Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93024 -1093
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The way you can tell the difference between an Infortainment
show and a news broadcast is that the news doesn’t use profanity.
Everybody can suddenly “think independently” — just before
they’re executed — talk about your time saver!
First, was history — then books of history — so that the
seamlessness of life could be cut up into discrete parts and
chapters. Correction: First, was actually genes (then all this
One man decided to start his own “Let’s Be Dumb” club —
but was afraid that if he let anyone else in he wouldn’t get
Item: The Way Life Sometimes Tells “Friends From Foe” —
wait, never mind all that — A Tip: Never be “the-rider-on-the-
pale-horse” is you’re an albino.
The civilized tend to be sensitive; the sensitive tend to be
touchy, and the touchy tend to be vacuous, and are generally
pretty civilized. So! — all-in-all, a fairly decent show all
Some hormones asked some neurons: “When you’re talking, why
do you make me wave the hands around”? And the neurons replied:
“We were just gonna ask you that”!
As his neighborhood began to change, one man wanted to put
his mind into storage, indefinitely.
Thought too long left on the local tends to run to whining
and myopia. And yes, the gods do still love the near-sighted —
someone must see to community affairs.
Out amongst the collective, when a man’s thinking gets weak,
there’s this inclination to suddenly begin telling others just
how great it is to think.
On the first day of class, the professor asked: “Is
everyone here”? And they all replied: “Baaa-a-a.”
…..Item: You can teach sheep — but not men. This is why you
find so few thinkers as public instructors.
Making mistakes is easy — admitting to them, equally so —
ever realizing what they are — another matter entirely.
One man waited as long as he could … then decided to wait
a bit longer.
…..Those who like to say: “It ain’t over ’til it’s over,” have
no idea when it’ll be over.
Corollary To Earlier News Item: If you’re sick — you made
Philosophers — and now “psyche doctors” — continue to
ponder the proper boundaries — (if any) — between “mind and
body.” Up-to-the-minute-query: Where the hell do all of these
mental slugs keep coming from?! …(That’s just a joke, son — I
add that just in case you didn’t find that immediately amusing.
…[Careful now — don’t be stepping in your own slime!])
An example of the sort of advice the perfunctorily civilized
might pass along to their young: “Join a discount-book-club —
but don’t skimp on toilet paper.”
The joy of hugs to hormones make neurons wanna say: “Why
can’t we have something like that”?!
Field Guide & Spotter’s Handbook To The Collective: They
can often be heard bragging about not knowing what goes on in
their own mind.
There are several distinct ways that different men react to
a confrontation with ignorance: Some call it god, some call it
science, some call it art — and a real thinker says: “Hey, I’ll
call you next time I’m in town. Ta ta.”
The way in which the normal news is transmitted and received
by the mind requires there be a momentary dead space between
commercials and the actual news so that viewers can make the
When your art sucks — offer to discuss it. …(works every
A thinker lives on a two way street — everybody’s “two way
When “the alarm goes off” — men check their doors, cows
come in from the fields, and dogs begin to drool, three
variations on a common theme.
Collective ideas: Comfort food for the mind.
One man’s little observation: “On the weekends — everyone
dies just a little more.” — “That is,” adds he, “if they know
how to do weekends right”!
The wisdom is not in the words — but in what is known. A
simple fact that simple minds escape.
Now this story from our department of: “Never Underestimate
The Importance Of Words, Anatomy, Or The Arts, And Especially So,
Regarding Their Combined Effects”: One man could only watch in
ever-deepening horror his promising musical career crumble, right
before his very eyes as he grew increasingly unable to tell the
difference between a clavier and his clavicle. And remember —
you’ve already heard here from “Your friends in the news room”
that: “Many things ofttimes will shed new light on many other
things — maybe.”
When sheep can’t find “Down” escalators — they’ll settle
for level ground.
And from our Religious Desk: “The gods take men with little
bitty minds and put them in charge of…” — we interrupt right
here to note that none of this is true — now back to wherever
Hormones seem to get some people down — but never, neurons.
Yes, I know — many believe otherwise, but they are like drivers
with chattering valve lifters complaining about poor radio
To keep from having to think about their mental condition,
the dense like to speak about — morality, emotions, and “things-
Men: Energy that can talk.
