Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93019 -1088
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The News
93019-1
The incompetent never truly care — how can they?!
93019- 2
Glancing up at some of his old familiar, “can’t-we-still-be-of-some-assistance” thoughts hanging around his head,
This one man made a brushing-away motion with his hand and told them: “Don’t hover!”
The “news-of-the-world” and the “history-of-man,” thus far, are the same size as your mind.
93019-4
One thoughtful cow reflected:
“You know,
It doesn’t matter whether it’s just rained or not —
If you lie in the dirt, you’ll eventually lie in the mud.”
93019- 5
Men who don’t know the distance are always wanting to measure the distance.
93019-6
Collective Belief Systems: Yardsticks with runny markings.
93019- 7
In the spotlight: The dumber the man, the more he tends to swell-up.
93019-8
Taken as a whole: Humanity constitutes a great civilization — but a lousy thinker.
Why does it seem so much easier for the conservatives in life
To make fun of the liberals than vice versa?
Answer: Because only today can scoff at tomorrow — not the other way around.
93019-10
Sports Up-date: No one’s winning — no one’s losing.
93019 – 11
Odds-makers Up-date: Don’t you BET on it!
93019-12
Cows cannot LIVE in a herd without somehow, at times, offending other cows,
but cows don’t know this—- only man.
(Reminder: “Those planning to eventually die don’t owe anybody ANY thing”.)
* Only herds run up debts. *
“Okay, all you individuals and individual-neurons — keep away from each-other unless you really mean-it and know how to ultimately get yourselves BACK untangled again!”
93019 – 13
One man said:
“You know – just me and my brain — we get along pretty well together, but it’s my hormones that’re driving me crazy!”
And they said: “We didn’t start it!”
when all concerned knew otherwise.
93019-14
In the cultures-of-the-collective,
there is no more difference between “art” and “bad art,” than there is between knowledge and ignorance.
One man lied and told his friends that he’d “met god” —
(He’d REALLY met himself — but he knew they’d never believe THAT!)
93019-16
One man put some ornaments on his blank wall,
And life liked it so much that it made EVERYBODY become civilized.
93019 -17
A Method You Can Do Using Your Own Mind:
While life is engaged in its normal, lumbering walk from foot-to-foot – make a surprise move.
93019 – 18
One man pondered:
“Which is the most fun to think about? — natural things or man-made stuff?
93019-19
If the game wasn’t so serious it’d be funny;
If it wasn’t so deadly it’d be serious!
And if it wasn’t so funny it’d be deadly!
…(And, around like that.)
93019 -20
A man should have as many pairs of socks as he has unanswered questions.
93019-21
The difference between humor and atomic physics is that humor makes sense.
93019-22
The collective wisdom of man,
As reflected in proverbs, and the like,
Is ipse dixitly accepted to offer beneficial guidelines for the life of the individual …Which is all well and good if you plan to spend the rest of your life in the collective.
* ‘Tis a cold-day-in Dixie when Trailways passes out Greyhound schedules.
93019 23
The dense don’t like to be insulted! — No, I’m serious! — they really don’t like it!
On this one planet they had an annual worldwide holiday
at which time everyone would send everyone else a card that said:
“Fuck you! Love you madly! Fuck you until next time — Love.”
93019-24
The core of one man’s mind looked around at the rest of its inter-cranial compatriots,
And mused:
“Well, I may simply BE a ‘big-fish-in-a-small-pond,’
but at least it’s MY pond!”
93019 -25
If you try and seriously “keep score” you’ll come out behind for sure.
Refresher: Those who will seriously tell you why they “did what they did” — still don’t know.
Reminder: A real thinker does know this is aimed at his Operations Center, and not someone else’s.
Words: Ornaments.
93019-28
Bandstand Tip:
Hormones play the drums in everyone’s band,
and if you don’t soon put the intellect in charge of the vocals and calling the tunes, you’re liable to be in for one of the LONGEST-T-T sets ever experienced by man!
93019 -29
Just as the comely are nude, and the ugly naked,
Likewise, are the strong, “momentarily at an intellectual loss,” and the weak, merely stupid.
Some cattle SAY they’d like to be IN power,
but most settle for being part of the impotent, opposition party.
93019-30
Drugs: A cheap way out of town.
Religion & Other Human Institutions: Even cheaper and legal.
One man’s wall told him:
“If you don’t know where the emphasis goes it doesn’t go anywhere.”
