Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93089 -1158
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The News
93089-1
“It’s all in your posture,” said the dead man.
93089– 2
Independent thought is truly a wondrous, two-sided marvel
In that to the one who originated it — it may reveal much,
While to others — naught.
For example:
In response to all questions regarding:
“Why does man do this-or-that-thing which apparently seems
Utterly foolish, or rationally unprofitable?”
The independent thinker might say: “Because that’s how man is.”
Which, from his non-standard view, IS totally explanatory and comprehensive,
But which, from all ordinary views, is so obvious and direct as to be of no use whatsoever.
93089- 3
“It’s really all in your posture,” said the dead man.
93089- 4
Line From an Unrecorded, “Local Commentary”:
“Is there an art to, ‘limited vision’? —
Some originality to, ‘cramped thought’? —
I think not, my boy — I surely — think not.”
93089- 5
In a follow-up examination of the matter,
A certain “Unregistered Diagnostician” made this medical observation:
“Often, under normal urban conditions,
‘Guilt’ is used as a substitute for, ‘making effort’! —
A substitute for the ‘making-of-effort’ that would have made the appearance of ‘Guilt’ unnecessary in the first place.
‘Tis a tidy and efficient arrangement, indeed.”
Moreover — those of you without routine health insurance,
And in possession of NO intentions of EVER “paying” the city physician for his time,
Might care to jot down this little fact:
That in more “advanced cases” — guilt itself can be replaced by
The apparently more sophisticated concept of frustration.
93089- 6
Name a topic — any topic — and men will have an opinion regarding it;
Why! — because men invented all the topics — that’s why.
93089- 7
Warning To the Civilized: “Words– Ignore Their Power at Your Peril; Logic– Rest Thereon At Your Own Risk”:
In an attempt to make himself seem more impressive,
This one man changed his name from: “Nelson McKinsey,” to:
“I’m A Group of Graduate Students from The University of Michigan.”
93089– 8
Hormones make you hot,
Neurons cool you down;
Least,
That’s the way it’s s’posed to be,
If you live in town.
93089- 9
One kid finally asked his teacher:
“Well, can I just describe my idea of a hero to you?”
And the elder responded:
“It will just hurt you.”
93089-10
Back-strokin’ outside the main-stream! — now THERE’S a thinker’s fav’rite swimmin’ hole.
93089 -11
You can accuse a — dumb man,
You can accuse an — ugly man,
You can even accuse an — ordinary man! — but that’s as far as it goes!
93089 -12
Local Life Doesn’t CARE What You Think! — It’s Going On, regardless:
One man could “look at the stars” and tell your fate —
It was meaningless, incorrect, and didn’t work, but he could, “do it” anyway.
93089-13
Inner, “Neural-Life” Corollary:
There was one King who would never allow the Royal Priest to pray for him! ….lest it might WORK!
Note: If your mind doesn’t know more than you know now, you’ll never know anything more.
93089-14
Who but – “MAN”! Man! Man! Man! —
Wondrous, glorious, mysterious and unique — “MAN”! —
Who but man can —
Do things that are not pertinent to him, and of no profit to anyone else!? — BUT -Who can also do things irrelevant-to him that ARE of non-personal benefit!? —
Such as: stop and pick up a stunned bee and move it to a safe place.
Charity, compassion, humane concerns,
Are not — in the reality of their potential for an individual —
Religious, or moralistic “ideals” of any sort, —
But rather ARE, the normal behavior of a man who, “thinks more” than is routinely required.
The grandmother of another world told a younger one in her care: “You can’t ‘spot’ a ‘good man’ in the midst of everyday life, because all views from that level render him invisible.”
Thus, it is — as always: “Only a thinker knows for sure.” -Whatever be the question, or possibility under consideration -The answer is always the same: “Only a thinker — knows for sure.”
93089-15
One man began pumping so many fresh, neural drugs of his own into his brain That he could hardly tolerate any other kind.
93089-16
And one man reflected:
“What if there is, not only a, ‘Fountain of Youth’, but something even worse!? -A stage of, “non-expiration”!?
