Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93071 -1140
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The News
93071-1
More, Beginner’ Logic:
Having a big nose will make you serious;
Being serious will make you have a big nose.
On some campuses this is also known-as:
“If God Hadn’t’a Wanted You To Ride The Merry Go Round And Not Enjoy It,
He Wouldn’t’a Also Built Roller Coasters.”
93071-2
Proverbial Wisdom Slapped Around and Whipped Into Shape:
You can fool some of the people all of the time,
And all of the people some of the time,
But you can’t fool ANYBODY unless the city SAYS that you can.
Corollary:
Civilization don’t take no shit off NOBODY! — It don’t friggin’ HAVE to! —
That’s why IT’S civilization, and you’re a guy named Horace,
With three kids and a job with an insurance company!
93071-3
One man had a book he referred to —
— And once he got good at it, he didn’t refer to it any more.
93071-4
Due to the local laws of physics,
Ordinary men cannot think without using comparisons.
Contraire—A thinker discovers that under such conditions—he can’t.
93071-5
Even a deaf dog can hear a call to dinner — —
what the hell happened to your mind!?!?
Birds gotta swim,
Fish gotta fly,
Neurons can be starved, and
Still they won’t die.
“Jeeze! Betty, just think what might happen if we ever actually FED these things!?”
93071-6
Unlike work — the point of fun is that there IS NO point.
…(C.f.: “Thinking,” and, “so-called, thinking.”)
A new, Thinker’s Equation:
The simplistic = work — the complex, fun.
93071-7
A man looked at the city and said:
“I’ve had just about enough of this!” …but he hadn’t.
93071-8
Travel Advisory, submitted by a viewer:
If you make the driver mad,
A man with rotten tomatoes in his pocket will end up sitting by you,
93071-9
One man complains: “Being civilized makes me dizzy!”
And was informed that it is SUPPOSED to.
And across town,
Up in a high-rise condo,
A viewer asks:
“What is the difference between being civilized and being unconscious?”
93071-10
Now – for some, New Age News:
One man channeled for HIM self.
“All great work is done in secret.”
“You mean in the dark?”
“That’s what I said.”
Now, boys & girls — who’d like to define for us what, ‘in the dark’ means, and where we might find it!?
93071-11
The city billboard proclaimed:
“Protect Yourself from Dangerous, In-Coming Ideas—Be Serious!
93071-12
A father advised his child:
“You can learn a lot from the ordinary! — like, to not BE ordinary.”
93071- 13
One recent city discovery: A man’s mind has no relationship to his body;
Another one is that: A man’s body has no relationship to his mind;
And still another one is that — neither of these two are true, or else they are.
93071-14
And some Fine Arts News from our Musicology Desk:
All of man’s institutions began as a fairly simple jazz riff.
Coda:
Once the collective joins in — EVERYTHING begins to sound like Lawrence Welk.
93071-15
Fact: Animals enjoy being used in fables, and being made to seem like clods & dunderheads.
Fact: Men also, in myths & legends.
Historical Foot Disease: Brahma and Shiva were the world’s very first team of comedy writers
93071-16
To live the conventional life of the city collective
is to live one of a continual confessional.
93071-17
A Non-Stop Race: Trying to live — trying to die.
“Hey, Buford — next time they pull out the yeller flag — shoot ever body in the stands.”
“Oh, vendor! — could my friends and I have seventy-two thousand beers over here,
….and, also as many plugs & stoppers as you have on you.
— Oh, vendor! — Oh, yoo, whoo!”
93071- 18
When you look at human life through collective eyes, it’s one thing —
When you do so through individual ones, it’s something else again.
93071-19
Social News:
You can pick fleas off your friends, or you can talk to them.
93071-20
If neurons had hands they’d be hormones.
93071-21
A thinker has a different vocabulary —
Oh, he uses the same words as everyone else — they just have a different meaning for him.
Like with the word, “serious,” for example.
And later, a viewer wrote to note:
“Didn’t you mean to say that a thinker has a ‘secret’ vocabulary rather than a different one!?”
