Jan Cox Talk 1500

The Majority Find No Humor in Themselves


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#1500 – 10/13/95:
Notes by TK

The norm is not funny. The majority is not humorous. Jokes about fat people abound but the obese have no jokes about the slim and svelte. The minority is the laughable, the majority deadly serious; the majority finds no humor in itself or about itself.

The News

1500 95105 10/13/95 Copyright J. M. Cox 1995 /tw


On that fateful day when Eden-based Adam finally realized that
there was nothing else to do there but eat, sleep, and screw, life told him:
“All right — enough of that stuff! —
now get on outta here and get to thinkin’!”


Regarding The Question Of Hipness & Style

The collective is always in fashion.
…They are in fact synonymous.

* * *


The Instinctive, The Mental, And The Matter Of Respiration

Aggression will take your breath away.

* * *

In a certain solar system were once sister planets,
and on the first were all metaphors produced,
while on the second were they subject to all manner of mangling and
mishandling before they were allowed to immigrate.

In an alternative time frame, a local creature once visited a
speeded-up version of himself (a version of what we call a mystic)
and said to him:
“If you have something useful you could tell me,
why don’t you go ahead and say it outright and simply,
and stop all this playing-around-with-words?”

…No doubt about it: Aggression will take your breath away.

According to one legend,
there was once a certain mystic school which,
should you attend for a while, then drop out,
would grant you (instead of enlightenment)
the ability to think endlessly in circles.

One man challenged his mind to a contest (of some sort) —
Guess who won….

…Okay, you can breathe now.


When men grew weary and dissatisfied with speaking of nature,
they began speaking of gods,
and when they grew tired and uncertain with speaking of gods,
they began speaking of philosophy,
and when speaking of philosophy became hollow and self-serving,
men began speaking of science,
and when the subject of science seemed to be reaching a terminal edge,
some men began to speak of psychology,
while others returned to talking about nature.

In realms of even-numbered realities,
many wondrous things are possible! —
Both wondrous,
and pseudowondrous.

* * *

One man traded in his standard-issue mind for a sponge —
an asymmetric sponge.

* * *


Among the early, post-Adam generations,
arose the belief that things were moving entirely too fast.
…(‘Course that was a long-g-g time ago…right?)


There was once a man who decided to always think of clouds —
no matter what else might be going through his mind,
he would still — somewhere in the background — always be thinking
of clouds.

There was once a man who decided to always think of action —
no matter what thinking might be going through his mind,
he would still, somehow, manage to remember the word “action.”

There was, finally, once, a man who came to realize what all such things
are about and how they must overlap to be of use.

* * *

The king gave orders that all metaphors, either too loose or too rigid,
were to be lined up and shot.

* * *

Words are, to a more alert mind, its athletic ability.

* * *


Two kids were playin’ around with their food, and one them said:
“Eat your ice cream real fast and it’ll make your head hurt.”
And the other,
reflecting on the increasing neural activity he was experiencing, thought:
“With a noggin like this, who needs additional pain?”


The simpler the organism, the quicker it moves
…until you reach a certain level
…then occurs a kind of new-order inversion.

– – –

Fish, sufficiently fleet, reptiles can become,
and lizards quick enough may one day lions be;
but man! — oh singular, mental man:

He starts out simple —
then as he grows, he slows and becomes more complex —
but then as he ages still more —
he returns to simplicity — and grinds to a halt.

– – –

“Weep not for me,”
sing a few to the world,
“though I’ve yet to reach speed,
I’ve forsook turning back.”

* What greater protection can a mystic express? *

* * *


One man would stare at the sky,
one man would stare at the wall,
one man would stare at his feet,
another would stare at his TV,
yet they all stared at their mind.

As he would lie in bed, in the arms of his ever-active train,
one man would marvel at it all!
…In between times of being abjectly disgusted with it.

* * *

The difference between the placid, flaccid mass of humanity and the alert few
is that one of the two can take it! …And lying down at that!

* * *


Make-believe warriors fight faux battles
and dream of dreams that’ll never be,

while the dual knight of both mind and movement
slays not his dragons, but sallies forth thereon.

What man with anything resembling a functioning intelligence
would lay siege to a city of glue?

