Slaying Two Dragons at a Time
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#1270 – 04/15:
Notes by TK
(*) All spiritual teaching is at least tacitly involved in attempting to calm the mind. To effect extraordinary results you must slay two dragons at a time (e.g., quit smoking AND lose weight). To slay only one is rehabilitation only. All criticism is the slaying of only one dragon. Inner silence and not-staring slay two dragons.
Every Monday one man would sharpen his pencil anew — only
by Friday to be fretting over what he’d do come Monday!
Funny but in the city the simple tend to have shallow,
superficial relationships while the more complex have those far
too deep and entangled. (If you have the spare time — go
If night is the question, then day is the answer; if cold is
the problem, then warmth, the solution; and if all this be so,
then why wouldn’t all see saws have only two ends!? See, (said
life)! Got cha again!
…..”I say, Farnsworth — who was that masked chap who just
flew through here, messing up my mind and new hair piece?”
“I believe, Your Grace, that it was, ‘you-know-who,’ dressed
up again as reality, trying to fool us for another time.”
“Well I say! Just how long does he think we’ll continue to
fall for that!?”
“I’m sure I couldn’t say, My Lord.”
…..In a related bit of fashion news: It turns out that the
reason Captain Irony has always cut such an impressive figure is
that he’s been carrying around a full case of myopia — rolled up
in a towel — stuffed in his briefs.
A human voice said: “Since man is a rational creature it is
the height of intellectual sophistication for one to say that if
a man does do wrong it must surely be, involuntarily.” And
someone nearby asked: “Did he say the height of intellectual
sophistication, or folly?” But it matters not to those who
understood in the first place.
It would be one thing to criticize eating, or breathing,
or resting, or sexing, but to complain about any activity much
beyond THESE reveals one to be the world class simpleton and
stay-at-home one is.
Five Card News
The one holding the Death Hand doesn’t have to bluff, or be
An ULTRA Brief Metaphysical History Of Man As soon as men discovered that the secret was in them, they
began pretending it was some where else.
…..From a secret cave, hidden deep within the Mysterious
Mountains came a cry from a man named Urlow: “Help! Please help
me! It turns out that I am Urlow!”
…..The Mayor told the temporary Director Of Parks: “Hey,
plant a couple of trees, then I don’t care ‘what,’ but call it
From The: Dictionary Of Small Arms Fire
The Mind: The safety on the pistol of consciousness.
…..You might care to note that “small arms,” are not the only
And now for a more “sophisticated” definition. Morality:
Hippo tranquilizers for ducks.
…..A lion said to a fox: “You know, if Aesop were alive
today, I’d have him for breakfast!” And the fox replied: “Too
late! I think he’s already done so to us.”
…..Moral: Out-of-the-jungle — overkill is minimum kill.
The difference many experience in the intensity between
uncivilized forms of fun, and the more accepted sorts is due to
them running off two different atomic clocks.
A father told his son: There is broccoli consciousness, and
a beef consciousness; a water consciousness, and a tea
consciousness.” And the lad asked: “You mean that each of these
objects and elements have their own consciousness!?” And the
elder replied: “No! I’m talking about your consciousness!”
The Revised, Short Social History Of Man
Local Conditions, (still called “God” by the homies), one
day stopped by the hood, and while hangin’ out on the corner, one
of the guys, (with a bagged bottle of Mad Dog), slapped him on
the back and said: “Yeah — what’s the point a’livin’ life if
you can’t laugh about it!?” And the Big Guy jerked away and
demanded: “Who the hell told you you could laugh about it!?”
By a stream, a knight so reflected: “If a man does have an
immortal soul then it should not be so easily touched by the
common, external world. No,” thought he, “If any damage come to
it, it must surely be by his own thinking about that other
For a few — all commentary is toxin.
Man’s normal perception of the electromagnetic spectrum is
limited so as to keep down the shock of the future.
…..The senses are doors — and door stops.
