Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93029 -1098
Transcript = None
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The News
93029- 1
Once the truth was known — some took it harder than others —
— but none bad enough for it to be noticed.
It is precisely matters such as this
that cause the unseemly envy displayed by so many of earth’s other creatures toward man.
93029- 2
Habit is to hormones as Bach is to brains.
93029- 3
One of the everyday advantages to living in a herd is that there is
always some kind of noise “out there” to distract you from the one in you.
Curio from our, Judicial History Desk:
Did you know that not once in more than five thousand years of recorded history has any civilization ever passed laws prohibiting men from being hermits?! –’tis never necessary.
93029- 4
The weak always weaken.
93029- 5
From an ordinary view,
A man trying to teach someone else how to “think for himself,”
would be like someone giving swimming instructions
while whittling away at the students’ arms and legs —
…. which ain’t all that bad a comparison . . . . and in fact may be more than a simile.
93029- 6
According to one cosmic rumor —
Local reality has only laughed once in the last eighty-six hundred years,
and that was the first time it heard man refer to the idea of, “Secret knowledge.”
93029- 7
One possible, “Brief History Again, Of Man”:
When you’re young, hormones keep you going; when you’re grown, dreams keep you alive,
and when you’re old, spite normally takes over.
93029- 8
And from our, Science & Psychology Desk:
In the behavioral disciplines — if you look for something — you will find it.
93029- 9
The human intellect is the only operation of this world that when satiated is still not satisfied.
93029-10
If neurons were as easily satisfied as hormones — we wouldn’t even be discussing it.
93029-11
Men who cannot seem to think for themselves, will,
as they should,
accept that man collectively,
as represented by his institutions–does.
930 2 9 – 12
From our, Conversation Desk:
“It is the frailest of sheep who most loudly bleat.”
Is that some kind of metaphor regarding man?”
“Jeeze–I don’t know.”
93029 – 13
There is: The local, the common, and conformity —
and there is: The universal, the personal, and variety —
or at least you should be aware that there is.
93029-14
The ordinary believe that if you “point out” something — you have an opinion about it — because if THEY do — they DO.
93029-15
No one does or does not, “get what they deserve” — life simply does what it does, and man’s intellect helps produce energy by debating it.
Another item from our, “More News Than Anybody Actually ASKED FOR” Desk.
93029-16
To hormones, there is no higher, “moral authority” than death –why not take a free lesson from these ancient, physical pathfinders?
93029-17
Memories: Thinking’s attempt to, “Be somebody.”
93029-18
“A Penal Fable,” (using humans for humans instead of animals):
The closer some prisoners get to the final day of their sentence
the more many of them begin to dream of merging with their uniform — forever.
93029-19
Home Breast & Limbic Self-Examination Test:
If being depressed and feeling sorry for yourself is not more fun than thinking —
— then you’re not normal.
93029-20
In response- to one of our recent news stories a man says:
“ I don’t believe that people will take no for an answer just because you change it to yes.”:
Alright sir — we agree — they won’t,
and the man said: “Now that’s better.”
93029-21
And this from our, “What Should Be: ‘Truth-In-Theology'” department:
An actual, “religious person,” would be someone who could think for himself, and yet this continues to seem so strange and foreign to man that many still want to attribute such an ability to far-away gods and spirits, but even then are scarcely able to offer a believable picture of how it might work.
93029-22
If you’re ordinary — life doesn’t expect much of you — just whatever you are doing now.
93029-23
To make your mind think in a non-partisan manner is to almost live in another universe.
…(A cheap, collective, “knock-off” of this is to just act weird.)
93029-24
Only out-right fools take life seriously! —
All of the ordinary, sane, and reasonable people just pretend that they do — It’s just those down-right, out-right fools who actually DO so!
Another invigorating item from our department of:
“Aren’t You Glad This One Wasn’t Followed By Any Personal Questions Aimed In Your Direction?”