93089-17
One man began pumping so many fresh, neural drugs of his own into his brain
That he could hardly tolerate any other kind.
— But the herd reminded him: “We’re open 24 hours a day!”
93089-18
One man began pumping so many fresh, neural drugs of his own into his brain
That he could hardly tolerate any other kind. But he did.
93089-19
Time again for: “Addle an Adage!”:
None of us are, “long for this world”,
But the ordinary still often feel that it’s still — TOO-0-0 long.
93089-20
U -befuddled, Follow-Up Fact:
“Conventional wisdom” is not wise, or else it wouldn’t be — “conventional”!
93089-21
Things You Need to Know, (Via, Definition), To Gain Employment at A Soda Fountain:
Normal, Neural Juices: Simple syrup.
93089-22
As opposed to what voices within the city proclaim as needed and possible —
There are not only no “cures for not only our children, but our children’s children,”
There are no cures available OR required for just our children! — even ourSELVES!
The cures of which they dream — if administered — would prove, “cures-of-suicide”.
Prescription Note:
Read the above three times a day, (or til understood), Then throw it away and take it no more.
And A Further Memo Regarding The: “Regardlessness-Of-All-Of-That”:
From a man, deep within the heart & soul of the city,
Issued a mournful cry: “Regardless of what you say — I AM in great pain!”, But the city added: “NO I’m NOT!”
93089-23
Pertaining to —
(Shall we be so bold as to say — “certain matters”!) —
One man said:
“My hormones are like unto Saint Francis, while my neurons resemble Attila.
That is not actually so,
But if I told you more how it really is
It would not go over ANY better.”
93089-24
Another cozy thing about “thinking for yourself” is that
You don’t have to footnote any references,
annotate any quotes,
or in any other manner — “credit sources” — ’cause there AIN’T ANY!
93089-25
How The Neural Goes About Protecting Itself Regarding the Neural Environment:
At the beginning of the bogs was a sign that said: “Don’t Trust the Bogs!”
And below it, a small one which read: “The Above Sign Was NOT Provided by The Bogs.”
When it comes to looking after yourself, we could all learn a lesson or two from life.
This addendum was apparently presented by me, but could just as well have been so, by life.
Trying to separate life from what goes ON in life is what a whole lot of man’s talk is about. You might also note that it’s never gotten very far — but life said: “That’s okay.”
93089 -26
“Go Calculate” — (An Advanced Version Of: ‘Go Figure’)”:
Everything the serious would say would make this one man think of something funny.
93089-27
A “Twelve-Step, Self-Help, Recovery Program in One Step, One Sentence, Nineteen Words”:
When neurons have nothing to hide from hormones — a man no longer HAS any secrets to make him jumpy.
Once upon a time
There was a man who pondered:
“If something desirable — seems impossible -I wonder if it’d help to go about it back’ards!?”
Once upon another time was another man who had as his theme song: “Time Is on My Side.” But unbeknownst to him was the fact that time is mostly on ITS side.
93089-28
And now — a trip to our, Definitions Desk:
Collective Intelligence: The limo driver that gets EVERYBODY home after —
Yet-again — another intoxicating day at the old, city office
93089-29
And now this fresh item from our:
“Things May Be Improving in The, ‘Honesty Department'” department:
One man assures us that he has an autographed photograph of god —
But admits that he cannot, with absolute certainty, vouch for the validity of the signature.
93089-30
Combo, Psycho & Zoo-o Logical Update:
Being the, “Alpha Male” in a routine intellectual pack doesn’t really amount to a whole hellava lot.
93089-31
The ordinary are suspicious of anything they don’t know.
Another feature from our, “That’s How It’s Supposed to Be” files.
93089-32
Data passed to a child from a parent who wished to be more than merely a genetic one: “Having a ‘social Ife’ is not the same thing as having a life.”
It’s tricky giving neurons advice and hormones don’t need any.
….(Of course that doesn’t stop neurons from trying to give them some.)
93089-33
On one certain lateral-minded, future world, they have already banned the use of the term: “Of course.”