According to the legends of one far away land, the purpose
of other people is to give a warrior something specific to
endure, — without comment.
…..Reality — a parade
The mind — an immobile bystander.
…..All of life is transformation, man’s opinion — his
The ordinary see reality as metaphors for their own invented
reality. …Such is the origin of (among other things) religion
A reasonably good, verbal rationalization can be offered for
any activity in man’s civilized world — not so, The Quest. Yet
Some useful info for those pretty well sick of living: The
more you worry and complain, the faster you’ll get outta here.
…Now, truth-be-told — this is not so — but what the hell!
Those who worry and complain a lot won’t notice.
One guy says: “After much reading and studying on the
matter I’ve decided that the closest person to a saint that I’ve
ever met is me. …Which goes to show you the general condition
How To Calculate
In the city — “good intentions” count for how ever much you
want them to. In a real man’s life, they’re not even worth
And now over to our Sports Desk for this Meteorological
Definition: Opportunity: That, which to a warrior, means
The way some minds work is like a king who, finding his
throne uncomfortable, engages in self-deprecating humor regarding
the contour and condition of his own bottom.
Urban Neural Safety Tip: Asininity runs in gangs.
While the ordinary find favor with Wednesday, insofar as it
puts them that much closer to the pleasurable notion of,
“T.G.I.F.” — Thank God It’s Friday, one man says he thinks of,
“Being Over The Hump” as that time at which he can get his mind
to shut up for a while.
When one man quit calling his dog, his dog quit coming. …
He now plans to try it with himself.
Some metro info: On city streets, humor is ofttimes “on-
the-way” to hostility.
The tv ad began with a voice declaring: “No two people are
alike …” And the man sitting before his set responded: “I
An “At-Home” Useful Reminder: Even when it wasn’t on, one
man could hear his electric dryer running.
Dialogue In Sidewalk Mode
“Since the mind is tied to the body, why won’t changing the
condition of the body alter the state of the mind!?”
“It just won’t — that’s all.”
“Then why won’t altering the state of the mind change the
condition of the body?”
“It just won’t either.”
“Then what can you change that will affect something else?”
“Why the hell are you asking me all of this?!”
A Page From, “The City Hunter’s Handbook”
Game named is already half bagged.
….. Related Theological Footnote
Man’s notion of an omnipotent god was modeled after his own
intellect, in that the mind was the original entity that: asked
for all things — and unto itself — delivered “all things.”
Those who seriously criticize the arts are like men who
believe that by insulting farts, they’ll stink less.
…..One man put all of his best thoughts down in a book — but
no one read it; so then he just put ’em all in his mind, and
said: “Okay — n ow let’s see you try it!” …And as always:
Any viewer who doesn’t “get this” is perfectly free to contact
the “I Don’t Seem To Get It Society,” particularly the chapter
closest to where you’re now seated.
Guy explaining why he quit watching the tv news, talk shows
and interviews: “As unbelievable as I know it sounds, I started
having moments when I thought the people on there were actually
serious about what they were talking about!”
Conversation After Having Just Watched A Movie
“At the end of your life, they run the credits.”
“You mean the kind words said at your funeral!?”
“Kind words!? What kind words!? …”
Copyright 1994, all applicable international laws enforced;
no use, full or partial, may be made without licensor’s specific
Man’s Original Blues Song
When life’s not well — Woe —
Well, I don’t feel so good myself. Woe-u-oh.
A kid says: “It’s cute that way the ordinary pretend they
believe that they’re intelligent. …They are pretending aren’t
Metaphors without modifiers come closest to the mark.
In his own mind one day, one man said: “I’m actually too
good for this planet!” (And lucky for him the planet didn’t hear
him say that!)
When it came his turn at the annual April Fool’s
Confessional Feast, one knight stood and said: “I am a
‘reformed’ — nothing.”
Art & Design Through Definition
The Great Quiet Quest: Religion without the decorative
Bards write on scraps, hacks demand fine linen.