* * *

On one world, at times they were ready to send off their more-enlightened
to other worlds less so,
they would prepare two launch sites, side-by-side,
whereat one space ship, with its nose pointed up,
would ignite and take off away from its home base,
while the other (with nose down) would fire up and
drive itself right into the ground.

Two things come from instinct: instinct — and the mind.
…(Guess which one of ’em doesn’t wanna think about it?)

And now: Some More About Twos

There are two types of men,
when it comes to metaphors concerning man:
Those who don’t understand them,
and those who don’t like them.

…then this:

On what will stand
a one-legged stork? …And:

Have you ever considered the fact that were man still nothing but instinct,
metaphors wouldn’t be necessary?


How To Go About Wasting The Train Travel You’ve Experienced Thus Far

Begin talking to other passengers and thinking about it
more than you actually do it.

…(And one man thought: “I like metaphysical efforts that are e-a-s-y.”

* * *


From the Factory Of Paradise came two Adams,
an Adam of action, and one of reflection,
and we’re all descended from both.

And now just time for: A Post-Modern Query

Everyone has their body — but who possesses their mind?


In one mystical school you could specialize in either
Becoming Enlightened,
or in Talking & Thinking About It.

…(Need I bother telling you that one was more popular than the other?)

Those who preach — preach to themselves. …And:
One man uncovered the fact that popularity is a “safety factor” life uses
with the collective.

* * *

Proverb Update

Those who life would drive mad it first makes concerned
over the question of “madness.”

Throughout mortal history,
many a man has nearly “gotten” this one! —
only to be ultimately “put off” by its discomforting familiarity.

* * *


Between the
the baker,
and the poker-game dealer,
it was concluded that:
“You gotta cut ’em thin to win — but:
you gotta eat ’em fat
to ever get your investment back.”

Yes — another episode in the “god-will-it-never-stop”
continuing story of:
“Consciousness, And How It Relates To Thinking
…At Least When You’re Not A’Thinkin’ About It.”


A fully-realized knight is subject to but one addiction.

…(The heading of this story was to have been: “Is No One Safe?” —
but why bother? — who amongst real warriors cares anyway?)


In The Continuing Matter Of: Men And Thinking

One guy got to thinkin’, and got to thinkin’ this:
“Men will pay to watch other men move, like in sports;
they’ll pay to watch other men engage in sex, as with pornography;
they’ll even pay to watch other men engage in thought, like in chess,
so let’s see…what won’t they pay to watch other men do?…Hummm…
…Eat?…Sleep?…Hummm….This is too weird to think about.”
And with that, he ended this chapter in the series.


The instinctive vocabulary requires no modifiers — only the mental one.

…Of what need is inflection to action?

When the silence of life
told Adam to leave,
only the mind could ask: “How fast?”

* * *


During one of his pride-filled visits home,
one knight declared to his mother:
“In my business, we give no mercy, and we ask for none.”
And she responded:
“Would you like some of that pudding you used to love so much?”


Some Welcome Traveler & Combined Safety News

Even a mystic can stay in one place too-o-o long!
…Particularly if the place is himself, and his own head.

* * *


All men are divided into two parts!…Except those who’re not….
…So what the hell happened to them?…


When one wolf realized he couldn’t take physical control of the pack,
he began to verbally berate them and thus gained
a personal following any-who.

* * *

In another Eden,
lived an alternative Adam
who life had trouble getting to think —
so it took the short course and starting telling him
what a no-good, sorry, son-of-a-bitch he was.

* * *

You can kick around thought, but not action! …Think about it.

* * *


One man didn’t much like looking out into the universe —
it reminded him of how much time he spent in the limited confines of his

…I say that he didn’t much like it,
based on how seldom he did it.


The larger the system the more does its survival depend on:
moderation, deliberation, and unhurried, measured action.

…Put alternatively: The collective is always mooshy —
only the individual can be abruptly decisive.


Above all established cities is the
sound of gunfire heard —
while in newly explored areas is the
sky filled with silence.

* * *


A certain knight was forever complaining about the unwieldy nature of his
horse ’til one of his companions asked if he was referring to his mount
metaphorically, and the knight was suddenly struck afresh, “Yes,” he
replied, “that also!”

