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Condensed News Items = See below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93087 -1156
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The News
The struggle to survive is, the joy of the crude; the
striving to think, should be, that of the otherwise.
***
They asked one man, who was a writer, if he had a favorite
writer and he replied: “Oh yes, but I’d rather not say who.”
***
Intellectual Combat News: Only two legged men can become
adversaries.
***
An Unauthorized, Unlisted “City Hobby”: You can feel
“delicate” — hormonally, or you can feel delicate– neurally,
or you can feel delicate in both areas in any combination
possible — or, you might try and engage in the sport of
“Ultimate Recognition” whereby one realizes that there is no
delicacy to death, or stupidity! And, that’s that — and
anything further said on the matter is a verbal attempt at self-
inflicted blindness. And an urbanite responds: “Well sure! —
had I been born greater deformed — I too might have been
happier!”
***
Warning!: Every time the dumb look in the mirror they get
even more serious!!
…..Warm Towel Break: Only a thinker’s real friend will tell
him “I-told-you-so” in advance.
…..”Hey!,” he said “you know it! — and I know it! — and now
that I’m saying it — we’ll both know it!: * There’s only one
thing that frightens a real thinker.” *
***
Let me ask you: What could be more “fashionable” than to be
a cow!? …if you’re in a herd!? The higher hilly areas of one
wrangler’s mental spread said: “Get ’em off me! — let me outta
here!”
***
As men get older they write about age; where is its equal
regarding stupidity.
***
Local conditions cocked an ear and smiled, as it gave heed
to the steady hum of human speech spreading steadily into its
every crevice: “Ahh-h-h — just listen,” it said, “hear them say
that most beautiful of words: ‘I, I, I’: without stop, do they
repeat its glorious name; and so long as this be so (my friends)
all is well at this end!”
***
And another dip into the bag atop our, Definitions Desk:
The Religious: Those who look in the mirror and hope to see
somebody else.
***
A viewer says: “I am sick and extremely tired of hearing
man referred to on your program as some sort of ethereal, unstable,
metaphorical — ‘concept’! I, sir, am in the business of
business, and deal only in that which is tangible, consistent and
meaningful — in goods and services, sir! — in goods and
services! So tell me, sir — to you, which is man? — ‘goods’ —
or ‘services’?”
***
And for a change of pace, a viewer sends us — her
description of civilization: “It’s all talk and paper,” says
she, “all talk and paper.”
***
The Law Of The Covert Conductor: Everyone unwittingly
reveals to you precisely how to lead their particular orchestra.
***
Be it racial, religious, or political — all singularly
human conflict is — rugby.
***
One man’s personal motto: “If you are forced to ‘call-on-
the-collective’ — at least — ‘hang-up’ as soon as they answer!”
…..And now for a news item combining the best of both “Moral
Dedication,” and “Good Physical Hygiene”: A man with a “motto”
is like a man with a tattoo — except they’re spelled
differently, and one is easier to be rid-of than the other.
***
Ordinary, partisan thinking is not only “self-perpetuating,”
but self amplifying as well. A certain man asked his mind:
“Well what’s so bad about partisan thought, anyway!?” And his
mind replied: “Why the hell don’t you — ‘shut up’ — you stupid
fucker!” And, By Yiminie, the man damn-near caught a glimpse of
something real.
***
One kid told his elementary teacher: “A real thinker knows
that there’s plenty-y-y of time to be serious when you’re dead!
— And also that there’s plenty of time to be dead when you’re
serious.” Moral: No one likes a “too-smart-kid” except a, too-
smart-kid.
***
In the Neural Ballroom — even the cripple dance.
Civilization: The place where there is no party — unless
everyone attends. Real Thinker’s Note: Don’t let this — happen
to you — inside of your own head.
…..Medical Follow-Up: All “two-legged men” are cripples.
Don’t let this — happen to you — inside your own mind.
***
One man said: “Loyalty!? — Loyalty!? — what the hell is,
loyalty!?” Then suddenly realizing what was going on, said:
“Okay — shut up!, you hormones!”
***
A human and a tiger were talking and the homo verbosius
said: “Of all the animals, man is not the largest, strongest,
nor swiftest; nor can he fly, or swim like many of the other
creatures, and yet he rules the world by the mere power of his
intellect!” And the tiger said: “I assume you refer to ‘man-
the-species,’ and not you, individually!?” And as soon as the
mortal nodded his agreement, the tiger said: “Oh look! — your
shoe’s untied!” And when the man looked down, the big cat jumped
him and ate him.