…..As his head grew larger, his eye glasses got smaller — so
how was he to tell!?!
In an attempt to sooth — if not, enlighten the lad, his
father said to him: Let me explain to you how man’s invented
world works: The lugs on the bottom of your running shoes that
make them grip the ground so well are also what catches on your
shorts when you’re putting them on.”
The “down side” to the mind is that: You can’t actually
control it; the down side to consciousness is that there is no
…..Another Public Service Announcement brought to you courtesy
of the: “Can-You-Possibly–Dig-It, Charitable Trust, Hope &
One guy told another guy: “You’re looking for answers in
all the wrong places.” And the other guy said: “But you don’t
know where I’ve been looking.” And the first guy said: “I still
stand by my statement.”
A Mental Health History Of Man
Back in about 8,030 (+ or -) B.C., within two weeks of man
discovering that he had a psychology, another man came by —
stopped, looked at him, and told him he had psychological
A little “cheer-up tip” for all the fussy, the fastidious,
the impatient, the nit-picking, and everyone else who dearly
wishes that things would simply, “Go right!” The day is coming
when no one will have any complaints.
Believing that what you do is more important than it is makes
it even less important than it actually is.
Certain Psychiatry: Dream interpretation.
Social Criticism: Waking dream analysis.
…..Another Public Health Announcement brought to you courtesy
of the: “What’s The Use(!?) Association.”
Suicide: A hobby to pursue, that requires only you — …even
if it takes a lifetime.
In the world of man — in the realm of the mind, to remove the
comment: “I have been hurt,” is to remove the hurt. The bedrock
upon which usual human emotions and relationships are built is
the inner, running commentary.
Report From The Wilds
Just like humans, animals whine when lying …or trying to
sell you something.
One View Of A Warrior’s Ultimate, Personal Entertainment What works on Monday, won’t on Friday.
The tricky part: The mind cannot be quieted by direct orders
to be so.
Only those with a doubtful self give any notice to the ideas
of “self-love,” and “self-worth.”
…..Zeus does not announce: “Well — here I am!” Nor must a
landfill acknowledge its stench.
Man: A man in man’s clothing
One guy’s motto: “When in Rome, kill a Roman.” (Adds he:)
“You gotta do what’s possible.”
Additional Important Definitions
The Truth: Whatever you say it is — …no, I don’t mean
“you” the impersonal pronoun — I mean you — personally!
One of the king’s cousins has begun offering a class in: “How
To Be Warm & Charming,” but complains that his potential for
success is limited in that the only space His Grace will allow
him is out by the firing squad wall.
As the crowded bus rolled along — hour after hour — one man
in the back began to sing:
“My auntie wears panties of flaxen,
My uncle sports shirts made of steel.
I come from a long line of human,
Pray none of us get ‘hind the wheel. “
Those by then not already weeping, gave him a rousing round of
No artist is a true artist till words are a controlled part of
Many people will offer to be kinder — more “helpful-to-you”
— as they get older. After all — it’s too late for them to
…..Okay — I’ve been warned again by the Universal, Cosmic
Broadcasting System, to remind you that life does NOT — in any
way, shape or fashion — want you to try and, “help yourself.”
As long as the weak enjoy their weakness, they remain weak —
…(same with the everyday and ordinary.)
…..”Call out the Wolf Patrol, and give them swords and armor!”
“But they don’t need it! They are who they are already!” And
thus may be the reason that no traces of Schools For Knights are
to be found, and scant records of warriors revealing how they
came to be such.
Many peoples tell tales of man having slipped from the initial
“Grace of God,” into his present confused state, but one man
offers his own personal version which has man proclaiming:
“Help! I’ve fallen, and I can’t quit commenting on it!”
A father told his brood: “Everyone needs a hero. Okay, now
think of one … Got it!? Okay, now forget it, and push on
with your own family studies.”
…..If you really need someone to look up to just use that
unused area higher up in your own brain.