Dear viewer: To an ordinary man’s ordinary way of thinking there is no difference between the two.
93071-22
Stand back for a, Definition:
Thinking With The Collective: Dancing with drugs! — No prescription required.
93071-23
The mighty voice of the city declared:
“You may run, but you can’t hide!,”
And one man said: “I can do both.,”
And the great urban one replied: “Then, you’re not from around HERE!” —
And the man WASN’T;
A chap,
Pretending to be a viewer asks:
“Just what’s the point?” —
— I like that! —
Don’t YOU like that!?
“What’s the point?” — Yeah, we ALL like that.
93071-24
An anchorperson at another station (who asks to remain unnamed),
Offers the observation that: ‘One of the neat things about the job is that
You don’t have to have any credentials to report the news.”
But my colleague, B.J., here at the Station pointed out further that: “Hell! —
It doesn’t require any credentials to MAKE the news!”
“God!” (As we like to say in the reporting biz) “Is this an amazing world or what!?”
93071-25
Now for another visit to our Definitions Desk:
Civilization & Collective Intelligence: The continuing effort to re-paint the wall.
Meanwhile,
Over at the City Minds’ Beach Thinking & Music Festival,
Everyone clearly understood that: “Decent people have decent thoughts.” —
….Well-l-l — nearly everyone! —
— “I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to ask you people to leave!”
93071-26.
Questions For a Runny Day:
Why criticize the self-satisfied incompetent!?
Why talk seriously to those with a lead-lined sense OF seriousness!?
Why wander amongst cattle, commenting on the “bad smell”!?
Why do any of these things, baby brother!? — Why!? —
What’dya wanna do? — grow up to be normal!?!?
93071 -27
Specialization: Stupidity cut into smaller pieces.
93071-28
Some “Philosophy For The Messes — I Mean, The Masses”:
Just “being alive” is a “burden.”
Finding, “being alive” to be a burden is a double burden.
“And, Gee, Gladys, it doesn’t cost one cent more.”
On a far-r-r away planet, some neurons told some hormones,
“If it wasn’t for you guys — we could be happy!”
And the gooey ones replied:
“Hey, flake-off! — if it wasn’t for us — you guys wouldn’t even BE here!”
Be sure and include $3.95 for postage & handling.
93071-29
Now for some, Real Travel News:
On the “Metaphor Express” — a thinker can get off ANY where.
And a serious city father thinks:
“Just what the hell they mean by, ‘get off’!?”
93071-30
If life could be “perfect” – as imagined by the ordinary–
Everyone would have to be the same.
— Is that what you really want!?
93071-31
Pet Lover’s Tip:
The way you can tell the difference in town, between a rat and a squirrel, is that you can’t.
…Oh, okay, Mister Let’s-Be-Specific
Call it, “Thought Lover’s Tip” if you want to!
93071-32
Penny Pincher’s Tip for Gracious City Living:
Just ask yourself: Why do I NEED children,
a career,
a mortgage and debt
when I already have me!?
93071-33
To a thinker’s mind, “secret” rhymes with, “stupid.”
93071-34
Intellectually speaking: It’s hard to help the ordinary! —
cause they don’t NEED any help.
93071-35
Drawing his finger across his throat, one man said:
“I’m up to here in hormones.”
93071-36
Eyes were made to “get in focus.”
The linguistic coincidences of a people reflect many things — but that’s not one of them
And one city, pretending to be a viewer, says:
“The human mind was made to run fast — but not THAT fast, dammit!”
93071-37
In a sense — You gotta work at bein’ dumb.
93071-38
One kid’s motto: “Simplicity sucks.”
Of course, later on when he understood even more, his slogan extended to fit
Even wider vistas, and began to include such insights as:
“Complexity sucks — simplicity reigns!” and,
“Simplicity sucks — complexity rules!”
And on like that until his proverbial views expanded to the point of explosion,
And he was left with a brand new, point-blank-wall decorated with the
Delightful blood of the previous wall.