93029-25
As regards how intellectual matters allegorically expand and proceed:
Every “knowledge-prophet” fathers his own subsequent apologist, and extended case of hemorrhoids,
so that all mental efforts can-and-must trail themselves, and, can-and-must, clean up after themselves.
93029 26
It certainly is easy to make cynical, aggressive fun of man — and extremely ill tasting.
(The religious try to get around this by saying they’re simply quoting god.
…. [Which brings up yet another neat aspect of being your own thinker: You can’t quote ANY body!])
93029-27
If wolves could dream, they’d dream of the Leader-of-the-Pack–
And neurons asked: “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
And hormones replied: “But when you and I were cubs — before we could speak — We DID!”
93029 -28
Once you fall-down — after that, everything contributes to your down-fall.
Thus, to a thinker — The danger in once being weak is that you’ll then be so again.
93029-29
If you believe what everybody else believes — or,
if you DIS-believe what everybody else believes,
you believe what everybody else believes and that’s the end of it.
9.3029-30
Our, “Question Of The Day”:
Is “Thinking-man” the sole engine that can be run on combustible fuel, AND
noncombustible as well?!
93029-31
One of the unclassified — nay, near unspeakable — pleasures of being a reporter, or a teacher, could be pictured as the marathon runner, Pheidippides, describing himself as a “twenty-six-mile journey.”
93029-32
And now another item from our, “International Desk Of: How Things Work”:
Under most common conditions — the “good news” usually just seems to be that the ‘bad news” is not as bad as first thought.
93029-33
Instead of his own, internal, daily, “news show,”
one man decided to replace it with a, “Question & Answer Program,”
but by the time of only the second broadcast he already had serious trouble in the studio
when one of his afferent neural contestants startled everyone by shouting;
“Watch out! – the correct answer to that question is: The Court of Athens, and the prize they’re rushing toward us with is a drink that never requires a chaser!”
93029-34
Although the reporters and networks don’t realize it,
Many news stories don’t actually happen,
But are just made-up by life to subtly poke a little fun at man.
93029-35
And —
In just a few moments,
In the next portion of the program,
We will be asking an expert about another hot, current news story.
93029-36
And from our, Editorial Desk: A real news program doesn’t HAVE an Editorial Desk.
(That was a news item — not an editorial.)
93029-37
The brain is an organ;
The mind is one word;
Thinking is two and more words.
And individual thinking is all of THIS — and more.
93029-38
To protect themself from chilly, intrusive winds,
All a cow must do is, “serious-up,” and be more cow-like.
93029-39
Neurons want to believe that even stricter demands apply to them than do to hormones -when just the reverse should be so.
Thus, can it be seen from anew that the dynamics of collective progress and civilization remain firmly based on a kind of extraordinary illusion.
A man, who finally understands this, has few rocks left to throw at that shaky, unreliable, figure over there in the shadows — other men’s personalities.
93029-40
Stout Definition:
Being Weak: Being ordinary and not liking it.
93029-41
If you don’t plan to know any more than you know now, then what you know now is sufficient.
Another scintillating item from our,
“Take Me Off the Grill, I Think I’m Done Now” Desk.
93029-42
A thinker can laugh at ordinary seriousness since he is super serious and trying to hide it.
Another fine item from our, “Little Bit Of Humor” Desk.
93029 43
Additional research always casts doubt on previous research.
Hey! — where do you think you are any way?
93029-44
News Homology: Only the dense can always be certain where they are.
93029-45
Although hormones can non-verbally, “tell time” —
There’s only two or three times a day they actually care about; and thus — to help fill up the rest of the time–neurons are responsible for coming up with all sorts of other stuff.
93029-46
Those who don’t want to see you think for yourself, will tell you that it is a waste of time — and they may be right.
…(In the above,
the words, “may be” are optional.)
93029-47
Every normal person has at least one deranged rat hiding in a dark corner of their closet —
— This in part is what helps keep them sane and normal.
