Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93126 s-1210
Transcript = None
Key Words =
To nonpartisan awareness — allegories are like salt to a
meal that you may or may not have already had.
One of our recent items noted that if you’re trying to sell
people some — or on some — “useless shit,” it helps a lot to
sound real sincere; well, further note that this applies to how
life makes the thoughts it puts in you, speak to you. Clever —
huh!? …(“A meal you may or may not have already had” – eh!?
…Humnn …are you hungry?)
For his twentieth birthday, since the boy still seemed
determined to pursue some extraordinary personal adventure, and
quest, his father gave him this advice: “If you find a man who
can talk without giving you his goddamned autobiography — stick
If you’re not trying to be more conscious — for yourself,
then you’re shilling — for someone else.
Okay — it goes somethin’ like this: From a standard view:
No talk — no progress. And from a nonstandard one: Talk — no
How Life Seems To Go When You Live In The Trenches
One man said: “My teeth hurt.” And life said: “You don’t
have any teeth.” And the man said: “They still hurt.”
How Things Go Indeed — Too Close To The Gum Line.
…..Once upon a time there was a man who thought: “Being
ordinary’s gonna kill me! Yeah, I know it hasn’t done it yet —
but I still know it’s going to.”
Make note that in the myths & science of all three
dimensional worlds, in the final drama — one of the prevailing
forces will go down in defeat; but further remember that it will
not actually be the final act.
….. Theatre Goer’s Good News
The tickets man holds are good forever.
Notes On The “Social Graces” — (And, “Otherwise”): A man
with a mind is never alone; a man with a mind is never as
conscious as he could be. Note: All such “Notes” as these are
presented as conditional entertainment for adults only, and
should not be thought about by: large-physiqued children, those
with supra-cervical tumors, or anyone with plans to run for
Can you stop where you’re go-em
Long enough for a poem? Then,
Open up your head and,
Therein take a peek:
Beggars never rest — bums never sleep.
After studying the methods people ordinarily use in the
attempt to bring their minds in line, one man thought: “I don’t
need no help to get out of step, much less, dear friends to stay
It’s About Time For It To Be Defined
Collective Intelligence: The dumbing of everybody.
The only consciousness worth talking about is, “maxed-out
Official recent research reveals that one of the outstanding
benefits of getting old is in the increased tolerance there is
for a man to talk about himself. If a man’s “speech generator”
— his mind — does not continue to expand, as he continues to
age, then he will ultimately have nothing else to talk about but
himself, for such will be as far as both his needs and interests
extend. For a more perceptive person — humility is no
particular virtue, while a certain “verbal reserve” is a down-
…..(Footnote, Postscript, Side Bar, & Addendum — All, “off to
the side”: For the few — “getting old” might not have to be the
flamboyant verboten that it is, if everybody-else-&-their-
brothers-in-law didn’t go it too.)
Life has asked me to pass along its one and only “Public
Service Announcement,” which is — “Live!”
And into our medical department comes this question
concerning jogging: “Dear Sports Doctor: Just because my mind
is always running, does that mean that I always have to trail
along?” And the doctor replied: “Well it certainly won’t hurt
you to try not to.” If indeed you do not make such effort,
you’ll never recognize the low-impact damage to your potential
for an increase in consciousness, effected by everyday monotonous
…..What passes for thought, normally passes so quickly that
men have no time to question its validity.
…..What passes for thought, normally passes so quickly that
men have not the opportunity to compare it with other
…Even though that last item may have offered real, useful
advice for a few, for the sake of our wider viewing audience I
feel it my duty to add a more general note in the same psycho-
medical area, regarding certain benefits of being part of the
overall, normal majority — (to wit): If you stick close enough
to your standard issue mind, then you’ll never run the risk of
seeing it for what it does — I mean, is.
