Jan Cox Talk 1515

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Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 95120 (1515)
Transcript = None
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The News

1515 95120 11/17/95 Copyright J. M. Cox 1995 /tw


‘Tis said there was once a man who knew the secret, and who
decided he might try and talk about it in some manner publicly, and
since it was obvious that he couldn’t do so directly —
sat down and considered the various things he could talk about openly,
and began to mull them as he said their names:
“Hummm…let’s see…
art, beauty, cause, chance, customs, desire, duty, education, family, fate,
good-&-evil…ummm, government, history, honor, justice, knowledge,
language, law…and…life-&-death, logic, love…and ahhh…memory-&-
imagination, and…nature, religion, philosophy, science, time, space, and
…virtue, the truth, wisdom, and wealth…ahh-h-h…yeah, I guess that
about covers it.” And, experiencing that pleasurable fatigue that comes
from a “job well done,” he lay down to take a nap and sleep on the matter…
and hoped it would be a long-g-g one.

– – –

Query: Does the chance for escape remain just as open
if you continue to talk about it all the time?
…(Doze on, young troopers, doze on.)

* * *


Thinking can lead you to white bread,
but without the addition of something slipperier,
you’ll never get a sandwich down.


To show you the power of some things:
For years one man struggled against a certain automatic aspect of himself,
but, as soon as he stopped struggling,
it resumed just as automatically and forcefully as before.

…(Kinda gives you something to look forward to if you quit — don’t it?
…[Perhaps yet another reason mystic players never keep score.])

* * *


One man, who’d spent many years involved with various methods intended to
expand consciousness, says he’s made such strenuous efforts that now he has
“lower back pain of the mind.”


One man threw out all his books, TV, stereo, and CDs:
he’s now attempting to super-weatherstrip his doors and windows
to keep any more of the world from getting in.

– – –

Local conditions once tried to clue one man in by telling him that
“if you don’t pick on life, he won’t pick on you,”
but the man said it was far too late for that now.

* * *


A boy looked up from his studies and asked his father:
“Why do they call it the ‘art’ of psychology, and not the science of?
(And the old man thought, “At last, an easy one,” then said:)
“Because no one knows what they’re doing.”
And the lad asked: “Is that true of all art?”
And the elder replied:
“Only if you attempt to practice it in public.”


How To Stop An Ordinary Person From Trying To Talk To You:
Ask them how they know what they’re going to say next.

…And a fellow over in the corner said:
“Yeah, I tried that on myself once,
and it, well…boy!…I mean just doing it made me…well…you know…uh.”


According to legend,
there was once a mystical school which called the aim by the name of
The Regeneration,
and employed a two-leveled teaching
wherein at the first level you attempted to think about
The Regeneration all the time,
while at the second level you never much thought about it at all.

…(And, of course, as you should know by now,
there was also a secret third level which was graduation.)


For years, one man struggled with his poor attention and memory
by writing notes to himself —
then got so good that he could overlook the notes.

…(We will not inquire this time as to who thinks they understand
this one aright, and who has doubt.)


When it comes right down to the matter of The Awakening,
everybody wants a “system” to accomplish it
more than they do to actually do it.

“Why is that, Professor Winegart?”
“That’s obvious, Bobby, it’s because everyone thinks…
…at least in the beginning.”
“Gee, thanks, Professor, for clearing that up.”
“Not a problem, Bobby, not a problem at all.”

Now, Pop Quiz Time:
Was the title of that item
“The Awakening,”
“Apparent Systems Devoted Thereto, And The Matter Of Thinking,”
or “Distraction”?…and if the latter, did it work?


As per one version:
Life told Adam that he could stay in the Garden and be a baby all his life,
or else leave and grow up.

A viewer writes:
“I like versions of things that don’t upset me.”

According to yet another version:
When Adam left the Garden he had to turn in his stapler for gem clips.

…And that viewer rewrites:
“I said I don’t like to be upset.”

Now for some Sports Results:

If “certainty” is the name-of-the-game,
then how are humans to ever score?

And at an event being held in another time zone,
one of the announcers covering it said to his colleague:
“Well, Rocky, I did predict an upset.”
…(The key words here being “in another time zone.”)

* * *


Whilst lounging restfully in the middle of a large library,
one man gazed about and mused: “You know, you can write a book about


When it comes to the matter of ordinary thinking,
the key word to keep in mind is “recycling.”


After many years of effort,
one man could sometimes go to sleep with fleas, and wake up with fleas,
while at other times he’d go to sleep with fleas, and wake up with roaches,
then at other times he’d try to go to sleep with fleas with the intention of
waking up with them…
and sometimes he would…
and sometimes he wouldn’t.

What would you guess might be the title of this piece:


One man thought he was suffering from excessive “water retention” —
but it turned out to just be him.


One day a man asked himself:
“If the mind is a tunnel,
and thoughts, a train running through it,
then who’s responsible for laying the tracks right there?”


