Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93028 -1097
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The News
93028- 1
The routine growth and dynamics of the human senses within the span of one normal lifetime is such that a man who can “smell” will at some time — smell bad,
and minds that can ordinarily “think” will consistently tend to do so, badly.
Query: How can anything that comes natural to a creature be done badly?
Answer: It can’t.
Query: Then why do I think so?
Answer: There is your answer.
93028- 2
A man dumb enough can fall off of anything.
93028- 3
Man made up the notion of the, “imaginary”
so as to have a nice way of turning away from the obvious when need be.
93028- 4
And now, The War News:
The wars appear to continue.
93028- 5
If genes are man’s mother,
And hormones his nanny,
Then his neural personality is an electronic baby-sitter.
93028- 6
Whenever this one man would want himself to do something that he didn’t want to do, he would switch on the intercom, and in a very authoritarian voice announce: “Attention! – this is your Commander speaking – and I have some very important instructions for each and every one of you!” — Then he’d slip off into a far corner,
And just LAUGH-H-H like a deranged stowaway.
93028- 7
Thinking As It Is: A house on stilts –that can only withstand the onslaught of the waters by yielding — whilst insisting that it “shall not bend!”
93028- 8
“Is it possible to trick a man into — thinking-for-himself?” “I don’t know — you wanna try and see?!”
And now from our, “Poetry In The Woods” Desk:
I think that I shall never see,
how any but life could so fool me.
And now from our, “Kind Reminder Desk”:
It is possible to not see the forest for the forest.
…(And let’s see now: The original question was:
“Is it possible to trick a man into — thinking-for-himself” ? hummmmmm)
93028- 9
Thinking is circular–real thinking is not.
93028 10
In a split second — just before a new hickey appeared on its brain, the mind of one civilization thought:
“If it is not good for me, then why is being sad so much fun?
The safety feature of being temporarily off-balance among friends is that you can’t stay that way for long, and stay alive.
With your sweet remittance of fifteen ninety-five to our broadcast, we will send you printed materials explaining whether the above is directly pointing to intellectual matters or not.
93028-11
In the city,
The way to handle a stupid cow is to cut it up into ever-increasing – little bitty pieces.
This has worked so far —
and will continue to work — as long as it works.
93028-12
A man one day wondered:
“Why does even my sexual prime extend past my mental one?!”
A, “Truth In The Media” Note:
So few people ever do so wonder about such things is why we must make IT such news as this.
A, “Veracity Not Necessarily Of The Visceral” Addendum:
Those with proper appetites and reception realize that these news broadcasts are not coming from our studios, but from your mind.
A near-by civilization made a rude noise and said: “I burp — therefore I am. Burp!”
93028-13
Survival is not a “hermits’ game,” but rather one of numbers.
93028-14
And from our, “Ain’t Life Sweet” Desk:
If you don’t know what you’re doing,
It doesn’t matter whether you know what you’re doing or not.
93028–15
You could picture the attempt to “think independently” sort of like a:
civil uprising—with injury to none …. (and least to none sharp enough to realize it.)
93028-16
Item:
A man’s reflection doesn’t mean spit! — IF he can keep up with it.
Query: What IS a man’s mind — but a reflection of him?!
My Answer: Your query still doesn’t change the item.
Fact: Lips that can keep moving long enough can get a man’s mind out of most any corner.
Anti-Fact: Same thing — but inside-out, backwards and sideways.
93028-17
Hormones can’t stand indifference! — but at least it won’t kill ’em — like it will emotions.
And a man says: “I don’t want to think about it — therefore, I am.”
93028-18
Only the witless condemn one another.
93028-19
Two Lines from A Three- or Four-Line Conversation:
“Just repeating something won’t make it so.”
“Yes, it will—just try it.”
The preceding was:
“Two Lines from A Three- or Four-Line Conversation”:
“Yeah, yeah! — I can count!”
“Yeah, yeah — but can you think?!”
And that preceding was ALSO:
“Two Lines from A…” blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.
93028-20
The safety that is physically inherent in numbers can be otherwise mentally.
