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In life — having talent doesn’t mean much — if you’re
The most recent work of our Investigative News Team has
uncovered the following story: In a blinding fit of attempted
candor one local man said that he would admit to being an
“incompetent, pimple brain” except that it would reflect
unfavorably on his parents.
Hormones keep you alive — neurons keep you wondering if
there’s a purpose.
No matter what commercials are shown, remember that the news
is brought to you by the news — in the same way that thought-
And now over to our Definitions Desk: The Human Mind:
Earth’s original bootlegger, and dope dealer.
The civilized and civilian educated always have to fall back
on the belief that in some way they and everyone else have been
at least partially victimized and mistreated by life. (At times
of extreme mental stress, this goes far beyond merely “explaining
Good Urban Advice: To be sure of stability — be dull-l-l.
Conversation In An Off-White, Bordered By A Nice Cobalt
Blue: “Man’s environment shapes him as surely as water does a
fish.” “That’s absurd.” “Well, perhaps I’m wrong.”
When it comes to the matter of the “simple & the complex,”
hormones and neurons have their own individual preferences.
One man says he has this sort of “half-baked (or, done)”
theory that people who are very angry, and those very religious
are both mostly “fakin’ it.”
A man who persistently tries to think independently
undergoes a continuing metamorphosis.
Everyone lives on the basis of, what-they-understand —
…(most people don’t understand much.)
Fact Time (Caroline): Fact: If you can outlive your
generation, you can begin to think. Fact: You can’t “outlive”
your generation — you’ve got to find another way of doing it.
After a boisterous night of carousing, one city gave his
human drinking buddies this advice: “Screw the art — sell more
And now a feature from our Food & Nutrition Desk: Accepting
what someone else has thought is a form of “dumpster diving.”
The members of all professions, and institutions take their
organizations’ activities to be more important than they are —
they have no choice in the matter.
One man says he has this great new idea, and he wants to
share it with you, and says for you to go right ahead and feel
free to use it since he doubts he’ll ever get around to doing so
— but he says it’s really a “great idea” — and it’s this:
Whenever you’re ready to criticize something — don’t! — just go
on and do it yourself the way it should be done.
More from our Definitions Desk: Being Grown Up: The time
at which you must pretend even harder than you did when a child.
Now for some news from the medical/lit/medical front:
Although neurology and psychology have yet to catch up in their
diagnosis, we are here to report that: Anyone who has a hero is
And now over to me, at our, Simile Desk: A thinker is like
a Samurai — his words (to himself) like a recreational, hara-
kiri knife. * A man who can’t properly carve-himself-up
intellectually, will never fully appreciate the joys of
And — Animal News (of sorts): Everyone crying “Wolf!”
might as well be shouting out: “Hey — look over here at dumbo!”
Flash!! — The intelligent are always moody. …(Yeah…I
thought you’d like that one!)
Progress appears in the collective — but is accomplished in
What passes for knowledge among the ordinary is too simple
and direct — that is — too simple and direct in that it is
always only half of what should be “simple and direct.” (If
you’re a civilian, don’t hurt yourself on this — only an
independent thinker can actually understand it.)
Men totally lost like to believe they’re “on a mission!”
Artists (including thinkers) who: Quote, satirize, idolize,
or otherwise make note of any competitors are hacks — no matter
their success or reputation.
People are frightened by many things — but mostly by other
people, although they believe it is more specifically by their
ideas, beliefs, and customs.
The continuity of an ordinary man is in the repetition of
what he thinks.
Back to, Fact Time: Fact: Age has nothing to do with it.
Fact: Age has everything to do with it. Fact: There’s nothing
you can do about age. Fact: You’ve got to.
Two men were talking and one of them said: “Giving advice
is like spitting-in-the-wind.” And the other one replied:
“Wind!? — What wind!?” Definition: Advice: Something that’ll
slip back up and bite you on the ass — …(if people who gave
advice, had an ass!)
Thinking is not what people take it to be, or else everyone
would be doing it.
The life-of-man resembles the life-of-an-elevator —
…(except that the Otis company won’t come repair you.)
Indigenousness Determined & Revealed For Your Late Night
Listening Enjoyment: Philistines, plagiarists, and the Propriety
Police are all “children of the city.”
Only those who know little believe that knowing something
special would make them special.
And now over to our City Definitions Desk for this item:
The Hip: Those filled with new cliches.
Of course the easiest way to play like you’re somebody
special is to divide up everybody into two groups and place
yourself in one of them.
