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1569 (96035) 03/22/96
Copyright J. M. Cox 1996
There was once a planet of robots, but of very unusual construction:
they could operate at their normal, mechanical level,
plus they had a switch that could be thrown that would make them believe
that they were not robotic,
plus they had a hidden one that could sometimes be triggered
which would allow them to be aware of their complete situation, dreams
There was once a race of creatures who could live in the daytime, or at
night. Living in the day seemed to require effort, while living at night
No one knew for sure whether this was true or not,
but when you lived in the daytime it sure seemed so.
There was once a planet of wild horses, but no one knew they were there.
Then a foreigner arrived who could observe them, and they disappeared.
A boy once asked his father,
“Is a machine still just a machine if it becomes aware of its
“What a damn fool question,” be replied.
“Without any doubt,” said the mayor to the people,
“the greatest aspect of not making any effort is the
complete lack of effort involved.”
…And their rousing cheers evidenced his inevitable reelection…again &
A boy once asked his father,
“Why doesn’t man’s study of his mind ever get him anywhere?”
According to one legend,
man’s present condition is not the consequence of a past run-in with some
god, but rather the result of him having swallowed the first one he met.
There was originally a bag labeled “All Possible Human Behavior,”
and another one tagged “All Possible Behavior Imagined.”
One bag was full — the other empty.
The mind of man is this galaxy’s only two-legged creature
who can walk with one leg.
The mother of all imprisonment is in having someone else trapped inside of
‘Tis said there was once a mystical school whose name was “Go Figure”
…that is, in its early days.
when it matured,
the name was changed to “Don’t Waste Your Time.”
A boy once asked his father,
“Might the difference between the ordinary and those-who-know-The-Secret
be that, while one of them sees life as it is,
the other one sees it turned inside out?”
“What a damn fool question,” he replied.
There are universal dimensions and local dimensions:
universal dimensions are where we live,
and local dimensions are where we believe we live.
To function, the mind must always affix a point.
There was once a band of seekers who had a song they would sing, entitled
“Oh, Consciousness Went A’Roaming And, After It, Followed Man.”
They sang this song only until they finally realized what it was saying —
after that, they were silent on the matter.
Mental Health Tip
The “surefire method” for staying sick
is to believe that it is events that make men sick.
…(What might be of collateral interest is in how
being a trained professional saves you from having to admit that you
“believe in” anything! —
when confronted with such an accusation, you merely point to your diploma.)
Even whilst the price of understanding remains beyond the grasp of most,
stupidity continues to be a penny a ton.
…Local conditions told one guy, “Hey, life knows what it’s doing!”
And life suddenly walked up and added, “Yeah!”
One man thought,
“This stuff continues to be so confusing that I can barely tolerate it.”
And just out of his hearing the future chuckled and thought,
“Yeah, but when you finally realize how simple it is
you’ll likely wish you were back to thinking how confusing it is.”
Would-be mystics still of simpleminded persuasion
always believe that Istanbul is some way off:
maybe pretty far…or maybe not,
but certainly of some distance.
…If you’re waiting for a punch line to this,
you’re one of the ones still waiting for a train to take you to that
Thought the ordinary believe that things should be different, here are the
facts: first is the obvious fact that no one sees, (which is that) everyone
is just as they must be; and secondly, the fact that a few can be
Another of the unknown, unauthorized “Histories Of Things Mystical”:
Here’s how it goes with many who become interested in this sort of thing.
First they decide they want to be a mystic;
then after realizing that they don’t know how to do it,
they begin trying to teach others how to do it;
then if they stay at it long enough, and don’t go crazy themselves,
some of them finally realize how to actually do it.
…(Based on such as this,
it should be understandable why mysticism has such a scant popular history
compared to other human activities.)
One man thought, “Some things are funny — and some things are not!”
…The man, obviously not a mystic.
Whenever he was complemented, this one man would think,
“Yeah, I’m hot shit all right!…as long as you don’t know me well!”
And one day his mind said,
“But isn’t that true for everyone?”
And the man replied,
“Maybe — but wouldn’t you be the one to point it out.”
Recent Developments In Metaphor, Parable, & Allegory
One guy’s latest theory is that,
“Men made up fables to try and keep animals from waking up.”
…(Hummm…you know, if there’s any truth to that,
just consider its implications vis-a-vis man’s mythology regarding himself.)
Once upon a time,
’tis alleged there was a mystical school whose
piece de resistance,
and grand finale was the blowing up of itself.
…(This is not to be confused with a certain type of activity
within the mind of an individual mystic.
No sir — whatever you do, do not get the two confused.
…Why…there’s no telling what might happen to you.
A Final Word Regarding The Common Interpretations Of
The Two Worlds Of Events And States
To pass a lifetime of acceptable sanity and relative stability,
all you need know is how to passionately exclaim, “He pushed me!”