93089-34
A funny thing about the “civilized world” of man is that
You’ve got to “watch it” to know what’s going on IN it.
…(“I knew that of course.”)
93089-35
If irony came gold-plated, and was never unexpected,
It would be worth little
Since it would no longer exist.
What seems to be the worlds of:
Cynicism, stupidity and discovery
Are but the continual turning of new corners
With resultant feelings of loss, for the old.
Surprise is never a surprise except to those who don’t expect much.
93089-36
Some, “Coolin’ Nu’s A Thinker Might Use”:
Everyone’s hot at a — bus ‘stop!
Query: Why do they “air condition” libraries?
Okay: So people will imagine that they’re a bigger “deal” than they actually ARE.
93089-37
Maxim For Our Time:
A, “smart” man would — shut up!
“Okay — last one to leave — put all the books back on the shelves and turn out the lights.”
I thought you said he’d, “shut up”!?
Hey, Renfroe —
Maxims are just like universal joints– they’ve MADE to be broken.
Ohl I see
….Okay, I’ll close up and take care of it.
93089-38
To talk of health is to speak of illness.
93089-39
One parent’s guide to all her brood:
“Only be insulting when you can also be congenial.”
93089-40
Life offered one man a choice:
Either what would amount to a, “new brain” — OR — two hundred and fifty thousand dollars, And the man asked: “Is either one of them anything like a tumor?!”
93089 -41.
One of our viewers paused long enough to reflect on a certain recent story we presented: “Okay then —
If ‘extinction’, (from a certain view), can be seen as a proof of, ‘success’ — (Such as with the dinosaurs) —
Then perhaps it would behoove me to try more precisely and willfully
To ‘perfect’ my stupidity.”
And had we been there,
We could have further reminded him of that other recent “news fact” that says:
“It doesn’t matter what you do in the city — (including surely) — being ‘stupid’ -As long as — you don’t take it seriously!”
— (For that is the path he’s headed towards.)
93089-42
How Aspects of Life Actually Work Deep Within What the Ordinary Are Wont to Call, “Nature”:
All fires are “wild-fires,” including those started by man.
93089-43
A woman in line with several melons in a basket said: “Taking a vacation even just in someone else’s backyard Is better than taking one in your own.”
And as he rang up her purchase,
The cashier wondered what this had to do with thinking!?
Squeeze ’em,
Mash ’em,
Thump ’em with your thumb; Charge by the density, to see if they are done.
If they’re good -When they die —
Those once in Produce
Go on to Cosmetics.
The road neurons must travel to go beyond hormones is paved in hormones.
93089-44
A viewer says:
“I believe I’m about to get it! —
But did he say paved ‘with’ hormones, or Paved ‘in’ hormones?,
And what would such a distinction represent?”
93089-45
Recently,
Whilst they were in the woods, alone, together,
One man told his mind:
“Let us take the time to acknowledge, and congratulate ourselves on the splendid efforts and progress we have been making.”
And as soon as the word, “making” passed his lips He immediately said: “That’s enough.”
93089-46
Another Example of Why Things Won’t EVER Locally, “Work Right” To Suit a Real Thinker:
You can, “look up a WORD” — but not a, NON-word.
93089-47
Another Segment of:
“How Science Fiction May NOT Be All THAT Fictional — AFTER ALL!”:
Men ARE already engaged in extended, “space travel” —
Only problem is, their ships fly only straight into the ground! BUT, With a complete absence of any restraints, or restrictions!
“Oh — I get it!’, said Professor Askmeoff, “Just like his, ‘thinking’!”
* Ah yes!: A contributive addendum is a happy addendum! — (and, like that). *
93089-48
Local life told one guy: “You got a BAD-D-D attitude!”,
And the man replied: “You outta know — you gave it to me.”
93089-49
Up at the very top of a thinker’s, “List Of Things To Do”, right alongside of, “Think More Than You HAVE To”, is listed — NOTHING!
93089-50
Animals that meet another animal they’ve never seen before
Can become paralyzed with fear
If it is larger than they are
Simply on the basis of them realizing that if the new one is too big for them to eat
Then it is big enough to eat them.