When his hormones began to weary, one man said:
“Thank god.”
…(Definitely not a mystical kinda’ guy.)

The mind is want to call instinct by any name, save its own.


Minds enjoy reflecting on history
in that it relieves them from instant action.

…Why else do men read and watch sports events?


One man made a suicide pact with himself (to wit)
that every time he’d say something that
other people had unquestionably said before —
he’d give himself at least a small, potentially fatal blow.

…(You might care to know that his mind refused to participate in this
scheme at all.)


Any physical artisan will say that a laborer is no better than his tools,
yet where be the mental ones who likewise understand?


Have you ever thought about the fact that even if animals had watches
they still couldn’t tell time?
…And did you further ponder why?

* * *

The idea of mental time-&-space-travel is moot
in a land ruled solely be the twin regents of: Instinct, and The Mind.

It does no good to yell: “Let me out of here!”
while not knowing the confining nature of “me” to begin with.

– – –

So what could be more ridiculous than a rhino-with-a-wristwatch?
— other than a mind with a plan? —
a plan that can only be acted on at some future date?

* * *


The Secret is discovered not through talking and debate,
nor is it found through devotion or faith.
…So what the hell gives anyway?


At routine level: The greater the thought — the smaller the mind.

…Normal-running machinery tends to shrink the factory size.

* * *


Then there was this other wolf who found he couldn’t wrest
physical control of the total pack,
so he began howling in metaphor to some of them,
and soon developed his own small following, nonetheless.


In a land of quadrupeds,
a man who knows the secret of quintuple shoe construction
had best have a fall-back occupation.

* * *

The collective love the repudiation “physician heal thyself,”
not for the reason understood.

* * *

Were it not for “self-pity,”
few would have pity,
and most, no self.

* * *

And, not to be from the festivities excluded,
one ruddy-cheeked, silly-faced chap name Gustafo exclaimed:
“Well, slap me silly and call me Gustafo!…(Which about wraps it up again.)

* * *


One man’s mind declared: “I’m a’sendin’ — are you receivin’?”
And once he realized where it was coming from, the man mused:
“Are you kidding?”

Men continue to enjoy the adage “Never send a boy to do a man’s job,”
’cause they know there ain’t no man a’comin’.

…(Hey, if you think that’s funny,
wait’ll you get a good gander at the boy filling in!)


History remembers great men,
and men remember history.
…(See, saves them from wastin’ unnecessary time on things like
action and the like.)


Since instinct has no time, I’ll give you this:

If you’re mentally concerned o’r tomorrow,
tomorrow will do you no good.

…(Oh, I know you think it will —
but that’s just a trick of the mind.)


There are two types of people attracted to The Mystical Way:
those who want to be depressed by the idea, and those who don’t.

…(Need I spend time here noting to you that
one of the groups is larger than the other?)

One man now claims to have come from a world where they simply cannot stand
the idea of things coming in twos.


There’re two potential chivalrous formations:
a metaphorical knight on a real horse,
or a real one astride a metaphor.


Gazing upon the unwashed, unattractive partner with whom he was about to
have sex, a man mused, “Hormones will make you do almost anything!” — then
added, “but so will your mind.”


If The Mystical Quest is not an actual external search for a physical Grail,
but the whole thing is an internal adventure,
then why can’t it be more described in those terms? …Well,
there’s your answer.


The Collective, The Individual, And The Search For Personal Fulfillment

Sheep who comfortably within the flock live
are bothered not by questions regarding the connection between
weakness and happiness.

– – –

The truest of knights is he — riding out front alone —
on his visor, the slightest of smiles.

* * *


When it comes to Travel Advisories,
regarding those of an extraordinary nature — life issues none.

…(“Thanks for the help,” said one man, “No, I mean it!” he added.)


In their travels did two knights become lost
and fall into the hands of an evil magician
who pronounced his decision to execute them
but to grant them a final wish.
And the first one said:
“Since you are a creature of wondrous powers, before you kill me,
let us see, shown on the side of yon mountain,
a full replaying of my life,
all that I did, all that I thought,
all of my triumphs, and all of my tragedies.”
And when he signaled for the other knight’s final wish, he said:
“Kill me first!”