…..During late October, a certain father, (who believed his
son capable of digesting such), served him up this verbal bill-
of-fare regarding how an excited, more alert man might approach
the matter of trying to bring his mind and its endless, automatic
thoughts under some type of new control; he spoke to the boy in
these terms: “Always deceive and defraud your friends! Clever
opponents will be too smart for it.”
…And another viewer sends us this message: “While channel
skipping, I discovered your program, and now do, periodically,
sit and watch it, and my spasmodic pleasure in doing so, I now
describe to myself thusly: that your talk and ideas are like a
vibrator for the mind. Sincerely, Yours-Here-On-A-Couch,” etc.
One guy had a plan — but it wasn’t worth a damm! So he
became an institution and peddled it to others.
After a good meal, a dog will lie in the sun — a frog,
nestle down in the mud — but where does your mind go after it’s
been stuffed? To the head of the class — to the friggin’ head
of the meaningless class!
…..Now just relax, and let your collective, fellow students
hoist you on their shoulders, and toss you in the air.
Byplay Between A Guy & Some Of His Fellow Guys
Guy says: “Why be any dumber than you have to be!?” To
which the fellow guys reply: “Why not!?”
Tip For Dictionary Divers
If you “can’t find a word for it” — there is no word for
it! And if you “can’t find a word for it” — and you know what
you’re doing — leave it alone.
….. Motto Of A More Conscious College’s Swim Team
“The human mind is a terrible pool to jump in — wearing
everyone else’s clothes.” …And you do realize that that’s
exactly what you’re doing when you think again, whatever it is
that the collective has already thought.
…..And then there was this other man who, for his family’s
anniversary, shot first himself, then killed everyone else that
proved to be his perfunctory, intellectual progeny.
*A caring parent, if there ever was one.*
“Seven Years” (A Short Story)
After only seven years this one man learned how to program
his VCR. Spurred on by this overwhelming success in one area, he
has made tentative plans to next take on his mind.
…..A viewer scribbles to say: “Seven years is not the same as
eight!” Ah so, true viewer, but neither is attempting something
the same as doing the damn thing.
Okay — another run at it: Definition: Collective
Intelligence: The recollection of things never known.
And now: Another feature from our: “You Can Bet Your Ass
On It” Corner: Those who attempt to engage in any form of non-
material, nonphysical charity, are themselves bankrupt, and
devoid of any resources.
….. Number 31, From Mr. Universe’s Quiver Of Maxims
You can only give away that which you do not have.
…..Suggestion: You might be cautious if life ever offers to
“Help you out,” inasmuch as it has but one exit on the 3-D level;
…(You know the one — out where friends leave flowers, and they
carve your name in stone.)
A Sizeable Chunk Of The Everyday Human Drama As Played Out In The
Brief Theatre Of One Man’s Mind
Standing a bit “stage right,” he ruminated: “If I were
someone else — would I dislike me as much as I do now!?”
The king, after looking over the activities of his kingdom
— from the strictly commercial to those of a public service
nature, mused: “Why is the Crown the last institution to have a
slogan?” Later that afternoon, the Royal Priest, who also served
as the ruler’s part-time personal advisor, responded: “It is
because men who require tacky, catchy, cliched tag-lines to help
establish their identity and purpose in life are the kind of men
who suck dicks, and Your Grace doesn’t suck dicks.” Even later
that evening, a young village lad heard of this entire episode,
and reflected unto his own selfeth thusly: “But if the priest is
correct in his assessment that the neural head of any empire does
not need the assistance of a personal motto, or other bourgeoisie
sign of recognition, then how do you explain the wide adoption of
nick names!?” Does anyone listening to all of this grasp the
connection of all of this? …It’s significance? And how the
young man both put his finger on something while simultaneously
striking it smartly with a self-made hammer!?
No matter his race, religion, or nationality, a real man’s
only loyalty is to his own head.
One day, one kid suddenly wondered: “What the hell are
adults staring at?”
The Mind: A watch wound up so tight that it can make
the pocket it’s in run.