Warning: Do not attempt to “Figure this out” unless you are normal! — and even then, it won’t do you any good.
And from our, Perchance Desk:
Could that perchance be a reasonable definition of “normal”?! –
Normal: A condition, in which, nothing will “do you any good.”
93029-48
Sleep: The world’s greatest healer —
Given enough time, sleep can cure anything! . . . . . .Including, alertness.
93029-49
The intellectuals within the collective began calling themselves, “intellectuals”
so that the others would believe they were more intellectual than they were.
93029-50
If you’re politically serious, you’re mature — TOO mature!
93029 5 1
The ordinary demand much of themselves because they’re made to believe it is proper — A real thinker does so because he knows it is.
93029-52
Amongst common herds — Genes tend to favor genes over any theories.
….Tell me again — Where do you stay at?
93029-53
A lengthy history of how some would-be thinkers progress:
Some of them reach the point where they feel:
“If I understood any more about life, I’m not sure I could continue to live it.” — And they give up their thinking efforts.
93029-54
In our cities:
Those who live on Streets believe there is no particular purpose, or secret to life; while those who live on Avenues believe just the opposite;
and those who reside on Boulevards mainly spend their afternoons
strolling up and down the way, trying not to think about it.
93029-55
A proverb that makes you feel good is no proverb — and one that makes you feel bad is useless.
A man with an up-to-date brain has a tunnel to a special library.
93029-56
Part of the invisible fencing that contains and confines man:
– You can’t think for yourself unless you have some non-partisan idea of how life works — AND
– Unless you have some extra-routine insight into how life works you can’t ever think for yourself.
93029-57
Human thought is the only form of gridlock that can be in such a state, and still appear to be moving.
93029 58
Which is more important to a full-functioning, civilized man:
A good credit rating, or certain areas of his left, cerebral hemisphere? –
And the correct answer is: The latter —
Since without speech man could not be sufficiently serious to properly survive.
93029-59
Only the dense recognize irony — all right: Only the literate dense recognize irony.
93029-60
The trick to independent thinking is to get your neurons to age in the opposite direction from your hormones.
The ordinary dread aging because it portends physical death — thinkers, for another reason entirely.
Pause…ponder…then a corollary:
Do you begin to see that in secret,
there is no way that a real thinker can be other than
privately blasphemous, contrary and offensive to himself,
and all that life has made him stand for, thus far.
93029-61
Anyone who forgets that talk is intended primarily as a form of “entertainment” will be inclined to periodic fits of verbally-induced frustration,
and seizures of seriousness.
93029-62
Now this feature from our department of, “Unused Descriptions”:
Being able to think for yourself, somewhat independently, is like having once been on a restless, confusing sea, but are now in a nice condo in Fort Lauderdale.
93029-63
A man with a brain doesn’t need a book.
a3029-64
What bothers the ordinary about art,
Is not whether it is somehow, “good, or bad,” but the unruly freedom it seems to represent.
93029-65
One wanna-be-thinker decided to, “re-write history,”
and began by first abandoning his own personal memories —
. . . . . as if he had a choice.
93029-66
After he realized that geology had more effect on him
than did his childhood psychological experiences,
this one man then knew that it is possible to think more independently for oneself.
93029-67
And from our, “Outlaw Proverb” Desk:
A wise man is one who will admit to what he does not know; a stupid man is one who will do so publicly.
93029-68
To a real thinker — ordinary thoughts are like bullets to a dead man.
93029-69
After one man finally understood all the news of his world afresh and anew, he got on a rocket ship and left.
93029-70
The greatest lessons ever told, are never told.
93029-71
How Institutions Keep Surviving: A whole bunch of men together
are not a whole lot dumber than just one by himself.
Definition Of A “Real Thinker” As Hidden Within A Ridiculous Proverb:
A ship that carries its own life boat won’t probably ever wreck correctly.
93029-72
When men run out of anything new to think about life,
they’ll begin to think about what they “think” about life.
