Summary = TBD
Condensed News Items = See Below
News Item Gallery = jcap 93018 -1087
Transcript = None
Key Words =
The News
93018- I
At an early age,
when life sees that you’re going to be dense and docile, it’ll set you off on the right foot.
93018- 2
One guy above ground claimed he had fun on weekends by climbing down in a well.
93018-3
Anything that can only be proved by example is a dead thing.
What’s another name for the life of cattle? — A secret wake.
93018- 4
Once life got a whole bunch of hormones all collected together, it made man; and once it got a whole bunch of men collected together, it made man think.
93018- 5
Shalt we. dance? — TWICE?:
The frightened have no choice but to be serious; the dumb have no choice but to be frightened.
Curtsey, then — OUTTA HERE!
93018- 6
Only those who can’t think — worry about WHAT they think.
The collective like to reassure one another: “Hey — what else are we here FOR?”
Until the time is right,
the sight of Chicago stays hid
by virtue of the sounds, smells, and companionship available ON the cattle cars.
93018 -7
Philistines never miss a chance to laugh at artists — nor the ordinary at every body.
93018-8
When men steal goods from one another, they’re arrested; when ideas, they’re recognized.
For the sake of physical health, incest is discouraged; for intellectual, ENcouraged.
93018-9
Whenever this one chap would meet up with collective based ideas that thought they were important, he’d say to them:
“I’ll call you sometime if I don’t find anything better to do.”
93018 -10
Geographically: An independent thinker is like a break-away continent.
93018-11
Men who have absolutely no idea what’s going on will be delighted to tell you what god said is going on.
93018-12
Custom — like thought — multiplies by criticism.
93018-13
The ordinary who exhort, “a special reverence for human life,” would still cut their shadow if it sneaked up on ’em.
Fact: The collective is always being stalked by somebody. Fact: Life said: “Leave me out of this.”
93018 -14
Item: Being able to “find fault” with man is like shooting whales in barrels.
Item: Ordinary men always want to be armed when in the vicinity of staves.
Item: Life said: “Leave me out of this.”
93018-15
At times when this one guy’d be “thinking-about-thinking,”
and wondering where it originated,
and would also be about to take a leak,
often,
after unzipping and looking down in his pants, he’d say: “Oh! — there you are!”
93018-16
The dumb want to be secure — Well everything has its own price and compensation.
Men’s bovine brains awake each morning and think: “Jeeze! — what a work-out they gave me last night! I wonder what’s in store for me today?!”
93018-18
Men decided it’d be a good idea to come up with some kind of concept like morality once they realized how noisy hormones were gonna be.
93018 -19
One man’s mind told him: “Hah! — you keep thinking the same things, over-and-over!” And he replied: “Double Hah! — how would YOU know!”
Fact: Hah, hah.
93018-20
How The Individual, Independent Mind Can Pass Beyond The First Stage Of “Self-Directed, Intellectual Cannibalism”:
To wit: A man with a twin brother can “get by with murder,” except in the case of his brother
…or else live in a land where siblings are an unknown quantity.
* How can “He-who-thinks-FOR-himself” HAVE an equal — out SIDE himself? *
93018 -21
One man’s motto was:
“Never say never. . . . . except on a Sunday. . . . . when you obviously MEAN IT.”
93018-22
Plagiarism among the crude is in the firing of the second bullet into the victim; amongst the sophisticated, it is the “firming up” of one’s intellectual reputation.
In a world of sling-shots and. B.B. guns,
A real thinker is like a man who might have some
Leather bound books about bonsai trees that he never reads.
93018-23
A man with a scab always has a friend— as long as he’ll scratch at it.
“Yes, contestants — the correct answer to that question WAS: What is, ‘Human thought’’’?
93018-24
When man first conceived of the concept of “Fables,” (April 21, 4,706 B.C.)
he first used machinery rather than animals as a stand-in for man, but then after quickly realizing that he didn’t yet have any, he went ahead with lions, and foxes and the like.
…(It is rumored that there are still those awaiting the up-dating of man’s allegorical efforts.)
93018-25
Life told one burgeoning civilization: “If it’s NOT FUNNY — make the people laugh at it.”
