Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93023 -1092
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The News
93023– 1
First, this ad:
“How To Be a Ventriloquist” – instructional book, $19:95;
Free! “How To Be A Ventriloquist’s Dummy’ — Be Alive.”
Now — on to the news!
93023- 2
The critics who complain that professional wrestling is “fake”
would probably want to say the same thing — if they ever got a good look at life.
93023- 3
Yes,
You can stay home and sulk in your room,
But it’s just as easy to-do it outside — in your own mind.
93023- 4
The greatest conspiracy possible to perpetrate on man
Would be to make him think he was smart enough to uncover one if it existed.
93023- 5
Men taking the measure of other men is like the Hormel Brothers judging a pig beauty contest
93023- 6
Some cerebral cells surveyed the scope of life and sighed:
What an enormity
Must fit conformity.
93 0 2 3-7
And now this news item,
Which relates to, “How feedback works within a system.” –(or perhaps it doesn’t):
One man says that in an earlier life he was Miles Davis —
and as a matter of fact — in the one that Miles just got through with;
“If true”, says the man’s widow, “That would explain a lot regarding my
husband’s behavior in his later years – AND about Miles’ playing in the eighties.”
Yes,
As all — yes, all of us here in the news room really, really like to say:
“Many things often shed new light on many other things (sometimes).”
93023- 8
Local thought is comforting thought.
93023– 9
As sluggishness is bovine behavior proper in cows, and submissiveness, bovid, in sheep,
so are they both apparently acceptable in man.
93023-10
The health and demands of the collective are such that retreat is impossible -Many individuals sense this and are thus content to stay where they are.
93023-11
“An artist who enjoys the money from the sales of his work more than he does the creation of his work — is no true artist.”
The preceding item was sent to us by a broke artist.
93023-12
The ordinary think upon knowledge as being something to be pursued and captured,
so as to help replace certain ignorance they now harbor;
which is not unlike men who’ve gained weight and begin wearing suspenders
so as to be able to explain why their pants will stay up now without a belt,
rather than having to take note of the increased girth about their waist.
93023-13
The reason that the ordinary must generally take life so seriously is because of the alternative.
93023-14
Shared beliefs: The “intellectual” rhythm of the collective.
93023-15
Part of the attractiveness of booze, drugs, religion, and other secular belief systems is that they affordably allow those with 20/60 vision
to sharpen it on down to perhaps, 20/80,,,even, 20/100.
93023-16
And now for today’s scores:
..(The truth is that they are SO close to yesterday’s, while yet so far removed,
that you can hardly tell the difference whether I actually give them to you or not.)
So that wraps up, “Today’s scores.”
93023-17
Verse Riddled Instructional Aid For The Collective-Minded Mind:
To the bosom of the frock
should rush thee sooner,
for ’tis the early sheep that
Gets the tumor.
…(Well, you-know-what-I-Mean — the BEST tumor.)
93023-18
One man told his family, friends,
and other parts of his anatomy:
“Just because I haven’t called you in years — you shouldn’t take it personally.”
93023-19
A, “Go Figure” for a Monday:
Men with a low regard for themselves intellectually
are the ones most likely to want you to think highly of the gods.
93023-20
One “intellectual-wanna-be” —
(After being vigorously “dressed-down” by a civilian for something he’d said [Though why a would-be thinker would ever be saying anything sufficiently serious to anyone to be so rebuffed is a puzzle?! But let’s not let mere facts get in the way of an otherwise good story]) —
So after having the propriety of his comments so questioned, the man walked away thinking: “Well, I may be, ‘full-of-shit,’ but at least it is my own personal shit!”
93023-21
It is difficult to keep the rhythm of the collective from becoming your rhythm —
— unless you have a plan —
— and a band —
of your own.
93023-22
Conflicts without memories are not human conflicts.
In his writings, one man would underline certain words, which he would randomly select. He says it’s either that, or run the risk of coming back as Sid Vicious.
93023-23
To become civilized is to give up individual variety for an apparent collective version.
Thus, concludes tonight’s segment of, “Fat Chance, Frankie.”