93071-39
Front rank civilizations today are those areas where the news is prime “entertainment.”
93071-40
All hip thinkers & music lovers in the city LOVE-E-E new ideas!
— Just as long as they sound a lot like, “Stairway to Heaven.”
93071-41
Just when it seems that things can’t get ANY worse —
A thinker thinks some more, and sure nuff — they can’t.
93071-42
The city told half of the creatures:
“A man who won’t take drugs will marry no daughter of mine!”
And to the other half said:
“A man who won’t take drugs can BE no daughter of mine.”
A-hem: A man who can follow the above COULD have remained in Eden! —
— If he’d a’wanted to! —
— And if he’d a’been alive back then
— Instead of his cheap ancestors!
93071-43
Okay — some more, News of The Mystical:
The city can tell your future! —
— The city IS your future.
93071-44
A note from our Viewer’s Guide:
The city is to civilization
As Paris is to post-Eden — the local to the universal —
— A self-painted Kandinsky to your ancestorial blank-wall.
93071 45
Those who don’t KNOW a lot — want to HELP a lot.
93071-46
City Sartorial Suggestion:
A bad haircut can help distract from a bad brain.
…(Another reason that fashion remains popular with the un-thinking.)
93071-47
Truth is —
With ordinary minds — Bad ideas are the same as good ideas —
— They just go by different names at different times.
93071-48
One man began to think of the everyday, intellectual struggles in the city as:
“Hand-to-hand combat among eunuchs.”
93071-49
One thinker told his mind: “I won’t let-on if you won’t.”
93071-50
One father asked his kid:
“Do you want to know-something? — or do you want to become a specialist!?”
93071-51
Civilization does not tell men to — “Loosen up.”
93071 -52
While everyone else is trying to change the speed of their hormonal & neurological clocks
Through various means, both natural and artificial,
A true thinker is trying to create a whole new sense OF time for himself.
93071-53
In his own defense, one man told the city: “I’m stumbling as fast as I CAN!”
93071-54
Longevity Report:
The middle-aged, (and other assorted grown-up peoples), ain’t LONG-G-G for this world.
Thus concludes our, Intellectual Longevity Report –
— ( I did originally say, “Intellectual,” didn’t I?!?)
93071-55
A “sane” man is always a “fashionable” man.
“Daddy, is that the reason you never see thinkers on earth-bound runways!?”
9307)-56
Another feature in our series: “The Hidden Uncovered —Or,
Sweet Justice, Right There Before Your Very Nose”:
Plastic flowers offer plastic smells.
93071-57
Personal thinking is the source of most thoughts.
….(Well….don’t try and fly that one in city park!)
93071-58
Short men see short sights.
93071-59
In response to criticism he’d just received regarding a failed effort, one man said:
“Well, at least I, did my best.” —
And immediately thought: “The implications of that frighten the hell out of me!”
93071-60
The city puts out proverbs just as a gag.
Do you know that the word “gag” has more than one meaning!? —
Why, sure you do! You just forgot for a moment.
93071-61
The chemical and mathematical structures of certain situations are such that –
Beyond the hormonal attraction, or affinity he may physically, feel,
A real thinker doesn’t think about his personal relationships with others as being “close,”
But rather about how much HE likes THEM.
93071-62
Item: Life will forgive a lot.
Correction: Life will forgive EVERYTHING.
And across town in a rowboat, a thinker said:
“There’s no such word as, ‘forgive.'” — and rowed away.
93071-63
To BE human is actually to be unable to engage in a, “job well done” —
since being so is an undertaking forever uncompleted.
93071 -64
Rather than send his cows off to Chicago, one man just ate them himself.
93071-65
One mother told her children:
“Carry your good friends in your front pockets — just like you do your good hormones.”
93071 -66
The only treatment for everything but death is — thinking.
93071-67
To the ordinary — Fun is no-o—o laughing matter!
— And as for “seriousness” — well, just FORGET IT!
93071-68
The point-ok-no-return is where a real thinker starts OUT.