One man used to privately refer to himself as
“you simple, stupid son of a bitch,”
but finally got so good that he’d respond,
“Who’re you talking to?”

…(We will not in this instance either inquire into who does
or does not believe they get it.)


Finally — clearly defined: intellectuals.
Those who believe that they’re directed by their intellect.
…(The key words here being “who believe that…”


The simple believe in faraway, fantastic miracles,
while the more alert find it miraculous that they’re simply able sometimes
to remember what it is they started out to do.


One man finally entitled his life:
“Everything You Need To Know About Transformation & Regeneration Is In You,
But It Takes Most Of Your Life To Dig If Out,
And Most People Don’t Last That Long.”


Errata And Corrections

I reported to you recently about a race of beings on one world
whose concept of god was
“a plain, sharp stick poked directly in your eye.”
Well, it turns out the info was incorrect —
that is not their conception of god, but rather of something else.

…Now, back to today’s news….

* * *


One man said to himself:
“What can you think about but thoughts?”
And — finding this unacceptable — he never said it to himself again —
but that didn’t stop it from still happening.

A man wrote the Oh Is That A Major Body Wound You Have There Doctor and
asked: “Is there actually any way to keep things from “happening”?
And the doctor fired off an abrupt reply.


One legend has it that there were actually two “first men,”
an Adam and a Shadow Adam,
and while all the descendants of the former remain in the dark,
a certain secret has been handed down in the latter’s line.


All ordinary human pursuits appear to have identifiable motivational factors
(such as with the desire for fame or for wealth, etc.),
but where is such in the few’s pursuit of the mystical transformation?

…Forget how difficult it is to get people interested in learning hog
calling who have no interest in having hogs,
turn the consideration on your own natural self and mind,
and realize just how little interest they have in
any efforts to radically change their condition.

…(Kinda gives you somethin’ spooky to look forward to, what?)


Would-be intellectuals fret over the collective making heroes of
whoever can jump the highest,
and those who jump the highest worry over who gets paid the most for doing
so, and those who are paid the most wish they could be perceived as

The movement of man never stops.


As he reflected on his attempted assaults on himself thus far, one man
thought: “If (as they claim) ‘the first cut is the deepest,’
then I’m either already bled to death, or
I’m lacking the ability to feel pain.”

– – –

Yes, I know they say that
“the longest journey begins with one step,”
but those who say that have never tried to get to Istanbul.
…(Either that, or they have more time available than normal people.)

* * *


One man got everything “all mixed up,”
but it worked out okay, since everyone else had everything “just right.”

– – –

“All sheep drops should be pleased to live in an ocean.”
“Ah! and so they are, Captain Gerkins, they just don’t realize it.”

– – –

A man and a crow were sitting on a log, and the man said to the bird:
“What d’ya figure’s the advantage to being in a fable, as opposed to real
And as the crow was suddenly — and miraculously —
able to understand language, it replied:
“You picked a helluva time to ask me.”

* * *


The ring announcer declared:
“Let all in favor say ‘yea,’ and all opposed, ‘nay.’

Now shake hands and go back to being one.”


News From The Kitchen

After all’s been thought, chewed, & swallowed —
talk’s the automatic dishwasher…(or is that food disposal?…)

* * *


Now for some Good News:

As long as you take life, as you find it, to be serious and important,
you’ve got nothing to worry about.

“Answer-Me-This” Addendum:
Just who would find the above to be “good news”?
Surely not you?…


After many years of sampling various mystical systems,
one man says he now has a “mental yeast infection.”


When this one man knew that he wasn’t going anywhere,
he’d sometimes make sounds “vud-en! vud-en!” like a revved-up motorcycle.
…His mind loved this!
…(Since what I’s talkin’ about was not going anywhere mentally.)

– – –

Whenever he’d think about it,
this one guy’d think: “What a shame.”
…(I assume you know that he was thinkin’ about his thinkin’!)

* * *


Okay, extreme form of a previous definition:
Intellectuals — people who want to stop the merry-go-round
with no idea what they’d do after that.


One guy told another guy: “You sure do annoy me.”
And the other guy said: “Yeah, but not half as much as I do myself.”
And the first guy said: “So, is that supposed to make me feel better?”
And the other guy said: “Yeah, but not half as much as it should me.”

– – –

One version of the legend says that when Socrates visited the Oracle at
Delphi, the first thing she did was poke him in the eye with a sharp stick.

* * *


Only the few
can fruitfully peruse
a book with no title or conclusion.

Read it — think it — then do it.


Stories are for children — sharp sticks, for alert adults.


One man carried a machine around with him,
and sometimes he’d get so tired of it that he’d stop thinking about it
— but still he drug the thing around with him.

Interrogatory Interruption:
Should this item make you feel discouraged?
— wary?
— encouraged?
— or something far beyond any of the above?


One man would periodically give himself a breast examination —
he says he knows he doesn’t have breasts,
but he hopes that by using this ploy
he’ll be able to keep himself from looking anywhere else!
…(especially “higher up.”)