***
There are still voices in the city which say: “We should
encourage greater independence & self-reliance.” But they are
too late.
***
We interrupt our normal programming now to bring you this
late breaking news flash!: When the dumb do think, they quite
often — “think about the past.” And now back to our regular
crap.
***
How To Tell If A Man Is Ordinary: He will ask another man
to intercede with life on his behalf.
***
Another Of Our: “Dollar Ninty-Eight, Brief Histories Of
Human Evolution”: After the “Garden Party” — when men got tired
of working, they began to talk; and when they got tired of
talking, they began to write; and when they got tired of writing,
they began to read what others had written; and when they got
tired of reading what others has written, they began criticizing
it. The End. (Unless you really want to get your money’s worth!
— then you can go back and read it again, and start complaining
about how short it was [etc].)
***
Once he began to comprehend how things really are arranged
around these here parts, one, somewhat “nervous” man says he now
feels much better since realizing that if a closed closet can
handle an atomic explosion, it can certainly deal with him “going
to pieces.”
***
In the new woods, a man met a real thinker — and after some
discourse, the man thought: “There’s really nothing you can say
to a thinker.” “Papa — is that why it’s so quiet in the woods?”
…..The “noise” of civilization is — in-large-part —
civilization.
…..”Yes child, now that you mention it — it is quite quiet in
the new part of the wood.”ù “Might you even say — ‘unnaturally
so, Papa!?” “Yes child — ‘unnaturally so’ — which is what
makes it so pleasing and refreshing.”
***
Men’s Opinions: Life’s local homeostat.
***
A Hold-Over Hidden Tip From A Thinker’s Comic Strip: All
really great hobbies are silent, secret, and extremely-y-y —
personal.
***
More Unclassified Schematics Of How The City Is Wired Up Via
Human Circuits: One man saved up his money to have facial
plastic surgery — he wanted to look like a movie star — but
insisted that it had to be a dead movie star.
***
How Does It Look From Here, Dear?!: Do you realize that you
can pay someone to do almost anything for you! — but think!?
The preceding feature was not brought to you through sponsorship
of the American Hormonal Society. A viewer notes: “Hey, dig
this: Like, say I watch your show, say for three minutes, and I
begin to ‘get it,’ù but then say, like I go on and watch it for
six — I begin to totally lose it! Wow!, dude! Over & Out.”
Fact: Sequence, Order, and Logic play no favorites!…unless you
— need them to!
***
One man was given a choice: He could either have a brain —
or a brain tumor, and he said: “What’s the difference?”
***
And now viewers — your “Bonus Premium” for the night: Sure
way to tell if “You’re Dumb”: You’re serious!
***
And now for another installment in our on-going
investigation of the “Nexus-ness Of It All”: This evening’s
segment is entitled: “How The Combination Of A Medical
Condition, Along With A Shift In Geological — Not To Mention,
‘Geo-Graphical’ Ones Can Severely Affect One’s Mental State”:
A man with a hernia,
Went to Burmia,
Only to find that
Rangoon was no more.
A real thinker is only happy when he knows that the rug is going
to be “pulled-out” from under what he used to be.
***
One man offered his son this little private trick: “Ask
yourself, over-and-over again — constantly! — ‘Do you call that
— thinking!?'” Official “U.L.” Test Report: All tricks that
work — are “private.”
***
From our “Cooking Class” segment of the show: When heated
— everything produces its own gravy. Yes — you in the back
there?!… Yes, that does include “partisan stupidity,” sometimes
known as “rational stupidity” — …Oh, alright — “rational
thought” — now sit down so we can get on with it!
***
Herein is presented a brief, but cogent overview of about
where civilization presently stands, as reflected in one man’s
position regarding the literature with which he feeds his mind —
says he: “I do not read anything that does not begin with the
pronoun ‘I’.” In contrast to the “personal arts,” consider this
related definition: Science: The timid’s attempt to weasel into
the game. …Okay — Religion: Those that don’t know which way
to go.
***
Periodically this one man would shout from an upper story
window: “Hey! — all you old dudes — stay away from my house.”
***
The only admissions meaningful to a thinker are private
ones.