93023-24
One man tried to make it a point to always wave back at his own brain waves.
(He feared that if he didn’t, he might come back again as himself.)
93023-25
Having extreme, deep-rooted, personal problems proves little —
Other than that you have a deep-rooted personal…of some kind or the other.
To be-alive-AND dumb, is to wish you were dead. . . . even if you don’t actually wish it.
93023-26
Home Pregnancy Test:
You may be positive that you are “with collective”
And that your belly is filled with growing ordinariness,
if you’re still blaming people for simply being human.
93023-.27
When it comes to both art and to thinking,
You can’t “go with your instincts” if you have none.
93023-28
Some say that the original model for “sibling rivalry”
Came from neurons trying to match hormones’ sense of rhythm.
(Okay, I said it.)
Someone composed this poem:
Those who write the news
can slight the news:,
and those who make-it,
can escape it.
93023-29
One man leapt about and cried out: “I want a hint! — I want a hint!” —
Then the atmospherical conditions made him breathe, and he said: “I got it! — I got it!”
93023-30
Progress Update: Instead of a mind, one man has a pie-chart.
93023-31
Economists say that in, a sense,
when a bank makes a loan it “creates new money.”
Which it obviously does not — and yet the description is apt.
This could also be applied to how man’s collective intellectual progress proceeds.
93023 -3 2
Then ask yourself this:
“Just how often does a totally new possibility accidentally land on a passer-by?!”
93023 33
One man sends this word:
“Inside their brains everyone has another set of brains….well…maybe not you…. …I guess I shouldn’t’ve mentioned it.”
A man who will take measurements personally will eventually also do so regarding
humor, and criticism.
Parting footnote: People who actually have their own personal aren’t so touchy about it.
93023-34
Seriousness is the spikes embedded at the entrance to the mind,
over which,
if you attempt to back-up,
severe damage may result.
93023-35
And yet another exercise of how men can be divided up into two groups:
In this instance: Those who continue to hide stuff under the edge of their rugs, and those who continually look under everything to see if there is still something they haven’t uncovered.
93023-36
The human intellect: A voice crying out in the wilderness.
Man’s brain: The wilderness.
93023-37
Castles in the air: Man’s intellectual world.
Man’s mind: The air, (of course!)
Fact: All definitions have an unacknowledged brother or sister.
93023-38
A man looked out at his yard and said: “The trouble with trees is all the leaves.” And some leaves looked at the house and said: “What’s HAPPENED to this neighborhood?!”
93023-39
Another one of those, “Well, SURE! — Just Ruin It For EVERYBODY” tips:
Personal problems aren’t quite as bad if you don’t take them personally.
93023-40
Galloping Update:
Humanity is the only herd that can run shoulder-to-shoulder
not only “thousands of miles apart” — but thousands of years as well.
93023-41
Men with a complex deserve a complex.
As always: Mental aberrations are just an excuse to keep from being normal,
and later perhaps, even having to — think for oneself!
93023-42
Life will obviously allow a certain number of
thieves, knaves, and the deranged in the barnyard,
but there remains no visible Welcome Mat out for you-know-who.
P.S. – quickly-for-god’s-sake:
And all the little, “you-know-whos” wrung their little hands and cried.
Straight-Up P.S.: Hey – if you are one of the “you-know-whos,”
you know damn well they’ve never done such a thing.
Definition:
An independent thinker: An extraordinary souffle that as soon as it says:
“Hey – I’m an extraordinary souffle!” — falls!.
93023-43
Self-pity: Suicide for the cowardly.
And as long as we’re on this side of town:
Righteous indignation: Murder for the cowardly.
93023-44
Some fairly every-day cells — (in conjunction with their host) — said:
“Let’s get together and be SO-0-0 offensive that others will take it for talent!”
93023-45
One man wrote a series of interconnected books, each more successful than its predecessor; Their titles, in sequence of appearance were:
“Man Against Himself.” –
“Man Against His Family.” —
“Man Against Reality.” —
“Man Against Everybody Else.
And finally:
“Man Against Himself Again — Just Like It Should Be, Dammit.”
