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1568 (96034) 03/20/1996
Copyright J. M. Cox 1996
One day a guy made a most startling discovery,
and went to his local conditions and said,
“Say, look — I’m not quite sure just what it means, but
I’ve realized the weirdest thing…” and went on to describe it,
after which local conditions seemed most surprised and put off balance,
and swiftly encouraged the man not to repeat what he’d seen to anyone else.
…(You might note that this kind of tale hardly, never, ever
makes it into your standard storybook.)
As long as you think one exists — one does.
…(Now! that’s the kind of story that’s more like it!…wouldn’t you say?)
One way to tell that you “still don’t get it”
is by the fact that you still don’t get it.
…(Now, why can’t we have lots more stories like that one?…Huh-h-h-h?)
One day a man asked a mystic,
“Say, look here, is all this stuff s’posed to be ‘funny’ or somethin’?”
…(And, to himself, the mystic thought, “Boy, this’ll make a swell story.”)
One man saw a book entitled “Meditation: The Attempt To Stop Thought”
and thought, “Gee, that’s worth thinking about.”
And suddenly, to the complete surprise of everyone in the store,
the book leaped from the counter and bit the man severely on the leg.
…(As the medics were taking him away, a customer said to a clerk,
“Do they even have a rabies kind of antidote to word poisoning?”)
In the more enriched reality perceived by the awakened,
what IS is not “caused” by something else —
all that is is coming into continual creation as part of
the ever-expanding nature of life.
It is the mind’s game to try and find what conditions were responsible for
the occurrence of some specific event —
a task at which it always ultimately fails,
in the same way that the eye cannot conceive of how sight came to be.
Without that certain shift and stabilization of consciousness,
a man is forever left as a child on the playground,
always, as he trips, crying out as he frantically points about that,
“He pushed me!”
The awakened could even be thought of as a type of “super scientist,”
one who sees the forces that drive the life of man —
including and in particular his psychological one —
to be as disinterested, unprejudiced, and impersonal as those
routinely observed to control his physical one.
It is, all-in-all,
the dim, disjointed consciousness of man-the-collective
which perceives a world of cause-and-effect,
and which takes what happens to man in that world personally.
Those awake to what’s really going on are somewhere else.
Simple people believe that the only purpose of life is to live,
a view which is far too simple;
sophisticated people believe that there is a much more complex purpose to
life, and their view is too complex;
the real purpose to life is both simple and complex,
a mixture never realized save by those whose understanding transcends
According to one myth,
the first god was that of sight,
and the second that of remembering,
and that the mystics combined the two for their special technique of:
seeing while remembering that you are seeing.
Thus the original sacred sites of the secret few
were not places to go worship, but to go see —
and god did not grant favors, but rather sight,
and the ability to be aware of it.
When his uncle died, he inherited the carnival,
and was at first most pleased over acquiring the House Of Funny Mirrors —
until he looked in
and realized that he had one already.
…”Get your cotton candy over here!
Cotton candy, and
see the fat lady who swallowed an even fatter one
who’d previously swallowed one even fatter than her,
and who can guess your weight — even if you can’t!”
And one man thought,
“But is any of this getting me anywhere?”
And his thoughts said,
“Well, where do you want to go?”
“Well, not with you,” he replied.
And a mystically inclined robin one thought,
“Barring the fact that I cannot look over my shoulder —
ah, but that I but had a shoulder.”
Which again shows that to “get anywhere”
you must have some solid notion of what a where is.
A man went to a doctor and asked him,
“Do you have a pill I can take that will make me sick of listening to me
And the physician replied,
“Hell, if I had that do you think I’d be here wasting my time with
the likes of you?”
And with a flash of light and the roaring sound of a set of out-of-tune
tympani, the two momentarily merged —
just long enough to constitute one complete set of consciousness.
One day life said to a man,
“Look, if you’ll stop trying to achieve enlightenment (and that kinda
stuff), I’ll give you a real special reward.”
And the man just scoffed, “Hah!” he said, “I know The Joke Of The Day
when I hear it.” And, sure enough, life slipped off the mask,
and it was his cousin Elroy.
…But which still doesn’t explain how this particular story got started
in the first place.
The world is divided into two kinds of people:
those who believe they can eventually figure things out,
and the few who already know what’s going on.
…Of additional possible interest is the fact that
one of the two groups can’t convey what they know to the other group.
burnt all his books,
burnt all his thoughts,
burnt all his contacts with the world,
then called the old hermit out of his cabin and shot him with indifference,
as his faithful dog looked on and asked if suicide wasn’t illegal in that
Legend says that the very first man on Earth
to ever change his own state of consciousness
wrote down his experiences and methods for the benefit of others
who might have similar interests,
and then, in an explosion of increased compassion and understanding,
unwrote all he’d writ,
and, in a parallel concern for his own welfare,
decided to never think about it again.
…(And the alert dog asked if he could have the scraps.)
The Play Song Of The Mystical Children
“Oh, you can go in circles,
and you can go in circles,
the cat’s in the elm tree, and
you can still go in circles!
…(you pitiful creatures, you).”
(Yes, I most assuredly agree! —
youngsters today are far too snotty and aggressive.)
To ordinary men, some days are harder than others,
and some days, easier than others,
while to those in the struggle, it’s all the same:
every day is a bitch!
— a brand new, challenging bitch! —
and the challenge always being that same ole thing!
One man one day thought to himself,
“Mystical ideas don’t have to be ‘hidden’! —
hell, they can be left right out in the open
and they still won’t make any sense to most people.”
The speaker announced his topic as “The Ecology Of Consciousness,”
which consisted of these remarks:
“The enlightened realize that at man’s routine level of mental awareness he
drinks dirty water,
breathes polluted air,
and eats rat droppings,
and, yeah! it is enough to get by on, but, Jesus, folks,
are we not humans? —
thinking rational humans, in the twenty-first century,
with good clothes and nice hairdos? —
Jesus, folks, what the hell gives with us?”