Compared to the collective’s publicly traded, intellectual
corporations, an independent mind is like a “privately-held”
company, that does not have to report on its activities.
Related Medical Update to an earlier news item: Taking your
hormones to “be your own” is a prime cause of illness.
The herd’s “common sense” is to “individual thinking” as cow
patties are to crepes. …(More exact yet — make that: “As
bullshit is to bullshit,” — since cows have never heard of
“thinking” to begin with, and thus have no meaningful frame of
reference or basis for comparison.)
One man thought: “If my brain could give me as much
pleasure as my whang — even I would become a thinker.”
The civilized covers whispered to the stirring sleeper:
“It’s the early bird that catches the cold.” It is the unusually
dense who denounce civilization and conformity — when it is such
that permits their unimpeded denseness to pass for a life.
Rebels, smart enough to know what they’re doing, seldom say:
“Oh, Yoo-hoo! — I’m a rebel.”
Making light of historical figures is a harmless sport —
since they’d do the same to you — if they could.
Those with no talent — and upset by it — have a choice:
They can either: Become serious — or, go into politics —
…(or, [all-the-worse-for-the-rest-of-us] — do both!)
One man so informed his family and parts: “We’re all on a
‘mission-for-god’! — And yours, should you decide to accept it,
is to die and rot-up-a-storm”!
A thinker is like a man on a train — by himself — but too
late does he realize it to do anything about it. …(Come on-n-n
news hounds — it could be just another joke!)
Sheep have flocks — men have institutions.
The city instructs: “No morals — no mind.” …neat, huh?!
Mature Viewer’s Insight & Editorial: The older you get the
more it seems that the collective’s intelligence is going awry,
and perhaps even turning on you. Tip To The Alert “Mature”:
For even an ephemeral assembly to hold together long enough
to function — it must have a rhythm.
Once neurons could talk good, and after they’d seen what
great acrobats hormones were, they decided to join forces and
start an act: They named it, “man.”
You’re not acceptably dense if you think you might be.
Hobbies (especially the “collector” type) — are to men
mentally like “putting a lock on the back door of your maze.”
…(Sort of like “Scheduled” sports events for the old noodle.)
While reflecting one day, and looking back on some of the
choices and decisions he’d made, one man thought: “I guess I
really fucked up my life.” But suddenly smiled as he looked
around at everybody else and thought: “Yeah-h-h — but so have
Another of the few, true impossibilities of this reality:
The emotions can’t count to just one — do you begin to
comprehend what this ultimately means to the mind?!
The functional illusion is that: A thousand men with I.Q.’s
of fifty each may come together and collectively have one of
fifty thousand. It is the mentally phlegmatic who hold illusion
in low regard. — Some amongst the more civilized make poor
audience members for a magic act. — Okay, Plain Put: The dumb
don’t like to be fooled! …whenever they can catch you at it.
Even if you no longer think of the collective as “your
friend,” you sure as hell don’t want them as your enemy.
Hormones have no word for tolerant — and the word is about
all neurons do have.
After examining his mental operations carefully, several
mornings in a row, he looked in the mirror at his reflection,
wearing a white, medical coat and said; “No more tissue samples
— I’ve seen quite enough.”
On most days, the religious don’t like the news; the
scientific find it too inexact, and the poetic want to analyze
it. The sound you just perhaps heard in the background was that
of eighty-four thinkers breaking the tuning knobs off of their
Herd artists attempt to shock and plunder — while a neural
one would try to inform.
Tip, how to tell: If they hang you — you’re herd.
Things are related that a real thinker thinks are. (This is
also true with ordinary thinkers — but in their case it doesn’t
The truly civilized can spit directly in your face while
simultaneously pointing to the person next to them, and almost
make you believe they did do it. (Neurons sure can be dumb
One man kept careful track of stuff — he said it’s either
that — or the other-way-around.
Most people aren’t satisfied to simply see what’s going on
— they’ll still say: “Ahh, get the band to play another
One man said: “Cows can’t dance, and your mama can’t rock
and roll,” — but he was wrong!
One way to tell that you’re getting abnormally — no, make
that, unusually — no, let’s make it, extremely — yes!: One way
to tell that you’re getting extremely civilized is that you begin
to find routine illnesses so boring that you no want them
treated by a psychiatrist.