If your brain feels all warm-and-cozy from the company of others, you’re no real thinker.
93028-21
It does no good to be strong if you’re just going to die —
— And at least life has the courtesy not to tell you this regarding your mind, back when you were yet young.
93028-22
From our department of:
“The Limitations OF Proverbial Wisdom ARE It’s Defining Glory”:
Note that there is only the adage encouraging one to let sleeping DOGS lie, and not one that bothers to say you should probably not wake up lions and tigers who’re taking a nap.
93028-23
From our, Fact Desk:
Fact: Anyone who believes that human life is some kind of battle
between two opposing forces that man can identify — is a genius of singular quality.
And, Thank you, Mister Fact Desk Man.
93028-24
And now for a feature from our, “Unusual Comparisons” Desk:
To rats, man is a metaphor for “something-or-the-other”.
93028-25
Our, “Proverb For The Day”:
Never,
In times of war and turmoil,
Should you send a young, one-eyed boy to the doughnut shop
For a general who has just returned from the heart of the hostilities.
Our, “Conclusion For The Day”:
It is possible to drag out a proverb too long.
93028-26
There is no such thing as, “no such thing.”
93028-27
One man says that thanks to one of the recent news items from our Astronomy Desk. He has discovered the most remote object in his own mind! — But that alas — it too reacted by making an insulting gesture.
93028-28
The crude and common are kept in bunches.
93028–29
Some men made up mathematics —
after spending considerable time talking to words–until they realized how dumb they were!
Oh no! — You pulled it on us again!
May the combined spirits of Marathon and Edward R. Murrow break your favorite easy chair.
A man — no, I’m sorry — A mind, no, I”m sorry —
A man given warning is like a fired bullet looking for a gun to return to ……well, it THINKS it’s been fired.
93028-30
Life protects its future via man, through two specific methods….
93028-31
To accept being mentally angered — is to accept being dense and ordinary.
* The dumb get mad, the smart keep going.
93028-32
As the neurons first left home, the cosmic council so advised them:
“If you ever stop — you’re dead!”
93028 -33
One man tried to tell his own mind:
“Anyone who will entertain common thinking,
would leave out fresh hot porridge with prunes each day for uninvited bears.
And his acute mental facilities — ever alert — immediately responded: “Did you say with PRUNES?
93028-34
Being dead is being quite serious enough!
93028-35
The gross only have one another — which is why they’re always so concerned with “looks.” …(You goober-brains do realize that we’re still reporting news here
regarding intellectual matters, and not physical ones?)
And one curvaceous cortical lobe,
Fluffed up its hair,
Stuck out a hip,
Pouted its lips and cooed to all of those down below:
“Why don’t you guys come up and see-me-some-time —
Like I asked you to six thousand YEARS AGO?!”
“Yes, Nurse Vandemere, it sounds like another case of, ‘Intellectual PMS’ to me, too.”
93028-36
Education: Religion with increased attendance requirements.
93028-37
The common — all banded together
can then believe that they are most assuredly — UN common!
…that is one of the purposes OF “banding together.”
93028-38
Now this item from our, “What More Can Be Said-Of” Desk:
What more can be said-of a man whose mind is no smarter than his stomach or genitals? — not that those parts don’t have their own form of intelligence —
but STILL…)
93028-39
If men can naturally, “think for themselves” — then answer me this: Who installed the very first burglar alarm? – and
What can it be that will act to alert the alarm system itself?
So long as local reality is able to build four-sided cells for 3-D prisons — no penal reform is needed.
“Had on there, Doctor Blankoff,
Are you back-to diagnosing mental matters rather than physical ones again?
93028 40
One man couldn’t hardly bear to throw away anything —
His house, head, and heart were full of garbage like you wouldn’t believe!
93028-41
Censure Misplaced Yet Again:
Men make excuses for positive purposes of mental hygiene.
93028-42
The lovely have each other — the plain, only themself.
….And — (might I add) — the plain just LOVE-E-E it that way.
You know,
I believe that the entire medical staff is now caught up in more neural matters than hormonal ones.
