Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93080 -1149
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The News
93080- 1
When local conditions doesn’t want anyone going anywhere, it’ll often yell out: “Hey! — let’s all get together and — ‘GO somewhere’!”
…(And it works every time, Sweet Charlotte….every immovable time.)
A man, on down the midway,
Running a, “Guess Your Shoe Size” ‘booth, paused to ponder:
“But if a merry-go-round DID become aware of the natural limitations of its
Travel destiny, could it continue to operate with the same degree of joy, and
Exhilarating expectation!?”
(“A, 10-D, perhaps?)
93080- 2
What ordinary minds are wont to label as “ignorance,”
Is in fact, unrecognized “continuity”!
(And need I say: NECESSARY continuity!?)
93080- 3
The intellectually fashionable are in fact, yesterday’s neural news.
“Once you fully comprehend what’s going on,” noted one citizen,
“It’s actually kind of neat living here in the city —
For one thing: You can never, ‘get behind,’
Because for another: You can never get in front, or even up-to-speed to begin with!”
Looked at a final way: The mind of the collective is never out of date! –
This is a fact! —
You figure out WHY!
93080- 4
Unconditional News from The City:
EVERYBODY’S — “on drugs.”
Well — SURE-E-E! — now that I’ve SAID it —
Just listen….millions of people shouting: “We KNEW it! — We just KNEW it!”
93080- 5
A viewer,
Sitting home alone,
Hits the Mute button on his remote, and muses:
“But if your brain is just normally functioning, via its natural juices,
You’ve got no choice but to ‘be on drugs.’”
AH! — now this would be, “High Definition TV” the way it could be! — DEFINITIVE.
93080– 6
One man temporarily substituted some Jack Daniels in place of his regular neurotransmitters,
And his brain said it couldn’t really tell all that much difference.
93080-7
Gene — I’ve got to say that that last story is a “sad commentary”
On the nature of human existence
— Well, that is, I would normally have to say that,
But I’ve just recently taken a pledge to try and be less dense and stupified.”
93080 8
One man registers this complaint: “My mind is too close to where I live.”
…(For a fee of six hundred dollars, I know someone who might be able to explain this.)
93080- 9
Revelation Time:
The biggest joke that the sane, intelligent people of the world, who are the majority,
Play on the dumbbell minority segment,
Is the former group making the latter group believe that the first group is afraid to DIE!
Palomar Porism: A joke is not funny which doesn’t make the ordinary partially uncomfortable.
…(For a fee of eight hundred dollars I know someone who might be able to explain this one also.)
93080-10
None but the simplistic can be made to feel guilty for simply being alive.
…(Of course they’re ail who’s needed to keep many of our better known institutions
afloat and solvent.)
9 3080 – 11
Now to our Definitions Desk:
Documents: Additional evidence that men can’t think.
A man asks: “Is it easier for a cow to forget he’s a cow when he’s in a herd?”
Mental Health Note: It is still believed that men can drive themselves “crazy” by
Trying to grapple with questions which have no apparent answers.
But Further Note: There exists no statistical findings to indicate that this has any
application to bovines.
93080-12
Corollary To Last Story:
Institutions LOVE-E-E “paper work”!
Institutions ARE-E-E “paper work.”
93080-13
Through only his own aggressive — yet civilized efforts,
One man has risen in city rank from shill to hack.
Congratulations, sir.
93080-14
There are three pertinent, possible reasons why it is futile to Criticize the ordinary for “not thinking”:
One possibility is that they can’t hear it;
Another is that they will not comprehend it,
And a third is that it’s not true.
93080-15
How Local Conditions Look After Things — Especially Themselves:
They have the most surgery who live closest to hospitals.
And a villager pondered:
“What would result if kings and priests understood this’?
93080-16
An in-town Proverb Update:
Man is born in chains, but everywhere he claims otherwise.
93080-17
The really, really civilized believe that everyone can become so.
93080-18
The simple on both the individual & collective levels -are driven to protect their past.
* Hey! with no future — what better to do!? *
We, your serious and professional reporters here at the news show
Would like to say that we find that last comment totally uncalled for and scurrilous
None of us care to debate its veracity–
But just want to express our displeasure in it being said.
93080 19
One man had his cat’s name changed to, “Whooper J. Cooper” —
Then to his chagrin discovered it was his mind — and not his cat.
Some people keep “dumb animals” around for reasons that are dumber than you imagined.
Protesteth a chap: “See here; old man — you shouldn’t talk about my mind in such a manner.
Whew! — talk about your, “bottom of the pagers”! —
Why over in this one literary lumber camp, on weekends some of the after-thought-rowdies
Would get together and have epilogue-rolling competitions.
93080-20
The crude dream of gods cruder than they are;
The sophisticated, of gods more civilized than themselves;
And throughout the history of all this, hormones. (if they could think), have thought:
“What in the hell is this all about!?”
You see, girls & boys — hormones have absolutely NO sense of a tomorrow ….
Which I guess is why they can’t think
….Or maybe it’s the other way around —
— But you see what I mean.