In a small clearing, just outside some woods, a man stopped
and thought: “Should I become religious, or just suffer on my
own?…” * Hormones are herd creatures, and man’s institutions
are always there, ready to help. *
Thinking for any other reason than enjoyment is like eating
only to stay alive. According to legend on this one world, all
civilians, at the immediate moment just before death, all
suddenly think: “Boy, did I miss-the-boat!”
The mind will protect itself from undue strain and sweat
through fear and uncertainty. Neurons that are frightened of
anything, aren’t real neurons — but civilian impostors.
A thinker: One who will dance where no one has stumbled
Sewer rats and the bathroom fixtures industry were the ones
who first came up with the concept of “fairness.”
Man Will Be Man, Will Be Man, Will Be Man: One man said:
“I don’t give a god damn what happens to anybody as long as it
doesn’t happen to me.” (At some later date he plans to run for
public office in the city.)
An independent thinker is someone who can look up life’s
skirt without being crude about it.
A Delimitation Attempted Through Dialogue: “You can’t lie
to hormones.”ù “That’s only because they can’t talk.” “Then what
do you call the things that do, and that you can to?”
While reflecting on his relationship with non-bovine
compatriots, a man pondered: “Should I, if it becomes necessary,
shoot my friends with a .22, and others with a .357? — or, vice
Many city artists feel it is their calling to do no more
than squeal whenever they believe life has stepped on someone.
A man who can think-for-himself can live with himself — a
man who can think-for-himself can live by himself.
Drugs, beliefs, opinions, and other assorted cerebral
activities can afford the simple the temporary sensation of being
To be a thinker is to, sit-out some dances — but to
initiate others. Query Time: Query: Does anyone really know
what “step” it is that a real thinker’s doing!? Query: Does
anyone really care!? Query: Why should they!? (Query
New Verbal Picturizations from our Outsider’s Dictionary:
Critics: Anuses with but a tenuous connection to alimentary
The collective intelligence of man is truly a wondrous and
amazing sight! — (That of an individual can be interesting
Advice, in the overall body of humanity, is like blood
platelets in the circulatory system of an individual.
One man came to a conclusion: “You can learn a lot from
life.” He later came to another one: “From who else!?”
On The Job Medical News: A man with a pea brain may be
excused from more complex urine testings. As he gazed off into
the warm sunset, he said to himself: “I think — therefore I
am.” And replied: “And I notice you am’nt much!”
If crudeness makes you laugh, you’re still too crude.
And now over to our, Allegory Files: The city is to Eden as
today is to yesterday, as neurons are to hormones, and as your
dreams are to current reality. Although a thinker is not
satisfied with present urban life, neither does he want to return
to any gardens-of-the-past; space-&-temporal flight!ù — yes,
that’s what he longs for. (Note: Those who now have some notion
of what this is all about may care to ignore my mentioning of
this as being in any way “allegorical.”)
Most people’s primary hobby is “being ordinary.”
One man pondered the news thusly: “Well, if the universal
is complex, and the local, simple, then how did man end up here
— driven by the desire to become more complex!?”
The human mind is the sole ship that can sail on its own
It is the simple that appears static.
All organizations are anti-thought.
Definition Revisited: A critic: A man dancing backwards,
desperately groping about for a rear-view mirror.
Hormones will accept a simple life, but not so, your neural
The imagination of the civilized is different than the
imagination of a thinker.
Once men saw how lions could run, whales could swim, and
eagles could fly, they began to sing-and-dance. World Of
Entertainment Definition: Local Reality: Taking the show on the
From our Department Of Civilizations Investigations, this
piece of, Government News: There are two usable, useful
definitions of Government: One is: Men coming together to try
and do their “civilized best”; and another is: Men coming
together so as to be as imperceptive collectively as they are
It’s hard to ever learn-a-little without getting all tangled
up in this.
Every adventure is an allegory — every “stay-at-home”
another comfy-nail in the coffin of certainty and ordinariness.
How It Goes, How It Goes — Hold Your Nose, How It Goes:
Ordinary people make more out of life than is actually there,
then thinkers come along and make more out of ordinary people
than is really necessary. …(You can let go now.)
The simple is humorous — the complex, interesting! …(and
And a bit more, Show Business News: The height of
entertainment is individual intelligence.
The internal good-will a thinker’s mind generates can see him
through a lot.
As he stood at the bar, he was suddenly struck: “If man
didn’t think — he’d never drink.”ù He raised his glass, and
One man’s personal motto was: “This is progress!?”
“I say, son, I say: A real thinker’s own self-directed
good-will can sure see him through a lot (I say).”