93028-43
From our “Yes, Now It Can Be Said” Department:
Yes, now it can be said that men are able to “think for themselves”! — JUST the same as how fish produce their own water.
93028-44
There are common drugs, and exotic drugs;
There are cheap drugs, and expensive drugs;
And there are prescription drugs, and illicit drugs -But there is only one brain.
Looking down into the commode of his own mind,
One man mused: “All of that effort – for just that little bit?’
93028-45
The ordinary are not only ordinary — but want everyone else to be so as well,
…(This, in some circles, is known as, “Civilization.”)
93028-46
And now from our, Maybe Desk:
Maybe scientists can’t find the end of the universe, or figure out where it came from because it doesn’t actually exist.
93028-47
Behind everyone’s eyes is another set of eyes, —
behind a thinker’s– a refrigeration unit.
93028 48
In a follow-up move,
One man attempted to trade in his emotional sensibilities for a John Deere combine.
93028 49
A real thinker’s mind should be the least gregarious — most solitary of his creatures – In that it should lack a continuing gross familiarity with the crude and common.
93028-50
Two versions of the, “Civilization, Creation Myth”:
In one version, civilization began when the first talking neurons got a good look at the activities of hormones,
and said: “Hey-y-y — just what do you guys think you’re doing?!“
While the other version says that civilization actually started when hormones first began to look around over their little shoulders, and wonder amongst themselves:
“You think anybody saw us DO THAT?”
93028-51
Everyone will take no for any answer — all you have to do is change it to yes.
Notice: Only man says: “No one can make a fool out of me!” — never do words say such.
One day a man pondered: “What is it that my words know that I don’t?”
..(We can only pray that this poor creature never takes this line of inquiry any further.)
93028-52
“Using your own life as an example to figure out what’s going on is a pretty cheap approach: “Yeah — but better than no approach.”
A man reflected:
“I would be much more impressed with the potential of the intellect if, for instance,
fleas could finally come up with a philosophy that was not mite based.”
(“Yeah”, he repeated under his breath, ‘But still better than no approach at all!”
And from our, “Reassurance Desk”:
Yes, god still loves the repetitious!
That’s why he made so many of,
That’s why he made so many of,
That’s why he made so many OF us! — us, us, us.
93028-53
The dumb are always given a choice.
93028 54
City artists – (paid by the hour and the pound) — refuse to clean up after themselves; Real thinkers won’t pick-up after anybody.
Interrogatory: If you “don’t understand “something,
Does that mean that: “You do not understand it” — or WHAT?!
Maxim In Retaliation: Busy minds have no time to reflect on blank walls!
Return Of Interrogation: On these kinds of picnics —
Do you have to bring your own blank-wall?
93028-55
The Uncivilized: Men who play with their food.
The Religious: Men who play with their fears.
The Philosophical: Men who play with the limits of logic.
Tomorrow: That which asks Independent Thinkers: “Wanna come out and play?”
93028-56
In, “Local Leaders School”, life ofttimes instructs graduates:
“If it turns out you can’t dance — take shots at those who can.”
Now this, from our big book of, “Ingrown Toe-Tales”:
Once upon a time – in a land far, far away,
All of the rebels disappeared,
And all of the tyrants cried out: “Now what will we do?!”
* A meaningful story that you can’t, “take-and-run-with” — will take and run with YOU. *
93028-57
A little item from our, “In-House Hot Line”:
The news is so heavy that it usually takes more than one person to carry it..
93028-58
Definition as regards the news;
Current Events: History for people too busy to read.
93028-59
As he began to have moments of being able to almost “think for himself,” one man wondered: “Did man concoct legends and myths to cover up for his ignorance? —
or to help bury what he already knew — but didn’t like?!”
93028-60
Only faithful citizens of the civilized wars will continue to complain –even after down and dead.
Question:
How might you be able to spot a thinker: He might be the one to “shut-up” first.
…(I might be sorry I asked.)
93028-61
Men profess a great interest in the weather
since that is one area that they CLEARLY cannot affect…or predict or understand.