And — yes! —
You can bet your cute ass that this also applies to Ordinary ideas confronted with original ones.
93089-51
After years of a continuing dialogue, one day the kid asked the ole man: “Just what is it that you’re telling me not to do?”
And his father replied:
“Nothing, lad, think about it — nothing.”
93089-52
A literary minded visitor to this planet told his friends when he returned home:
“If you think that their fiction is unbelievable — wait’ll I tell you about their facts!”
93089-53
More Unknown Lore Regarding “Civilization”:
Any dance can drive out evil spirits, but the real boogie can drive out civilization itself.
And the high priest muttered: “No wonder the mutha-fucker’s banned!”
93089-54
As his understanding of time increased, one man saw his old, inner schedule begin to crumble.
93089-55
A thinker’s life is the history of his life.
93089-56
One man demands to know:
“Was it the healthy — or the infirm who conjured up the idea of: ‘See no evil —hear no evil — speak no evil’, and so on!? I truly want to know!” insists he,
“Believe me — it’s important to me! and I W-A-N-T T-0 K-N-O-W!”
93089-57
During a recent conversation, here in your local area, one man observed the following: “There are aspects of taking city games seriously that are not generally noticed, for instance: Everyone sees that you can, ‘win or lose’ —
And if you win, you win — and if you lose, you lose, but there is more; It can also be that:
If you win, you lose, and,
If you lose, you win, and
If you win, you also partially lose, and
If you lose, you also kinda win.
It’s really a much more complex affair than most participants are ever aware of.”
9089-58
A, “converted man”
Who will tell you about his conversion
Has not been “won over” to anything worth saying any more about.
93089-59
A sign in the woods said: “The Original Won’t Put Up with Much.” And under that a tree had scribbled: “They don’t HAVE to!”
A viewer writes:
“I don’t like it when you use examples from life,
Or when you make up your own.”
And the news replied;
“Just as you have feared ‘– the news doesn’t give a beaver’s ass what you like, dear sir.”
For the hurried among you,
If it will better fit into your busy schedule,
You may consider that last bit as our, “Joke For The Day” segment of the news.
9 30 89 -60
In a raw display of power,
Local conditions took one man —
(Who was wont to get drunk and declare: “They may kill me, but they can’t EAT me!”) -And killed and ate him.
93089-61
Further Evidence of The Ever-Increasing Confluence of The Natural and The Technological:
In certain areas of the country
Snakes are beginning to appear which — instead of rattlers on their tails — have modems.
Forestry Update:
Neurons can’t actually “hurt” hormones,
But they can SAY they can! -And can BELIEVE they can,
— So what else is required!?
An, “And A Man Wondered” Update:
And a man wondered: “I wonder who puts them up to that?”
93089 – 62
How Getting Certain Academic Areas– Such As Anatomy & Geography — Confused, Can Get YOU Confused:
So sang a man, so confused:
“Oh the,
Knee bone connected to the — thigh bone,
And the,
Thigh bone connected to the — hip bone, And the,
Hip bone connected to the — Suez Canal.”
93089 63
Perhaps our kind of news program is having its little effect here and there inasmuch as one man says he has now adopted the operating principle of: “When I think — I just think! — no-o-o, ‘editorializing’!”
93089 – 64
Don’t waste your neural energies debating questions of honesty or integrity in city affairs for over there — everyone is out to “line their own pockets”! —
That’s why they were given pockets!
9 30 89 -65
Rather than standing passively by,
Awaiting the potential rebuffs and insults of others — this one man —
Whenever he wanted to embrace ideas that had originated with others, would announce to them: “Come join me, and ride the world’s most exciting, ‘intellectual hairball’!”
93089-66
You Can Always Spot ‘Em:
It is the denser of those in the audience who will nod their agreement and applaud.
You Can Always Spot ‘Em:
It is the more dense of those on stage who want ’em to.
93089-67
Noteth one maneth:
“The herd takes away our individuality,
Then expects us to thank it for its protection of the herd.”
Under its breatheth, the herd mutterethed: “Nothing ventured — everything gained.”
