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1793 97019 02/28/97 Copyright J. M. Cox 1997
One guy used to gaze at a distant mountaintop and think, “If I could reach
the top of that mountain, I’d be a different man.”
And after many years of planning and effort, one day he reached his goal
and made it to the top of that distant peak, and sure enough, once there,
he was a different man — he was then a man who had no interest in climbing
…And upon being polled, 92.6% of all mystics, living and dead, said
they’d’ave just as soon never heard that story.
Ah, never mind them — here’s somethin’ for you:
The way you can be sure you haven’t awakened and just haven’t noticed it is
that there’re things that still bother you (or at least you’ll admit that
they do [same thing]).
An unruly child will never stay home
to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
As they strolled through the woods, a man asked a mystic how to describe
“this secret we search for.” And the mystic pointed down to a stream and
said, “The reflections you see therein are constant, but the water in which
they are reflected is never the same.”
An idiot child,
no matter how taught,
will never absorb
a language not his.
One man says, “I used to feel a great deal of pressure, but since thinking
about it less, it has greatly decreased.
“(I almost said ‘miraculously decreased’ but the closer I get to seeing what
this is all about the more distant becomes the notion of anything being
miraculous; it is in fact things mundane, routine, and everyday which are
astounding, and the only miracle being that we do not normally see them as
“Yes! — I used to feel a great deal of pressure, but since thinking about it
less, it has damn-near disappeared.”
And now for tonight’s question in celebration of Transcendental History
In a herd of mystics, how can you spot the one who is deeply concerned?
…That’s correct, he’ll be the one stumbling and falling down, tempting the
…Of course, as always, being of the mystical persuasion carries with it
its own subtle side benefits, in this case being that a man more aware can
only be trampled by himself. Ain’t it downright neat to have no one to
blame but you? And then of course to discover the dreadful truth about
what your “you” is? (Sigh. Is there no shame for the alert?)
A runaway child will never come home
to collect the reward you’ve compiled.
One man said that he used to have the “Buddha Disease,” but got over it.
And another asked, “Did you say the ‘Boogie Disease’?”
“Naw!” replied the man, “I said the Buddha Disease.”
And the other guy scratched his chin, then said, “I don’t b’lieve I’ve ever
heard of the Buddha disease — I’ve heard of the Boogie Disease.”
“All right, dammit!” replied the first man, “I got over the Boogie Disease
— does that satisfy you?”
And the second said, “Oh, I was quite satisfied before you even got here
and started talking to me.”
And the first guy suddenly grabbed him in a full hug and cried, “Buddha —
One man said, “You’re on my list.”
And the other man said, “I don’t have a list.”
And the first man said, “All right, that’s better.”
One man grew especially weary of his ordinary state of awareness, beginning
to think of himself as a “pack mule for ghosts.”
A man asked a mystic, “What do you know about awakening?”
“Nothing now,” he replied, “you should’ve asked me before I awakened.”
“Ah, Istanbul — that most beautiful of imaginary cities!”
…But don’t be upset, everything’s “real” from a distance.
keep your distance.
One man worked for the same company for forty years, and when his pension
arrived, it never arrived, and man! was he relieved.
…(See, he thought he’d reached the end of the line before the train ran
And a man asked a mystic, “What do you know about freedom?”
“Nothing now,” he replied. “Should’ve asked me while I was still
* * *
Once unruly — always so,
once a runaway — never to return.
A man only has what he has,
and if he knows not clearly what he has,
he has nothing.
* * *
One man says, “After some years of effort, I could subdue the beast while
alone in meditation, but then when around people they made me again want
“Then I discovered the trick: If other people make you want to think, then
don’t think about other people! It’s actually quite simple…well, you
know what I mean — it’s quite simple to describe, but hey! ain’t it all?”
Well, I’m sure we all understand what he is trying to convey, but what he
said about it being “simple to describe” is less than fully revealing, in
that a man who can, to a comprehensible degree, describe such matters to
ordinary ears is likely to be taken as quite extraordinary, while among the
extraordinary the distinction ‘twixt descriptions and doing is more
pronounced and better understood.
…And still, what he said is worthy of note:
If other people make you want to think, then don’t think about other people.
One man thought, “Maybe if I quit calling The Great Struggle a struggle,
and The Secret Effort an effort, they’ll go back to deliverin’ pizzas to my
…Maybe’s a big word my friend — but not that big!
An unfaithful child is nothing but grief,
and a parent who grieves — a fool in the dark.
Man’s Thought Machine Atop His Other Operations
The mind is like a loudmouthed, obnoxious, and pretentious passenger riding
a bus…and with some question as to whether he actually paid for a ticket.