Curious, Cumulus Myth:
It is said that just a few hours before man first began to speak that a wagon went through this part of reality with a box in back that held time.
Which are you? — What do you say? —
Which makes life more interesting — The certain or the uncertain?
93028-62
To think of age is TO age.
93028-63
At the, “Greyhound Track Of Life,”
There are those who believe that man is better than he is,
And those who believe he is worse;
And when they go to the Pay Off Window to collect their winnings,
Neither group has dog shit coming to them.
In response to numerous and continuing complaints in this regard, The State Gaming Commission issued a statement
Telling everyone to “Go to hell.”
The preceding items were brought to you courtesy of our, “Hard But Fair Desk” —
Previously known as the: “Hard But Most Likely UNFAIR Desk.”
93028-64
Our, News Quote of The Day:
“Well sure!” says one man,
“Any time you compare ‘man-with-man’ he’s gonna come out looking the worse for it.”
93028-65
An active mind knows of only one obscenity.
93028 66
One man says:
“When it comes to a question of which is the more important:
My earache,
Or a widespread, tropical storm — there IS no question!”
And this is why man-is-man, and can think, speak, dream and build, ,
While a typhoon is just a big disturbance that can only blow hard and destroy.
93028-67
The weak and near-sighted rebuke man’s “egotism” while riding on its back, and finding safe shelter therein.
93028-68
Civilization has historically made men feel masturbation condemnable — lest such solitary habits spread upward.
93028-69
If any of the herd creatures ever did happen to look over this way,
They might see an independent thinker as being suicidal — but without the, “sui,” or the “cidal.”
93028-70
Amongst real thinkers —there is no “rutting season” for the mind.
Definition:
Education Amongst the Civilized: The attempt to gloss over — THEIR brief “rutting season.”
93028-71
The common are always forgiven — yet also made to believe they never are.
53028-72
The human intellect and its continual expansion
Could be seen as a private version of the Sisyphus tale -wherein the three parts of: Sisyphus,
The stone,
And the hill
Are all played by the mind.
93028-73
Pretension done unwillfully — doesn’t count. (Sorry).
93028-74
The common survive by strength of numbers, the exceptional, by individuality.
9302 8 – 75
Humans are the only creatures who can “have fun” — both with their clothes off, AND on.
93028 -76
Ordinary consciousness: Thinking with no sense of rhythm.
93028 -77
One man defines civilization as: The attempt to die before you live.
93028-78
If you don’t have alien creatures in your brain, you’re not a true thinker.
…If you do — and tell somebody–you just blew it!
93028-79
If you think common, you are common.
93028-80
Definitions:
Humor: The quick attempt to sip a bit from a new cup without getting any of it on you.
Real Thinker: Someone who doesn’t care whether any spills on him or not.
93028-81
When it comes to, “Definitions” — life, wrote-the-book! —
— Thing is — it forgot to label it, “Joke Book.”
93028-82
Ordinary minds can make the discrete and disjointed appear orderly and sequential — — An independent one can do this AND MORE.
93028-83
There is only one imponderable and a real thinker hasn’t thought of it yet.
93028 -84
The term: “Criminal with no criminal intent.”
Confounds and denies all reason —
— So does the phrase: “Independent thinker” — so what?
93028-85
The mind knows more than it tells.
93028-86
A Real Thinker: One who—although drowning—would prefer to do so rather than to call to the collective for assistance.
93028-87
Independent thinking needs no verification.
Extraterrestrial Corollary: Such thinking that has been so verified, has been destroyed.
93028-88
While it’s true that you can’t escape a captivity you’re not aware of,
Life’s taken care of that by making men believe that THEY are the terms-of-confinement.
Sixty years of struggling to: “Know Thyself” can certainly keep a man from looking over this way.
93028-89
Fable Feature:
And the day eventually came, when the fish grew so smart,
That they began to bang their cups on the water and shout: “Let us out of here!”
93028-90
When he was exhorted not to, “Fight the inevitable!”
One man thought: “What then would I do for a worthy opponent?!”