In the normal course of aging, all buses begin to slow down
as they approach the final station; but that is no proof that
you’ve actually “been somewhere.”
One man’s mind one day said to him: “Hey, don’t try and
insult me!” And the man said: “Fuck you!” To which his mind
replied: “Hey, don’t try and make up!”
Local reality told one man: “Don’t try to suck-up to me!”
And the man replied: “I told you before to get screwed, and not
to pull that crap on me.” And reality said: “I know — and
after that I offered to buy you a drink, but you never showed
One day, one man knelt down reverently beside his all
digital, stereo rack-system, and softly intoned: “Dear Life: I
can’t even begin to tell you just how much I appreciate …” And
his woofers suddenly interrupted to say: “And don’t you even
To certain space junkies — nothing is quite so real as pain
— nor as useful.
….. You can live in a blister,
You can live in a cut,
But don’t ever live where
You can’t shut up.
…..The proper, conscious use of so-called “suffering” must
always be silent and unknown.
Help For The Hapless — Feck For The Feckless
If you don’t think about something long enough you may not
ever think about it again.
….. Medical Recount
Those who don’t know how to help often begin their
treatments by saying: “Now this is going to hurt at first.”
….. Aesop On The Table
A snake asked a man: “How do you expect to ever hold
something as slippery as the mind!?”
Institutions: Hacks hired by life to tell you that it wants
everybody to be square and middle class.
…..Charities: Institutions that believe you should pay for
the privilege. …(And may whine if you don’t.)
When it would come time to feed his mental hogs this one man
would throw himself out into the pen, and leave the slop in the
Being Civilized: The act of pretending that you’re
…..A viewer is driven to ponder: “Is, ‘being civilized’
thusly the same as being institutionalized!? …”
Some Marching Tips, Or: How To Go There More Efficiently
A man with two left feet doesn’t care when you step off, or
what the tempo is; neither does a man with two right feet — or
with two, both the same — or with neither one the same; do you
see what I’m getting at!?
“This Thing” — A Poem …(Of Sorts):
Once You’ve do-ed it,
There’s no mystery to it;
The only question then
Is: “When can I do it again!?”
“This Thing” — End of Poem …(Sort Of).
Some “Bad News” That Some Of You Can Probably Use
If you do finally realize that the only possible, valid
criticism of man is that “he is dumber than he has to be” — and
that upsets you — then you become temporarily even “dumber-than-
How, In The Middle-Of-The-Week, Of Some People’s Lives, The Mind
Feels That Things May Work
On days when it rains — noon never comes.
….. A Definition For The Weekend
Melancholy: A condiment life has provided along with human,
Hint To The Puddin’-Headed: You don’t have to take a
helping of everything just because it’s out on the serving line.
Response To My Hint: You don’t!?!? Are you positive!?
Reply To My Response: Well — SURE! You’re supposed to!
Okay, in fact — you HAVE to! But so what!? Are you going to
let that stop you from not doing it!? What kind of “pretender-
” are you, anyway!?
This communique from a viewer: “Regarding something you
said recently about how we shouldn’t be concerned over our
social standing or reputation, since: ‘On this bus —
everybody’s a two-bit whore!’ — well, I’ve figured out why this
is: It’s because we’re on a ‘two-bit-whore’ bus — that’s why!”
…..I do believe we have another person who has finally come
down decidedly on one side of the question that asks: “From
which is man driven — his heredity, or his environment?”
One guy flexed himself and said: “I don’t take no shit off
nobody!” And his mind said: “How about me?” And he said:
….. Tip To Authors
If you don’t have anything important to say, have really
nice typing paper.
Some Academic And Professional News
Today, people become psychologists instead of priests for
One: It seems more “up to date”;
Two: You don’t have to dress up funny; and
Three: It pays better.