A man asked a mystic,
“What has been the advantage to living the mystical life?”
And he chuckled, and the man said, “I always thought that you were a
No man is sick of anything until he quits doing it.
(The title of this story is too obvious to mention.)
…Oh…all right: The Nicer Version (with the more agreeable emphasis)
No man is sick of anything until he can quit doing it.
…(I hope now that you’re happy…but just remember this,
the simple always leave the hospital too soon!
…[Hint, hint, hint, hint-ola.])
One day this one man suddenly had this “great suspicion,”
and rushed to his local mystic and said to him,
“Tell me the truth, it doesn’t matter if what you say makes sense or not,
…(And all this happened around 4 pm.)
Consciousness is one, the mind is two;
the mind is one, thoughts are two;
thoughts are one, the brain is two;
the brain is one, man’s concept of what it does is two,
and what it does is be conscious,
so there you are… …again!
One day a mystic took his eldest son out to the backyard and said to him,
“What would you think if I told you that man originally came from another
world, and arrived here with a single suitcase that contained a full set of
plans for his existence?”
And the boy replied, “I always suspected that you were some kind of mystic
or something.” And the old man put his arm around the lad’s shoulders and
said, “Let’s go back in the house and start this all over again.”
There is another myth, related to one mentioned earlier, which says that
the gods conceived of sight so that men could look at the gods,
but also so that the gods could look at men.
The full benefits of consciousness are not experienced without
consciousness being conscious of itself.
Two eyes (I’s) are sufficient — but only when they see one another.
Only one thing can kill or permanently derail someone
who’s sufficiently on the mystical path — misplaced seriousness!
…Well, two things: misplaced seriousness, and prolonged illness!
…Okay, three things: misplaced seriousness, and prolonged illness
that’s come to be accepted as one’s normal
…(Yeah, yeah, sure there’s a fourth…and a
fifth, and so on, but once you finally realize
what it — and your brain — is actually all
about — it’s back to just “one thing.”)
A certain knight
(who’d been ridin’ the path for a couple of seasons)
one day said,
“One way I can tell that I’ve slipped back into my old state of awareness
is when I catch myself cutting my eyes up in my head,
and biting my lip like I’m gonna think on some matter and figure it out.
for those stuck behind a plow horse,
such stories offer nothing…and sometimes even less.
One day the king called the villagers together and declared to them,
“History (that is, everything) repeats itself.”
And one man whispered to his neighbors, “What’d he say?”
And the other man replied, “I’m sure afraid to ask.”
And the moral of this story is that
if you get together in a bunch with other people
and listen to one higher up,
what he says will never come to anything.
A Collection Of Short Stories
One day a priest went to visit a mystic.
One day a philosopher went to visit a mystic.
One day a physician went to visit a mystic.
One day a general went to visit a mystic.
One day a psychologist went to visit a mystic and the mystic said,
“Okay, this has gone far enough!”
Most Up-To-Date Health Tip
You can tell that you are sick by the same way you tell that you are stupid.
…And several billion patients raised their hands
objecting that they in fact cannot normally determine when they are stupid!
…”Wait,” said one man, “make that ‘when I’m sick’…sounds much better,
don’t you think?”
…I’m sorry, sir, I’m not paid to think — just to read the news.
Once the ordinary get their temporary fill of sex and food,
they’ll often begin to philosophically reflect
…which musings never get much past the point of them wondering why
they can’t handle more sex and food at a time.
…”See,” said a father to his son, “here’s the thing about intelligence:
once you get smart enough to understand what it’s actually about,
you no longer need it.”
And the lad dutifully nodded his comprehension
even whilst struggling with the eroticism rising in him
over a nearby doughnut
…which had little impact on the old man
due to his recent falling out with all forms of irony
and apparent conditions of sarcasm.
There was once a mighty king who wanted to be a mystic,
but two things stopped him:
he didn’t have a suitcase,
and his underwear was too tight.
One man announced,
“I used to have important kinds of thoughts…transcendental, even,
then I seemed to have ‘lost it’!…and thank god, I might add.”
This particular news item did not come to us over any of the normal wire
services…and in fact….
Why the mystical quest so commonly turns into physical outbursts and
one man, once his awareness increased so that he understood what life was
decided he’d blow up his mind! —
but later concluded that was insufficient,
and decided to try and blow up the world.
…(There’s no suppressing the power of the logical!)
…(And a junior mystic heard this and thought,
“Is this a kind of advanced mystical joke that I can’t quite yet get?”)
In the context of “knowledge”:
enlightenment is when whatever you can think
finally merges so much with what you know
that you just can’t hardly “think” about it any more.
When you can no longer distinguish the waves from the beach
(or better put: when you no longer want to distinguish between them),
then your brain can expand and you taste the awakening.
On the third Sunday of every month,
they’d let this one man leave “the home” for the day,
and he finally told them that he didn’t want to leave anymore,
and they said to him, “Hey, what are you — a mystic or somethin’?”
One man told his mind,
“This stuff’s really beginning to bug me.”
And it said, “What stuff?”
And he said, “Yeah, that’s just what I’m talking about!”
And it said, “What-t-t?”
If you stay with your thinking as is,
at least you’ll get good exercise
…(what with swimmin’ for sixty years in an ocean of glue).
There is yet another legend which says that
man was originally created with two heads —
but later, for efficiency, it was turned into just one —
with two heads inside of it.
…And Adam said, “I don’t get it.”
And Eve said, “Oh, yes you do!”
The way you can spot a more conscious man at a Reincarnation Convention
is by the fact that he doesn’t want to come back!