Only ordinary men believe that they “behave”…or that it is of any
significance…those who know what’s going on, know better.
…(And some children began a chant,
“Billy Bower bought some better ‘know better’
to make his knowing better,
but Billy Bower…ah…ah….”
— and right there, they were forced to abandon the effort.
Theological Justice In A Nutshell
Peanut brained people have goober sized gods.
– – –
A man who can fully conceive of his future,
has no future worth noting.
– – –
When one guy first heard of the song entitled “It Had To Be You,” he
thought, “Oh no! — not me!”
And this, my friends, is how some spell success.
* * *
As he lay dying, someone asked a mystic,
“What has been the advantage to living the mystical life?”
And the mystic chuckled, “It’s funny, I never thought about it.”
The lecturer gave the speech he always gave, which consisted of this
comment, “A dumb man is a happy man.”
But this time someone is the audience spoke back,
“Don’t you mean to say that a dumb man is a happy man as long as
he doesn’t realize that he’s dumb?”
And the lecturer replied,
“No, because if he is sufficiently dumb
to be happy under his normal circumstances
he is far too dumb to ever realize that he is.”
…And the guy in the audience wanted to say “Huh-h-h?…”
but thought better of it.
(who finally feared that he’d fooled around so long that
he’s missed the last train)
found a guy on the platform talking about it,
grabbed him and said,
“That’s right — keep it up — don’t stop!”
Caution: A man’s mind is not The Louvre,
The Ritz Carlton, or a train station,
and woe should you believe otherwise.
There was once a group of explorers who concluded that
“time” is just another tool to encourage men to stare
…this based in part on the fact that
at the universal level it has no significance.
The simpleminded of the world
are the same as those who believe they have psychological problems to be
solved, in that neither of the two can ever get anywhere,
nor is it intended that they should.
…(And out-of-towners desiring proof of this
should consider the fact that both groups will categorically deny the
assertion…which denial leads to no additional understanding.
…[And of course, for you out-of-towners from so far out as other galaxies,
it’s not necessary for me to point out that
none but the simpleminded and self-proclaimed “psychologically hurt”
bother to deny anything.])
There was once a world on which was a predominant race of creatures who
went about their business with no undue fuss;
there was also in their midst an unseen few who
engaged in unrecognized, contrary activity.
On many of this universe’s inhabited planets, the beings have established
two primary, separate areas of residency;
within the framework however are an invisible few who have bridged the gap.
The myth that predates all myths says that
consciousness was the first god,
through which man discovered all others, but then forgot about it.
…(The kind of myth to give a mystic the cold shivers of instant
There used to be a nation here (now long gone and forgotten)
which taught all its people that the two sure ways to tell that a person
was stupid was by the fact that, if you so accused them,
they would either deny it, or smile and say, “It’s possible.”
…(There was also a secret teaching for a few which said that there was
a class of men who were not stupid, and that they could be identified by
the fact that they could not be identified by either of the two known
…[And perhaps not surprising is the fact I’m about to point out, that
if you listened to this, and thought, “But I don’t get it,”
no particular method is needed to identify who you are.])
After many years of waiting, hoping, and praying for his own personal guru
— suddenly! — one night, in the early morning hours,
one appeared by his bedside
…well, at least that’s what he first thought.
…Turned out to just be that last piece of pizza.
And one fellow wondered if Istanbul would ultimately prove to come with
A viewer writes,
“If, as according to several stories you recently read,
the mystical is religion with all the meaningless verbosity removed,
and the same for philosophy and psychology,
then where does it end? —
are you insinuating that this applies to all human endeavors?”
Sir, I don’t get paid to insinuate, just to “read the news.”
After some years involved with the direct study of existence, one man
thought, “The more you have to say regarding the vastness and majesty of
life, the more it escapes you.”
…(He further thought that he was probably not the first to ever realize
this, but that each time a man does so,
it continues to be a fresh shock to him.)
The simple are want to wallow in their simpleness —
what else have they got?
At this year’s annual Mystic’s Trade Show in Vegas,
the final night’s climactic debate between The Pseudos and The Reals
was (as always) on the question of “Is ‘Knowing-What-You’re-Doing’
…(One attendee says, “Be glad you weren’t there!”)
Okay, tonight’s “surefire method to keep from realizing how dumb you are”:
Just stay busy pointing out how dumb everybody else is.
…(Like any really good trick, it’s simple once you know the secret.)
The head of the renowned Himalayan Speaker’s School told the class,
“It doesn’t matter what you talk about,
submissive sheep, hungry for companionship,
will turn out for anything!”
…And one boy said, “I don’t get it.”
And a lad next to him said, “I do.”
And the teacher told the boy who said he got it to get out — that he’d