…Although there may be others, you’d have to be crazy —
at least fanatical — to worry about them. The true sign of a
sane man is that: “When it’s enough, it’s enough — and ‘enough’
is always sufficient.” The only thing “sane” about an ordinary
man is his mind — and if you really believe that that
constitutes “sanity,” then you’re crazier than he is. Okay —
you see — here’s the deal: To a person, “To this stuff born,”
there is no such animal, animal noise, or book about animals that
is ever enough — for if it ever is — then it is no more than
the everyday mind again, and nothing to help a man learn to
“roar” for himself.
How One Can Be Neurally Limited — Yet, Hormonally Gifted
One man says that he is so dumb that if he wants to count
above ten he has to put his hands in his pockets! And then,
(claims he) — he can go on as high as thirteen or fourteen.
…..And Now: A Modern Maxim For The Marginally Conscious:
Life giveth, and life taketh away — but in your case, it’s
mostly a matter of, “taking away.”
…..Closing Theme: “Boo, hoo, hoo!” The Real Closing Theme:
“Boo, hoo, hoo, your mama!”
Truism From Another Time Warp — No, That’s “Time Wrap”:
Serious people are happy people — silly people always
A Summation Of All Regret, Remorse, Vexation & Self-Reproach
— And For Some, What Should Be Their Summary Execution:
A real person has but one regret — that they’re not more
…..Ordinary people perceive of the only potential resolutions
of their mistakes as being in the past — where they were
committed; and while this sounds to be the only logical
possibility, it is in fact quite illogical and im-possible —
yet note that life normally provides no workable alternative.
…..Mr Science’s “Field Goal Theorem # 28”: The past can be
effected — but only by those who are not stuck in the
A Child’s Garden Of Worse
(As In: “It Could Be Worse”):
“Daddy — if you play with words long enough, will they
finally come out to play with you?”
A viewer writes: “I kinda got tickled at one of your recent
items that was entitled: ‘How To Be Perfect’ — which said:
‘First: Make a list of all the things it’d take to make you
perfect, then — do ’em — I really did enjoy that one. But what
I want to know is — would that work? Sincerely Yours,” etc.
Well, sir — try it and see.
One man began directing sarcastic comments to his inanimate
possessions when they did not operate to suit him, such as when
the vacuum cleaner didn’t pick up every little piece of lint,
he’d say: “Hey, be sure and don’t strain yourself!” Or when his
car didn’t start on the first try in the morning, he’d tell it:
“Oh, that’s fine! Go ahead and ‘sleep’ a while longer!” Once he
discovered how well this worked, he began to use the same
approach on his family.
How You Can Scientifically Spot A More Conscious Man
He’s the one who ain’t on nobody’s case.
…..And a member of our audience inquires: “Based on what I
learned in school, and on my own thoughts in the matter, it seems
to me that a person is either conscious, or they’re not — so I
am at a loss to understand what you mean when you speak of people
being conscious, or more conscious. It doesn’t seem possible —
therefore, useful. Can you enlighten me in this regard. Yours,”
etc. A fair question, and although the two areas of
consciousness & learning are not the same, they are similar
enough for a pragmatic comparison and response, thusly: Ask
yourself: Why do ordinary people pursue continuing education?
*Ahhh …and I see his face momentarily brighten.*
A kid pondered: “If real men don’t have to say that they’re
men, and real women don’t have to prove their femininity, then
why do people have diplomas and talk about how smart they are?!?”
An Approximate History …(And Then Some)
Man spent his first five thousand years trying to explain
himself religiously; he now attempts to do so, psychologically.
Where is it all headed!? Where will it all successfully
conclude!? Well …would you consider a certain kind of future,
one sans explanations!? …You would!?!?
After many years of being human, one man thought to himself:
“What gives here!? I think more about people I dislike than
about those I do like!?”
The Big Difference Between At Least Knowing About This Kinda
Stuff, And Routine Existence
If — first thing in the morning — when you wake up —
there you are — then, There you are! …(and that’s about it.)
Why An Increase In Consciousness Is The Only Answer
The mind can no more grow thoughts than a man can fingers.