93023-46
A man’s own little backyard
Can be like the whole universe! —
— If he’ll settle for a metaphor rather than getting a larger plot of land.
93023-47
Job Seeker’s Tip:
The local, meaningful gods have NEVER hired a silly spokesman.
93023-48
Imitation: The sincerest form of bovine originality.
93023-49
In private one man reflected:
The only thing bad about increasingly thinking independently is that there are fewer and fewer people to ridicule and scorn and I’m already hard up enough for a hobby as it is.”
93023-50
A mind truly engaged in individual matters cannot simultaneously be hostile.
* Only the dense get mentally pissed. *
(P.S.: Yeah — but that’s how it’s s’posed to be — ain’t it?!,)
93023-51
The reality of hormones will not necessarily — keen the neurons from believing otherwise.
93023-52
In trying times between individuals — the rhythm falters.
93023 -53
Systems find it easier to shrink, expand, or change almost any part of their present operations than to enter a whole new area of activity.
— Same is true for man’s thinking.
Thus, the conservatism of institutions can be seen as an exercise in good health and responsible management.
— Same is so for man’s ordinary mental processes.
Under routine conditions,
growth and change are not necessarily synonymous or even compatible.
Growth requires conformity, change, too often — variety.
93023-54
The sign read:
“Do Not Disturb The Sheep.”
93023 5 5
Giving the unprepared their own mind
would be like giving a philistine his favorite non-commercial radio station. — The first thing he’d want to do is start selling spots.
93023 -56
The battle cry of “The Dammed-to-Hell, Right-Over-The Edge Brigade”:
‘Perhaps’ SUCKS!”
Statistical Update:
There will be more language instructors in Paradise than physics professors — So say the grammarians and rhetoricians, one and bloody all.
A system that will not protect itself is a system unworthy of note. (Note how worthy of note is the routine human intellect).
* “Gimme an S,
Ginnie a U,
Ginnie a C, K, S!”*
93023-57
There is not only the, madness-of-mobs,
But also the intellectual counterpart of the, sanity-of-the-collective.
93023-58
Those who can’t think, forever dream of, “thinking machines,”
once, in the guise of gods—now increasingly in the actual form of machines.
Attempting to join in the “spirit of the times,”
one man said he would be agreeable to trading in his old mind
on one of those new re-recordable CD players.
And smiling down upon the people, the Digital Prophet intoned: “The gods still love a cheerful consumer, and a silly twit.”
93023 -59
“Righteous conviction is like routine certainty
but with additional hobnails in the shoes — turned inward!
93023-60
Those who eventually know-what-they’re-doing, and where-they-want-to-go-from-here,
will no longer settle for a mere unlisted number – or a name change,
but will instead, get an unlisted name.
Remember: Neither the chocolate covered philistines, nor the cotton candy spooks
can kill you if you won’t answer when called.
Remember Number Two: The dumb always answer when called —
— That’s how they came by their sterling reputation.
Remember Number Three: Is this a joke or something?
Last In This Series Of “Remembers”: You misspeak to say: “Is this a joke, or something?!”
In that there is no related substitute, or associate to a real joke.
93023-61.
Perforce of course: The universal — the fount of all variety;
The local — the mother of all conformity.
93023-62
One man’s combined take on certain matters:
“Yes, it is certainly one’s hormones that’ll motivate you to the chiropractor, but it is then the spiritual neurons that’ll make you want to grab him and cry out: ‘Bless me Father for I have sinned’.”
93023-63
One word can start as much action as a hundred and one.
Another: Thinker’s Tip.
93023-64
TO ordinary minds, aging excuses everything — to a real thinker, naught.
(P.S.: Aging DOES actually excuse everything.)
Thus concludes another excerpt from our files of:
“P.S.’s That Though Possibly Factual Are, Nonetheless, Unacceptable.”
93023-65
Sincerity only means anything – I mean, REALLY means anything — among sheep! …..(Well, just look at those big old sad brown eyes!)
93023 66
Harsh—and I do really men, harsh—follow-up:
A sincere man is a dead man — just waitin’ to fall.