Man’s usual notions regarding things metaphysical are like an
airplane that never comes in for a landing.
…..And in spite of no popular demand whatsoever, we revise an
earlier item: Of what benefit is a rewrite to a hack mind!?
A certain man paused to ponder: “Why would a plane that had
once escaped the jungle ever return!?” Then remembered the
finite sphericalness of the planet.
Affairs Zoological: The Setting, The City
Pigeons who quit flying headfirst into buildings believe
they’ve engaged in some form of “self-improvement.”
One man says he’s about come to this point, that he believes
there are two kinds of knowledge: Real Knowledge, and Wennie
knowledge, and that wennie knowledge is the kind available to
A “Maybe Hint”
One way to tell that a man knows what he’s doing is that he
doesn’t care what anyone else is doing.
One man began signing all of his correspondence as, “Me &
Staff,” hoping that someone would call his bluff.
…..Dogs have fleas, flowers have bees, and men have each
other! And of course, themselves …primarily.
…..A woman on a boat looked away and thought: “As long as I
have my mind, I’ll never be alone.”
No art is ugly ’til you dislike it — then you share in its
…..Instead of a conventional prayer, one man began each
morning by saying: “Oh lord, don’t let it be my day to be in the
A man sat and pondered the following: “Well …drugs can
lower your level of consciousness …and so can …anger,
…let’s see …so can illness …and …so can disappointment
and self pity …but — hey! So can just ‘thinking’!?! Jeeze!
I’m not so sure I’m glad I started this!”
A visitor to Earth, when back home, told a friend: “You won’t
believe how hard up people down there are for something to do —
they write and read biographies of other people!”
One man says he’s now begun to look upon civilization as the
index to the next Volume of Man.
An ad placed in the “Psychological Personals” column of the
local paper finds one man describing himself as a “fixer-upper
Thought: The noise life makes as it travels through man.
One man says he’s beginning to believe that by commenting on
the pain in other people’s lives he’s helping contribute to it.
Where the ordinary see shadows — the more conscious perceive
objects; where the ordinary see metaphors — the more conscious
Metaphors live in the woods — reality IS the woods.
Safety Check: If you can’t argue about it, it ain’t ordinary
One man thought: “Is the mind but a catalyst to
More, Neural cum-Rhetorical by-way-of Definition, News
Cliches: The heartbeat of civilization.
…..As a time saving measure on this one planet, rather than
waiting to see specifically, what disruptive mischief they might
eventually get into, the city fathers simply had slain, any child
who showed any signs of originality.
…..The real mystical guts of certain well-known myths would
be: They can crucify locality, but life IS continual
The Legend Of The People Who Never Whined
There is no such legend.
Another Example Of How Street-Level-Eyes, (Even The Best Of
Them), Still Fail To See There is something “faster than the speed of light” — the
human mind! How else was it able to measure it!?
How It Goes
Those OF the Quest are GIVEN TO the Quest. And: “That’s The
Way It Goes” — known to some as, “Justice” — and by many,
hated, for the same reason.
Our forefathers said: “All that is from the gods is good.”
You should update it to say: “All that is, is filled with even
To fully enjoy the parade that is life you’ve got to see over
everyone else’s head.
Being more aware should make you more enthused about being
more aware! Or else you’re not actually more aware.
…..”That’s what I hate about proof,” responds one man! “It
proves so much!”
One man asked himself: “There are so many different
conditions of the mind, how can there be just one method of
attempting to control it!?”
There is the stillness of the wind,
There is the stillness of the waves,
…Then there is just plain — Stillness.
As the man left the hospital, after intensive, intricate
treatment, and saw his car there to pick him up, being now
totally rebuilt and refurbished, after the horrendous wreck that
had put him there, he thought: “No matter the many stupid,
astounding, and self-threatening acts man is capable of, he is
still no less than — ‘a miracle worker’!”
Animals cannot be heroic …only man …only creatures who can
speak …and sing.