I stared at a movie,
then at a photograph,
then at a painting,
then at a blank wall,
not immediately recognizing that it was all
a matter of diminished sight and sound.
Flowers bloom from the outside in;
trees grow from the top down;
rivers flow from the bottom up,
and men discover their nature in an opposite direction.
One man’s “Here’s The Way I Do It”: I remember the future,
and plan the past.
A man asked a mystic, “Can you be both a poet and be awakened?”
And although the mystic did not reply, if he had, he would have asked the
man, “Can you drive a stock car while performing a circumcision?”
Forget about supernatural circumstances:
Everyone who has thoughts is “demon possessed.”
…So, okay then, maybe being liberated is being able to drive in a NASCAR
race while performing an exorcism.
There was once a man who had a container that he thought he carried things
in, but any time he’d look to see what was in there it’d be empty! — yet,
just as soon as he’d look and find it empty he’d immediately forget what had
just occurred and go back to believing that he was carrying something in it.
This scene replayed itself millions, perhaps billions, of times, until one
day he looked in a particular way, only to see that the container itself did
From our “Randy Dandy, Ain’t It Handy” handbook of thumbnail guides, this:
The way to tell that you’re taking the mind too seriously is if you’re —
taking it seriously.
A man struggling for the awakening, fighting-the-good-fight and getting
close, has been described as someone who’s swallowed a hairball and’s got
it halfway down.
To himself, one man said, “Okay, let me see if I’ve go this straight: First
you’re unaware, then you’re aware — and then you’re unaware again?”
Someone asked a mystic if he was enlightened.
“Certainly not,” he replied, “I’d be ashamed to say such a thing.”
Be clear regarding directions: The way of reason is the way of confusion.
After one guy discovered the benefits in not thinking about other people,
he thought, “Hell! — why not try it regarding me?”
For most of his life — with never any doubt — one man knew whether he
was at home, or out traveling.
Then times came when he was not so sure.
Regarding Seriousness And This Type Activity
If you think about it, it is — and if you don’t, it’s not.
…(How big does a hint have to get before someone stumbles
over it and hurts themselves — profitably?)
* * *
The man by the front door at the mystical lodge said to the people in the
limo that drove up, “Don’t even think about ‘thinkin’ right’ if you can’t
‘act right,’ and if you can’t already act right, don’t even think about
gettin’ outta that car.”
And one man moaned, “Trying to achieve enlightenment amidst all this chaos
and turmoil is indeed a challenge.” But where else would one even want to
“And that’s what I hate about this stuff,” added another chap. “It always
has the last word no matter what you say! Hmmp, it’s almost enough to make
a man quit saying anything!
“Oops, didn’t mean to say that. Waiter! — take that charge off my bill.
* * *
One man suspected he was getting even closer to the goal when he realized he
was having trouble — telling the time.
One man volunteered to join the army, but only on the condition that he
could be in the corps dedicated to cutting off midgets at their ankles.
A man asked a mystic, “How is everyday life like mediation?”
“Can you talk and meditate at the same time?” he replied.
There is no such animal as “enlightened information”
— only enlightened inquiries.
…(And for those of you who in fact have benefitted from
enlightened information, just go along with this, ’cause
you know what I mean, and you know why I said it.)
And a certain gentleman (upon hearing that last item) immediately rushed
out into his yard as he asked himself, “Why is it that you can’t talk and
meditate at the same time?”
And the bushes knew,
and the sparrows knew,
if your sky was clear,
you’d know too.
* * *
No child of man is a man’s true child
and this is the key that unlocks the mind.
The body gives birth to bodies
and the clouds just smile at the upstart dew.
When one man first began his mystical quest he heard many about him express
fear that they might fall into the hands of someone who’d hypnotize them and
drag them forcibly deep into the exotic activity.
But after some years of struggle on his own, he began to wish that he WOULD
meet someone who’d hypnotize and drag him forcibly deep into it all.
Another proffered definition of a more conscious person is a baby-sitter
who’s become indifferent to their responsibilities.
Though with no suicidal desires, one man would sometimes think that it might
be nice to know that you had an illness from which you’d soon be dead.
“Then perhaps,” he thought, “I could turn loose and start to live.”
The danger (if you wanna call it that) in being intellectually clever is the
same as the attraction in being intellectually clever.
…(And one guy says, “I don’t wanna call it that!”)
From Our Health Beat
One man used to have these little mini-strokes, just for fun — until he
discovered what real adult fun is all about.
Another way to look at all the attempts to awaken and escape is as attempts
to shed the name you were given upon being born in this reality.
There’s still this one rumor that says Istanbul actually once existed! —
back before people started talking about it.
…(That’s the great thing about rumors — you can make ’em up as fast as
you can listen to ’em.)