93080-21
If you’re not doing more thinking than you could ever speak of, you’re not doing enough;
This refers to a matter of extravagant quantity — not a problem of inarticulation.
93080-22
In one sense — originality is dangerous, in that there is no one to assist you._
93080- 23
One day,
One city
Made one group of men exclaim: “Hah! — we LAUGH at intellectual danger!”
And then made them collectively wet their pants.
* Such is the nature of civilized “sanity.” *
And a viewer reacts: “Was that statement yon,
An intended, oxymoron?”
93080-24
At an early age,
The son of one thinker began to realize on his own:
Those with something to sell, Have a funny smell.
And a man mused:
“Probably best if the king’s and pontiff’s personal valets know this not,
Least some fine morn they be suddenly overcome by the Truth Fairy.”
03080-25
When a particular cow doesn’t know how to defensively respond to some individual criticism
It will often suddenly declare that such acts are in fact —
“Attacks on the herd as a whole,”
9 3080 -26
Identification Update:
A thinker’s race, religion, and nationality is his mind.
93080-27
A Thinker’s Sure Wager:
Only the simplistic are impressed with themselves.
93080-28
‘Tis difficult to talk about civilized matters without either:
Whining, complaining, or drifting into a sales pitch of some sort.
One man has a plan:
“I’ve got it figured
It’ll work out fine;
If I don’t talk
-I can’t whine.”
93080 29
An item from our, “One Thing’s For Certain” file:
A man who can see “two sides” to every serious issue at least has two eyes.
93080-30
Harsh people use harsh words — crude people, crude;
A complex man uses them to entertain, and to freshen up a salad.
93080 -31
A Follow-Up:
In the context of: “Original,” & “Independent thinking” —
A, “complex man” would be one SO-0-0 unnaturally, and SO-0-0 unpredictably complex
That none of the locally simplistic would ever recognize his complexity.
“Whew-u-WEE!” exclaimed one man, “Now that’s what I call – ‘complex’!”
93080-32
Looking out toward the horizon a man thusly instructed his child:
“In your journey through life, don’t let local conditions do all of the driving.,”
And the youngster asked: “How can you stop it?”
And his father replied: “Everyone around here says that you can’t —
But still — I’m giving you my best advice.”
93080-33
The city understands well:
“Without consistency, the neighborhoods would crumble.
93080-34
Thinker’s Psychological — (Sorry) — Medical Update:
A man with an “unconscious” mind only has half a mind.
Are the kids in bed? okay, Truth Update:
Get the name straights, guys! — not an “unconscious” mind, but a hormonal one, maybe.
93080-35
As they wrestled awkwardly with a piece of complex equipment,
One man momentarily turned reflective and said:
“Only a real dumb-ass would let an inanimate object, ‘get the best of him’.”
And his partner stopped long enough to reply:
“Don’t you dare try and drag me and my relationship to my own mind into this!”
93080-36
More, “Facts That — (In Fact) — Might Actually Be TRUE, (For All WE Know)”
City advice is best sought from a man with a headache.
93080-37
Additional Lessons In Electro/Chemical Bonding:
It’s not possible to hold opinions without them holding you.
93080-38
One man says:
“If I hear one more person try to discourse on some intellectual matter by
Bringing in examples from his own life,
I think I’ll vomit up a rat-on-a-string.”
93080-39
And now for an item from our book of, “Accusatory Definitions & Descriptions”:
The Collective: The ones who initially came up with the idea of putting periods on sentences.
93080-40
One man put all of his neural likes & dislikes on a timer –
And then told ’em: “Watch it, suckers!”
93080-41
You’re not even minimally civilized until you believe that civilization is MORE important than it is.
93080 -42
Crude art arises from hormonal frustration –
Real art from neural clarity.
A man notes, (with a touch of tartness, me, thinks):
“I appreciate you not concluding the above by saying:
‘A real thinker’s art is his life’ —
Really — I appreciate you not doing that.”
93080-43
For the complex — the future is always now.
93080-44
Since “self-help” manuals continue to sell well, one man wanted to join in,
So he wrote his own book entitled:
“21 Tricks That Won’t Cure Depression.”
93080-45
Anyone who accepts as fact, that others collectively,
Are intellectually superior to him,
Is properly part of a herd,
And is indeed, a cow.
93080-46
All city experts have a “plan” —
And none of the plans will work —
And that’s one ;reason that they’re experts.
93080-47
Now, just time for a, “Thinker’s Clamp-Down”:
Anyone who’ll admit to a “weakness” is a weak person.
93080-48
A city-philosopher offered his son this piece of wisdom:
“What more can we ask of our fellow creatures under normal circumstances than that they be:
Honest, intelligent and competent!?,”
And the kid said: “How bout that they have big hooters!?”
93080-49
The lives of the simplistic minded tend to take on overtones of, you-know-what! —
That’s right! — seriousness.
Please-e-e, ladies & gentlemen — DON’T let this happen to YOU.
93080-50
One man’s advice to himself and close friends:
“Don’t ever let anyone know how you got to be like you are.”