93019 -31
Morality: Valium-lubed condoms.
93019-32
Man and nature,
Nature and man;
What a pair,
Aren’t they great — I mean, grand.
Economic forecasting is to weather forecasting as fashion designers are to racetrack tipsters.
93019-33
One man who could actually think for himself one day pondered:
“What if there was an actual distinction between the ‘natural world’ and the man-made one?
93019-34
Civilization only works if everybody involved pretends that it does.
93019 -35
One man decided to try and get a handle on his anger by compiling a detailed list of the specific things in life that made him mad;
And then,
(may Lord Beaverbrook be granted a reasnable divorce settlement from a duck),
If the list itself didn’t begin to piss the shit out of him.
The galloping hormones of the herd laugh — yes, LAUGH! — at men and their puny lassoes.
. .(Well…they don’t really — but real thinkers do — which is just as good.)
93019-36
Trying to explain life by using man as an example
Is like trying to teach gravity by dropping objects.
(And a chap thinks: “I didn’t get that one the first time ’round.”)
93019
Life is the only subject the mere study of will make you sick—I mean laugh.
93019-38
Late-breaking “Civilization” news update:
Civilization only works if everybody involved pretends that it does — — just like with certainty and stupidity.
93019-39
An eagle has his eyes,
A dog his nose,
And man –(thank god!) — the yellow pages.
93019-40
Just putting a name on something doesn’t make it real! — SURE it does!
930191-41
A Chronology Of Man:
Feel, feel, feel — think, think, think;
Play, play, play – think, think, think;
Shove, shove, shove – think, think, think;
Study, study, study – think, think, think;
Work, work, work – think, think, think;
Age, age, age – think, think, think;
Slack, slack, slack — slack-k-k, slack-k-k, slack-k-k-k-k-k-k-k.
93019-42
Here’s how it works: At first a man is a “blank wall,”
Then after he can speak, a “point blank wall.”
* Being nothing doesn’t “count” — if you can’t count. *
93019-43
In the Creative-World-Of-The-Collective: No man is any better than his last cliche.
93019-44
One man would do almost anything to keep from having to think. One of his favorite tricks was to THINK about thinking.
(Some other times he’d stall by wondering what god or his mama would WANT him to think If they were here.)
93019-45
Conditions are always changing! —
But not fast enough for man! Okay, sometimes TOO fast for man! — Okay! — happy now?
93019-46
The individual’s “collective-based-consciousness” is like a camera aimed at the world. Only problem is that its apparent “raw film” has already been cropped, washed out, AND developed.
A poet-in-the-crowd raised up his voice: “I speak for man —
For I am man;
I am all men — and all men are me.
Thus am I dumb, many times multiplied.”
93019-47
The wisdom of the herd IS the herd’s — the stupidity of a cow, his alone.
93019-48
One man asked himself:
“Once you see what’s WRONG with life — then how do you finally see what’s right?!”
After some period of reflection on this question
he ultimately realized that if you fall-to-the-former, you’ll never rise-to-the-latter.
93019-49
If you’re alive — you should favor life.
If you take into account the “Stupidity Factor,” there are no further factors to be TAKEN into account.
93019 5 1
Modifiers: A putting-off of painting the wall.
93019-52
One man pretended to be happier than he was — and nobody cared;
Another man pretended to be dumber than he was — and nobody noticed;
And still another man pretended to be smarter than he was, and everybody caught him at it and it made them even happier and dumber.
Whenever this one guy would see a skywriting plane spell out the message: “Let This Be A Lesson To You,”
he’d either try to leave town, or else start taking pot shots at the heavens.
Hormones can’t think — but they can make you believe they can!
93019-54
Man began to write things down as soon as he realized what a burden it’d be to have to remember all this crap.
93019-55
One man sometimes thought of himself as a “dumb, limited, son-of-a-bitch”! — but, NEVER so much so as the train that BROUGHT him there.
93019 -5
The big dogs,
in consideration of the smaller,
always watch where they step…
NO, they don’t! —
and that’s why they can live out of doors,
and we have to stay cooped up in these damned old stuffy clothes and civilizations!
93019 -5 7
Man’s brain engine can run on three known potencies of octane. An independent thinker knows of a fourth.
93019-55
Amidst the collective: Art is “anti-social behavior” that is minimally socially acceptable.
93019-59
Hormones can sure as heck, “dig their heels in,” but it’s still thoughts that’ll egg ’em on.