93023 67
The more directly is a point-blank-wall seen, the less need there be for any sort of analysis.
Thus-it-be,
That fairway treat — Yes, step right up Ladies and Gents, and bear witness:
A “thinking” thinker is one who never says.
And the Pincushion Man asked the Lizard skinned Woman:
“Doest thou imagine it unseemly to wonder whether a real thinker talks to himself or not?”
93023-68
A sure sign that you’re among the civilized is that when a “famous” person is introduced
it is always mentioned how famous he is.
93023-69
The reason men can’t seem to uncover any, “real” art is because none exists.
930 23 -70
There is no doubt –(if you can understand the description aright) that in a sense, a would-be, independent thinker is attempting to lose his mind without going insane.
To go forth —
Sail away —
Explore and land in the land of Individuality
While leaving the mind born of the collective behind, abandoned, and forgotten.
93023 -71
Religion: The opportunity for men to beat up one another without actually striking blows. Philosophy: A more genteel version of the above.
93023 -7 2
Only the most solidly mundane
find it normal, acceptable, and not a stimulus to further inquiry,
that men have questions for which they apparently can never have answers.
* What a ripped, Whoopie Cushion to a multi-colored mind. *
93023-73
Ordinary consciousness: This planet’s sole activity
in which a creature can write to itself, then have the letter returned for: “Lack of Sufficient Address,” and the sender not be one whit surprised.
93023 – 74
When attacked for something they’d said,
many men will defend themselves by claiming the comments under fire were “taken out of context” A real thinker could never maintain such an argument
In that everything he thinks is totally in context! —
— So much so in fact, that he generally wouldn’t be heard enough to ever be attacked.
93023-75
The belief that there is a qualitative distinction between knowledge & ignorance, and especially so even further — between valid-knowledge & faulty-info, is yet another method life utilizes to keep men from,
thinking too much —
— all at once —
— in a single lifetime.
93023 -76
By life providing man with verbal intelligence
It has allowed him to try and make a jig saw puzzle out of a goulash.
9 3 0 2 3 -77
In addition to the sexual seemliness of the physical body,
there is the unique, more oblique beauty of being an intellectual individual.
93023 78
Only sheep need heroes.
93023 -79
One man notes:
“Those who believe that some form of torture may await them after death, I reckon just ain’t suffered enough in life to suit them.”
93023-80
It is possible that an independent thinker might not be particularly interested in the every-day affairs of others since it is possible that he’s not very interested in his own.
93023-81
All great collective holidays are the continuing attempt to bury something.
93023-82
DNA Update:
All children should be slapped around real good until they see the light — and if you don’t have any — don’t get any.
93023-83
Locally,
Life has allowed men to maintain dreams of “mystical enlightenment,” and “magical awakenings” so that not too many of them would actually try to think ahead,
News Editor’s Explanatory Footnote:
“Think ahead” in the above context
is not used in the sense of merely “planning ahead” regarding the everyday physical affairs of life, but rather points toward an effort to move one’s individual thinking into the overall tomorrow of man;
an exercise to bring the future into one’s own intellectual “now.”
93023-84
People with talent in the city don’t need any additional bad news.
93023-85
Collective intelligence: The “choke hold” life locally employs to subdue all suspects.
93023-86
Local truth and reality is for the benefit of the stock;
The rancher is supposed to look further — out toward the universal.
93023-87
The merchants-of-doom sell the ordinary tomorrow.
93023-88
Some cells once thought:
“There’s nothing bad about dying as long as you don’t know it’s coming.” Then they became men and had no choice.
93023-89
Any possible blueprint that can be described for life is not it.
93023-90
Life protects its own, who else does it have?
93023-91
Independent thought has its own rhythm.
93023 -92
Genes know all, but are wont to reveal little to the loose of lip.
93023-93
Only independent thinkers can have new ideas that are their own.
93023-94
A well that has a bottom is not much of a well — same with a mind.
93023 -95
There is nothing absolutely certain in the universe, save one:
And that is that tomorrow a thinker will get up, and will think some more.
93023-96
Those who can’t dance — can’t think.–