replied, “Can you spell i-l-l-u-s-i-o-n?”
But is was well into his fifth decade before the younger fully grasped the
A man called up the telephone company and said, “I want to complain —
nothing comes through my phone but words — and I’m sick of it!”
And the operator (as she’d been instructed) immediately turned in the man’s
name to life for appropriate punishment.
Okay, contestants, it’s time for our Bonus Round. Answer this question
correctly and receive this fine prize that Madeline is posing with and
pointing to now.
Listen carefully, and be exact in your response, for I must take the first
answer I hear from you.
Now here’s the question. True or false: the greatest pitfall in attempting
to achieve the enlightenment is in believing that there is some way to go
…Okay, the clock’s running.
One day a man’s body and mind were chatting and the mind said, “Ah,
problems, what delicious little creatures.” “Problems are just made to be
solved, or at least worked on.”
And his body replied, “What are problems?”
And the mind pretended to feel sorry for the body for being so backward and
sophisticated — okay, and the mind felt sorry for the body for being so
backward and etc. That make you feel better?…Mister Mind?
One man had two soccer balls that he’d kick around in his back yard.
One of them did “okay,” but the other one would kick him back.
A father once noted to a son, “If you are not attentive and present at this
very instant, you are not alive at this very instant.”
And to himself the boy said, “How could it be otherwise?”
One man named his boat “The Continual Reexamination Of The Obvious.”
According to myth, Adam’s first son (now forgotten) was his favorite, who he
named Speak Up, Dammit — Speak Up!
(Somewhat clouding the innate beauty and message of this tale is an addition
by some which claims that Adam only did this in a crude attempt to make up
with God after that certain “unpleasantness” that passed between them.
When he was at home, one man was more like himself than when he was not.
If you are not at home for sufficiently extended, continual periods,
you’ll never know who you are.
One singer entitled his latest song “I’ve Lived My Life With A Stranger.”
(And did I note that he lives alone?)
A boy one day asked his dad, “I’ve heard it said that men are actually
strangers to themselves. Can this be so?”
“Not only can it be so,” replied his father, “but irrelevant as well.”
“Hah!” exclaimed the lad, “that same old combination, once again.”
“Just like ham and eggs,” said the old man, “just like ham and anything
else you wanna put with it.”
And once again the boy was delighted to be aware of how the plate of life
is big enough to hold anything you put on it…including thoughts.
Just as he was about to expire, he heard a voice say, “Don’t be so hasty.”
Then just as he was about to get real stupid, he heard a voice say, “Don’t
be so hasty.” Then just as he was going to try and be other than what he
was, he heard a voice say, “Don’t be so hasty.” So, given the seriousness
and redundancy of the situation, he went to a well-known psychic and asked
if he had any pudding to recommend.
Some years later, when he was quite old, his grandfather said to him, “Can
you believe that there are still humans in this day and age who have actual
faith in words?”
And while the elder was guffawing, slapping his thigh, and choking, the man
immediately donned an expression of complete agreement and bewilderment so
as to hide the truth about himself from the old man.
One man privately named his efforts “Thoughts are a knife,” and continually
reminded himself not to cut himself.
* * *
A boy said to his father, “Let’s play a game — you ask me a question and
I’ll answer it.”
“All right,” said the dad, “try this: Is it possible to be more conscious
But the lad was too smart to fall into that one, eh what?…
I said, eh what?…
If is not correct to say that mind is everything, or that effort is
everything, or that awareness is everything — there is nothing that is
A man asked a stranger, “How come familiar faces don’t know anything of
“You’ve been talking to yourself too much again,” he replied-in-his-eyed.
A man went to The Grand Quiz Master and asked him, “Do you have two
separate books of all the questions and all the answers?”
And the grand one nodded that, yes, he did.
And the man then said, “May I take a look at them?”
And the grand one nodded, no, you can’t (’cause the last person who did
realized that both books were the same.)
– – –
After he died, the molecular cosmos asked a man what he’d like to come back
as, and he asked if anyone knew the April future prices of pink grapefruit.
* * *
One man finally abandoned a wise man with whom he’d been studying,
concluding that “if he was really wise, he wouldn’t waste his time with the
likes of me.”
…And, yes, he too had been talking to himself too much again.
There was once a man who had a hair-trigger temper — he got a crew cut
to slow it down; then later he entered an organization devoted to the
expanding of awareness, and ended up with a hair-trigger something-or-other
all over again.
“Ahhh,” sighed a grandfatherly type to a tyke. “I can remember the
extremely ancient and good old ‘circus days’ when religion would shoot
people out of cannons, and their desire for understanding would catch them
and throw them back.”
And after a darn nice pause of silence, the lad asked, “Then what would
“How you reckon they determine exactly just what is a grandfatherly type?”
“Wow-w-w,” breathed the tyke.
Within a mere split second after he died, one man exclaimed, “Huh, and I had
every little detail up to now planned. Huh, I say.”
And death turned the page on the man and he suddenly realized that he’d
spent his entire life with the wrong hair style.
The latest theory on how to eradicate civilization is to ignore it.
(This from the same man who had the same theory last year regarding words.)
And coming from behind the barn, a voice cried out, “Brutus, Brutus, why
doth thou betray me?”
And another voice replied, “I believe you mean Judas, not Brutus. Plus,
betrayal should be in the past tense, not the present.”
Then the barn added, “When it comes to the power of words and the mind, you
two done stepped in too much of it.”
(And neither of the voices had the guts to ask, “Stepped in too much of
A man stopped the conductor as he passed by and asked, “Exactly where is
this train going?”
And the official leaned over close and patted the man comfortingly on the
shoulder and replied, “You silly boy.”
– – –
And then there was that day in May (that I told you about) when one man got
life on the phone and said, “I guess this is your idea of a joke.”
And life replied, “Don’t kid yourself, you’ve never even been close to
seeing what I’d call a joke.”
And with that the man attempted to tear up his train tickets, but the damn
things wouldn’t tear (thank you).
When you know the origins of things
you have no problems with things.