93019-60
To stay on the fresh, (if not extremely SAFE side), one man adopted as his personal motto, these words:
“I have met the enemy, and he is nobody I’ve ever SEEN before!”
93019-61
Life doesn’t care if you undress it as long as you don’t then laugh at it.
— See, that’s a JOKE! — what the hell does life care what you laugh at?
Oh! I’m sorry — I thought everybody got it! —
I didn’t mean to step on your little weeny.
93019-62
If you can sing as you go down in flames you won’t need the butter.
93019-63
Tuning in on their shortwave cuds, and hearing exotic notions like that last one, some cows asked themselves:
“Just what IS the difference between, bravery and stupidity?!”
— (Which is a pret-tee safe line of inquiry for a two-thousand-pound, land-locked, grass-masher.)
93019-64
One man killed all of his children — but don’t feel bad — he didn’t have any to begin with.
93019 -65
To a real thinker:
Examples continue to prove one thing–that examples continue to exist.
* Blank walls need no justification — which is why — (during man’s second round) they must be spoken-of, and thus, justified. *
93019-66
One musician-thinker’s view of collective religion: “This gig’s too short to afford a manager.”
93019-67
The human mind: The ultimate consumer.
93019-68
One man told his own mind:
“As regards your overall approach towards me,
Let’s just now consider that my attitude toward you is like I have opened a dude ranch whose name is:
“Come-Visit-Or-Don’t, But Don’t Bother Calling to Tell Me WHY You Had to Cancel.”
93019 -69
Men have two sets of brains: bovine, and real. Most men only have half the set.
93019-70
A thinker’s final line: “Always leave ’em laughing.”
Life’s final line: “Always leave them dying.”
Compromise conclusion: “Let ’em laugh just as the train’s pulling out.”
Once you realize that people don’t really know anything
then it’s understandable why so many of them seem upset.
93019-72
The life of collective intelligence,
seen from one individual’s life-time,
is like a living thing that’s yet, kind of dead.
93019 -73
That “pounding” that most men hear is the sound of hormones– NOT the intellect knocking at the door.
93019-74
As he got old, one man pretended to get nice.
“Hey! – pretended which one?”
93019-75
Life warned a cow: “Get too slick and I’ll turn you into a poet.”
93019-76
After many years of torture and trickery,
One man’s mind finally up and said:
“Hey — what IS there to think about ANY way?!” And suddenly ITS mind said:
“Hey-y-y! — don’t be talking like that!”
93019-77
Everybody has the final word.
93019 -78
One possible approach in a non-partisan thinker’s arsenal could be found in this axiom: “Don’t get mad — get indifferent.”
93019-79
At the collective level: having friends is like an excuse for not thinking.
93019-80
…(Okay, don’t get all sweaty and tangled-drawered yet!) – Instant Update:
At the collective level: “Having friends is like an excuse for not thinking, “is the same as how individually having a whole bunch of theories & opinions about something is a substitute for point-blank KNOWING about it.
93019-8
Cows don’t WANNA — go it alone.
93019-82
Ecology Update: Man is the air his environment breathes.
93019-83
Fashion Update: Clothes were not originally intended to cover “nakedness” – but stupidity.
93019-84
Show Biz Update: Everybody’s IN it.
93019-85
Traffic Update: Everybody’s going too slow.
93019-86
Arts Update:: What’s the “ARTS”?’
93019-87
Weather forecast: What’s a “FORECAST”?
93019-88
Editorial Update: Just “don’t you worry about it!” — I have my opinions, all right!
93019-89
Health Update: You’re all DYING!
93019-90
One man could sometimes be so stupid that he made himself secretly smile.
…(Well, hey! — everybody deserves a laugh now and then!)
93019 91
There is no such thing as “forbidden knowledge,”
And the prime purpose of the notion is to help obscure the limited amount actually available to ordinary men.
93019-92
Brains believe they’re sitting on a fortune.
93019 -93
Cor-o-lary, O’Hurlihee: Extremely civilized brains believe they’re sitting on dynamite!
93019-94
Why Stop Now: A real thinker’sbrains would prefer to stand.
93019-95
Self-Evident Residential Tip:
When your head gets too small to live in,
you’ve either got to move, or get a bigger head.
93019-96
One guy’s motto was: “Hey! — if it DOES work — name it after ME!
93019-97
A man who can think for himself can actually think enough for several other people as well.
93019-98
Battlefield Update: Our side’s still winning.