…..As you might have imagined — for some time now the Mind
Lobby has wanted to write and complain about certain of my
comments, but can not think of anything original to say. As you
may have noted: Irony has no lobby — it needs none — everybody
How The City Works, And How People Forget How It Works:
Just because a man doesn’t know what he’s doing is no absolute
proof that he can help you. Don’t let urban mirages mislead you
no matter how real they are.
…..Those of you keeping petunia scores might care to note that
in this instance I did not allow some “viewer” to write in and
ask if I didn’t mean to say: “…no matter how real they SEEM”!?
Okay — now back to your gardening.
Just as a bus would never get any where without the friction
of the highway beneath its wheels, so too is a man’s mind
immobile without the traction provided by his criticisms. The
above item is another chapter in “The Bullshit Chronicles” —
(conveniently condensed for common consumption).
Fellow spits — and muses: “If you can’t stop the train,
guess you might as well enjoy the ride.”
Ethical And Practical Lessons From A Brighter Lit Classroom:
There is nothing morally reprehensible about making a reputation
by attacking others — it’s just meaningless to a more conscious
…..What has dung gained by criticizing dung flies!? Other
than a reaffirmation of its dungness.
…..Merely the other side of the pig pen from “hero worship.”
….. Repetitive Update
If you ain’t one of a kind — you ain’t none of a kind.
… And this permits not the specious illusion of having even
peers — which no real thinker does! You are “one-unto-yourself”
— or, you’re not one at all.
As he headed off toward the manmade lights, one boy received
this parting advice from his father: “In the city — if they’re
going to entertain you — make ’em first look you dead in the eye
and say: ‘We’re going to entertain you.’ That way, you’re
always safe …even if not, entertained.”
After attending his first religious service, a man mused:
“I hear the theory but I don’t smell a cake baking.”
The human mind will let you do almost anything with it
except control it.
…..And a viewer asks: “Is that supposed to be a ‘hint’ of
…..Note: The human mind — running at routine speed and
intensity — wouldn’t recognize a good hint if it stepped on one
…..In fancy script — the family coat of arms of this one clan
carried these words: “Fuck A Hint! Shoot Us Dead Between The
Eyes!” …(Hmmm …where is such a family when you really need
Time again for the Definitions Tango: Trying To Be More
Conscious: Something to do with your mind until you become more
One guy said to another guy: “Tell me, what do you think of
me?” And the other guy replied: “Seeing how’s I don’t even talk
about myself, I sure don’t have any interest in discussing you.”
And the first guy said: “Say, is our conversation anything at
all like what goes on in your mind concerning your own routine
Based on the fantastic response we received regarding a
similar item, we are proud to now present a new feature: “How To
Be A Better Person”: First: Get everyone you know to tell you
the things they think you could do to be a better person —
and then — do them.
…..And a viewer gushes: “God — but things are simple when a
simple person tells you how to do them!” …Thank you ….I
It’s Fun Being Human And Mentally Normal When You Know Some Of
The Secret Tricks And Tips
It is easier to be irritated on an empty stomach, or after a
…..And life told one group of people: “Everyone can ‘dig it’
whose name begins either with ‘T’ or with ‘Sucker Punch.'”
…..All Aboard! — Hormones At Gate Two, Neurons On Track
Three! If you “can’t see” — hold your hands out in front of
you; if you don’t want to hold your hands out in front of you —
learn how to see.
A certain man noted to one of his friends: “Another
interesting, impossible aspect of this sort of activity is that
you can damn near effect others genetically who are not part of
your own family lineage.”
…..Then there was another chap who recently stated: “I don’t
care if I never see another modifier as long as I live!”
Trees: Modifiers for forests.
….. Some Neural Residential News
Lacking the use of modifiers, a man can never become
Expanded consciousness has no morality — expanded
consciousness is morality.