(This generally occurs with each person at about five minutes after Eden.)
93029-73
And from our, Transcontinental Dialogue Desk:
“A man who can think, ‘point-blank’ – doesn’t need any similes.”
“Yes, I agree–it’s just like I was telling my sister recently…”
93029-74
A man who can think without his own partisan opinions Is like a steamroller with nothing left to moosh.
93029-75
Spontaneity is a spotty affair hormonally — and almost nonexistent, neurally.
Note-as-always: Regular people can believe just the opposite.
…(See! — that’s why they’re regular and you’re not!)
93029-76
Memories make a thinker weak.
93029-77
If the answers everybody else has already come up with for a particular question tick you off — then you’ve got no better notions regarding it than they do.
93029-78
An independent thinker uses knowledge as a bomb sight — not a target.
93029-79
One man suddenly-thought:
“Who knows what a real, independent thinker would think?”
And just as quickly realized, “Nobody!” And shut up about the matter.
93029-80
So that men would not lose their intellectual appetite,
Life’s- arranged it so that the sane — for several decades — believe that next year’s birthday cake will undoubtedly be the conclusive, fulfilling ambrosia.
93029-81
The further away neurons’ interests,
the more serious needs appear their cause and commitment.
Examples: They’re everywhere – all around you.
93029-82
The original inspiration for the concept of, “ergonomics,” was the normal operations of the human intellect.
93029-83
Being capable of being satisfied with being DIS-satisfied is the mark of a truly civilized man or woman.
93029-84
Everyone who can think wants some drugs for their mind — some are just ashamed to ask.
93029-85
The winds-of-change are cosmic in scope — but limited in local application.
A would-be thinker has got to take this situation into his own hands.
93029-86
Once you know a certain amount — you’re very little entertaining to any but yourself.
93029-81
Men who seek metaphors may find metaphors —
And those who become too enamored with their finds may then fail to go on to discover
the fresh point-blank-walls of other worlds.
93029-88
By-Laws of Civilization:
The serious rule the world -and ultimately live to rue it.
93029-89
One man’s crackerjack motto:
“Life and death so fleeting–neural boredom so long-g-g, and drawn-n-n out.
93029-90
Just as the hypothalamus links the nervous and endocrine systems,
and just as human speech ultimately joins together the limbic and cortical regions, so too does the Ben Franklin Bridge connect Philadelphia and Camden.
Proof again that within compound similes the punch line does not have to come last.
93029-91
One man thought, (once or more times): “It sure is hard to keep this up.”
93029-92
Hormones have sex — neurons, fiction.
93029-93
Top Ten Metaphors that one man wanted to take with him to a desert island:
Number One: Man is not a metaphor for anything.
…(he said, skip the other nine.
93029-94
And from our, Astrophysics Desk:
The First Law of the Intellectual Universe is: Never stop talking.
93029-95
When left to their own normal devices — men tend to act like men.
93029-96
You can tell when the weak are wanting to quit- — they’ll start talking a lot about all of their effort thus far.
(Okay — you deserve it):
How can you tell that a real thinker is going to keep going? He keeps going.
93029 -97
Unless YOU are pretty plain and direct — life sure-e-e can get complicated.
93029-93
The happy truth is that — nothing anybody else has ever thought has any bearing on a real thinker.
93029 -9.9
Be common if you must — don’t, if you can.
93029-100
The intellectual existence of man is like the finest spider web ever spun —
Dreamed within the finest dream ever dreamt
Except that it is strong as steel, and real as hell.
93029.101
Collectively, and genetically: Man-cries-out-for-man;
Individually, a real thinker calls out only to himself.
Since no others can properly respond.
93029.102
(1): Nobody is a product of their own making.
(2): To ever be able to think-for-yourself,
you must at least partially be a “product of your own making.”
(3): Go figure, and (4): Go do.
93029.103
Exit Question: What could be more fun than still being alive when you should be dead?
An independent thinker IS a walking, talking response TO the above.