The mental activity of those seeking the transformation
comes down to a most simple matter:
you’re either thinking about that,
or else you’re thinking about bullshit stuff.

…What could be simpler?

As the tidal wave again
was poised to strike land,
he stood there, to his knees,
anchored in the sand.


After achieving an extreme familiarity with himself,
one man, one day, stood back and took a good look at
what he hoped had become an estranged version of himself, and said:
“Thank god, it’s too late now to make up. …(I hope, I hope, I hope.)”

And a viewer writes:
“Every time you tell a story about someone,
and do not identify him any more specifically than just ‘one man,’
I get so disturbed that I have to rush to a mirror to see if it is me.”


One of the more salient chapters in the invisible history of mysticism
concerns the number of men who undertook the quest,
only to eventually “give up,”
only to then become “teachers of the mystical.”

Just like any good marketplace: a little something for everybody.

(And just like any good warrior will say: “I don’t want no ‘somethin’!”)


While alone
and in a seductive mood,
one man said to himself:
“How’d you like me to give you some head?”
And his mind replied:
“Jeeze, I thought you’d never ask!”


After considerable observation of his rhetorical output,
one man concluded that he suffered from a “verbal bladder-control problem.”


One man’s pet name for his thoughts was “yeah, yeah.”

And a viewer writes:
“I was going to write and say that I wish you wouldn’t “patronize” me
…but upon further reflection, I’m not sure that’s possible
(considerin’ my present position and all).”


A couple of thugs were plotting to do away with a certain mystic,
and one of them said: “What should we do? — kill him?”
And another of the nefarious countered: “Naw, just make him take a name.”
And all of ’em had a good, hearty, and really aggressive laugh at that one.

Awakening unexpectedly in the middle of the night (one night),
a chap suddenly sat up in bed and exclaimed:
“Mein Got! — I’m full of thugs!”

Shortly after the carnival had opened for the day,
one of the showmen cupped his hands and cried out:
“I want to invite any in attendance here today
who feel they have any interest whatsoever in my personal life and affairs
to feel free to step into my tent over here
and take a royal bite of my ass.”

Without any warning, one man suddenly awoke one night,
and leapt from the bed screaming:
“Mama mia! — my insides are a flaming midway!”

– – –

‘Tis alleged that on one world they think of the mystical as being
kind, caring, and all-around charitable.
…’Tis further alleged that this world is a sham, shadow version of their
real one.

* * *


Upon close examination of himself, one man concluded:
“Yes, I smell exactly like myself…in fact, too much so.”


The reason that the ordinary are forced to think about all the meaningless
things they do is so that the future will have a chance.


During the process of checking out several mystical schools
to see which one he might like to join,
a man asked the head of one (with which he’d found some favor):
“Are you sure you don’t have just a small cancer?”

A man wrote the Glaring Doctor and asked:
“Can’t the mystical itself fall into the trap of excessive
But the doctor found this far too self-evident to bother responding to.
…(Well…either that, or he just couldn’t come up with a response.)


One man said: “Thank God it’s Friday.” To which his brother countered:
“Nay, premature, merely preparatory; you really mean Saturday.”
And a second brother demurred:
“No, you did not go far enough,
it should be Sunday, a time of respite and repose.”
Then their father stepped in and said:
“You all missed it —
your attention should be on Monday, the beginning of it all over again.”


You don’t live on the “cutting edge” unless you think on the cutting edge.

And someone asks: “What would be ‘thinking-on-the-cutting-edge’?”
Any thinking done beyond your present range.

* * *


When one man learned what had happened to him,
he wrote and said: “I’m just sick about it!”

…Then there was this other guy who sent himself a get-well card…
…in care of life…
…life didn’t think it was funny.

* * *


One man got all his ideas from somewhere else —
one man is all men;

one man got all his ideas from somewhere else —
all ideas are from somewhere else;

one man got all his ideas from somewhere else —
you’re surrounded by “somewhere else.”


A father said to his son,
“Let me, in conclusion, say this to you:
There is a place within a man’s system where such as this cannot be said.”


If the active pursuit of a mystical system does not lead to its explosion,
then the system leads nowhere.

– – –

In one legend,
the greatest knight of them all was Sir Forgot A Lot,
while in most, of course, it was good King Always Remembering.
(You untangle it!)

* * *


Interplanetary Warning

Never trust a machine with one eye.

* * *


One man says:
“Probably the absolutely hardest thing in the world to do
is to describe what this kinda effort is all about.” And second man says:
“You mean to others?” And first man says: “Hell — to yourself!”


On one world, life subconsciously tells everyone the moment they’re born
that: “Okay, I expect you to be good and brain-dead by twenty — you hear?”


A viewer writes:
“I notice that sometimes you refer to what you’re involved in as
‘this kind of thing,’ and at other times as ‘this kind of effort.’
What is the distinction?”

Ultimately it is the supreme distinction.


Question: What’s more rare that finding a fifty-year-old mystic
with all his own teeth?
Answer: Finding a fifty-year-old mystic.