93018-26
Fashion coordinated, corollary:
The dense will laugh at ANYTHING! — well, except one thing —
— and it’s the very thing just ASKING for it!
93018 -27
We herein will observe a brief pause between the reading of that last news item, and the next one. . . . .
93018 -28
Life don’t mind an independent thinker laughing at it since it and he are one.
93018 -29
The game is no longer rigged
to those who realize they were
forced to take a seat and take a hand.
To separate the thinkers-from-the-cows
all you have to do is run up the flag proclaiming, “Unfairness,” and see who salutes.
93018 -3 0
So declared one city:
“Giving an ‘accounting of man’ is NO fit hobby for a man!”
Modifiers: A stalling tactic.
93018-31
After mulling over the matter for some twenty-four hours, times two, one man concluded:
“Anyone who allows large military vehicles in their back yard deserves whatever happens to them after that!”
93018-32
Note: Some news services will periodically include an item that is related to one from another day without giving any mention of it, just to see how their audience will react. Note: This is not one of them.
93018-33
When life’s a mess — men dream of death as “orderly.”
93018-34
The old will admit impotency — the young, never ignorance.
“Hey – from these two extremes we could choose-up sides and play sone kind of game! …hummm…let’s see, what could we call it? Hey, I’ve got it! We will call it, ‘Life In The City With Dick & Jane:
With Very Little Dick, and Not a Whole Lot Of Jane!'”
And life said: “I told you scoundrels to leave me out of all this!”
93018-35
Those who believe in fate
Also believe in Trailways when Greyhound’s not around.
93018-36
Give the mind its due: After all,
After hormones piss on the floor it’ll be the first one to say: “Oh, I’m sorry.”
93018-37
After many years of warfare between the men who believed in fairies,
And the men who believed in trolls,
they decided to call a truce and band together to attack the men who believed in gods. But their local banker shook some important looking papers in the air and declared: “Ain’t nobody goin’ nowhere and leavin’ ME holding you guys’ mortgages!”
93018-38
Give civilization its due:
Men will shun the physically crippled, but embrace those intellectually so.
93018-39
The herd has its own personal lobby —
its name is: “Mutually Beneficial Certainty.”
And all the alert, caring, and hip cows will say:
“He ain’t heavy — he’s my brother, and he’s standing right next to me! — kick him instead!
93108-40
There’s a part of man’s nervous system,
(Located in that area generally referred to as the “brain”) that causes men to sometimes act weird.
93018-41
Query: What is the difference between hemorrhoids and apologies?
93018-42
…(Although this is not an “answer” to that last question,
This might be an opportune time for interested minds to make note that:
Philistines NEVER apologize to artists.
93018 -43
The mind of the collective tacitly proclaims:
“Let us seek sexual direction from the celibate;
Painting lessons from the blind,
and dumb lessons from one another, as we
hold hands and joyously march into our proud, bright future.”
Moral: EVERY body has a sense of humor, but man.
93018-44
One man realized that the human mind had divided up everything in life into two parts. So he thought about each two ’til he wore ’em out — and then pressed on.
93018-45
Since what one man realized about life didn’t seem applicable to ordinary ears,
He’d talk about it by saying that, “One man” (here-and-there) “realized that” so-and-so was so.
93018 -46
The shorter the man is to begin with
The more agreeable he’ll be to increase his height by standing astride midgets.
Is this why those who can think never seek assistance in doing so?!
A man who can answer his own questions — after discovering what the real questions ARE can drive his OWN bus —
Stand beside his OWN road and flag-down-the “hound.”
Then when he steps on board, say:
“Good day to you sir! — Going far? Have a seat, this trip’s on me.”
93018 47
Human life is singularly “sacred” insofar as electricity is.
93018-48
Those who don’t KNOW how simple it is
can often be found out happily announcing to their fellow man the good news that: “It’s not as simple as you think!”
93018 49
More proof that hormones, in a conspiratorial manner, secretly own all bumper-sticker printing companies:
“Guns Don’t Kill People – Guns Just Make People WANT To Kill People, and Wish They Had Bigger Guns.”
Civilization: Sissies telling glands: “Bad boys! — bad, bad!”
93018-50
The weak have an unfair advantage! — they can hide ANY where.
