Myths Also Become Impotent When Criticism Is Added to Allegory
Audio = Stream from the bar; download from the dots
02/18/1994
Summary = See below
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 94014-1246
Transcript = None
Key Words =
Summary
#1246 – 02/18:
Notes by TK
If there were a “great conspiracy” it could be Life making everyone believe everything is dumber than it already is. Myths were the original secret knowledge, but if it survives, it does so as public fact, becoming impotent, by adding any element of criticism to the original allegory. Men only attempt change when they feel things are getting worse (critical element). Moses and the Ten Commandments (criticism) as a struggle against evil = critical element.
The News
One man’s past used to call him on the Gene Phone and say:
“Hello-o-o, DNA here — to whom am I speaking?” And damn’f he
wasn’t always stuck for an answer!
***
Not only is a more alert man’s mind his own favorite
performer, but he is also its best audience.
***
The speaker said: “Most people just live from the waist
down.” And someone asked: “Does that include even those who try
not to?” “Yes,” he replied, “Yes, it does.”
***
A Parallel Historical Tracking Of Education And Human Hormones
“All schools were once, ‘one-room’ — back when all students
were ‘one-eyed.'”
“And when was that, Teach?”
“Just look down in your pants Bobby, and — you’ll know.”
“Oh-h! You metaphorically mean to ‘look-back-in-my-past’!?”
…..True communication between Instructor & Student is a
beautiful thing indeed, matched only perhaps in comeliness by
that of — ah, forget comparisons! It’s just a beautiful thing.
***
Man has a brain divided in two parts so that anything he
can think, he can also think the opposite.
***
Most talkers’ main hobby is stupidity. …Oh, okay, I guess
I could be nicer: is discussing stuff.
***
One man’s advice to his brother-in-law’s oldest boy: “Never
bump a nervous man with a gun, or a stupid one with your fate in
his pocket.” It is believed that this counsel, in later years,
saved the lad from a number of meaningless memberships in many
well known organizations.
….. Philosophical Conversation Circa Seventeen Hundred,
And Up To Now
“I join — therefore I am.”
“Contraire, Pierre, you join, therefore you cease to be.”
“Oh, I see.”
…..And a chap in bright breeches, (hanging about under a
tree), haled us down to declare: “I do so regret, ya’ll, that I
have no more to contribute in the ongoing development of my own
consciousness, but my off-wenting, past, ole self.” (And the
hooded one standing by assured him that this was quite
sufficient.)
***
For his own health one guy would force himself to appreciate
any nonphysical thing that he found himself wanting to
criticize.
***
As Regards Routine Areas Of Routine Mysticism
After “the experience that is beyond all description” what
can the mind of the non-relentless mystic later do but begin to
deal in specific terms and descriptions!?
…..Transcendental experience tied to rites & symbols has
become more “dental” than “trans.”
…..Now switching from Sports to the Farm Report: If you
blink, you miss it, but if you don’t initially blink, you run the
risk of going nuts. “Heads up, Alphonse! Watch out for those
goofy, flying pigs!”
…..And a viewer writes: “What is the difference between
consistent & relentless?” Well sir, even a sissy can be
consistent.”
***
Our “Mr. Meaning Award” for the week goes to the guy who
said: “If you make somebody think you’re so stupid that they
actually get mad at you — it’s better that popin’ ’em in the
mouth.”
…..And now over to our International News Desk for this late
breaking story: The (that’s correct, THE) grand, ultimate,
supreme and final, worldwide conspiracy is in life making most
people believe that things are far-r dumber and stupider than
they really are.
“Say Biff, you think we’d better check ourselves in this
regard?”
“I don’t know Wally, that might not be so wise.”
“You’re probably right Biff, let’s just go on to the South
American Stock Market Report. Venezuelan Water & Light closed
today at 84 1/4 …”
***
Men have two eyes so’s they won’t notice they don’t have
one.
***
How To Handle The Problem Of Life Wanting Everyone
To Take Some Sort Of City Job
If I don’t call them, and
They don’t call me, then
Me and myself can
Stay on a spree. …Oh — Whee!
…..A chap standing in line at the doughnut truck turns and
asks: “Does this by any chance also have to do with the mind’s
relationship to the ideas normally available to people on an
everyday basis!?”