…You see, Elsie,
That’s why it’s the herd and you’re still just a sorehead straggler.
Over in the city a man said:
“Why don’t we just, ‘lump-it-all-together’!?” And his neighborhood said:
“That’s a bit of a, ‘too-late’ suggestion, don’t you think, old dear!?”
93089-68
How — At Almost ANY Juncture — Things COULD Take An, “Unexpected Turn”:
A tomato farmer, a lettuce grower, and a vinegar maker met on a corner, and the farmer said:
“Well, I guess we could make a salad — OR,
Wait for a bus to come along, and turn this into a religious joke.”
93089 -69
A Fable for The, “City Generation”:
Someone said to a thinker:
“Do you have ANY idea of what a totally, fascinating character you are?!” And to himself the thinker replied:
“Not only do I NOT — but also — I AM not.”
93089-70
Once upon a time,
Local life, somewhere, said to a newly-born man: “You can have your choice:
I’ll either make you capable of ‘being original’, or…”, and the man
Immediately stopped him, saying:,
“There’s no need to go on — there IS no alternative for me.”
93089-71
And finally (!?) — El,”Trick-0″ Of Tricks:
If you know how life works — you can’t tell how life works.
HAH! — fooled you!
That’s not all —
There’s still more news to report….
93089-72
After hearing once again, the latest reports and dispatches, a man rubbed his head and thought: “You know — if the ‘news’ was true — it’d make you sick.”
Might also care to note that this is a fair example of sbout how hormones feel about what neurons have to say.
93089-73
In a “silly sort of a way, (so said, as to give the queasy a wheezy way out), you could say that a thinker’s supreme form of intellectual perversion would be in the incestuous nature of entertaining ideas from the collective,
In that the end result is in him neurally sleeping with himself, and without even the routine pleasure of, “SELF satisfaction”.
A queasy viewer says: “I’m afraid I almost, ‘get’ that one! -And I’m for sure that — I don’t WANT to! Yours,
Wheezily”, etc.
94489-74
How Can You Say You Know What Life’s All About When It’s All About You NOW — And You’ve Never SAID Anything!?”
Right at sunset,
One man would stand alone on the beach, and look pensively out to sea,
Just so he’d look like a man standing on the beach, looking pensively out to sea.
93089-75
Headline: “Several Well-Known Proverbs & Truisms Shaken-Up in Local Mishap”:
A real thinker not only does not, “cast pearls before swine,” but in fact — will hardly toss them in front of anybody.
Afresh, nutty-scented part of the new-woods remarked, (germane, I fain, to the above): “Selfishness — in certain areas — is not merely ‘close to’ goodliness, But is in fact — as nigh as one need ever be.”
93089-76
One day,
One man
Suddenly thought: “Why curse your ancestors!? They live FAR too close!”
Yes:
Genetics do hold many things together: Herds, Flocks,
Packs, etc.
And a man pondered: “Humm-m-m I didn’t hear a, “thinker” mentioned in that list!?
93089 -77
The blood of
Dumb, partisan ideas runs
Hot and cold when cut –
And every other way as well.
93089-78
According to one man who frequently corresponds with us,
Here are some wise words to live by under present urban conditions: “If what you do is meaningless and unnecessary — ADVERTISE!”
93089-79
As Hormones & Neurons Continue Their Eternal, (If Not Unusually, “Lengthy”), Dance, Some Men Sing Private, Mentally Oriented Songs Combining Exoneration and Lamentation: (Goes one such):
Oh,
If it —
Weren’t for glands I’d have more,
Time on my hands.
A semi-official spokesman for local, mortal life noted: “One striking good fortune of being a man is that if it ain’t one thing, it’ll always be something else.”
93089-80
By way of a little personal trick & advice, one father offered his son this little morsel: “My boy, if you look deep into the eyes of the serious you can always tell that….”, And the kid interrupted: “Why the hell would you ever want to look deep in the eyes of the serious!?”
93089-81
And some additional scores from another league:
A “serious” man is a “dead man” who just hasn’t laid down yet.