98018-51
More, “Distinctions with Attitudes”:
The difference between “civilized areas” and “not civilized areas” is that:
Shit happens in both places, but nobody bothers to mention it except in the first area.
93018 -52
The crude will attempt to pass off the shocking as the enlightening. The smooth find nothing disturbing about blank canvasses and sunshine.
93018-53
It is REAL-L-L hard
To get men to hear
ANYthing new
withOUT them taking it REAL-L-L seriously.
Carrouselian Justice: This is one way life keeps men from hearing anything new.
93018 -54
Two wranglers a’jawwin’:
“A dead cow is a happy cow! — IF it don’t KNOW that it’s dead.”
(Sizeable pause in conversation — then):
“Say, Ringo — punch that heifer next to you and see she’s a’breathin.'”
Yes, a valuable lesson for one and all.
Shall we each now pinch ourSELVES and make sure we’re still, “movin’ the ole oxygen!”
A perceptive Vivas Machina
can continue to learn even AFTER it’s dead, or dismantled;
…(In fact, for some — that’s the ONLY time! – right, Pecos?!)
93018 -55
Some men carry around some barbed wire in their pants,
but just like some kind of “mumps-in-reverse-and-upside-down,” it often “rises” on them.
…(There’s another story concerning men who carry around barbed wire in their minds, but we’ll have to get to that one some other time.)
9 30 1 8 -5
Astrology: God with a permanent address.
93018-
If you’re insulted AND dense — you don’t NEED a “second” in the impending duel.
Just as they “take the final blow,”
the dumb often say to themselves: “I just KNEW I could ‘do it alone’!”
93018-58
On this one world they held a, “Dumbfest” — but no one came! — Ha ha! — they were already THERE!.
93018-59
How life can GO in “either direction”:
One man’s dick told his brain,
“Hey man — don’t ever lay your theories on a railroad track!”
93018 -60
Only a real thinker “knows” how his mind works—and what the hell doe he care?
The reason that brains seem more important than rectums, and neurologists charge more than proctologists, is so that things will seem this way.
93018 -61
Some of the cows decided they wanted to get a man with a leather brain to lead them, but, hey guys! — that ain’t gonna work either.
93018-62
Even Ph. D’s still smell hormones.
And Dr. Courtney said: “WELL-L-L–what’d you expect?!”)
93018-63
Nothing speaks to a man’s already laid-out, neural highway system like mistreatment.
The “food-chain” keeps animal life going – the “step-on-one-another’s dick,” human.
93018-64
Immediately upon arising each morning,
this one man would look at himself in the full-length mirror in his hall way and say: “Hey! — my man.” Since he knew that a real, independent thinker is NOBODY’S “man.”
93018 -65
Rituals: Habit with window dressing.
93018 -66
A man who thinks like cattle can have no hobby —
— and as far as being, an “ARTIST”– forget it!
93018-61.
Men primarily make fun of one another’s external fashions
since they find it difficult to be certain if what someone else is thinking is actually “out of style,” or not.
Who, but the wondrous DNA of man
could cling to the same fairy tale for five thousand years,
and accept as progress the changing of the heroine’s name from,
“Little Red Riding Hood” to “Little GREEN Riding Hood”-?!
* And the insightful, “gourmet/proverbalist” as always — well remembers:
“Man does not live by bread alone — but by MAN!” *
93018-68
Intellectual Finances:
“Short-term gains” is a concept without meaning to a man whose mind is not chronologically driven.
93018-69
A man who can personally perceive the internal distance between his own, Hormonal Home-Base, and Cerebral Central, knows more than enough to skip the twelfth grade.
93018-70
Any one forced to explain and defend their actions among the collective are, under their breath, going: “M0000.”
93018-71
Anyone born in Budapest
who either wants to leave,
or wants to stay — is forever a Hungarian.
93018-72
To humans
the worst thing about other people “not acting right” is that you’ve gotta THINK about it.
93018 73
A nonpartisan thinker is engaged in a rebellion that has no name.
93018 -74
The faster the train goes, the more cows that wanna get off.
…(Some even fear that if they don’t — the damn thing may start to FLY!)
For the sake of expediency — denser cattle don’t have to have their stop called out, ….they just seem to know.