***
A kid and his brain-brother were playing a quiz game, and
one of them said: “What do the dumb ofttimes do once they get
really dumb, and bored out of their little minds?” And the other
one said: “Oh, I know! — I know! — let me answer!” (And the
first one, to himself thought: “So who the hell else is there
here to answer!?” — and nodded for him to go on) “They take up
— ‘making predictions’!” * And that just about covers that!ù *
…But then again! — perhaps not! for just then, a man turned
and asked his wife: “How come it is that the really stupid won’t
ever admit it?” …(At least ’tis good that overheating in
humans is not as dangerous as it is in nuclear power facilities.)
And, oh yeah: The wife (since she was just a “temp”) told that
man to “shut-up! about it!” And he thought: “Well — who needs
some one here permanently! — I can tell myself — that!”
***
Some Assurance For Those City-ites Fearing Unemployment:
Usually — once a shill — always a shill.
***
And A Bit More Regarding A Previous Story, For Those Of You
Who May Relentlessly Insist On Doing Even Further Pleasant Damage
To Your Stock Brain: If it were true that: “Cats still run the
world, and it’s now the job of birds to deny it, or ‘discuss-it-
to-death,’ do you begin to see that since cats can’t speak,
there’ll never be anyway for ordinary ears to ever comprehend
what’s actually going on!” And in deep, sweet silence — we
received the supreme, feline “Cheshire smile.”
…..Okay, all you “Limb-shares & Nest-robbers” — a snaky bit
more: Cats — serious! Birds — not s’posed to be. New
Info: At a useful level — hormones won’t hurt you — it’s
words that can prove deadly.
…..And: An Extended Corollary: The ugly can’t be hurt —
neither can a thinker.
***
While apologizing for a harmless faux pas he’d unintentionally
committed toward his friend, the man’s compatriot dismissed it by
saying: “After all: It’s the thought that counts.” And the man
was immediately struck by an unexpected insight and said: “I
just realized! — in the non-hormonal world of man’s contrived
‘civilization’ — everything’s perforce a matter-of: ‘It’s the
thought that counts.’! — what else could it be!? — that’s all
there is!”
***
Expanded Reprieve: The extremely ordinary can’t be much
hurt — and neither can a real thinker.
***
Another way by which to spot an area that is at the cutting
edge of civilization’s evolution is that just-born babies there,
when pulled from the womb and slapped on their bottoms,
immediately cry out for counseling.
***
Another Questionable Example Of How “Sequential Order” Could
— Let-You-Down: Whenever he felt embarrassed, this one man would
cross his legs — and, whenever he felt stupid, he’d cross his
eyes — and, whenever he’d cross the street, he’d feel run-down.
And the standard-issue “dumb part” of one viewer’s mind whined:
“Hey — that wasn’t fair!” Query For Non-Sissies: Just what the
hell does “fairness” have to do with — thinking!?
…..And then another viewer asks: “Is it possible to be a
‘sensitive person’ — and a ‘thinker’ as well?” …Hey! — what
the fuckin’ hell do you think! — Sir-r-r!?
***
Back to the old, Definitions Desk: Mystical States: Man’s
dream of escaping from the local food-chain.
***
A (quote) “error” that gets into an electro-chemical system
will not only perpetuate itself, but will get amplified and
expanded as well. An alert viewing mind realizes that the word
“error” in the above does not actually mean, error.
***
As the man and his trusty canine walked through the woods,
the man began to sing:
“The sun goes up and,
The sun goes down — and,
I’ve learned a lot from My old hound.”
In his own mind, the dog picked up the song for himself:
“Oh,
I can hear him but,
He can’t hear me — and
That keeps me happy,
Happy as can be.”
Special, Side-Bar Feature For Students Of Mythological And
Fanciful Literature: The history of man’s writing of “Fables” is
surpassed only by — (and in secret, at that) — the unpublished
compositions of “Mortal Tales” as told by his local, silent
brethren. An irate viewer snatches up his remote and snarls:
“I’ll be damned if I’ll let something that can’t even talk —
talk about me!” …(and our In-House “News Room Philosopher,”
under-his-breath, adds: “I don’t think we want to pursue this
one any further just now.”)
***
A man, whose mind, doesn’t live outside time — is a man
without much of a mind. Doesn’t the fact that the routine part
of everyone’s thinking drifts obstinately to matters of the past,
give you something resembling a “clue”!