A father told his son: “Being nice to someone doesn’t have
to mean that you ‘like’ them.” And the boy asked: “Didn’t
mother tell sis the same thing?” And the old man replied:
“Well, yes — but it was in another context.” But I note to all
of you that to a more alert person of any kind there is no such
useful distinction as, “another context”; life is the sole
category and context, and within it exists all hormones, all
neurons, all bodies, all minds, all perceptions, and all
realities — with these subsections affording specious
differentia for the prosaic intellect.
How, Right Before Your Unseeing Eyes, Local Reality Can, In Times
Of Cold, Rub Its Hands Together And Stay Warm
A wet dog is a happy dog! If he has a master enamored of
…..And a viewer writes: “Believe it or not, but I almost get
that one — and yet I still must ask: ‘Why should this be?'”
Dear Viewer: If you’re getting that good — better yet ask
yourself: “Why not!?” And even if not instantly “There-you-
are,” then at least, “There you are on the way to, ‘There-you-
Human Conversation Between Two Humans
“Why hate your own mind?”
….. Second Version
“Why work on just your own mind?”
….. Senior Edition
Why is it, you think, that everyone has only their own mind?
…..Even before his latest, blasphemous work had actually been
published, one man had already put a price on his own head.
The Muse Of Tap, And Leap — Speaks To Man:
If you can dance faster — DANCE FASTER!!
….. More Insider’s “Myth Notes”
The gods of Speech and Rhetoric created alliterations so
that men, and certain words, wouldn’t feel so lonely.
….. Some Neural Juice News
If you think enough, you won’t have time to worry about not
being more conscious.
But, Wait Kate — A Hollywood Update:
The mind is a movie — “Stop film!”
The Early Morning Ritual In One Household
“Okay son, answer me this: What will make you sicker than
“That’s easy, Papa: Taking what other people say as though
they are serious.”
….. Historical Supplement
Several of man’s best known religions, political systems,
economic theories — even whole civilizations — came about
because of certain peoples’ inability to recognize a joke when
they heard one. …(Same with the formation of most men’s
And yet another description of: New consciousness,” or,
“Expanded consciousness,” (or some such differentiating name)
…okay: New Consciousness: Consciousness without the baggage.
Through its many & several institutions, life sent word to
one man: “Don’t you make me mad!” To which the man mentally
responded: “Well don’t bother to threaten me when you’ve already
done your worst.” And damn if life wasn’t momentarily taken
…..Note: Those who do not immediately understand such items
as this should not bother to write me for clarification. You
either get it or you don’t — which may be life’s revenge on you
personally. …And by the way, (as always) — don’t take any of
this “personally” – Huh!?
In summary, one man said: “There are few things I hate as
much as the things I hate.”
From Somewhere, Comes This: Public Cleansing & Confession
Anyone who attempts to describe consciousness is an idiot.
Thank you! Thank you so very, very much. I feel so, so much
…..Efforts to expand one’s perception of the world is not the
same thing as an increase in consciousness. I know that it
sounds like the same thing; I know that it sounds like the way to
get there; I know that it seems like the two are closely related,
but still — they aren’t the same thing. There! Now we all feel
…..(Oh yeah: P.S.: Those who like to say that, “The truth
hurts” have yet to even try on “reality”! Boy, will they feel
better then or what!? …[besides perhaps, worse!?])
Expressing what I feel certain is the heretofore unspoken
sentiments of many others, one man said: “If it were not for my
thoughts to distract me — my mind would drive me crazy.”
From a hardnose, point-blank view: No matter how you cut
it — talk is always still just the agitation, and not the
If you do not — non-selectively, and non-qualitatively —
all thoughts see — as flies, then — uncontrollably — your mind
will always be — fly paper.
Theological Update From Another Theosphere
To a more conscious man, what is Hell, but — mental
monotony!? …And to save you some time, dear viewer, I’ll ask
it for you: “What is the difference between, ‘mental monotony’
and simply, ‘having a mind’?” …(You’re not really waiting on
an answer, are you!?)