***
Sociology From Our “Classroom Of The Surprising”: All crime
is hormonal directed, (that is, survival threatening), and is
thus — not funny, and thus it is that taking it to be more – and
less than it is — is.
…..On this one planet were two distinct groups of creatures;
the first could laugh at death, while the other could do so only
at illness. Why do you think a planet would go to all the
trouble to divide up its beings into all of these little
dichotomous bunches any way!?
***
More Show Biz News
When a more alert man wants to see a performance he doesn’t
care what kind of preparation was required to put it on.
…..”Daddy …” “Son, are you about to ask me if this is also
how a more conscious man would approach his efforts to be even
more conscious?” “Yeah Dad, something like that.”
***
Not only are ordinary mind’s opinions on popular topics
spurious, but their selection of topics is a waste of time.
…..A more active mind’s only comment regarding man’s routine
affairs would be: “No comment.”
Viewer: “Didn’t you already do that one once before?”
Me: “Yes, but you weren’t listening.”
Viewer: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Yes, that’s why I get to write all of this.”
Viewer: “Oh …I see.”
***
One Friday morning, one man’s brain began to sing:
“Oh —
Being pedantic,
Has made me frantic,
But not enough so — to, Make me shut up.”
…Later, while cutting himself — he accidentally shaved.
***
Men have two ears so’s one can say: “Hello,” while the
other mutters: “Screw you!”
***
The dumb like to think of themselves in the plural — hence
the invention of the word, “men,” and “humanity” when “me,” (or
silence), would have done just as well. …Well, at least for a
few.
***
Psychologists: Priests without collars. …Okay, try this
one: Psychologists: Priests with only layman’s power of
absolution. …Alright mister, “I still ain’t satisfied”: Adult
version of T.G.I.F.: Thank God It’s Friday — T.G.I.D.:
Thank God I’m Dying. There!
***
The early morning drill one father laid on his son:
“Remember, young trooper, as you head out there today: As bad as
engaging in criticism is reacting to criticism. Now — go get
’em, but don’t let ’em know it!”
***
How The Ordinary See Progress In Fashion
And The Few In Something Else
As cows become civilized, they feel proof thereof to be in
the development of Udder Covers.
….. The Chic Interplay Between The Body And The Mind,
Between Hormones And Neurons, As Interpreted Through Observations
Regarding The Sale Of Farm Properties
If the barn is ugly — point to the smokehouse.
***
Secret knowledge retains its potency only so long as you
don’t talk about it.
***
The Heretofore, Uncodified, Unrecorded True Basis Of all Religion
On One Planet
A weak man’s a happy man — if he knows he’s weak.
….. The Previously Unnoticed Foundation Of How
Conscious Creatures Stay As They Are A dumb man’s a satisfied man — if he’s not told otherwise.
…And a usually ignored viewer asks: “But if a man is
truly ‘dumb,’ would just telling him that he was actually make
any difference?” …Well …no, but still — how’d he know!?
…And the viewer suddenly begins to sweat and stagger, and says
that he feels a bit, “weak” … Moral: What goes around, comes
around …unless it never — comes around(!?!)
***
Men have two legs so’s they can rock from one to the other,
giving the illusion of forward motion.
***
Definitions From The Cutting Edge —
(Watch Your Fingers, Jim Bob)
Life: Wrapping up the loose ends for dying.
…..”Daddy, how come there ain’t no Austrian philosophers
named, Billy Lee Osmosis?” (“Chuckle, chuckle,” went the old man
as he replied): “My boy, your questions continue to follow an
upward projectory, becoming either increasingly transparent, or
porous.”
….. Now For Some “Cultural News:”
One reason the philistines dislike artists is that artists
seem not to be under the domination of some personal, “sense-of-
time.”
***
On this one planet they sat aside a yearly celebration of
National Dumb Day, but those qualified to participate therein
were too dumb to know it. Advanced Version: But all of those
qualified to participate therein were too ashamed to do so.
…(I don’t expect that any of you party-goers care to take any
further than that.)
***
Corollary To An Earlier Item Regarding Hormones
And Supernatural Beliefs
A weak wolf’s a happy wolf if a member of a pack, while
alpha males, in their head, have no religious dreams.