93018-75
One man thought:
“Well, since the news is always the same — I guess I’ll have to change my ears.”
93018-76
Men who can’t think good have another set of eyes besides the one you see on their face. It’s in their brain, and they’re real squinty, and set real close together.
98018-77
Ultimately — even, “soon” — “A satisfied herd is an UN-satisfied herd.”
98018-78
Who knows less than an ordinary man about the workings of the mind? — The experts who study it.
The collective don’t get it. The specialists just missed it.
93018 -79
In any human situation, there are only two questions fit, pertinent, and required:
One is: “Is this another of those situations wherein only two questions are necessary?” And: “If it is — then what can I do that’s not covered in those two possibilities”?
93018- 0
Why is it that it is the dumbest men who want to be the most important? Better yet: Why is it that you find this at all curious?!
93018-81
Everyone on “A mission to help mankind”
will ultimately crash and explode– and burn any of those around them still capable of feeling.
93018-82
You can take men “not-going-anywhere” — anywhere.
93018-83
Hormones make men “hate” — but the mind made up the word.
All the king’s cattle,
and all the king’s men — thought:
“This may become useful — will you tell us when?!”
93018-84
The more civilized an ordinary man,
The more he blames man for lapses therein.
Again — another slight distinction between an individual thinker, and those fueled by collective energies:
The latter believe man to be the “center of all things,” while the former KNOW him to be.
…(Yes, “slight distinctions” CAN eventually “add up.”)
And life said: “Well, if you guys AREN’T gonna ‘leave me out of it,’ at LEAST don’t be makin’ me laugh
With all this – ‘slight distinctions’ stuff.”
93018 85
One guy got SO mad
at being SO dumb,
that he punched himself in the nose! — and then discovered he’d hit the wrong man.
93018-86
On good days, some men will look in both directions before they cross, but most — in only one.
93018-87
The distance between what ordinary minds call “original thinking” is the same as the spread between their last book reading, pot of coffee, sexual encounter, and triple-topped pizza.
The reason that civilization makes such as big, big deal out of awarding men prizes for intellectual activities is because it is so. . . . . well, I’m sure you can fill-in the rest.
93018-88
“Cow catchers” were put on the front of trains
just in time to save cabooses from having to invent, “Preparation H.”
Ordinary, sequential thought will plough “right ahead,”
even when the soil at hand seems as unfamiliar and questionable to the thinker as does the very mind within him apparently DOING the thinking.
This type of carrousel needs no calliope;
for accompaniment, it has the sound of human breathing.
93018-89
Amongst the collective, the name of health, intellectually is, “uncertainty.”
(Among individual thinkers it comes by another name that no one will talk about)
93018 -90
Another thing about man’s ordinary mind:
it can never be sure, on its own, whether the thought it just had was “all that good” or not…
93018-91
To the crude — physical existence seems as a sport; to the sophisticated, the intellectual, as a game.
Thing is — they both end up taking it all, serious as hell!
When a true, neural artist gazes out upon his own brain,
the same two-word suggestion seems always to spring to mind:
“Cattle mutilation!”
93018 -92
EVERYBODY’S smarter than a man who thinks independently! — Don’t believe it? — just ask ’em.
…(Cause it sure wouldn’t do any good to ask HIM.)
93 018 -93
A man who can be frightened by his own mind doesn’t have much to be afraid of.
93018-94
Only those who have no idea what’s actually going on in life, have any concern over what other men think about.
Today’s weather forecast: Well, that about covers THAT.
93018-95
It looks really good on your resume to put down that you haven’t died yet.
93018-96
Believe It, Or Remove Your Horns:
One man only talked about that which he knew. . . . but no one ever listened. Why was that?
Because he never talked.
93018-97
If a man’s mind is not an active volcano, then it is a worn-out gopher hole.
93018-98
There is no “911 number” to call regarding stupidity. . . . .there is, but it’s the last number anybody wants to be caught dialing.
93018 99
For a true individual thinker —
It’s not important whether what something the collective believes is so or not, he rejects it merely on the basis that the collective has THOUGHT it.
93018-100
The human mind: The only bow whose arrow constructs its own target as it flies.
93018-101
A real man never grows up! Cause he don’t WANT to!