93089-82
More Scenes from Around and About the City:
On hot, slow days
This one man would sometimes say: “What I sometimes miss is
Not having anything to hate.”
93089-83
The greater did he
Directly perceive
What local life was about —
The more did one man
Understand the propriety of the approach:
“Skip the preface! — spare me the fat! just gimmie the fun!”
93089-84
To a real thinker’s real ears — everything’s a “euphemism”.
93089-85
Re, “Genetics & Other Family Ties”;
When asked to whom he was most closely related, one man replied: “Directness.”
93089-86
A viewer writes to ask:
“Are hormones the same as, ‘guilt’?
Or is it, neurons?
…Oh, I’m getting all confused now —
I guess I shouldn’t’ave brought it up in the first place. ‘Out’, (’til later)”, etc.
93089-87
Give us a “D” — give us an “E” — give us an “F” — give us a “Definition”:
Civilization: The making of more-and more out of less and less, And less and less out of more and more,
And bunches of combinations thereof-aplenty.
93089-88
Inside of his own mental, wild frontier, one man put a bounty on all cliches.
93089-89
More News From The Runways Of Neural Couture:
A hermit can never be, “fashionable.”
A man a bit further out has a short song he sometimes sings:
Living in the herd — you get the blues,
Living alone — never, new shoes;
So–
What chu gonna do,
What chu gonna do
What chu gonna do — Baby Blue!?
93089-90
Turning on the whine machine full blast, one day,
This guy told the city: “Boy-y-y! — how come we never do anything I want to!?” And the city replied: “Hey! — you’re alive, aren’t you!?”
93089-91
One of our regular viewers writes to us again to say:
“I do believe that I am now getting an even better idea of what you’re up to;
I think what you’re trying to do is to make people more cold-blooded and warm-minded.”
Sir, after discussing it, all of us here in the news room agree that Your speculations are getting much more entertaining.
93089-92
One man reminded the younger in his care:
“A shill has no responsibility to thank the con for whom he toils -Thus has man no duty to express gratitude to life.”
98089-93
One man has begun silently referring to his brain’s natural drive toward a state of, “Impregnated Conclusiveness” as the process of:
“Artificial, information-insemination.”
93089-94
Soon after he’d discovered how to ignite a fresh, original area of his mind
This one man became his own, “significant other.”
93089-95
People who personally wish they weren’t “in” a certain thing
Have a tendency to proclaim: “We’re all in this together.”
(The herd makes ’em do it.)
93089-96
Satire: The “clever” attempt not to seem quite so plagiaristic.
A thinker’s-a-thinker’s-a-thinker,
Who can shorten the legs of his own ladder whilst standing on it.
93089-97
Instead of having comic strip, or fictional heroes
This one man patterned his life on a psychological case book.
His city patted him on the head and said: “Good-d-d boy! — now roll over for Daddy.”
93089-98
A man inquires:
“Is there a, ‘shelf-life’ to ideas? ….to reality itself?!”
93089-99
To himself,
One man has a new term for ordinary, serious discussions and debates; He calls them: “Garbage conversations.”
93089-100
Some Financial News:
“Original thinking” was the inspiration for, “No Load Funds.”
93089-101
In a non-literal sense —
Independent-minded cows hate the smell, look and color of the herd — ANY herd.
93089-102
A viewer writes to our: “Why Don’t You Write and Ask Me A Question, Doctor,” and asks:
“What is the connection, and correlation between having ‘many words,’ and ‘knowing a lot’?” “Hey-y-y!” shouts the doc, “‘Nother’f them — ‘TREEK’ questions!”
93089-103
“If not a divorce,” thought one man regarding his relationship to the collective, “Then what I want is an amiable intellectual separation.”
93089•104
Man’s unique, “knowledge-of-death”
Is just life’s way of saying — “SEE! — you can think!”
93089-105
How Things Can Work With REAL Neural Artists:
One did a self-portrait of himself that even HE couldn’t recognize!
93089-106
From one view — the secret to everything is in looking at it directly.
Note: In the above sentence, the emphasis is placed everywhere.