***
In the city — the more serious a man is — the more he
thinks he knows. …(And — oh yeah! — the wronger he is.)
…..Ahh-h-h — but could we not look upon the brighter side of
this matter: If you do not have any particular “talent” — at
least you can “act serious” and fool a whole-e-e bunch of people!
……..”I don’t like the looks, the sound, or the smell of it
at all,” said Commander Courtney.
***
Dualized Definition: Entertainment: To hormones —
survival; to neurons — anything to keep from thinking.
***
And now a fairy tale for little sissy kids and other grown-
ups: When they’re born — life gives everyone a mask. Now —
hush, and go to bed!
***
Those who really believe that men fight over ideas and
ideologies must also believe that blue eyes are caused by the
environment.
***
And now — “For Your Eyes Only: A Private Unveiling Of The
Law Of Diminishing Returns And reality”: You are your own “best
friend”! — You are your only friend! — Most folks ain’t got no
friend. You know — I guess this could really be sad! — were it
not for the corresponding “happy fact” that there continually
exists, the possibility to “think more” and thus “drive away all
of your blues.” …(And a viewer thinks: “No thanks! — I’d
rather be pissed.”)
***
Jackals hunt in packs — men think in herds. And a guy
repeats: “You call that — ‘thinking’!?” …(Don’t suppose I
gotta tell you what the herd would’ve answered back!? — had they
heard.)
***
One man only seemed embarrassed when in the presence of a
dictionary.
***
“How The Environment Could Work — If It Actually ‘Worked’
Like Men Think It Does”: Intellectually — a man’s “formative
years” should be, some time, before he, mentally — expires. And
a traveling woodsman sang to himself:
“I don’t take no guff,
I don’t take no crap;
Since I found my mind to be an
Endless map.”
There is a place within man’s brain, normally unexplored, wherein
you can think such extraordinarily happy thoughts that it’s
almost not even thinking any more.
***
The mere mention of the word “serious” would make this one
man cry — …(it’d make his brother laugh!) A viewer ponders:
“Does everyone have a ‘secret’ idiot brother!?” And his mind
chimed in: “Si! — and not so secret — and not so distant-of
kin!”
***
Thinkers and the civilized speak as much in two different
languages as do the civilized and the un-civilized. …(Okay —
“think in two different languages.”)
***
Romance Revisited: There is no such thing as a “faithful”
hormonal lover! — And if there is one, neurally — a real
thinker wouldn’t want any part of it.
***
Beautiful Machinery Examined, Which Would Make The Rolex
Brothers Hang Their Heads In Shame: As long as men mentally
stand-on-two-feet, they’ll never discover “the truth”! — And so
long as they do so — they’ll never stop trying. * Tick tock —
Ya’ll. *
***
One man never looked at himself …willfully, that is.
…willfully, that is, from a city level.
***
Another Entry From Our “Specialized — And I Mean, Really
Specialized — Physics”: Size and speed are sub-molecularly
related — as exemplified, for instance, by the fact that the
more populous becomes the herd — the faster it moves. And an
Addendum for our viewers of a more Liberal Arts Leaning: The
above is also true regarding — civilization. A voice claiming
to be an “official representative” of the local city, called to
say that we had better be using the term “civilization” in a
strictly “metaphorical sense”! — And left hanging the sentence,
with the lingering aroma of a threat of some sort.
***
Within two decades, you begin to die — yet you live another
four; but with a thinker — it’s that first death that proves a
bother!
***
In Our Diligent Striving To Come Ever Closer To A “Final
Wrap” We Present This Comment From A Viewer: “I may be dumb! —
but at least I don’t know it!”
***
One kid kept reminding himself of the lesson he’d received
from his old man — that it: “Doesn’t matte what you do in city
life as long as you don’t — ‘take it seriously!'”
***
How The Climate Effects The Mind: Men in winter overcoats
lay of their left side — while men in summer suits lay of their
right. Chapter Seven: One man had “two brains” — and said:
“It’s not enough!”
***
Q & A: Q: What’s sadder than growing-up & getting-old? A:
Those who don’t recognize it for what it hormonally is, and never
discover how to neurally be otherwise.
***
Any true “terror” of man, is not in his “man-ness”ù but in
his falling short-of its full potential.
***
And finally, just enough time left for a “Face Up To It”
feature: You’ve got a choice: Either go-ahead and let life
remain larger than your mind — or, try and turn the situation
a-round!
***