***
At the far end of the counter were two guys in the sittin’-
&-coffeein’ mode, and one of them said: “The great thing about
drugs is that they’ll keep your mind from talking to you.” And
the other one replied: “I’ve never found that to be the case.”
And the first one puzzled on this for a sip or two, then
responded: “Maybe I should say that certain drugs are neat in
that they help exaggerate certain things your mind wants to talk
to you about.” And the second guy nodded: “Oh! Yeah! Right.”
….. A Cost-Conscious Consumer’s Corollary
When you can “think-for,” and thus “serve” yourself beyond
the “Open 24 Hours A Day” limits of the city’s collective corner
cafes, when you depart therefrom you don’t have to leave a tip.
…..One man, as he increasingly became a new kind of “strange
adult,” would periodically peek into the diapers-of-his-mind,
hold his nose and demand: “Okay — which of you smart-ass neural
bowel movements left me this self-serving, doo-doo souvenir!?”
…”Daddy, is a souvenir anything like a tip?”
***
Next to his bathroom mirror, (where he’d placed a sign that
said: “My Hero”), one man installed a lie detector.
…..And a viewer writes: “Why do you always say, ‘bedroom
mirror’ instead of ‘bathroom mirror’!? Oh! You did say
‘bathroom’ — never mind.”
***
In an attempt to placate — if not actually reward — this
one guy, local conditions offered him this choice: He could
either be: manic-depressive, or else, just manic.
***
When most everyone’s dumb it becomes, well — hardly
noticeable.
***
The great neural experience, (sometimes known as The Great
Mystical Experience), is nothing less than the ADULT
confrontation with pointblank reality.
***
If you can’t “move on,” you’re going to die, everyone’s
going to die, so why not go on, and “move on”!?
…..Viewer: “Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.”
Me: “I didn’t ask you anything.”
Viewer: “That’s okay, I’ll lie to you anyway.”
Me: “Thanks.”
Viewer: “You bet cha.”
***
Men have two parents so that neither one will have to take
all the blame.
***
A Thinking Man’s Thumbnail Guide Of How To Measure —
How To Calculate
Reality — universal
Criticism — local.
***
More “History Of Lit,” In A Snit
Books came about because men had titles and nothing to put
them on. …And some thoughts said: “Yeah, we had a similar
problem ’til we discovered man.”
***
Socializing, Re-Sliced & Examined
The dense like to hang out together, the more alert, not
necessarily so — but who else they got!?
…..The National Friendly People’s Society registers their
strongest, possible complaint hereto. …”Here To! Come ‘ere
boy.”
***
Once a myth becomes public it becomes impotent.
***
Imagination And The Pursuit Of Intellectual Victory
The mind loves to lay siege to windmills and waterwheels
since it has no one else to attack.
***
Distinction By Way Of Residency Comparison
Consciousness — The Elysian Fields
Mere Thinking — Fidget City
***
Out of sheer desperation do men become adults.
***
How It Goes
Personality is habit, habit, memory, ergo: personality,
memory. And a guy says: “I sure do wish I could disremember
myself better!”
…..Extraordinary Mythical Efforts Reconsidered, Or: How
Things Could Go: Instead of a “way to do things” — one guy just
did things.
***
One day while tinkering about in the palace’s basement, one
workman was singing to himself as he worked — and manned:
“Oh, it’s a bummer
To be a plumber,
But at least it’s better than being king — AND,
Having to dress up like a fairy — AND,
Pretend to like stuff that you really — DON’T.”
And from upstairs, suddenly came the voice of His Grace
saying: “I heard that!”
***
Oral Legends Re-Oralfied
When men would begin to become “too philosophical” in this
one kingdom, life would have local conditions either bring on a
natural calamity, (such as an earthquake or tidal wave), or else
lift up its blouse and flash some tits. Either way, the job got
done.
***
Instead of run of the mill diseases one man had sun spots.
***
And finally: Men have two nipples for the same meaningless
reason that they could have one.
“But Daddy, I thought that all this time we weren’t actually
talking about man’s physical senses, but something more
…metaphorical.”
“Well son, I can sure understand your surprise and
disappointment, but that’s the kind of thing that can happen to
you when you hang around places like this.”
“Like what, Daddy?”
“Well, places where they’re prone to throw reality at the
wall, and symbolism in a blender.”