93080-51
The brain is a brain;
When it’s in a human, it’s a mind;
When it’s in a thinker — the damn thing’ll actually WORK!
93080-52
Over an early lunch, a father told a son:
“Let me take your attention off of that dizzying merry go round,
And bring you up to a more propitious speed
By noting to you that: Simple men run the city, and the city runs them.”
They finished off with some lightly sugared fruit.
93080 -53
Giving in to excessive public demand, we present again our feature entitled:
“How Life Works, You Jerks!”:
The thin never complain about …the latest diet.
93080-54
If what, “means something special” to everybody else also means anything special to you —
Then you’re no different than everybody else.
A man asks: “Is ‘different’ the same as, ‘better?’
93080-55
The way you can tell that an institution has left the routine ranks,
And reached near mystical status is that they no longer need a slogan.
93080-56
Now a story from our, Criminology Desk:
It is hormones who are homicidal — and neurons who’ve furnished them with improved “fire-power.”
93080-57
One man’s decision is that matters of “redeeming social value”
Are interesting only for those who need redeeming.
(He further requests that ‘in this regard, he be included out.)
930130 -58
“Face saving” tactics are for the use only of those with simplistic faces.
A complex man’s problem with modifiers is that they offer an unwanted means of escape.
93080-59
A viewer takes issue with several of our previous reportings:
“My mind is more than simply “electro-chemical activity!” — my mind is ME! dammit!”
Close, sir — damn close.
93080-60
At every moment — half of all collective thought is worthy of opposition;
None of original thinking is — which is why you never hear of it.
93080-61
Here is one man’s observation:
“The reason that people’s claims of a particular religious fidelity
Smell even curiouser than those –let us say – of a political or nationalistic nature,
Is that in the first instance the allegiance is to an even less significant custom -.- — if that be possible.
93080-62
Being able to “poke holes” in the fabric of man’s routine-affairs
Requires the same kind of keen insight necessary to see light through lace.
93080-63
One day a thinker was trying to think afresh about a certain aspect of life,
When local conditions said: “Perhaps I can help.,”
And the thinker replied: “Thanks kid, but this concerns your old man.”
A viewer wonders:
“Did you just actually tell us the difference between thinking, and, thinking-about-thinking?
Meanwhile — in that same city, a fashion conscious educator instructed his son:
“Never use a new word if you’re not absolutely certain what it means! — OR,
Even if it’s just, ‘too new to you’! —
Caution-&-concern, my boy — Ah! those are the key concepts.”
Words-of-wisdom indeed — for were it not for unexpected intown originality,
Many of our fine, historic neural neighborhoods would not be so subject to change.
93080-64
Cows with no original thoughts of their own,
Can become quite easily, “all choked up” when discussing the herd.
93080 -64-(B)
So okay! — so only the really civilized seem to especially, “care for one another” –
So okay, already! — so that’s how it is and how it’s supposed to be!
So alright already! — so — drop it! how ‘about it!
93080-65
For the simplistic, irony IS justice.
93080~66
If the news doesn’t make you at least a tittle sick — it’s not really, “the news.”
93080-67
The reason mankind required the introduction of “collective thinking’
Is because a herd is always more intelligent than an individual cow.
“Big deal,” you say — “Big deal!” you say if you’re a real THINKER!
93080-68
Kings strongly disapprove of free lance philosophers because
Along with armaments, talk is also a form of power.
93080-69
Two men were looking and talking, and one of them said:
“I sometimes suspect that the less civilized among us actually have the most fun.”
The other guy gazed off, scratched his chin for a while, then replied:
“Even if that be so it seems to me that the rest of us are given compensation
By way of our denouncement of their condition.”
Two kids were neurally engaged in verbal activity and one of them said:
“What greater fun do ordinary adults apparently have than kicking around the young!?”
Two examples of simplicity were talking, and one of them said:
“If we didn’t- have the concept of the more-complex to criticize, what the hell would we do- for fun?
Adage Update: When hormones dance — they don’t have to pay the piper! —
That’s what they have neurons for.
Digging deep in their pockets, & looking a bit embarrassed, some neurotransmitters said:
“We seem to be a little ‘short’ this time round.,” and the cashier replied:
“That’s what you guys always say.,” and all they could seem to do was to
Look even a mite more sheepish as they shleped away to join their friends
Over in the Ordinary Corner.
93080 -70
Collective Reality: A merry go ’round so fast and fascinating
That the simplistic forget that it’s going nowhere.
93080-71
The ordinary have no way to truly judge real intelligence,
And are left to simply compare opinions.
93080-72
And now, as your consolation prize — this statement-of-confirmation:
Stupidity IS frightening.
93080-73
Instead of books, and other people — there was this one man who would consult his own mind
93080-74
Increased complexity IS “originality.”
93080-75
The crude like to do physical acrobatics;
The sophisticated like to pay to see them;
Thinkers do aerobatic, loops and rolls in their own minds,
as they watch from the best seats in the house.
93080-76
There is a trap door into the engine room of life — the human brain.
93080-77
The future is not upon us — the future is IN us.