…..Remember: It was the civilized who came up with the
derisive description regarding men “not knowing their butts
from their brains.”…Think about it: The most sophisticated
and educated were the ones who first gave voice to this concept!
…Yes, I understand that you could say: “But what could be
more just and expected than that?! — They are the very ones
properly to take such notice!” — Yes indeed I understand —
but, think on it just a wee bit more, and see if it makes all that
much sense — just a little further down the road.
Since men can live nicely without knowing what goes on in
their mind — what further proof is needed that they do not think
to the fullest extent possible.
Life uses two tricks: It keeps sheep in the dark! — Yes,
you heard me right! — but that is two tricks.
Vicious Viewer’s Possibility: Those who don’t like the news
should start their own! Due to the nasty turn things were
taking, the court forbade one man to have any further
communication with himself.
Why do some men get so upset about other men “putting Band-
Aids on cancers”?! — what do they think is the purpose of
collective thinking — I mean, medicine.
Only Certified intellectuals are impressed with the process
of certification. Would you expect that those who built the
sodium airfields would let any but saline planes land?! Non
verbal creatures possess an awareness of themselves sufficient
that they need make no comment.
And from our Sports Desk: Hunter’s Tip: Complicated ideas
fascinate simple minds.
Only the wishful would attempt to tell sheep about matters
they do not consider bovid. In one never-never-land, on their
passports, independent thinkers have stamped the word “Wishful.”
A thinker has no enemies, or allies — only fellow thinkers.
From our “Health Watch” desk: Everyone alive is well —
everyone dead, not. From the first chapter of “The Collective’s
Handbook Of Bedside Manners”: “Never be plain and direct.”
One man said: “Life was easier before I could think.” And
life said: “How would you know.” You know — based on reports
like this one — life sure could be a smart-ass — but you’ve got
to remember that all this is just made up — …”And thank god
for that!” (said one man, at life’s prodding.)
…..News Rumor Of The Night: Life used to “talk” to man —
’til it realized how dumb he was.
For the herd not to trip, there must be a rhythm; for the
collective not fall — shared beliefs.
The “news” is self-fueling intellectual energy — analogous
to “mind-sweat” to the brain. Similitude: Without the news —
there is no “news.”
A man can’t be taught to think about dancing — he’s already
had a lifetime of twirling about with himself.
Pretending to be deeply interested in the process of
thinking is another way to keep from it. Tonight’s Educational
A murderous man with a gun is no thinker — but he can shoot
one! Tonight’s Biological Update.
An independent mind looking upon human life ia kinda like a
logger who’s fallen into a puppeteers’ convention. Tonight’s
In times of trouble, while the body can be warmly wrapped
and tucked away, the mind is left to swing naked in the
wind …at least, so it seems.
…..The mind thinks: “It is not the dying, but the knowing of
it.” — And tomorrow says: “I never arrive because you think of
…..The dead know something we don’t.
The body: A mountain top; the brain: A telescope thereon;
the mind: The attempt to send the telescope into space.
Intellectually speaking: Sheep don’t want to be saved —
they want to be sheared. “Honey, come over here and help me; my
brain’s all woolly again, and itchin'”! Tonight’s Textile
A mind that can think — never retreats…unless it wants to
stop thinking. Publisher’s Parity: Only the blind retract.
Men eventually got so-o-o sick of animals and insects that
they made up the concept of flowers and plants. …If you can
understand — even just “come-to-reasonable-grips-with” news
items such as the above — your middle name may turn out to be,
“Promising” after all.
Trying to make “new thinking” fit into some sort of pattern
is to make it “old thinking.”
Now, from our, Animal Analogy desk: An independent thinker
is like a cat among dogs.
Complacency: A thinker’s only form of suicide.
A metaphor that can begin to speak for itself can learn
to sing; and a metaphor that can sing can learn to dance; and a
metaphor that can dance can be taught to fly, and can fly-the-
hell-outta-here and leave its point-blank droppings behind for
the alert to ponder.
One man put stuff in his brain to excite it …and no, it
Metaphors that must be explained are wings with broken
A real thinker needs no confirmation.
Lovers will caress a cheek but leave the mind untouched.
Minds look at bodies and think: “Why?”; bodies look at
minds and say nothing.